&. 𝑖𝑛 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑚

[salemisms]

rheemingyu​:

ezra rhee was the kind of person who always had about fifty different things racing through his mind at a time. which studio his design tutorial is going to be in, so he doesn’t end up crashing another fine arts course. what time he’s meant to pick up the twins at the daycare, ensuring he was there early enough to get a hold of jason’s presence for once to be able to strike a conversation ( which always ended up to be more of a gossip session ) with his friend. whether his sister’s boyfriend was going to stay the night and if so, it would probably be a good idea to have his noise cancelling headphones handy. and yet somehow, standing under the warm rush of the water, everything stood stagnant for once and he had the grace of focusing on fewer things. the things he kept pushing to the back of his head, silently wishing that it would go away. things he shouldn’t be pondering on if his intentions with salem were merely stemmed from what he had tried to convince himself of this entire time — platonic. ever since he was younger, ezra had never found it easy to get along with people. he was never the most social person, especially compared to his sisters. all this despite being pulled into his family’s corporate galas or the numerous extracurriculars after school his parents had forced him to attend. don’t get him wrong — ezra tried his best, or at least what he thought was the best through buying his relationships through gifts and materials. although, those friendships would always end up being shallow. his favourite people always turned out to be the ones he could just exist around. it was something he learned overtime. the ones he would willingly spend whatever free time he had left with, without feeling like he had to restrain himself ( yet again ) from letting his dry sense of humour take over and say the wrong words. nothing that made him feel like he had to carry the weight of keeping up a conversation the entire time. maybe that was why he liked being around salem’s company so much — even with their schedules intertwining with one another’s almost every day, ezra never felt the need to fill up the silence the second there was a lull in the conversation. should there even be one in the first place. ezra allows himself to trace back to his various encounters with the older boy ; what started out as a confrontation over mistakenly overbooked computers at the columbia undergraduate library had now blossomed into a friendship ezra held closest to his heart. what does it mean to suddenly demand more from it, though? is it only salem’s undivided attention ezra was vying for? he’s always liked being around salem, there’s no doubt around that. sure, he liked being around his picture-perfect church girl of an ex-girlfriend, but this was different. this wasn’t pure comfort. this wasn’t ezra settling into routine. it’s ezra wanting more. and wanting to get a hold of something so intangible felt sickly sweet and suffocating to him all at once. 

he walks out of the shower and begins to dry himself, gently patting his face a few times to wake himself up from whatever trance he got himself into. ezra wonders for a moment if salem’s managing to get along with his extended family downstairs, scolding himself for leaving a guest alone — someone he invited himself to the house — with no introduction or indication of what he’s supposed to do once ezra was selfish enough to head inside and carry on with his own matters. “ fuck, ” ezra curses under his breath as he scours the pile of clothes he brought with him into the bathroom. pretty fucking stupid of him not to realise that he brought two pairs of shorts instead of a shirt. whatever. once he finishes dressing himself, cautious footsteps made it back to the bedroom, but the sight that welcomes him takes ezra by surprise. the last thing he expected when walking out of his bathroom half-naked was to see salem sitting on the edge of his bed. ezra felt like he was in some dumb taiwanese romcom he’d watch as a guilty pleasure whenever it’s 3am and he struggles to fall asleep. if this was meant to be fate or whatever romanticised bullshit they taught you as a morale from those movies, then it better end up with the happy endings ( as sappy as they were ) they promise you with. because it felt like it was too late for ezra to back out. a sheepish smile pulls on his lips, eyes immediately darting downwards. this shouldn’t be anything new. they’ve hung out by his family’s backyard pool on multiple occasions. then what is he so nervous for? slowly, he compiles whatever courage he has left and raises his gaze up to speak. “ oh, hey. did you have dinner yet? ” he started, breaking the silence, his hand reaching up to rub his head with the towel that was hanging on his neck. ezra looked down at the spare pair of shorts he was holding, his first instinct commanding him to throw it at salem’s direction. “ you can use this for the night. ” rolling his bottom lip between his teeth, ezra turns back to his drawer and grabs the first two shirts in sight — one for him, one for salem — and flings the spare at his friend. painful was the only thing that comes to mind. how things change when you’re suddenly so self-conscious. it’s only awkward if you make it awkward, he reminds himself, but it seems that he still was unable to practice what he preached. “ i hope those are okay? the shirt might be a bit big on you. my mum got lured into the whole marie kondo thing and unfortunately, she dragged the entire household into it and made me get rid of things i’ve grown out of. since apparently it doesn’t spark joy or some shit. ” as the seconds passed, his jitteriness only grew tenfold. ezra perched himself on the space beside salem, his body weight sinking down on the bed. he laughed softly as he spoke, a warm smile spreading on his features, “ unless you want me to ask the twins for a spare shirt, which i could easily get you one. you and jae have quite a similar fashion sense. ” 

       in  the  time  it  takes  for  salem  to  type  his  roommate  a  message  about  his  absence  for  the  night,  a  new  wave  of  worries  seem  to  creep  up  on  him  where  his  finger  seems  stuck  hovering  over  the  send  button.  while  he  knows  ezra  wouldn't  have  invited  him  to  stay  the  night  if  he  didn't  truly  mean  it,  salem  can't  help  but  wonder  if  it  was  done  more  out  of  pity  than  genuine  desire.  then  his  mind  recalls  the  adorable  sleepy  expression  ezra  wore  paired  with  the  pleading  in  his  tone  when  he  asked  salem  to  stay.  fondness  bubbles  up  in  his  chest,  filling  him  with  a  warmth  which  puts  the  goosebumps  on  his  arms  at  ease.  perhaps  it  was  wishful  thinking  on  his  own  part  —  a  pitiful  longing  for  something  more  that  he  began  to  misconstrue  ezra's  intentions  as  one's  the  mirrored  his  own.  it  was  a  silly  thought  to  entertain,  yet  salem  clutched  it  close  for  a  possible  what  if  ??  he  should  feel  bad  for  hoarding  the  time  of  the  younger  when  he's  been  away  from  a  week  and  his  family  evidently  wishes  to  spend  time  with  ezra  now  that  he's  returned.  the  fact  that  ezra  chose  to  be  with  salem  of  all  people  tugged  at  his  heartstrings.  is  this  what  it  was  like  to  be  deemed  and  seen  as  important  to  someone  else  ??  considering  his  upbringing  and  adolescent  years,  salem  found  himself  only  turning  to  his  aunt  and  cousin  for  that  sense  of  belonging  since  lord  knows  he  wasn't  ever  to  get  it  from  his  mother.  but  with  ezra  ...  salem  experienced  that  same  feeling  of  belonging.  like  he  belonged.  or  at  least  from  what  he's  gathered  in  time  spent  with  the  rhee  clan  where  conversation  flowed  just  as  easy  as  the  wine  ezra's  mom  poured  and  laughter  spilled  out  of  lips,  filling  salem  with  a  sense  of  pride  from  making  them  laugh  as  they  had.  to  be  honest,  it  scares  salem  that  he  was  becoming  as  accustomed  to  the  rhee  family  as  he  was  ezra.  he  wasn't  sure  what  it  meant  and  if  he  was  getting  too  attached  —  too  close  when  it  would  only  lead  to  being  burned  once  his  expectations  of  where  things  seemed  to  be  heading  collapsed.  the  possibility  of  seeing  ezra  with  his  arm  wrapped  around  the  shoulder  of  another  person  was  enough  to  sour  his  mood  and  salem  shook  his  head.  with  a  tired  sigh,  he  sent  the  message  before  tossing  his  phone  behind  him  on  the  bed.

