❝ the fact that you’d sit in economy for me is humbling. i’ll do my best to be entertaining company to make up for the cramping in your legs. ❞ the ease of which salem finds himself falling back into the comfortable back and forth routine between him and ezra is something that has him wonder if it’s less to do with a shared sense of humor, but more so how they just seem to understand one another. he’s never once found to be so attuned to someone other than himself, wanting to learn the hidden intricacies and simple ways to extract a smile or a laugh. yet, around ezra, salem often times would anticipate when he would be able to pull either from him. being around another person hasn’t ever felt this easy before. talking to ezra and joking around with ezra was easy as breathing, experiencing the same simple relief that came with an exhale. ezra was a breath of fresh air amongst the damp staleness that new york city offered. he’s has known this since their first interaction. it’s only recently solidified into more delicate of a feeling and salem wants to hold onto it with care, leaving no chance for outward forces to impact it. such sentimentality is worn across his features, an unspoken fondness which softens his gaze as the two lock eyes following ezra’s offer. it wasn’t much of an offer considering the younger seemed to be telling salem that he, in fact, would be staying the night. not that salem minded. when could he ever say no to ezra ?? especially in a time like now while the younger pleaded with him. salem’s been indulging himself in his childlike crush for too long, though it’s difficult to say no to ezra when he looks as he does, cutely cuddled into salem’s side with droopy eyes as sleep begins to win in pulling him under. the fact that ezra wants to be with him in the morning makes his heart race. ❝ i’ll stay the night. ❞ he murmurs in confirmation, offering a gentle smile to his friend before exhaustion lures him into unconsciousness.
all the times salem has told himself his growing crush on ezra would ebb away like the tides of coney island beach at night prove to be futile once he witnesses the beauty of ezra peering up at him as sleep still clings to him. that’s the thing, salem finds, perhaps he should’ve known from the beginning of such feelings that he couldn’t control them. like the waves to the moon, there was an ebb and flow to it all which appeared out of his control. how he felt toward ezra was a steady current, starting small and gaining momentum to where he was now — in the presence of a beautiful boy who’s in his arms where salem desires nothing more than to be able to lean down and claim ezra’s lips with his own. that thought alone settles deep in his gut, clawing at his heart with pitiful longing to make his affections known. of course, he can never act on it for fear of ever putting ezra in that situation and ruining the complex delicacy of their friendship. instead, salem will only watch on in unfiltered fondness and take whatever scraps ezra offers. ❝ you say that now; just wait until you’re in your own bed. ❞ salem answers, tone light and paired with a chuckle despite the painful swell of his heart as ezra’s hand settles on his waist and pulls him in for a hug. salem said he’ll take what ezra will offer, but the domesticity of this moment shows a glance into the realm of it would be like to call the younger his own and it’s almost taunting. salem’s next breath rattles through his chest, hardly reassuring and ghastly as it sends an arrhythmic wave of goosebumps along his arms despite the heat of the car. any words salem strings together in his mind to reply with can’t seem to be vocalized, an irrational fear of making his affections known overcoming him as the exit the car. salem chooses to nod in silent agreement. he trails close behind the younger, his fingers itching to reach out to intertwine like they had been at the airport but facing the extended rhee family keeps them stilled by his side. there’s been multiple occasions where salem has met ezra’s family, gotten along with his sisters and mother in casual conversation, yet this somehow seems more invasive. like salem is intruding on a personal family moment now that their only son and brother has returned after having been a week away. and here salem is hoarding up time spent with ezra. it’s to be expected that the other wants nothing more than to retreat to his bedroom after a grueling flight, though salem wasn’t imagining himself to be standing in the entryway of the rhee estate with ezra immediately climbing the stares with few departing words before disappearing into the vastness of the house. his familiarity with the rest of ezra’s family seems minuscule as their gazes turn to him and he offers a small smile with his greeting. it’s safe to assume that ezra’s gone up to shower or unwind, a personal time that salem doesn’t wish to impose himself on, so he accepts ezra’s mother’s suggestion of dinner and follows them into the kitchen. the last time he was in the kitchen splays across the forefront of his mind — ezra and his brief argument that morphed into an oddly intimate moment where salem remembers peering up at the younger as the younger cupped his chin and whatever he was about to say having been cut off by the hiss of the food on the stove. red splotches across his cheeks and salem accepts a small portion of what was made, answering the questions addressed to him by faith and hope. even with how many times he visits ezra in connecticut and his family by default, he can’t help but always feel ridiculously underdressed. by the time his plate his empty and he places it in the dishwasher, it feels like time stretched on and salem excuses himself to follow up the way ezra had. he slips off his converse on the entryway carpet, holding them up by the backs as he ascends the stairs and follows the familiar route into ezra’s room. salem places his shoes by the door, ears straining as he hears the shower running in the ensuite and he wonders what the do. he didn’t seem to fully think through how the night would unravel, not having brought a change of clothes to sleep in or even a toothbrush. chocolate hues take in the modernity of the bedroom despite how many time he’s been inside and salem finds himself unsure of what to do. he isn’t one to allow exterior clothes onto his bed, though he isn’t sure where ezra’s stance is and sitting in one of the chairs by the window seems awkward. slowly, salem sits at the edge of the bed, bringing his legs up to cross and ignoring the discomfort from his jeans despite the slight leniency given from the distressed holes in the knees. goosebumps rush across his arms from the chill of the air condition. salem figures it’s best to pass time until ezra’s return by texting his roommate of his location and plans for the night, head bowed and disheveled pink strands falling into his field of vision as he types out his message.
