I guess this is a political blog now

[alex51324]

I just saw a post where somebody was talking about the death of their pet snail, and now I'm going to hell because I can't stop cracking up thinking, "Sorry for your snoss." (Snail loss.)

[odddogs]

Abbey the Golden Retriever - DogPerDay

My dear Abbey is a pure bred Golden Retriever. She has one black ear, which I think makes her unique and not “a Serious Fault to her breed”

she's an edgy girl in the body of the girl next door, she doesn't color inside the lines, she doesn't walk on the sidewalk, she doesn't move when cars honk at her

[alex51324]

she picked up somebody else's ear at the dry cleaners.

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

are you good at remembering names?

yes

no

mostly yes

mostly no

results

Remaining time: 17 hours 47 minutes

[alex51324]

names, yes. faces, oh hell no.

[lizmitches]

you can be peeling a boiled egg and think to yourself wow. that was so simple. and then you peel another one and it’s like being in the throes of war. shell everywhere. egg mangled. tears in your eyes. that’s how god keeps you humble

[narwa]

[alex51324]

honestly lots of stuff is like this.

[teaboot]

What if I just. MADE myself a turtle shell

[alex51324]

One of the lovely things about Tumblr's reverse chronological dashboard is that you sometimes get entirely context-free stuff like this. And you absolutely can quite readily keep going and find the context--if there is any--but you also get the opportunity to spend a few moments imagining the possibilities.

Is OP making a costume? Crafting an item of decor? Physically growing a keratinaceous shell out of their own body? Is a turtle's shell keratinaceous, or is it something else?*

(*Answer: The inner layer is bone, and the outer layer is indeed our versatile friend keratin.)

[alex51324]

Scrolled back 24 hours on OP's blog, found no turtle context.

But the power of Tumblr is that I can be confident there isn't any, rather than the platform just refusing to show it to me.

[teaboot]

What if I just. MADE myself a turtle shell

[alex51324]

One of the lovely things about Tumblr's reverse chronological dashboard is that you sometimes get entirely context-free stuff like this. And you absolutely can quite readily keep going and find the context--if there is any--but you also get the opportunity to spend a few moments imagining the possibilities.

Is OP making a costume? Crafting an item of decor? Physically growing a keratinaceous shell out of their own body? Is a turtle's shell keratinaceous, or is it something else?*

(*Answer: The inner layer is bone, and the outer layer is indeed our versatile friend keratin.)

[theriverbeyond]

i think "turning into a pumpkin" is my new favorite way to articulate the state of things when I am at a function and very overstimulated and it feels like my brain is melting. it's like no i can't be a person anymore i have to leave i'm turning into the pumpkin. the time is up yeah i gotta go. yeah see u later. pumpkin time.

[maimonideznuts]

My brother says that, I think it's a navy slang he learned about getting too close to curfew. It might not have originated there but I'm almost certain that's where he learned it.

[alex51324]

screaming

[nattousan]

ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)

[nattousan]

and now, the birds

Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus

[nattousan]

Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius

[nattousan]

hoo boy, ok *out of breath*

GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!

this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render

[nattousan]

speaking of obnoxious coverts:

bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata

the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it

[nattousan]

Madam....

[nattousan]

birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female

pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr

[nattousan]

*melts into goo*

BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus

genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??

nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)

[nattousan]

in other news, I am losing my mind hairline

[nattousan]

SHE'S DONE!!

Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis

my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on

this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏

[nattousan]

*does a little jig*

BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos

the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise

ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!

Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹

[nattousan]

aaaand another one bites the duck,

we're movin right along with bird numero 11!! The lady Mallard!! Anas platyrhyncos

the 16th is looming in the distance so i'm trying to get thru these as quickly as i can so i can have as much time for the GBH as possible. i still need to do the names next to all of them so i've got about a week and a half to finish everything which is GREAT because i have adhd and nothing gets my ass in gear like a fuckin deadline, let me tell you

[nattousan]

power couple that they are, here's bird number 12 and 13,

the Northern Cardinals, Cardinalis cardinalis

and NOW that they are complete, ITS GO TIME, in the next five days (library's closed for mother's day 😭😭) i need to have the GBH fully rendered, the names of the birds vectored, weeded, masked, applied to the wall, and then painted, plus additional cattails throughout. I may be able to get away with just getting the GBH done in time for the unveiling and then just have the names and cattails added later, but i'm gonna really try to get it all done in time. BUT, i have a plan. Part of why i take so long on these is because i really am just figuring it out as I do it lmao. there have been many a time where i am sitting on top of the ladder googling "how to paint birds" but I think if i take the time tomorro to do all that figuring out how to approach it beforehand, this will go a lot faster. I may also recruit some of my artist friends to help with the placing of the names... hrmm we'll see.

Anyways, shout out to the librarian who tracked down exactly the thing i needed so i could figure out where to place the highlights in my birds eyes, ur the real mvp

[nattousan]

thanks for the reminder, kid

[nattousan]

at long last, we've reached the end...

Bird number 14 out of 14,

The Great blue heron, Ardea herodius

thank you to everyone who reached out or got excited about this project, it genuinely gave me the fuel i needed to keep going. In total, the 480+ total hrs it took me to cover this wall pales in comparison to how long its expected to spend on there, hopefully imparting a sense of beauty and love for the natural world to the next generation and here's hoping i'm only getting started with these.

i'll see y'all soon :')

[alex51324]

yay!

The cartoons are some real duality of man stuff there.

[spin-the-wheel-polls]

make a bunch of wheels with bread/cheese/meat/vegetables/sauce/extra so that you can Spin for Sandwich

you're making a sandwich!! Spin THIS wheel 2-4 times for the toppings!