       salem  is  unsure  how  long  he's  left  brooding  in  his  own  head,  considering  if  he  should've  stayed  down  in  the  kitchen  longer  and  given  ezra  more  time  to  finish  up  his  shower,  when  he  glances  up  at  the  sound  of  his  friend's  voice.  whatever  words  he  prepared  in  response  disappear  as  chocolate  hues  widen  at  the  sight  of  the  sculpted  plains  of  ezra's  chest,  still  shining  with  steam  from  the  bathroom.  his  mouth  dries  up  while  a  warmness  pools  in  his  gut  and  salem  can  feel  it  spread  to  his  face,  a  dusting  of  pink  covering  his  cheeks.  an  undignified  whine  nearly  escapes  his  lips  at  the  realization  that  his  face  most  likely  matches  the  color  of  his  hair.  regardless,  salem  is  here  in  a  platonic  nature  —  ezra  is  his  best  friend  and  he  shouldn't  be  ogling  the  other  in  his  own  room.  it  seems  oddly  like  some  test  that  clearly  salem  is  losing.  he  forces  his  gaze  back  up  to  meet  ezra's,  blatantly  ignoring  the  unease  he's  overwhelmed  with  and  offers  a  close  mouthed  smile.  ❝  yeah,  i  did.  it  was  nice  seeing  your  family  again.  ❞  salem  replies  in  earnest.  it  has  been  a  while  since  he's  spoken  to  the  younger's  family  and  it  certainly  was  nice  catching  up  on  all  of  what's  been  happening  in  their  lives.  ❝  you  must  be  tired;  do  you  want  me  to  go  back  down  and  bring  you  up  some  so  you  can  lay  in  bed  ??  did  you  eat  anything  on  the  plane  ride  back  ??  ❞  he  added,  finding  it  easy  to  fall  back  into  concern  for  his  friend  despite  the  voice  in  his  head  telling  him  to  avert  his  gaze  downward  again.  the  urge  is  strong  though  salem  prides  himself  on  his  restraint  when  he  catches  the  shorts  thrown  at  him.  gives  him  something  else  to  focus  on.  it's  a  kind  gesture  —  ezra  offering  up  clothes  of  his  own  to  salem  since  he  has  none  other  than  what  he's  wearing,  but  it  still  feels  strangely  intimate  and  an  odd  mixture  of  embarrassment  and  fondness  rushes  through  him.  shaky  fingers  are  unfolding  the  shorts  in  his  lap  when  another  blob  of  fabric  hits  hia  face  and  salem  sputters,  dropping  the  shorts  in  his  lap  and  shooting  a  glare  that  holds  no  real  heat  toward  his  friend.  ❝  thanks.  how  kind  of  you.  ❞  his  tone  is  dry,  though  there's  an  undercurrent  of  fondness  that  slowly  creeps  up  through  the  cracks  like  flowers  in  the  concrete.  it  should  be  unfair  to  note  how  painfully  common  it's  become  for  salem  to  catch  the  softness  in  the  words  he  offers  ezra,  an  unfiltered  sentimentality  that  has  his  heart  race  at  the  prospect  of  ezra  knowing  —  knowing  where  salem  stands,  knowing  his  feels.  it's  an  uncharted  area  that  he  won't  ever  investigate  for  fear  of  the  repercussions.  instead,  he'll  just  clutch  at  the  oversized  shirt  with  white  knuckles  as  a  shirtless  and  still  relatively  wet  ezra  sits  beside  him  on  the  bed.  salem  tenses,  answering  with  a  slight  nod  while  the  remnants  of  the  younger's  shower  fill  the  air  with  whatever  ridiculously  overpriced  and  expensive  body  wash  and  shampoo  clinging  to  his  skin.  whatever  it  is  smells  lovely  and  the  heat  in  his  gut  burns  from  the  close  proximity,  the  hairs  on  his  arms  going  rigid  from  the  warmth  radiating  off  ezra's  bare  skin.  jesus  fucking  christ,  salem  needed  to  get  his  shit  together  and  not  get  a  fucking  hard  on  from  ogling  the  contoured  chest  of  his  best  friend.  swallowing  the  lump  in  his  throat,  salem  aims  for  casual  as  he  shoots  the  younger  an  unimpressed  look  like  he  usually  does  when  he  offers  up  one  of  his  lame  quips.  though,  his  attempt  of  indifference  cracks  when  watching  ezra  smile  is  like  staring  at  the  sun;  shining  so  incredibly  bright  and  radiant  that  it  leave  salem  in  momentary  awe,  blinking  away  the  spots  in  his  vision  before  offering  up  a  smile  of  his  own.  ❝  yeah  ??  and  what  kind  of  fashion  is  that  ??  or  is  this  another  way  of  yours  in  calling  me  short  ??  ❞  salem  teases  with  a  breath  of  a  laugh  and  despite  his  better  judgement,  reaches  out  to  lightly  shove  at  ezra's  shoulder.  ❝  brat.  ❞  he  tacks  on  in  fondness  before  willing  himself  to  stand  and  deciding  to  change  so  he's  doing  something  other  than  actively  staring  at  the  younger's  muscles.  in  an  attempt  to  gather  some  sort  of  control  of  the  situation,  he  unbuckles  his  belt  and  unzips  his  pants  before  yanking  off  his  old  band  shirt  and  tossing  it  the  ground  beside  him.  the  chill  of  the  air  in  the  room  circulated  by  the  speed  of  the  fan  has  him  shiver,  avoiding  ezra's  expression  as  he  reaches  over  to  grab  the  shirt  given  to  him  and  pulling  it  over  his  head.  ❝  you  weren't  kidding.  ❞  salem  says  aloud  in  a  mumble,  more  so  to  himself  as  he  catches  a  glimpse  of  himself  in  the  mirror.  the  shirt  smells  wholeheartedly  like  ezra  and  while  there's  still  a  dusting  of  pink  slowly  fading  from  his  cheeks,  he  swallows  down  the  self  consciousness.  next  he  discards  the  skin  tight  jeans  from  off  his  legs  and  deposits  his  wallet  on  the  dresser  before  dropping  them  on  top  of  his  shirt.  chocolate  hues  settle  on  his  reflection,  widening  ever  so  slightly  as  the  hem  of  the  shirt  surpasses  the  length  of  his  boxers  and  cuts  off  just  a  bit  above  his  knee.  ❝  i  look  like  i'm  wearing  a  dress.  ❞  he  breathes  out  with  a  small  chuckle,  cheeks  certainly  still  flushed  as  he  turns  to  ezra  with  wide  eyes  and  incredulous  laughter  bubbling  out  past  his  lips.  salem  gathers  his  clothes,  folds  them  according  and  places  them  on  the  nearby  chair.  he's  unsure  where  exactly  to  put  them  but  salem  wasn't  a  slob  and  surely  wasn't  going  to  leave  his  clothes  dumped  on  the  floor.  toeing  off  his  socks,  salem  soon  settles  back  down  on  the  bed  and  exhaling  from  the  sheer  comfort  of  the  mattress  as  he  sits  cross  legged,  arms  supporting  his  weight  while  he  leans  back  and  he  relaxes.  part  of  his  mind  is  telling  him  to  put  on  the  shorts  while  the  other  half  is  too  lazy  to  do  excess  movements.  so  he  leaves  them  on  the  foot  of  the  bed.  ❝  dress  or  not,  i  still  look  good.  maybe  i  should  wear  your  clothes  more  often.  ❞  salem  teases  and  is  fully  aware  he's  teetering  on  the  knife's  edge  of  something  dangerous,  but  he  can't  seem  to  help  himself.  ❝  unless  your  plan  is  to  stay  dressed  down.  ❞  he  adds  adds  as  an  afterthought  as  he  attention  slips  and  briefly  flickers  back  down  to  ezra's  bare  chest.

[salemisms]

inkamtatum​:

bits of information continue to be poured on top of his head very persistently & without any apparent pauses in between each word to give him time to process it. still most of what is being shared with him doesn’t seem to make any sense according to what had happened up to this moment in his day, in his mind. kam knits his brows together & forces himself to think hard, thoroughly considering that he’s possibly covered his shift already & this is just part of one of those terrible sleep episodes that attack him so frequently when he least expects it, causing him to momentarily forget about certain things of his day. considering the options at hand, that doesn’t seem like it’s too far from reality given he hasn’t had a decent night of sleep in a while & the mere presence of the young man standing before him brings stress back into his system in full force. while he’s not to admit it out loud, it’s terribly shameful to have to depend on the man that he’d possibly coerced into kissing him to prove a point that was left unproven by the end of his experimentation anyway. somewhat unfair to him, but to have had salem responding to his request is the mere reason why kam is even upset with him, because he’s rarely ever wrong about the way he can easily read people’s emotions. this anger triggers back the memories into his brain to remind himself what he’d been told by the hostile man just moments before. ❝ i think i’d really do well if i wasn’t bombarded by curses, an arrogant attitude & instead i was met with kindness, salem. if i look the way that i do at this very moment is partly your fault anyway. plus this is the least a bad kisser could do for someone who’s clearly struggling with a chronic condition. ❞ kam instantly holds up a hand & lifts his index finger at the other, as if he was silently whispering a spell that would seal salem’s lips before he’d continue to let venom drip from them, to potentially cause more harm to him. ❝ i fucked up, alright ? i’m sorry for being impertinent about whatever the hell is going on between you & ezra, but we can talk about that when i’m not in this state of mind anymore. i can barely process thoughts without feeling like i’m stuck in my actions because of this… thing. ❞ there’s fear still lingering around his frame, although he’s going to blindly trust the man that continues to stare at him as if he was offering him a bizarre performance to unravel once this one’s over. he’s been left with no option after he stupidly made the mistake of not taking his pills the previous night & because of the hours throughout the night he spent in deep thought, meditating & contemplating how he would approach salem if he was to talk to him first. ❝ try to think hard of what i’m saying & forget about whatever has you staring back at me like that or talking to me so rudely, i… have a condition that prevents me from functioning like a normal human being at times & at this moment it’s being triggered because of life circumstances & lack of sleep. ❞ he pauses briefly & makes sure there’s no one around before he spills out what possibly many would consider a very simple confession that wouldn’t affect the way they view him ( not according to their own perspective ), but kam knows very well how this works & he’d love to avoid having to confront people about it or notice how they joke around him or even pity him for what he is afflicted by. ❝ i have narcolepsy. it’s… very mild, but when it gets bad, it’s somewhat serious. i don’t need you to lecture me on why i should have, i already did it & there’s no way to fix it; i didn’t take my pills & i’m struggling to keep myself awake, as you probably noticed already. i swear to you, that you can tell me to fuck off after tonight, but i also have mild cataplexy & i’m afraid i won’t make it back home if my muscles stop working while i’m walking back home. it’s not too far, but not too close either. i know that you’ve told me already that you wouldn’t leave me alone, i still see myself to please beg to you… help me. i might even need a piggy ride back home, but !! on the brightside, i swear i won’t tell anyone you’re so bad at kissing, if you don’t tell anyone about any of this. do you think we have a deal ? i… don’t have anyone else to ask for help right now. i-i’m aware that i may have fucked up the way we were starting to be friendly with one another… ❞ he’s stopped from his initially sentimental speech by a long yawn & he begins to rub his eyes gently with the back of his hands, as he can feel himself getting hit by another wave of exhaustion. ❝ i can’t do this alone & it would really help if you weren’t mad at me for like an or two hour. i’ll pay you back with food. i’ll bring dinner to you when our shifts match next. bento style. i would also offer myself to teach you how to kiss, but that’s ezr… xpected to be self taught & your own responsibility, huh ? i’m dramatic & all, you know it by now, so will you help me or will i have to lose all of what’s left of my dignity by trying to see if i can get either my roommate - who is possibly fucking his sugar daddy right now - or uh, jason maybe… to help me with this instead ? i would hate to have to do that… ❞

