Impostor Syndrome: What it is and how to deal with it
There may be times when you feel like a fraud, like at any moment people will find out that you have no clue what youâre doing and you donât deserve any of your achievements. You think that youâre unworthy of praise, that you only succeeded out of luck.
This is known as Impostor Syndrome, and around 70% of people have struggled with it in their lives. The problem arises when high achievers fail to internalize their success, i.e. when you attribute your success not to your own abilities but rather to external factors.
Some say that impostor syndrome could be linked to traits like anxiety or neuroticism. Impostor syndrome has also been commonly attributed to behavioral causes like childhood experiences, e.g. being labeled as âthe smart oneâ or âthe talented oneâ.
Another huge factor is how well you think you fit into a certain group, e.g. impostor syndrome is common among people of a racial/ethnic/cultural minority, women in STEM, and international students at US universities.
Dr. Pauline R. Clance was the first to design a scale to measure impostor syndrome based on six factors
The impostor cycle, where someone is given an achievement-related task and they either (a) overprepare or (b) procrastinate
The need to be special/the best
Superhuman characteristics
Denial of ability and discounting praise
Feeling fear and guilt about success
There are different types of impostors, as categorized by Dr. Valerie Young, an expert on impostor syndrome (note that these categories arenât mutually exclusive):
Iâve personally dealt with the first two types. Iâm fairly certain I can attribute being âthe geniusâ to childhood/adolescent circumstance: Iâve been known as âthe smart oneâ throughout elementary school and high school - every time I made a mistake, it was met with a chorus of âwahh jo made a mistakeâŠâ Even last month when I had a mini-reunion with some of my high school friends, one of them said something along the lines of âI like when Jo makes mistakes because it reminds me that sheâs human, too.â I can definitely say Iâve overcome that now because, you know, college - everyoneâs as smart or smarter than you and works pretty hard.
Being âthe expertâ is still something Iâm still trying to overcome. Last spring when I was applying to internships, I only dared to apply to those where I met 100% of the requirements. Iâve been coding for like 4 years but I constantly think Iâm incompetent. It once got up to the point where I literally took 3 similar courses to assure myself that I actually do know how to do full-stack web programming. I still struggle to draw the line between relearning something because I donât think I really know it, versus learning something for the expansion of knowledge.
Firstly acknowledge that you have impostor-related thoughts
Awareness is the first step to changing how you think and how you act.
How does impostor syndrome look like in a school/college setting? Examples include
You refrain from asking questions because you think other students/TAs/the professor will think youâre dumb;
You donât respond to questions even though you kind of know the answer but you always think your answers arenât right enough or that theyâre simply wrong;
You donât participate in discussions because you feel that you wonât add any value; or
You prevent yourself from having an opinion because you feel like you have no right to have one.
Think of their possible effects
Do these thoughts help or hinder me? Will anything useful come out of thinking this? Acknowledge that not speaking up may mean slowing your team down or depriving your classmates of potentially valuable insights.
Separate fact from feeling
Are they factual or simply a misinterpretation of my environment?
Differentiate feelings of fraudulence from feeling like an outsider
Does my work show that Iâm incompetent or is the fact that Iâm the only female in a team of males/POC in a team of Caucasians make me think Iâm inferior?
Stop comparing yourself to other people
You might think something along the lines of âthere are already so many people who can do what I do but so much better, so whatâs the point in even trying?â However, remember that these people were once where you were, and taking even the smallest of actions could help you get to where they are.
Be more forgiving with yourself
Rethink perfection
Not everything has to be perfect. Even if you have high standards, not achieving those standards doesnât make you any less worthy.
Reframe mistakes and identify areas of improvement
Itâs okay to be wrong or not to know everything. Think of mistakes as learning opportunities and indicators of gaps in your knowledge/understanding of something, as opposed to a negative measure of your self-worth. Being wrong doesnât mean youâre fake; it just means you have more to learn.
For example, previously I would only answer a question in class if I was at least 90% sure that was the correct answer. Thatâs a high threshold, and I donât think itâs very useful for helping me learn and grow. Over the course of a year, Iâve managed to lower that down to Iâd say around 60% (50% with coffee lmao).
Collect positive experience
Remember and reflect on praises
Think about the efforts you exerted to help you achieve something and the positive responses you garnered when you finally achieved it. Remind yourself of the words of encouragement other people have told you, no matter how small. You could even keep a folder/document/journal to look back on when you feel like a fraud.
Heck, sometimes I feel like my posts arenât useful or my designs are terrible, but then you guys tell me such kind things and I think, maybe Iâm not as bad as I thought.
However, while itâs good to remember the good words people have said, donât work just for the sake of praise. Focus on the value of the work itself and not the validation that comes from it.
Focus on what you can say
Instead of thinking about what you donât know, focus on what you do know and what you can say. Even if what you say isnât entirely correct or relevant, itâll get others around you thinking.
Remind yourself that holding back is like robbing the world of your ideas
Thereâs always some value in your words, even if you donât initially think so. How that value affects the world or other people may differ. For example, when you put forward an idea/thought in a discussion, it could be that
If there were parts that were incorrect, other people might have had the same misconception and are more than happy for the clarification;
Again, if there were parts that werenât correct, they might not have had the same misconception but now realize that there is a way in which the subject can be misinterpreted, thus allowing them to have a more comprehensive understanding of the subject; and/or
Itâll stimulate further thinking and discussion and raise more questions, especially if other people wouldnât normally think what you just thought. Then other people could bounce off your idea and form an equally great one.
Take action
You wonât feel as much of a fraud if youâre doing something that brings you a little closer to achieving your goals or that adds value to your work.
However, be careful not to overwork yourself. Every time you start doing something, pause and think: is this really important to my progress or am I just trying to prove myself?
Instead of working on too many things, do something outside your comfort zone each day no matter how small. Once you do this, focus on quality (your growth) instead of quantity (the number of things you do).
Also, for those of you who fall into the âexpertâ category, this also means practicing just-in-time learning, i.e. learning things when you need it, not just to comfort yourself.
I hope that was helpful, and please donât hesitate to reach out if you have any questions/comments/suggestions :)