How is it!

good!!

it's alright

ew

EW

inedible

Results

Voting ended on12h

op note: I GOT JAM, JAM AND HOT SAUCE. IM DEAD.

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[skyporf]

isn't that like notoriously not good for bears when they eat processed human stuff

[alex51324]

It's not particularly good for them nutritionally, but the main reason that it's dangerous for bears to eat human food, whether from Dumpsters or given to them on purpose by tourists, is that if they lose their fear of humans, they become dangerous to humans, and then they get shot.

As a person on the bear diet, this is not a concern, unless you're sticking up convenience stores for your monthly twinkies and pringles.

[voidpaws]

ok anyways. post this beast

[foxonrollerskates]

I HAVE THE OTHER PART TO THIS PHOTO

[alex51324]

he truckin

[beardedmrbean]

[alex51324]

this is just what happens when someone brings a puppy to the workplace

[fernsnailz]

my seal drawing

[alex51324]

A+ seal drawing!

[theweirdwideweb]

[alex51324]

The ocean is so fucking weird. Imagine if you were just living your life and then all of the sudden here comes one of these.

Here on land there are only so many ways a creature can move, and by the time you're six or so, you've seen pretty much all of them that you're ever likely to.

Down there in the ocean they can just do anything. You could see a new weird animal every week for your whole life, and then when you're 80 this guy rocks up to you.

[unicorn-elvis]

hoopskirt hovercraft

[alex51324]

I'm glad someone brought this back to my attention, because I have since learned that this video is real, but sped-up. Here's an article from ScienceAlert, with more information about this creature, and a regular-speed video.

Is it any less weird at actual speed? I am unsure, but leaning toward "less silly; more eerie," which is a different flavor of weird, but a similar amount. I am interested in hearing others' thoughts on this matter!

[lauralot89]

🌻

For years, people discussing the villainy of Grandpa Joe from 1971's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory have pointed out that he spent the last twenty years bedridden and unemployed, but made a miraculous recovery when given the opportunity to tour Wonka's factory.

But it's actually worse than that.

The second Wonka bar that Charlie opens is given to him by Grandpa Joe, using the money that Charlie and his mother provided for Joe's tobacco. Charlie is not given this bar until everyone else in the Bucket household, including Charlie's mother, is asleep. The candy bar is a secret from all of them, which means that Charlie's mother is not the one who bought it.

If she didn't buy, who did? Grandpa Joe himself, which means he is able to get out of bed. He may have done this in secret while his daughter is slaving away at the laundry and the other, actually infirm elders are sleeping. Or he's been getting up to buy his own tobacco every week for the past twenty years, and his daughter has simply given up trying to get him to find work again.

Shameful. Truly shameful.

[alex51324]

I am begging people to understand that there is a difference between being able to go to the corner shop once a week and being able to be on your feet at the job site forty hours a week.

Also the grandparents stayed in bed because the house was cold, not because all four of them were physically incapable of ever standing up.

[machetelanding]

[husbandcinnamon]

y’all on the west coast know that nobody else calls them that right

[mssjynx]

t- they’re called zooper doopers??? huh??

[firstaidquarters-deactivated202]

THE FOCK IS A ZOOPER DOOPER THAT’S AN OTTER POP

[mssjynx]

nO WE CALL THEM ZOOPER DOOPERS N THEYRE THE BEST FAKIN SUMMER ICYPOLE

[boffumdeez]

they’re literally just ice pops what the fuck are you two talking about

[tobiguous]

i call them iced lollies, what the hell is a zooper dooper

[jacketslutjayse]

Oh my god this is even worse. Yall out here ssaying otter pop and zooper dooper with a straight face AND insisting ur right?

[philly-punks-and-skins]

A fucking what now?

[coat]

BITCH THEYRE FREEZIES!!!!

[whereserpentswalk]

Here in New York it’s just called an ice.

[ovineweaver]

DO YOU ALL FUCKING MEAN POPSICLES???? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU COMING UP WITH EUPHEMISMS FOR POPSICLES.

[virovirokun-has-adhd]

who put a zooper dooper on my dash and then insisted it was called anything but a zooper dooper.

[wwhore]

?. The humble freeze pop ??

[eddie-roo]

That’s clearly a BonIce

[alex51324]

pop ice.

[arsenicalbronze]

due south fans:

ray k's 'fursona' (in lieu of the term spirit animal) has previously been well postulated by akamine_chan to be a honey badger

which i find both hilariously amusing and hilariously accurate, considering both the simulation of the haircut and the posture

now: the question, inspired by a gif of otters on my dash that reminded me of ray v's 'pelt' description of fraser's hair

is there any consensus on what type of creature fraser would be?

[dirtyzucchini]

I know nothing about consensus but I am firmly team otter for Fraser because of this little gem

First one Thing, Then the Otter (13232 words) by Alex51324 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: due South Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Benton Fraser/Ray Kowalski Characters: Ray K, Fraser Summary:

When the guys find signs of a sea otter living in a Chicago pond, Fraser is strangely reluctant to investigate.

[dirtyzucchini]

Also I don't think Ray Kowalski is a honey badger, I think he's a meerkat. Honey badgers don't care about anyone or anything, but Ray is ride or die for the people he considers his people. Doesn't mean he wouldn't fight them in a parking lot but no one else gets to.

I therefore propose:

Excuse the picture I borrowed from a movie but I couldn't find a picture from the show that accurately conveys the extent to how he's really just a long straight line. I made him mostly decent at least.

[iwilltrytobereasonable]

Hey @alex51324 !

[alex51324]

! Gosh, I haven't thought about that one in a long time. Team Whimsey for the win!