       salem  hardly  ever  considers  a  night  where  he's  behind  the  bar  mixing  drinks  and  dealing  with  the  general  public  as  a  good  night.  there  really  is  no  such  thing.  especially  when  he  unfortunately  has  to  carve  out  a  spot  for  himself  in  the  world  and  make  a  living  by  begrudgingly  participating  in  capitalism.  dealing  with  annoying  drunks  by  indulging  in  their  shit  flirtations  regardless  if  they  leave  behind  a  pretty  tip  never  qualifies  as  a  good  shift.  salem  would  prefer  if  there  were  no  shift  but  alas,  while  he  does  make  a  good  income  with  his  writing,  the  prospect  of  being  holed  up  in  his  apartment  with  the  weighed  expectation  of  solely  putting  words  to  paper  is  mentally  draining  enough.  bartending,  for  as  much  shit  as  salem  gives  it,  is  tolerable.  the  money  can  be  nice  as  well,  he  supposes.  even  if  it  does  feel  like  he's  dealing  with  petulant  toddlers  when  told  no.  so  when  kam's  response  washes  over  him,  salem  can  sense  his  jaw  clench  and  chocolate  hues  flicker  shut  in  an  attempt  to  center  himself  before  replying  without  a  filter.  if  this  is  what  being  nice  got  him  then  salem  might  as  well  continue  on  being  a  fucking  twat.  ❝  kam.  first  of  all,  ❞  salem  started  once  he  gathered  himself  and  his  gaze  opened  to  settle  on  kam  again.  ❝  you  cursed  at  me  first.  i  was  merely  responding  in  the  tone  given  to  me.  second  of  all,  you're  the  one  who  essentially  challenged  me  into  kissing  you  and  i'm  not  warranting  any  further  conversation  about  this  right  now.  taunting  the  person  offering  to  help  you  isn't  the  best  way  to  get  them  to  continue.  ❞  he  replies  evenly.  somehow  this  conversation  reminds  him  of  a  very  confusing  game  of  ping  pong,  completely  unaware  where  kam's  next  train  of  thought  will  land  and  how  to  prepare  himself  for  it.  salem  doesn't  expect  his  silence  to  invite  kam  to  venture  into  his  apology  and  it's  hardly  something  he  expects  for  the  other  to  bring  up  on  his  own  volition.  sure,  he  figures  the  two  of  them  will  sort  out  their  shit  one  way  or  another,  but  for  that  place  to  be  in  their  break  room  where  kam  was  nearly  passed  out  on  the  decrepit  couch  with  questionable  stains  on  the  pillows  was  unforeseen.  acidity  rises  up  his  throat  at  the  mention  of  ezra,  ready  to  take  the  form  of  venomous  words  soon  to  be  directed  at  kam.  salem  swallows  down  the  bitter  taste  as  it  settles  in  that  kam  is  apologizing.  beneath  the  subtle  thrum  of  irritation  bubbling  in  his  veins  is  fondness  for  the  familiarity  of  the  other's  melodrama.  part  of  salem  misses  having  someone  as  eccentric  as  kam  to  talk  to  when  he's  a  splash  of  vibrant  color  amongst  the  drab  monochromatic  personalities  he's  encountered  since  settling  in  new  york.  he'd  like  to  continue  a  friendship  with  the  other  and  can  genuinely  see  their  relationship  taking  that  form.  so  salem  forgoes  the  scathing  reply  dancing  on  the  tip  of  his  tongue  for  something  more  gentle,  and  hopes  his  expression  mirrors  such.  ❝  it's  fine.  i  forgive  you,  but  i'm  not  discussing  ezra  right  now.  if  we  ever  do  then  that  will  be  on  my  terms.  ❞  he  answers  in  a  considerably  lighter  tone  than  earlier.  his  frustrations  soon  disappear  as  concern  for  the  other's  wellbeing  takes  its  place.  his  eyebrows  knit  at  kam's  first  admission  and  salem  drops  his  gaze  to  the  arm  of  the  couch.  ❝  i'm  looking  at  you  since  you're  talking  but  if  it  makes  you  uncomfortable  then  i  can  just  ...  not  ??  ❞  salem  offers,  keeping  his  eyes  on  a  singular  unknown  darkened  stain  on  one  of  the  cream  colored  throw  pillows.  silence  settles  over  the  two  of  them  once  kam  finishes  his  explanation  and  salem  takes  a  moment  to  gather  his  thoughts.  clearly  by  kam's  words  it  was  something  he  wasn't  too  keen  on  sharing,  but  everyone  had  their  own  shit  and  who  was  salem  to  judge  ??  ❝  okay.  ❞  salem  says  simply  before  slowly  shifting  his  gaze  back  over  to  his  friend.  ❝  i  don't  know  too  much  about  narcolepsy  or  cataplexy  so  it's  not  my  place  to  lecture  you.  not  that  i  would  plan  to  either.  do  you  take  your  pills  at  a  certain  time  every  day  ??  have  you  tried  setting  an  alarm  ??  ❞  in  reality,  salem  felt  quite  dumb  for  even  asking  such  a  question  when  the  chance  of  kam  already  have  done  that  was  high.  his  attempt  to  show  that  he  did  care  about  the  other's  wellbeing  probably  just  painted  him  as  an  idiot.  the  fact  that  kam  manages  to  slowly  walk  the  line  of  amusing  and  frustrating  was  beyond  salem,  far  past  his  comprehension  for  the  night  to  look  further  into.  there's  a  slight  downward  twitch  of  his  lips  at  their  kiss  being  brought  up  but  salem  chooses  to  ignore  it  in  favor  of  cracking  his  back.  ❝  for  someone  who  failed  to  kiss  with  tongue  you  have  a  lot  of  opinions.  ❞  he  replies  dryly,  light  humor  lacing  his  words  so  kam  doesn't  misconstrue  his  meaning  again.  ❝  nevertheless,  hop  on  and  i'll  consider  the  terms  to  my  agreement  as  we  go  to  your  place.  ❞  there's  a  brief  pause  and  salem  shrugs.  ❝  besides,  if  you  truly  fucked  up  that  bad  then  i  wouldn't  have  woken  you  up  to  begin  with.  ❞  salem  squats  down  at  an  appropriate  height  for  kam  to  clamber  onto  his  back  from.  it's  difficult  not  to  retaliate  with  his  own  quips  from  what  kam  says  next,  head  turning  to  toss  a  glance  over  his  shoulder  to  the  other  as  chocolate  hues  shine  in  mild  amusement  with  a  cocked  brow.  ❝  dude,  i'm  not  mad.  we'll  have  this  conversation  when  you're  more  coherent  and  not  about  to  pass  out  again.  for  someone  with  supposed  regrets  about  our  kiss,  you  sure  like  bringing  it  up.  something  you  wanna  share  with  the  class,  kam  ??  ❞  the  mention  of  jason  piques  salem's  interest  almost  immediately.  ❝  jason,  huh  ??  since  when  and  how  did  he  become  an  emergency  contact  ??  i'd  hate  it  for  you  since  you'll  get  an  angry  and  incoherent  scotsman  yelling  at  you  over  the  phone  for  calling  him  so  late  on  a  weekday.  that  being  said,  get  situated  'cause  my  thighs  are  starting  to  ache  since  i've  been  focusing  on  arm  day  at  the  gym  the  past  two  weeks.  ❞

[salemisms]

rheemingyu​:

ezra would be lying if he said he wasn’t caught off guard by salem’s response, and he couldn’t deny the warmth that filled his chest and the coy smile that took over his face just from being close to the other. after feeling disoriented for a few seconds, he blinked a few times before tilting his head in wonder. “ were they really? not to worry, though. your personal chauffeur is back and you’ll actually get to see him in the flesh the next time you’re done with your shift. ” the weariness didn’t stop him from slipping another joke, despite its lacklustre presentation causing the bite that often came with his retorts to be absent. “ you really think i’d let you sit in economy alone? what kind of person do you peg me for? between extra legroom and sacrificing it to sit next to you for a few hours, i think the choice is clear. ” though sleepiness still clouded his brain as salem spoke, it was easy for his lips to display a smile and his shoulders to soften. they could bicker and throw retorts at one another to full capacity, but solicitous words and concerns reminds ezra that there was heart in all of it. they care about one another. “ stay the night, then. ” his eyes fixated to meet salem’s gaze while he appealed, “ at least that way i know i’ll get to spend some time in the morning with you. ” his voice was matter of fact as he said it, and a bit more harsh that it should have been. in reality, ezra had no right to be so uncompromising. it’s only selfish of him to retract a previous offer and push another one in such a way that it sounded like a complete ultimatum. who was he to demand so much from someone who he kept claiming to merely be a friend? still, it was what he wanted. ezra felt a tinge of a burn while he waited for some sort of confirmation, even the smallest one would suffice — a short yes, a nod, even a small hum — but harder still was staying silent. he swallows hard and steals one last glance at the older’s face, a soft yet unwavering murmur of a pleading “ please? ” escaping his lips, before dozing off on the comfort of salem’s shoulder. 

perhaps it was the fact that it was 9 a.m. over at the side of the world he was in for the past week, or the deafening honking noises from a neighbouring car after an abrupt stop at an intersection that stirred him awake long before they reached their destination. his body remained consumed by the still-heavy exhaustion, barely managing to open his eyes into a squint. all only to see blinding lights streaming in from the car window, confirming his speculations that they were nowhere near greenwich. ezra found it difficult to fall back asleep, but took the liberty of settling in salem’s company. it felt nice. comfortable. and there was no indication of salem wanting him to move away, and so he lets himself indulge in the pleasure of it. once he felt the car halt to a stop, he wasn’t sure if he was hearing things properly or if his fatigue was causing him to hallucinate. whatever. go take the benefit of the doubt. “ hmm, yeah? ” there was a slight giddiness to his tone as he adjusts his head slightly, and it brings a soft pinkish hue to his cheeks. if things were different, he would bring himself to tease the other. although, something about the moment just felt so natural. as if it was something he wanted to hear again. “ are we already? can’t we stay here for a bit longer? this is nice, ” he coos as his free hand reaches out to wrap around salem’s waist, pulling the other into a tight hug and revelling in it for a few moments before letting go. ezra sat up a little too fast, his hand reaching up to rub his eyes wearily and trying to regain his composure. “ i’m… feeling better, i suppose. yeah. i’m okay. let’s go. no need to worry about the suitcase. i can get it tomorrow or have my brother take it out before he leaves for work. it’s no big deal. don’t strain yourself. ” his head is dipped down as he enters the house, the tiredness weighing over him as he felt a few pairs of eyes staring at him while he drags his feet past the kitchen without a word. a warning is issued once ezra makes it up the staircase, one that he felt obliged to give just to extinguish any concerns his family would have after seeing him at such a listless state. “ no, i’m not hungry. yes, i’m sure. let salem have my share while i go take a shower. see you tomorrow morning. ” it wasn’t like ezra to disregard his family’s presence, especially after being away from them. having to hold a conversation with seven other people at once felt like a chore and the last thing he wanted was to drain his social battery even more. he jerks his bedroom door open and grabs the first pair of house clothes he could find inside his drawer before making his way to the ensuite. the warm water against his skin was enough of a kick to wake him up a bit, though not completely. but it was enough for him to ponder, and eventually acknowledge one thing he has been blind to ( or in fact, deliberately blinding himself to ) all this time — that the fact that there was only one person he wanted to spend the rest of the night with sparked the possibility of his desires being beyond platonic means. the truth was difficult to swallow, but he could admit that his realisations lead to nothing but matters of the heart. though the admissions were only for himself — it was safer to keep everything inside his head. nobody else needs to know. at least for the time being.