ezra rhee was the kind of person who always had about fifty different things racing through his mind at a time. which studio his design tutorial is going to be in, so he doesn’t end up crashing another fine arts course. what time he’s meant to pick up the twins at the daycare, ensuring he was there early enough to get a hold of jason’s presence for once to be able to strike a conversation ( which always ended up to be more of a gossip session ) with his friend. whether his sister’s boyfriend was going to stay the night and if so, it would probably be a good idea to have his noise cancelling headphones handy. and yet somehow, standing under the warm rush of the water, everything stood stagnant for once and he had the grace of focusing on fewer things. the things he kept pushing to the back of his head, silently wishing that it would go away. things he shouldn’t be pondering on if his intentions with salem were merely stemmed from what he had tried to convince himself of this entire time — platonic. ever since he was younger, ezra had never found it easy to get along with people. he was never the most social person, especially compared to his sisters. all this despite being pulled into his family’s corporate galas or the numerous extracurriculars after school his parents had forced him to attend. don’t get him wrong — ezra tried his best, or at least what he thought was the best through buying his relationships through gifts and materials. although, those friendships would always end up being shallow. his favourite people always turned out to be the ones he could just exist around. it was something he learned overtime. the ones he would willingly spend whatever free time he had left with, without feeling like he had to restrain himself ( yet again ) from letting his dry sense of humour take over and say the wrong words. nothing that made him feel like he had to carry the weight of keeping up a conversation the entire time. maybe that was why he liked being around salem’s company so much — even with their schedules intertwining with one another’s almost every day, ezra never felt the need to fill up the silence the second there was a lull in the conversation. should there even be one in the first place. ezra allows himself to trace back to his various encounters with the older boy ; what started out as a confrontation over mistakenly overbooked computers at the columbia undergraduate library had now blossomed into a friendship ezra held closest to his heart. what does it mean to suddenly demand more from it, though? is it only salem’s undivided attention ezra was vying for? he’s always liked being around salem, there’s no doubt around that. sure, he liked being around his picture-perfect church girl of an ex-girlfriend, but this was different. this wasn’t pure comfort. this wasn’t ezra settling into routine. it’s ezra wanting more. and wanting to get a hold of something so intangible felt sickly sweet and suffocating to him all at once.
he walks out of the shower and begins to dry himself, gently patting his face a few times to wake himself up from whatever trance he got himself into. ezra wonders for a moment if salem’s managing to get along with his extended family downstairs, scolding himself for leaving a guest alone — someone he invited himself to the house — with no introduction or indication of what he’s supposed to do once ezra was selfish enough to head inside and carry on with his own matters. “ fuck, ” ezra curses under his breath as he scours the pile of clothes he brought with him into the bathroom. pretty fucking stupid of him not to realise that he brought two pairs of shorts instead of a shirt. whatever. once he finishes dressing himself, cautious footsteps made it back to the bedroom, but the sight that welcomes him takes ezra by surprise. the last thing he expected when walking out of his bathroom half-naked was to see salem sitting on the edge of his bed. ezra felt like he was in some dumb taiwanese romcom he’d watch as a guilty pleasure whenever it’s 3am and he struggles to fall asleep. if this was meant to be fate or whatever romanticised bullshit they taught you as a morale from those movies, then it better end up with the happy endings ( as sappy as they were ) they promise you with. because it felt like it was too late for ezra to back out. a sheepish smile pulls on his lips, eyes immediately darting downwards. this shouldn’t be anything new. they’ve hung out by his family’s backyard pool on multiple occasions. then what is he so nervous for? slowly, he compiles whatever courage he has left and raises his gaze up to speak. “ oh, hey. did you have dinner yet? ” he started, breaking the silence, his hand reaching up to rub his head with the towel that was hanging on his neck. ezra looked down at the spare pair of shorts he was holding, his first instinct commanding him to throw it at salem’s direction. “ you can use this for the night. ” rolling his bottom lip between his teeth, ezra turns back to his drawer and grabs the first two shirts in sight — one for him, one for salem — and flings the spare at his friend. painful was the only thing that comes to mind. how things change when you’re suddenly so self-conscious. it’s only awkward if you make it awkward, he reminds himself, but it seems that he still was unable to practice what he preached. “ i hope those are okay? the shirt might be a bit big on you. my mum got lured into the whole marie kondo thing and unfortunately, she dragged the entire household into it and made me get rid of things i’ve grown out of. since apparently it doesn’t spark joy or some shit. ” as the seconds passed, his jitteriness only grew tenfold. ezra perched himself on the space beside salem, his body weight sinking down on the bed. he laughed softly as he spoke, a warm smile spreading on his features, “ unless you want me to ask the twins for a spare shirt, which i could easily get you one. you and jae have quite a similar fashion sense. ”
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