       ❝  the  fact  that  you'd  sit  in  economy  for  me  is  humbling.  i'll  do  my  best  to  be  entertaining  company  to  make  up  for  the  cramping  in  your  legs.  ❞  the  ease  of  which  salem  finds  himself  falling  back  into  the  comfortable  back  and  forth  routine  between  him  and  ezra  is  something  that  has  him  wonder  if  it's  less  to  do  with  a  shared  sense  of  humor,  but  more  so  how  they  just  seem  to  understand  one  another.  he's  never  once  found  to  be  so  attuned  to  someone  other  than  himself,  wanting  to  learn  the  hidden  intricacies  and  simple  ways  to  extract  a  smile  or  a  laugh.  yet,  around  ezra,  salem  often  times  would  anticipate  when  he  would  be  able  to  pull  either  from  him.  being  around  another  person  hasn't  ever  felt  this  easy  before.  talking  to  ezra  and  joking  around  with  ezra  was  easy  as  breathing,  experiencing  the  same  simple  relief  that  came  with  an  exhale.  ezra  was  a  breath  of  fresh  air  amongst  the  damp  staleness  that  new  york  city  offered.  he's  has  known  this  since  their  first  interaction.  it's  only  recently  solidified  into  more  delicate  of  a  feeling  and  salem  wants  to  hold  onto  it  with  care,  leaving  no  chance  for  outward  forces  to  impact  it.  such  sentimentality  is  worn  across  his  features,  an  unspoken  fondness  which  softens  his  gaze  as  the  two  lock  eyes  following  ezra's  offer.  it  wasn't  much  of  an  offer  considering  the  younger  seemed  to  be  telling  salem  that  he,  in  fact,  would  be  staying  the  night.  not  that  salem  minded.  when  could  he  ever  say  no  to  ezra  ??  especially  in  a  time  like  now  while  the  younger  pleaded  with  him.  salem's  been  indulging  himself  in  his  childlike  crush  for  too  long,  though  it's  difficult  to  say  no  to  ezra  when  he  looks  as  he  does,  cutely  cuddled  into  salem's  side  with  droopy  eyes  as  sleep  begins  to  win  in  pulling  him  under.  the  fact  that  ezra  wants  to  be  with  him  in  the  morning  makes  his  heart  race.  ❝  i'll  stay  the  night.  ❞  he  murmurs  in  confirmation,  offering  a  gentle  smile  to  his  friend  before  exhaustion  lures  him  into  unconsciousness.        all  the  times  salem  has  told  himself  his  growing  crush  on  ezra  would  ebb  away  like  the  tides  of  coney  island  beach  at  night  prove  to  be  futile  once  he  witnesses  the  beauty  of  ezra  peering  up  at  him  as  sleep  still  clings  to  him.  that's  the  thing,  salem  finds,  perhaps  he  should've  known  from  the  beginning  of  such  feelings  that  he  couldn't  control  them.  like  the  waves  to  the  moon,  there  was  an  ebb  and  flow  to  it  all  which  appeared  out  of  his  control.  how  he  felt  toward  ezra  was  a  steady  current,  starting  small  and  gaining  momentum  to  where  he  was  now  —  in  the  presence  of  a  beautiful  boy  who's  in  his  arms  where  salem  desires  nothing  more  than  to  be  able  to  lean  down  and  claim  ezra's  lips  with  his  own.  that  thought  alone  settles  deep  in  his  gut,  clawing  at  his  heart  with  pitiful  longing  to  make  his  affections  known.  of  course,  he  can  never  act  on  it  for  fear  of  ever  putting  ezra  in  that  situation  and  ruining  the  complex  delicacy  of  their  friendship.  instead,  salem  will  only  watch  on  in  unfiltered  fondness  and  take  whatever  scraps  ezra  offers.  ❝  you  say  that  now;  just  wait  until  you're  in  your  own  bed.  ❞  salem  answers,  tone  light  and  paired  with  a  chuckle  despite  the  painful  swell  of  his  heart  as  ezra's  hand  settles  on  his  waist  and  pulls  him  in  for  a  hug.  salem  said  he'll  take  what  ezra  will  offer,  but  the  domesticity  of  this  moment  shows  a  glance  into  the  realm  of  it  would  be  like  to  call  the  younger  his  own  and  it's  almost  taunting.  salem's  next  breath  rattles  through  his  chest,  hardly  reassuring  and  ghastly  as  it  sends  an  arrhythmic  wave  of  goosebumps  along  his  arms  despite  the  heat  of  the  car.  any  words  salem  strings  together  in  his  mind  to  reply  with  can't  seem  to  be  vocalized,  an  irrational  fear  of  making  his  affections  known  overcoming  him  as  the  exit  the  car.  salem  chooses  to  nod  in  silent  agreement.  he  trails  close  behind  the  younger,  his  fingers  itching  to  reach  out  to  intertwine  like  they  had  been  at  the  airport  but  facing  the  extended  rhee  family  keeps  them  stilled  by  his  side.  there's  been  multiple  occasions  where  salem  has  met  ezra's  family,  gotten  along  with  his  sisters  and  mother  in  casual  conversation,  yet  this  somehow  seems  more  invasive.  like  salem  is  intruding  on  a  personal  family  moment  now  that  their  only  son  and  brother  has  returned  after  having  been  a  week  away.  and  here  salem  is  hoarding  up  time  spent  with  ezra.  it's  to  be  expected  that  the  other  wants  nothing  more  than  to  retreat  to  his  bedroom  after  a  grueling  flight,  though  salem  wasn't  imagining  himself  to  be  standing  in  the  entryway  of  the  rhee  estate  with  ezra  immediately  climbing  the  stares  with  few  departing  words  before  disappearing  into  the  vastness  of  the  house.  his  familiarity  with  the  rest  of  ezra's  family  seems  minuscule  as  their  gazes  turn  to  him  and  he  offers  a  small  smile  with  his  greeting.  it's  safe  to  assume  that  ezra's  gone  up  to  shower  or  unwind,  a  personal  time  that  salem  doesn't  wish  to  impose  himself  on,  so  he  accepts  ezra's  mother's  suggestion  of  dinner  and  follows  them  into  the  kitchen.  the  last  time  he  was  in  the  kitchen  splays  across  the  forefront  of  his  mind  —  ezra  and  his  brief  argument  that  morphed  into  an  oddly  intimate  moment  where  salem  remembers  peering  up  at  the  younger  as  the  younger  cupped  his  chin  and  whatever  he  was  about  to  say  having  been  cut  off  by  the  hiss  of  the  food  on  the  stove.  red  splotches  across  his  cheeks  and  salem  accepts  a  small  portion  of  what  was  made,  answering  the  questions  addressed  to  him  by  faith  and  hope.  even  with  how  many  times  he  visits  ezra  in  connecticut and  his  family  by  default,  he  can't  help  but  always  feel  ridiculously  underdressed.  by  the  time  his  plate  his  empty  and  he  places  it  in  the  dishwasher,  it  feels  like  time  stretched  on  and  salem  excuses  himself  to  follow  up  the  way  ezra  had.  he  slips  off  his  converse  on  the  entryway  carpet,  holding  them  up  by  the  backs  as  he  ascends  the  stairs  and  follows  the  familiar  route  into  ezra's  room.  salem  places  his  shoes  by  the  door,  ears  straining  as  he  hears  the  shower  running  in  the  ensuite  and  he  wonders  what  the  do.  he  didn't  seem  to  fully  think  through  how  the  night  would  unravel,  not  having  brought  a  change  of  clothes  to  sleep  in  or  even  a  toothbrush.  chocolate  hues  take  in  the  modernity  of  the  bedroom  despite  how  many  time  he's  been  inside  and  salem  finds  himself  unsure  of  what  to  do.  he  isn't  one  to  allow  exterior  clothes  onto  his  bed,  though  he  isn't  sure  where  ezra's  stance  is  and  sitting  in  one  of  the  chairs  by  the  window  seems  awkward.  slowly,  salem  sits  at  the  edge  of  the  bed,  bringing  his  legs  up  to  cross  and  ignoring  the  discomfort  from  his  jeans  despite  the  slight  leniency  given  from  the  distressed  holes  in  the  knees.  goosebumps  rush  across  his  arms  from  the  chill  of  the  air  condition.  salem  figures  it's  best  to  pass  time  until  ezra's  return  by  texting  his  roommate  of  his  location  and  plans  for  the  night,  head  bowed  and  disheveled  pink  strands  falling  into  his  field  of  vision  as  he  types  out  his  message.

[salemisms]

ljsungs​:

“ Stage a mutiny? Oh please. They wouldn’t even try. They know better. I’d lay some bullshit quiz on them the next day. ”   There’s a laugh as Jason lets a shit-eating grin appear on his features, coffee cup near his lips. He waits a moment to then sip, the smile still staying even as its lowered again when he’s finished. He’s about to look away in absence before Salem begins to nearly choke, and for a brief moment Jason stares at the other with a large sense of concern. That is, until Jason realizes why Salem is choking – and goodness, Jason can’t help himself. Call him a dick, but Jason lets a hand fly up to his mouth to stifle the tumbling of laughter spilling from his lips, eyes crinkling upwards in amusement as he looks at his friend. This was too fucking funny. Did Salem really – ?? Were Jason’s jokes not that obvious ?? Jason was definitely going to remember this moment somewhere down the line in their friendship. Maybe at a wedding – ah. He was getting ahead of himself. Enough of that. A hand reaches out to pat Salem on the back, feeling just the slightest bit of pity ( but not enough to make the elder apologize for his stupid joking, if he’s honest ).   “ My guy. Mate. Salem. I know you aren’t trying to sleep with me, and I am well aware there’s nothing of that sort between us. I don’t want to fuck you either. A little offended you think fucking me would be like fucking a tree though, but. I disregard that to say you know exactly what I mean when I say your dick is reserved… do you seriously not know what I’m talking about? I don’t exactly want to spell it out. ”   Jason pats Salem one last time before nodding, watching at the other composes himself. He wants to offer a tissue, but Salem’s already wiped his face clean by the time Jason thinks of doing such. Figuring it would be a lost cause to offer now, Jason leans over to set his coffee cup on a coaster on his table then scoots even closer to his friend, shifting himself to sit sideways on the sofa with his arm bent over the back of the sofa and head propped against his hand. He’s silent for a few moments after Salem speaks, his gaze studying his friend as he determines the right bundle of words to say; matters were much more important than a tissue now, unless Salem might need one later – anyways. It’s with a small sigh that Jason finally opens his mouth to talk, accompanied after by the tiniest shake of his head.   “ Salem, I do love you, but you are a fucking idiot. I’m really gonna have to spell it out for you, don’t I? You’ll be able to tolerate a week with Ezra at a beach getaway, because you’d take that week off and pack your back in less than an hour. Why? I think we both know why. I really don’t want to say it. ”

       ❝  if  it's  a  successful  mutiny  then  there  would  be  no  test  the  next  day.  hence  the  mutiny.  ❞  salem  replies  back,  though  it  lacks  the  usual  playfulness  that  his  quips  have.  mainly  due  to  the  fact  that  his  throat  is  currently  on  fucking  fire  from  his  coughing  fit  with  the  bitter  acidic  taste  crawling  back  up.  ❝  i'm  fine,  thanks  for  asking  by  the  way.  ❞  he  snarks,  voice  more  on  the  raspy  side  after  his  prolonged  coughing  but  that  doesn't  mean  he  won't  side  eye  the  fuck  out  of  jason  for  choosing  laughter  over  helping  him.  while,  yeah,  salem  could  see  why  the  elder  would  be  laughing  in  this  situation,  he  already  feels  as  though  there's  an  unbecoming  transparency  of  what  jason  picks  up  on  that  salem  is  so  desperately  trying  to  push  away  into  a  mental  closet  and  never  to  open  again.  chocolate  hues  settle  briefly  on  the  coffee  in  his  hands  before  leaning  down  to  place  it  on  the  coffee  table.  better  away  for  now  to  prevent  any  more  choking  from  whatever  the  fuck  jason  says  next.  the    hand  on  his  back,  while  done  in  reassurance,  only  weighs  down  on  salem  and  his  shoulders  visibly  sag.  he  understands  what  jason  is  insinuating  but  it's  easier  to  keep  such  feelings  toward  ezra  unspoken.  when  they're  unspoken  and  only  roaming  in  his  mind  then  that  makes  them  less  real.  like  they're  not  something  physical  that  he  has  to  address.  it's  from  that  mindset  that  salem  swallows  back  the  acidic  taste  in  his  mouth  along  with  his  vulnerability.  ❝  what  do  you  mean  you  don't  want  to  fuck  me  ??  are  you  saying  you  think  i'm  not  fuckable  ??  i'll  have  you  know  i'm  quite  the  catch.  you  should've  seen  me  during  undergraduate.  ❞  salem  hears  himself  reply  in  a  melodramatic  huff  and  a  downturned  pout  that  reminded  him  of  himself  months  ago  —  way  before  he  got  entangled  in  sentimentality  and  spent  time  waxing  poetics  in  his  notebooks  about  ezra's  dimpled  smile  and  other  bullshit.  life  was  so  much  easier  when  he  just  slept  around  without  a  care.  even  if  it  took  more  of  a  toll  on  his  self  confidence  rather  than  his  preferred  result  of  boasting  it.  yeah,  being  desired  and  wanted  was  nice,  but  now  as  he  thinks  back  to  many  nameless  faces  and  beds  he's  been  in,  there's  a  hollowness  digging  deep  in  his  chest  when  he  considers  that  as  his  future.  what  salem  wants  is  to  be  desired  by  ezra.  it's  a  selfish  thought,  one  he  ignores  and  chooses  to  no  longer  entertain  otherwise  he  knows  he'll  wind  up  fucking  things  up  just  like  he  does  in  previous  friendships.  the  second  pat  to  his  back  has  salem  recoil  from  the  touch.  he  retreats  into  the  corner  of  the  couch  and  hugs  his  legs  to  his  chest.  ❝  fuck  off,  you're  annoying.  my  dick  is  reserved  for  no  one.  unless  you're  offering  then  shut  up  and  drop  it.  ❞  salem  snaps,  chocolate  hues  narrowing  and  jaw  tense  as  he  diverts  his  gaze  away  from  jason  and  to  some  unknown  point  in  the  wall  in  front  of  him.  it  doesn't  feel  good  to  snap  at  jason  like  he  did.  he  feels  like  a  fucking  raging  asshole  about  it.  but  if  jason  is  this  aware  of  salem's  embarrassing  crush  on  ezra  then  how  fucking  obvious  is  he  to  everyone  else  ??  is  it  obvious  to  ezra  ??  his  mouth  is  already  dry  from  the  burn  of  the  hot  coffee  he  choked  on  but  this  possibility  has  it  feel  like  cotton.  his  heart  picks  up  at  the  idea  of  ezra  being  aware  of  how  he  feels  and  the  pity  ezra  must  hold  for  him  because  of  it.  jason's  movements  catch  in  his  peripheral  vision  and  from  there  salem  watches  the  shift  in  his  posture  to  face  him.  salem  suddenly  is  overwhelmed  with  the  feeling  of  being  watched.  he  swallows  before  letting  out  a  sigh.  ❝  i'm  sorry.  ❞  salem  mumbles  out,  any  anger  deflating  out  of  him  from  what  jason  says  next.  so  he  is  obvious.  he  is  a  fucking  idiot  who  wears  his  heart  on  his  sleeve  despite  his  best  efforts  to  keep  it  at  bay.  ❝  i  don't  want  to  say  it  because  then  it'll  be  real.  it'll  be  real  and  then  i'll  have  to  deal  with  it.  it's  better  unspoken.  otherwise  i  fuck  everything  up  and  he's  not  in  my  life  anymore  and  i  lose  my  best  friend.  ❞  salem  admits  in  soft  yet  tired  tone,  his  chin  rests  atop  his  knees  and  he  brings  up  the  palms  of  his  hands  to  dig  into  his  eyes  with  a  long  exhale.  ❝  no  offense.  ❞  he  tacks  on  in  an  attempt  to  lighten  the  mood  with  a  joke.

[salemisms]

inkamtatum​:

there’s some truth to the saying that states how impossible it is to live a positive life while being in possession of a negative mind, perhaps he’s at fault for not being reminded of the power behind its meaning frequently enough to lift his mood. if anything, at random times he has to remember those words were often recited to him as he was drifting off to dreamland while he could actually be held by his adoptive mother when he was younger & he was on the verge of tears due to exhaustion, hence the negativity being present in his day to day life. as embarrassing as it is to admit it out loud, he misses being in her arms when he finds it hard to go through one full night of full sleep & living alone only makes it worse by granting him very few hours of actual slumber, while this is intensified by the stress he puts himself through after taking two different jobs & juggling work along with his social life as best as possible. it’s harder that he would’ve imagined to keep up with his friends & somehow still avoid thinking of what happened between him & a former one ( is he really not his friend anymore ? ) weeks ago. was he to put actual thought into the stressful factors that overwhelm him at night, this is one of the major ones to bring a burden unloaded on top of his shoulders & complicating the already fucked up stages of sleep that he puts himself through after closing his eyes. it’s been a whole month of exhaustion slowly piling up on his desk of life, like endless masses of paperwork around him, but what made the previous night worse was realizing that he was to share a shift with that person. not that he’s inherently a bad guy, but every time he’ll get to stare back at him, he will feel guilty for doing something that might’ve both fuck up his possible friendship with him & successfully hurt ezra indirectly. a perfect 2x1 because of silly experimentation, losing two in one !! nevertheless, he attempts to complete his shift & he’s grateful to have the next day off to sleep as much as his body will allow him to, that is what he thinks of every time he turns around to hide his face from potential customers to prevent them from noticing this is the twentieth time he yawns into his hand. how much longer does he have to go through before he can go home ? thankfully this is what keeps bothering him ( & not salem’s presence in the same building ) as minutes are dragged to become hours, but he never once allows his smile to fade away as this could easily hand him out a better earning in tips. kam hangs his head when he finally meets the mark that limits his time of torture & once he’s over with his terrible habit of counting the total amount earned in tips for the night, he forces himself to go back to the break room to gather his items & literally flee the bar without saying goodbye to anyone. its warmth is inviting though & he considers that maybe sitting down to relax on the couch isn’t too much of a bad idea when he’s literally moved within a confined space from left to right in order to serve drinks & successfully avoid salem. it hadn’t been his fault, right ? what happened that day… it’s the last thing he can recall thinking of before he fully melts onto the seats of the couch & he finds himself safely asleep within seconds. not a single aspect of this session of sleep would mark any difference from any of his previous ones, bringing him to furrow his brows as his slow breathing mantains him fully dormant, so it’s expected for him to have his muscles twitching every now & then, as his rem cycle shifts invariably from on to off. although it’s the soft voice of another male the one to fully summon him out of slumber, not without experiencing whatever happens to his mind when he’s woken up abruptly by stress & someone else who doesn’t mind his business. kam’s eyes are widely opened within seconds & he gasps for air dramatically as he holds his hand out to keep away whatever dark figure was standing right before him. it’s not uncommon for him to be blinded by his mind still deeply lost in sleep for a couple of seconds, causing him only to see shadows, black figures & darkness, even when surrounded by bright lights, however this time it’s different when the shape he’s hold his hand out to keep away from him is actually solid & real. ❝ god damnit !! what the fuck are you doing, salem ? ❞ he yells after startling & jumping high enough to reach the other end of the couch, recognizing salem’s puzzled expression way too late to prevent the embarrassment that he’s put himself through, especially after touching his face & pushing him lightly away from his own. ❝ you can’t trust an uber driver to be kind enough not to take advantage of someone who can easily fall asleep & be left abandoned god knows where. ❞ kam attempts to rub his eyes to snap himself out of the exhaustion that keeps being soothed by the comfort in this room, but as he drops his hands to both of his sides & he is under the impression to go on with his thinking, his body produces a loud noise when it collapses on the couch one more time. had one person kept a chronometer counting seconds away from that very moment, it would’ve been noticed that he’d fallen asleep for five full seconds up to the moment where he wakes up one more time in a startled manner & looks around him briefly, only to melt into the back of the couch to sleep for four more seconds. it is then that he groans louder than he probably should’ve & begins to shake his head, arms & give harsh smacks to his cheeks. ❝ what are you staring at, salem ? ❞ the passive aggressive attitude is intact despite the awkward scene that he’s performing right before the other & he turns his gaze away from him to try to recollect his thoughts & remember where the fuck he is. ❝ what time is it ? i start my shift later than usual today. are you off already ? i thought we were to share today’s shift… maybe i’m just confused. ❞

       while  salem  was  anticipating  a  mild  reaction  out  of  kam  once  he  was  broken  out  of  his  sleep,  he  didn't  think  it  would  involve  being  yelled  at  and  a  shove  at  his  face.  for  being  on  the  brink  of  consciousness,  the  push  lacked  much  strength  but  that  didn't  mean  salem  was  expecting  it,  having  him  stumble  slightly  on  the  balls  of  his  feet  and  grab  onto  the  arm  of  the  couch  to  center  his  gravity.  again  —  last  time  he's  doing  something  nice  if  he's  just  gonna  get  yelled  at.  ❝  what  the  fuck  am  i  doing  ??  i'm  waking  you  up.  i  don't  know  how  long  you've  been  passed  out  here  but  i  just  got  off  my  shift  and  i  doubt  this  old  piece  of  shit  is  more  comfortable  than  your  own  bed.  ❞  salem  defended  with  a  huff  and  slight  downward  pull  to  his  lips.  maybe  the  situation  would  be  different  if  salem  knew  exactly  where  he  stood  with  kam.  avoidance  seemed  like  the  natural  progression  of  things  since  their  kiss  and  quite  thankfully,  their  schedules  haven't  seemed  to  align  yet  for  interaction  so  they  can  discuss  whatever  happened.  there  was  the  option  of  grabbing  his  shit  from  the  break  room  and  slipping  out  without  attempting  to  wake  up  the  other.  though  said  option  would've  undoubtedly  ate  away  at  him  from  leaving  his  friend  (  were  they  still  considering  one  another  friends  ??  )  passed  out  on  a  work  couch  when  there  were  other  questionable  workers  that  would've  be  as  benevolent  as  salem.  ❝  hence  why  i  would  be  going  with  you.  i'm  not  an  asshole,  kam;  i  wouldn't  leave  you  alone  with  a  stranger  when  you  look  ready  to  fall  back  asleep  at  any  given  moment.  ❞  he  replies,  still  somewhat  indignant  at  kam's  insinuation  of  salem  throwing  him  at  the  nearest  uber  driver  and  calling  it  a  night.  his  words  are  soon  solidified  as  he  watches  the  other  be  lulled  into  sleep  a  few  more  times.  concern  begins  to  simmer  under  his  skin.  whether  it's  misplaced  or  not  due  the  question  mark  status  of  their  friendship  can  be  damned  since  kam  clearly  needs  him  and  is  in  no  place  to  be  making  the  trek  back  to  his  apartment  by  himself.  even  if  salem  doesn't  know  where  they  currently  stand  post  kiss,  their  relationship  is  important  and  he  doesn't  want  to  dig  any  deeper  holes  that  make  it  difficult  to  move  past  from.  salem's  expression  remains  neutral  as  he  watches  kam  struggle  to  hold  onto  consciousness  with  a  shake  of  his  head  and  a  few  slaps  to  his  cheeks.  he  must  be  exhausted  if  that's  the  case.  even  so,  the  hostile  tone  the  other  directs  at  him  next  isn't  one  that  fazes  salem.  ❝  i'm  staring  at  you.  ❞  his  response  is  forthright  as  he  sees  no  reason  to  offer  anything  other  than  honesty  in  the  situation.  there's  nothing  to  gain  by  lying  to  kam.  salem  remains  still  in  his  position  despite  the  ache  in  his  legs  from  being  on  his  feet  for  the  past  few  hours.  his  only  movement  is  to  turn  his  head  to  glance  at  the  wall  clock  following  kam's  questions.  ❝  it's  just  about  to  be  midnight.  not  sure  what  your  shift  was  since  i  only  really  check  the  schedule  for  my  hours.  ❞  there's  a  pause.  now  that's  a  little  bit  of  a  lie.  salem  knew  kam  would  be  working  today  since  he's  been  checking  both  their  hours  to  see  if  they  had  overlap.  though,  specific  hours  were  unknown.  ❝  if  both  our  shifts  are  done  then  come  on.  i'm  taking  you  home  and  i'm  not  giving  your  ass  a  piggy  back  ride  so  up  and  at  'em.  ❞  salem  adds  and  stands,  ignoring  the  protest  in  his  knees  as  he  pulls  out  his  phone  to  order  them  an  uber.  ❝  unless  you'd  rather  walk.  how  far  away  do  you  live  from  here  ??  ❞  chocolate  hues  blink  over  to  kam,  fingers  hovering  over  his  phone  screen  to  hear  the  other's  answer  before  he  would  press  down  to  confirm  the  ride.

[salemisms]

rheemingyu​:

a pout forms on his lips, albeit being a playful one, and he lets go of salem’s fingers to cross his arms in faux disappointment. “ hey, don’t pity me. but i’ll take what i can get, even if it’s for only one night. i find that rather stingy, though, only sparing that much time out of your schedule for someone you call a best friend every so often. ” though the weak attempt at making distance proves to be a failure when he reaches back out for salem’s hand, seeking consolation at the familiarity creeping up his fingertips. it’s not like ezra is nervous. because he isn’t. saying that he’s nervous at the mere prospect of salem teasing him? wait a second, was salem flirting with him? no, there’s no way. ezra had visited the bar often enough to know what salem was like with his regulars, exchanging sweet talk and ardent gazes as if it doesn’t mean anything. it’s pure bullshit that ezra’s dwelling over something so minuscule, because this instance felt exactly like it. it shouldn’t mean anything. it’s not supposed to mean anything. not the heat that he suddenly felt rush through his reddening ears, nor the swelling in his chest. because salem’s just a friend, isn’t he? anchoring himself back to reality, ezra breathes out a short chuckle and nods. “ maybe. don’t let it get into your head, though. i’m clearly the hotter one between the two of us. ” he returns the nudge back at the older boy, his smile remains to grace his lips as they continued walking towards the waiting bay.

salem’s presence still shocks him, and ezra keeps finding the need to remind himself that his friend really is there. all for him. “ well, if that’s the case then it’s my pleasure to be back, ” he says plainly, pausing for a moment. “ but yeah. same goes, i guess. sitting by the beach and going on temple tours ended up feeling redundant after the third day. is it weird that i was looking forward more to your calls than anything else? maybe solo trips just aren’t my thing, ” through mumbled words ezra agrees calmly, whatever thoughts that emerged inside his mind seemed to be making its way out his lips. there was no regret, though. it isn’t a crime to miss your best friend after being away for so long. what he wasn’t expecting was the warm feeling of salem’s hand on his cheek, his attention that was previously elsewhere was quickly seized by the older boy when his gaze drifts over and meets the other’s. “ i’m fine. i told you, i’ll be alright. ” ezra sighs heavily, closing his eyes briefly and trying to relax into salem’s touch. his exhale is shaky, drained by the effort of trying to hold himself together in front of his friend. no matter how hard salem tried to reassure him, there remained a lump in his throat he found difficult to swallow. how greedy of ezra to keep salem around when he was on the verge of dozing off, unable to reciprocate the undivided attention given to him by his friend. “ you came all the way here to see me. i can’t just ignore you for the rest of the ride home. ” though the wall that he’s built shatters at the following offer. “ only because you asked. and it’s comfortable, ” he eventually gives in, inching even closer towards salem and looping his arm around the other’s. without much hesitance, he rested his head on salem’s shoulder and curled his body up. it was all a feeling too familiar — one that he hasn’t felt in a while, but it was good to know that it was something he could come back to. ezra stops trying to fight the weight of his eyelids and closes his eyes, his thumb drawing circles on the other’s forearm. and before he knew it, he was falling asleep.

       salem's  laugh  in  response  is  a  fond  one,  melodic  and  breathy  in  tone  as  he  reaches  out  to  establish  contact  with  ezra  once  again  when  he  pulls  away.  he's  reveling  in  the  physical  contact  between  them  and  perhaps  if  he  had  more  self  control  then  salem  would  consider  his  movements  before  acting  on  them.  around  ezra  he  just  does  —  acting  on  instinct  because  he  found  himself  too  enraptured  by  the  boy  in  front  of  him  to  do  anything  else.  salem  knew  the  beating  of  his  heart  from  the  pout  on  ezra's  features  only  further  solidified  his  suspicions  on  where  he  stood  with  issues  of  the  heart.  it  was  getting  difficult  to  label  his  intentions  as  purely  platonic  when  the  pull  in  his  chest  yearned  for  something  more.  his  heartstrings  were  unravelling  and  salem  needed  to  cut  them  short  before  they  entangled  into  a  mess  of  knots.  maybe  tonight  he  could  indulge  himself.  nimble  fingers  ghost  ezra's  arm  before  they're  intwined  with  his  once  again.  salem's  heart  soars.  he  swallows  down  the  implications  and  let's  himself  be.  ❝  all  i'm  hearing  is  you  think  i'm  hot.  it's  okay  even  if  you  deny  it  since  you  still  end  up  in  my  bed  at  the  end  of  the  night  anyway.  ❞  the  words  are  out  before  his  mind  can  toss  it  into  the  reject  pile  of  responses.  salem  bites  down  on  his  tongue,  tasting  blood  as  he  curses  at  himself  for  falling  into  the  familiar  pattern  of  flirtation  that  serves  him  well  at  work,  but  does  hardly  any  favors  in  keeping  his  feelings  away  from  ezra's  inspection.  he  flounders  with  an  awkward  laugh  in  an  attempt  to  back  peddle.  ❝  cuddling,  i  mean.  besides,  i  see  you  most  nights  after  work  anyway.  my  apartment  is  just  as  much  yours  as  it  is  mine  now.  ❞  he  says  in  reference  to  ezra's  earlier  statement.

       the  witty  back  and  forth  the  two  of  them  hold  is  something  salem  holds  close  to  his  chest,  hoping  that's  what  ezra  chalks  up  his  sudden  flirtatious  behavior  to.  even  salem  is  unsure  of  where  it's  coming  from  —  he  wants  to  push  these  simmering  emotions  under  the  rug  to  be  forgotten  about  in  weeks  to  come,  yet  somehow  his  brain  to  mouth  filter  is  turned  off.  the  taste  of  copper  floods  his  tastebuds.  salem  swallows  it  down  with  his  feelings.  an  expression  of  nonchalance  is  one  he  wills  across  his  visage  in  response  to  his  own  dumbass  flirting  and  whatever  comment  he's  about  to  say  next  evaporates  on  the  tip  of  his  tongue.  the  prospect  of  ezra  finding  more  enjoyment  in  their  calls  than  his  luxurious  beach  getaway  stirs  something  in  salem.  his  heart  sings  in  optimism  while  his  brain  rationalizes  it's  simply  ezra  speaking  from  as  a  best  friend.  even  so,  he  finds  himself  holding  onto  scraps.  ❝  i  ...  ❞  salem  pauses.  chocolate  hues  blink  down  to  his  lap  in  hesitance  before  slowly  diverting  back  to  ezra,  an  almost  bashful  smile  curling  at  the  edges  of  his  mouth.  ❝  your  calls  were  definitely  a  light  at  the  end  of  the  tunnel  for  some  of  my  shifts.  hearing  your  voice  helped  me  wind  down.  ❞  an  admission  too  sentimental  that  salem  quickly  counters  with  something  more  nonchalant.  ❝  not  to  mention  i  have  some  saved  jetblue  points  to  use  so  while  i  can't  afford  to  sit  next  to  you,  i  can  at  least  go  wherever  in  economy.  ❞  the  moment  salem's  hand  is  warm  against  ezra's  cheek  and  the  two  lock  gazes,  his  breath  stills  and  he  wonders  if  he's  taken  a  step  too  far.  if  ezra  will  swat  his  hand  away  and  chide  him  for  his  worrying.  ❝  yeah,  you  say  that  but  you  wear  exhaustion  like  a  second  skin.  ❞  salem  murmurs,  tone  gentle  as  chocolate  hues  soften  when  he  sees  the  younger  visibly  relax  into  his  touch.  the  warmness  in  his  chest  spreads  to  his  fingers,  tingling  from  the  touch.  what  he  says  next  salem  only  offers  a  light  hum  in  response,  brushing  his  thumb  against  the  puffiness  of  the  other's  under  eye  one  last  time.  ❝  i  came  all  the  way  here  to  surprise  you.  which  i've  done  so  you  can  rest  up  without  worrying  about  me.  if  you're  feeling  more  awake  when  we  get  to  your  place  then  we  can  hang  out.  or  even  if  that's  not  the  case  then  i'm  just  happy  to  have  seen  you  when  you  got  back.  ❞  salem  answers  truthfully  and  removes  his  hand  from  the  younger's  cheek.  in  a  moment  of  hesitation,  he  soon  pushes  a  stray  strand  of  the  dyed  pink  strands  out  of  ezra's  gaze.  fondness  settles  deep  in  his  chest  once  ezra  agrees  to  salem's  offer  and  he  settles  into  his  position.  it  feels  nice  being  able  to  do  this  for  the  other  when  clearly  travel  has  taken  its  toll.  like  he  said,  even  if  exhaustion  still  weighs  his  friend  down  then  salem  won't  push  for  anything  more;  already  content  with  surprising  ezra  at  the  airport  and  offering  some  form  of  comfort  on  the  ride  back  to  connecticut.  ❝  sleep  well.  ❞  salem  whispers  as  he  gently  leans  his  head  against  ezra's.  the  knowing  gaze  from  the  the  rhee  family  driver  in  the  mirror  paints  his  cheeks  crimson  and  salem  looks  down  at  his  lap  which  doesn't  help  ease  his  embarrassment  when  all  he  sees  is  their  arms  linked.  time  seems  to  blur  into  an  unknown  linear  concept  as  salem  himself  starts  to  doze  off,  coming  in  and  out  of  consciousness  every  so  often  with  a  sharper  than  usual  stop  or  the  quiet  hum  of  the  acoustic  station  ezra's  driver  is  listening  to.  the  next  time  he  opens  his  eyes  he's  met  with  the  gate  opening,  slowly  revealing  the  grandiose  nature  of  the  rhee  mansion  as  his  gaze  settles.  the  warmness  he  felt  previously  from  the  younger's  close  proximity  is  now  having  him  feel  overheated  despite  his  lack  of  desire  to  separate.  but  salem  knows  he  can't  indulge  his  selfishness  now  that  ezra's  family  is  inside  and  anticipating  his  return.  sleep  continues  to  cling  to  salem,  warm  and  smooth  like  toffee  as  his  limbs  are  weighed  down  in  his  movements  to  rub  his  eyes.  ❝  babe.  ❞  salem  murmurs,  the  term  of  endearment  slipping  past  his  lips  without  detection  in  his  own  exhaustion.  ❝  ezra,  wake  up.  we're  home.  ❞  he  adds  and  keeps  his  tone  gentle  as  he  blinks,  getting  further  pulled  into  the  world  of  consciousness.  head  still  rested  against  the  younger,  he  glances  down  and  shakes  his  shoulder  lightly.  his  free  hand  squeezes  ezra's  which  is  wrapped  around  his  arm  in  another  attempt  to  wake  the  other.  he  momentarily  stills  once  ezra  stirs.  ❝  your  back  is  gonna  hurt  if  we  stay  in  the  car  all  night.  your  family  wants  to  see  you,  come  on.  you  can  head  in  and  i'll  get  your  bag  out  of  the  trunk.  how  are  you  feeling  ??  ❞

[salemisms]

rheemingyu​:

the bustling crowd behind them overwhelms ezra, but the momentary warmth from being in his best friend’s embrace manages to calm him down. “ you really didn’t have to do all this. thanks, though. it’s really nice to see you again. ” though at the older’s next words, he closely watches salem’s expression and notes the sudden change, shaking his head in reassurance. “ no, no. of course i want you to come over. i wouldn’t have asked if i didn’t. ” the small smile that makes its way onto ezra’s lips is easily placed, barely an effort as he gently swung their hands, peering over to steal a quick glance at salem’s face. “ it’s fine. i’m quite well rested. i had a pretty decent sleep, actually. pretty sure i slept through most of the flight. we have those reclining business class seats and comfy leg rests to thank. perfect for people with sasquatch limbs like me. ” the puffiness under his eyes and the paleness of his skin were enough to disprove his statement. it was a white lie, but a lie nonetheless. the adamance in his tone was obvious but it subsides as he concludes his words with a laugh, hoping to have masked the far from slight dishonesty from the older boy. however, ezra knew for a fact that if anything, he was stubborn. it was a trait that had been ingrained into him growing up ( along with the silver spoon and all ) and anyone who had crossed paths with him knew that when ezra rhee had his mind set on something, there was no use of trying to defy it. his desire to spend the rest of his night with salem was stemmed from his own selfishness, and while it meant sacrificing a few hours of sleep and fighting against the weight of his droopy eyelids, it was still well worth it. a few hours to compensate for an entire week sounded like a pretty good deal. 

“ are you sure that you have time in your busy schedule to spare for me now that the semester’s started? what about your regulars at the bar? who else would they desperately give their tips and numbers to? ” ezra teases, a giggle slipping past his lips without inhibition. easing back into their jabs became nothing more than a routine for him, and despite the exhaustion that waved through his body, he found it as smooth as it always is to throw retorts back at the older boy. “ i’ll take casper. i actually kinda like it more than pillsbury dough boy. but what does that make you, then? casper’s little devil friend? i reckon that suits you. ” his eyes crinkled at his own retort and the dimples in his cheeks began to appear, turning his head to meet salem’s tender gaze with adoration glowing in his eyes. ezra was met with relief once he saw his seven-seater along with his family’s seater by the waiting bay — precisely how his sister had mentioned. he lets go of salem’s hand and walks over with his suitcase, lifting it into the trunk and slamming down the lid afterwards. “ after you. ” he gestured into the car, smiling over at salem. ezra then walks over to the other side, opens the door and slid comfortably into the passenger seat. a steady grin crept across his face after buckling his seatbelt, his hand reaching out for salem’s leg and giving it a gentle shake. “ so, what have i missed? anything that’s happened this past week that i should be aware of? ”

       perhaps  salem  should  find  it  troubling  just  how  quickly  his  mood  transitioned  from  a  mess  of  nerves  to  a  steady  calm  now  that  he  was  in  the  presence  of  his  best  friend  again.  he's  always  enjoyed  his  time  spent  with  ezra  and  in  his  absence,  salem  is  realizing  just  how  much  he  values  being  around  the  other.  it's  hard  to  ignore  such  a  feeling  when  there's  a  warmness  taking  root  in  his  chest  and  spreading  from  the  mere  action  of  having  ezra's  hand  in  his.  salem  couldn't  help  but  feel  like  a  sunflower  and  ezra  the  sun,  turning  in  the  direction  of  his  warmth  wherever  he  may  be.  the  implications  are  hard  to  ignore  of  what  this  meant  —  a  sudden  dryness  in  his  throat  holding  back  words  he'd  vocalize  if  he  had  the  confidence  to  do  so.  instead,  salem  knows  that  whether  it  be  tonight  or  in  the  morning,  those  unspoken  thoughts  will  be  written  down  in  his  notebook  as  he  succumbs  to  the  cliche  writer  type  he  was  destined  to  become  at  some  point.  ❝  i  know  but  i  wanted  to.  ❞  salem  answered  in  earnest,  eyes  shining  as  his  sole  focus  stayed  on  ezra  while  they  walked  toward  the  rhee  family  car.  ezra's  words  regarding  his  rest  fail  to  reassure  salem,  well  aware  of  how  exhausted  the  younger  looks  but  still  proving  to  just  be  as  handsome  as  ever.  his  ears  burn  at  the  thought  and  he  merely  nods  his  head  with  a  small  chuckle  at  the  sasquatch  comment.  the  last  thing  he  wanted  was  to  pester  ezra  with  his  worrying  when  he  already  pushed  past  salem's  concerns.  even  with  the  chaos  of  the  airport  around  them,  nothing  caught  his  attention  more  than  the  younger.  

       salem  hummed  in  reply  to  ezra's  teasing,  chocolate  hues  shine  in  amusement  as  he  rubbed  his  thumb  light  across  the  expanse  of  skin  on  the  other's  hand.  ❝  are  you  worried  you  won't  get  to  see  me  as  much  ??  don't  worry,  i'll  always  make  time  for  you.  my  regulars  can  suffer  without  me  for  a  night  —  i'm  with  someone  more  important  than  them  who  already  has  my  number.  ❞  salem  quipped  easily  in  response,  bumping  his  shoulder  lightly  against  ezra's  and  feeling  the  amusement  in  him  swell  at  his  next  comment.  ❝  both  are  fitting  for  you.  but  casper's  devil  friend,  you  say  ??  you  mean  hot  stuff  the  little  devil  ??  ❞  he  questioned  with  mischief  in  his  tone,  finding  humor  in  messing  with  the  younger  since  it  feels  as  though  he's  making  up  for  lost  time.  salem  squeezes  ezra's  hand  again  and  smirks  at  him.  ❝  are  you  saying  you  think  i'm  hot,  ezra  ??  ❞  holy  shit  this  is  flirting.  salem  is  actively  flirting  with  his  best  friend.  the  thought  has  his  heart  hammering  despite  the  outward  confidence  he  puts  forth  and  salem  wonders  if  he  took  it  a  step  too  far.  not  even  just  making  ezra  uncomfortable  but  just  ...  bringing  to  light  such  sentiments  that  salem  needs  to  put  a  handle  on.  he  lets  himself  be  soothes  by  the  fondness  echoing  back  on  ezra's  features  that  is  safe  to  assume  match  his  own  just  as  much.  there's  a  heat  to  his  cheeks  as  he  climbs  into  the  car  following  the  other's  words  and  watches  as  ezra  sits  in  what  feels  like  yards  away.  ❝  nothing  too  exciting.  didn't  realize  how  much  i  rely  on  you  for  entertainment  until  you  were  gone  which  kinda  sounds  sad  now  that  i'm  saying  it  out  loud.  ❞  salem  admits,  suddenly  shy  as  a  faint  laugh  passes  through  his  lips.  maybe  it's  with  the  dimmed  lighting  of  the  car  that  the  exhaustion  ezra  wears  becomes  all  the  more  visible  and  concern  settles  deep  in  his  stomach.  biting  down  on  his  lip,  salem  allows  himself  to  be  selfish  and  slides  into  the  middle  seat  so  the  distance  between  the  two  is  minimized.  ❝  ezra.  ❞  he  breathes  out  with  a  frown  appearing  on  his  features.  he  extends  his  hand  outward,  slowly  if  ezra  so  chooses  to  swat  his  hand  away,  and  cups  the  younger's  cheek.  his  thumb  gently  brushes  the  puffiness  under  ezra's  eye  and  salem  lets  out  a  sigh.  ❝  you  should  really  sleep.  ❞  his  heart  thumps  in  his  chest  as  his  brain  argues  that  he  should  retreat  back  to  his  claimed  side  of  the  car,  but  salem  is  selfish  and  knows  that  he  won't.  he'll  accept  whatever  ezra  is  willing  to  give  him.  ❝  do  you  want  to  use  my  shoulder  until  we're  home  ??  i  don't  mind.  it  can  help  you  recharge  until  we  get  there  and  you  see  your  family  again.  ❞  salem  says  lightly.  until  we're  home.  his  words  take  a  moment  to  sink  in  and  if  his  cheeks  weren't  pink  previously  then  they  definitely  were  now  at  the  insinuation  in  his  words.  salem  vows  to  stay  silent,  refusing  to  correct  himself  in  hopes  of  his  slip  up  going  past  ezra.

[salemisms]

𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:  kam  saelim  &.  salem  hwang 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:  oscar  wilde  bar  -  flat  iron  district

       there  hasn't  ever  really  been  a  time  where  salem  found  himself  overcome  with  uncertainty  while  at  work.  bartending  has  been  his  schtick  since  he  turned  eighteen,  giving  him  a  long  while  to  gain  the  confidence  and  skills  required  to  earn  himself  a  handsome  income  —  which  he  does.  getting  a  read  on  the  customer's  and  tuning  his  personality  to  mold  into  what  will  get  him  the  best  tip  has  almost  become  like  a  fun  game  to  help  pass  the  time  through  his  shifts.  what's  changed  is  that  now  kam  is  his  coworker.  which  —  nothing  is  inherently  wrong  with  that  considering  salem  was  the  one  who  offered  to  put  in  a  good  word  for  the  other.  what  salem  hadn't  anticipated  were  the  ...  complications  to  arise  as  they  had  with  their  kiss.  not  that  salem  even  considered  it  much  of  a  kiss  —  more  so  a  brief  press  of  lips  before  kam  pulled  away.  regardless,  it  was  a  moment  salem  wanted  to  obliterate  from  his  memory  seeing  as  each  time  it  managed  to  come  to  the  forefront  of  his  mind,  his  thoughts  would  travel  to  ezra  and  his  heart  would  clench.  fucking  feelings  sucked.  it's  not  even  like  he  could  vent  to  anyone  without  being  judged  but  in  his  defense,  it  seemed  like  the  only  viable  action  to  not  only  get  kam  to  be  quiet,  but  also  to  spare  the  single  hanging  thread  of  salem's  sanity  from  breaking  off  and  falling  into  the  darkened  void  of  his  ignored  feelings.  definitely  not  a  mindset  he  wanted  to  slip  in  while  with  the  other  and  still  determining  just  ...  whatever  the  hell  he  felt  for  ezra.  for  as  much  as  salem  wanted  to  live  in  denial,  he  understood  enough  that  the  fluttering  in  his  stomach  from  each  interaction  with  the  younger  breached  platonic  friendship.  quite  thankfully,  up  until  now,  salem  managed  to  evade  any  shared  shifts  with  kam.  for  a  brief  time  it  was  a  blessing  in  disguise  before  the  anxiety  of  being  in  a  shared  space  with  kam  eventually  happening  settled  in  and  oh,  look  —  there  they  were  now.  in  a  shared  space  sharing  a  shift.  though,  to  be  fair,  they  were  on  opposite  sides  of  the  marble  bar  considering  how  long  it  was  and  they  hadn't  spoken  since  salem's  shift  started  and  he  saw  kam  at  the  other.  business  picked  up  as  it  always  did,  leaving  salem  little  time  to  focus  on  worries  as  time  continued  on  and  he  moved  diligently  behind  the  bar.  he  manages  to  catch  a  glimpse  of  a  tired  looking  kam  retreating  toward  the  break  room  at  some  point  and  not  thinking  much  of  it,  at  least  not  until  his  own  shift  ended  and  his  stiff  legs  walked  him  in  the  same  direction.  pushing  disheveled  pink  strands  out  of  his  eyes  and  letting  out  a  yawn,  he  stills  at  the  sight  of  kam  passed  out  on  the  couch.  hand  still  latched  in  his  hair,  salem  spares  a  glance  toward  the  wall  clock  and  feels  guilt  stir  in  his  chest  at  leaving  kam  asleep  on  the  couch.  the  two  haven't  really  spoken  since  The  Incident  and  salem  was  content  with  continuing  on  that  trajectory.  moments  pass  before  a  sigh  emits  from  his  lips,  hand  dropping  from  his  hair  to  his  side  unceremoniously  before  walking  toward  the  couch.  ❝  hey,  kam.  you  up  ??  ❞  salem  stands  there  looking  down  at  the  other  in  what  seems  like  a  peaceful  sleep  and  bites  down  on  his  lip.  if  he  gets  bitched  at  then  this  is  the  last  nice  thing  he's  doing  ever.  with  another  sigh,  salem  squats  down  so  he'll  be  at  eye  level  with  kam  when  he  wakes  up  and  places  a  hand  on  the  other's  shoulder  to  lightly  stir  him.  ❝  kam.  kam  —  hey.  it's  getting  late  and  i  don't  think  you  want  this  shit  couch  to  fuck  up  your  back.  ❞  salem  pauses  as  his  mind  debates  his  next  point  and  chocolate  hues  blink  owlishly.  ❝  are  you  good  to  make  it  home  or  i  could  walk  you  home  ??  maybe  call  you  an  uber  ??  ❞  @inkamtatum​

[salemisms]

rheemingyu​:

five minutes left to touchdown and yet, the business class cabin felt stuffier than ever. stuffier than it was ten hours prior, when his ( supposedly ) noise-cancelling headphones failed to suppress the cries of a hungry toddler seated way back in premium economy. even stuffier than it was four hours ago, when he realised how shitty the entertainment catalogue was, apart from the first season of suits which he had completed during his first flight from denpasar to narita. while it sounds heavily laced with irony, all ezra wanted was to be home. flying halfway around the world for a spontaneous getaway didn’t end up to be as stirring as it initially seemed ; there was a lingering feeling in the back of his head, constantly reminding him that something was missing. perhaps it was being surrounded by family that he missed. the sounds of his nephews’ footsteps running towards his bed to wake him up every morning, the smell of his mother’s tofu stew for sunday dinners. but was it really the case when over three-quarters of his call logs were filled with salem’s name? frankly, ezra was aware that he spent a majority of his time with his best friend as of late, that it only felt like second nature to have salem by his side. his parents mentioned that it was a little too much, but ezra felt like there was no sign of it being concerning — so be it, then. walking through immigration and waiting by the baggage claim area made it even more draining, but a wave of relief brushed past in the form of a text message from hope, notifying him of their family driver who has been waiting by the pick-up zone. after grabbing his suitcase, ezra dragged his feet out the door towards arrivals, eyes droopy from the lack of sleep and his skin still tight from the humidity. 

the last thing ezra expected was a cry for his name from amidst the crowd when he stepped out. and it didn’t sound like it came from his brother-in-law, or his dad, or even their family driver. he was far too tired to decipher it. though remaining curious, ezra narrowed his eyes to scan the ocean of people, only to suddenly be anchored by the weight of a familiar figure. he’s frozen in place when salem’s arms are wrapped around him, still reeling in from the shock and confusion. it felt surreal. thankfully, the numbness in his bones was only temporary — and it slips away with ease at the warm feeling of the older boy’s body draped against his. “ oh my god, salem ?? what are you doing here ? ” he finally says, chuckling into salem’s shoulder as his laughter slowly fades into a small smile. whatever fatigue he felt throughout his journey back to new york flushes away, and ezra lets go of the grip on his suitcase to wrap his arms around salem’s torso. “ i missed you too. ” he squeezed one last time before barely parting, just enough to see the older’s face — whom ezra had to remind himself that salem was just there, right in front of him. right within reach — and the smile that painted his features grew even wider. “ i’m so glad to see you again. i just, i didn’t expect- ” his mouth was spewing words quicker than his brain worked to craft his words and so he hesitated slightly, but blame that on the jet lag. definitely not on how his heart was hammering in his chest. “ i thought you had a shift tonight. how did you get here? did you take an uber? i’ll pay you back for it. ” ezra eventually pulls away and while his left hand reached out to clutch his suitcase, the other found its way into salem’s hand. he spots a sign indicating the pick-up zone and began to lead their way towards it. “ have you had dinner? faith’s prepared some hotpot at home. you should come. if you’re not busy, of course. you can stay the night if it gets too late. or i can drive you back to the city afterwards. ”

       the  uncertainty  consuming  salem  in  the  moments  leading  up  to  seeing  ezra  again  disappear  once  he's  in  the  younger's  arms  and  his  fears  are  put  to  ease.  ezra  missed  him  too.  it's  an  oddly  calming  reassurance  which  negates  any  previous  arguments  his  mind  told  him  that  his  surprise  would  be  unwelcome.  but  ezra  is  here  —  no  longer  hundreds  of  miles  away  where  the  only  way  to  reach  him  was  through  a  facetime  call  or  text.  though  it's  not  like  salem  can  look  back  on  those  interactions  bitterly  when  their  calls  managed  to  fill  the  emptiness  he  had  felt  in  the  younger's  absence.  it  made  him  all  the  more  aware  how  much  of  his  free  time  has  been  consumed  by  being  around  ezra  when  he  hadn't  been  gone  for  a  day  and  salem  found  himself  missing  the  sound  of  his  friend's  voice.  something  that  had  him  reach  a  new  point  of  pathetic  that  salem  can  barely  even  acknowledge  internally,  let  alone  ever  vocalize  such  sentimentality.  yes,  the  frequent  facetime  calls  were  appreciated  and  his  heart  swelled  each  time  the  younger's  face  appeared  on  his  screen,  but  that  didn't  quite  rival  the  anxious  giddiness  that  was  currently  pulsing  through  him.  as  they  pulled  back  and  their  gazes  met,  a  vibrant  sound  of  laughter  bubbled  out  past  his  lips  and  salem  matched  ezra's  grin  with  his  own.  there  was  a  breathlessness  of  being  this  close  to  ezra,  seeing  the  long  expanse  of  his  eyelashes  flutter  with  each  blink  and  the  shine  in  darkened  hues  despite  how  exhausted  he  must  be.  the  onslaught  of  questions  bring  out  another  laugh  from  salem  who  knows  he  made  the  right  decision  in  coming  judging  from  the  expression  on  ezra's  face.  ❝  i  wanted  to  surprise  you.  ❞  he  smiles,  eyes  crinkling  with  only  a  short  span  of  time  to  feel  melancholic  when  ezra  pulls  away  from  their  embrace  to  reach  for  his  hand.  the  rapid  beating  of  his  heart  picks  up,  choosing  for  once  to  give  into  his  initial  impulsive  response  of  slipping  his  fingers  through  the  other's  as  they  begin  to  head  toward  pick  up.  ❝  i  took  off  from  work  so  i  could  be  here.  stop  worrying  so  much  about  money  when  you  just  got  off  your  however  long  flight.  besides,  i  spoke  with  your  sisters  and  they  helped  me  out.  so  no  uber  —  just  me  and  your  trusty  private  driver.  ❞  he  replied  with  a  reassuring  squeeze  to  ezra's  hand  and  glancing  over  at  him  with  a  fond  expression.  it's  still  sinking  in  that  the  younger  is  beside  him  after  being  gone  for  a  week,  which  felt  much  much  longer  than  it  really  was.  ❝  i  don't  have  work  until  tomorrow  evening  so  i  can  stay  the  night.  ❞  there's  another  rush  of  nerves  and  he  can  feel  the  heat  traveling  up  his  neck  again.  salem  can't  help  but  feel  like  some  silly  high  school  girl  around  her  crush.  another  wave  of  heat  colors  his  cheeks  pink,  leaving  salem  unsure  of  the  cause  but  knowing  he  enjoys  the  calming  weight  of  ezra's  hand  in  his  own.  ❝  as  long  as  you're  up  for  me  coming  over.  ❞  salem  says,  concern  lacing  into  his  words  upon  the  realization  that  ezra  was  probably  exhausted  from  his  trip  and  dealing  with  salem  wasn't  something  he  had  energy  for.  ❝  i  don't  want  to  intrude  when  you  should  be  resting.  your  flight  was  obnoxiously  long  and  you  deserve  to  sleep  in  your  bed  and  i'm  probably  keeping  you  from  that.  ❞  he  bites  down  on  his  lip,  overwhelmed  with  guilt  from  possibilities  that  he  never  considered  when  planning  his  surprise.  the  last  thing  he  wanted  was  for  ezra  to  feel  obligated  to  spend  time  with  him  just  because  he  picked  him  up.  instead  he  tries  to  lighten  the  mood  with  another  squeeze  to  ezra's  hand  ❝  you're  not  allowed  to  be  away  this  long  again.  who  else  am  i  supposed  to  bug  and  hang  out  with  ??  unless  i  come  with  you,  of  course,  which  will  save  both  of  our  phone  batteries  from  the  abundance  of  facetime  calls  we've  done.  ❞  salem  teases  but  is  quick  to  pause  as  they  continue  toward  pick  up.  ❝  it  really  is  nice  having  you  back.  even  if  you  resemble  casper  the  friendly  ghost  even  more  than  i  do.  ❞

[salemisms]

𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:  ezra  rhee  &.  salem  hwang 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:  jfk  arrival  terminal  7

       to  say  that  salem  was  anxious  would  be  an  understatement.  he  can't  quite  place  his  finger  on  whether  the  churning  of  nerves  in  his  stomach  and  his  thrumming  pulse  stem  from  a  place  of  excitement  or  wariness.  maybe  it's  a  horrible  combination  of  both,  salem  guesses.  it's  been  a  week  since  ezra  had  left  for  bali  —  a  week  that  surely  felt  long  than  it  was  even  with  the  frequent  facetime  calls  the  two  of  them  shared  together.  admittedly,  the  racked  up  minutes  turned  to  hours  that  the  two  of  them  spent  talking  when  ezra  should've  been  on  the  beach  and  enjoying  his  trip  was  painfully  embarrassing.  more  so  on  salem's  part  now  that  he  reflects  back  on  it  as  well  as  how  needy  he  must  have  appeared  for  being  so  willing  to  talk  as  long  as  they  did.  was  it  so  wrong  in  wanting  to  keep  in  touch  with  his  best  friend  that  he  missed  while  the  other  was  out  of  the  country  ??  for  as  much  as  salem  tells  himself  no,  he's  well  aware  of  the  crucial  bit  he's  purposefully  leaving  out.  right  now  that's  unimportant.  what's  important  was  tracking  down  the  correct  terminal  the  younger  was  set  to  arrive  at  from  the  information  given  to  salem  by  ezra's  sisters.  it'd  been  a  losing  battle  trying  to  convince  them  that  he  could  get  to  jfk  airport  himself,  but  part  of  him  is  grateful  for  the  rhee's  driver  dealing  with  the  traffic  as  salem  had  axniously  been  tapping  his  leg  up  and  down  the  whole  ride  as  though  he'd  miss  the  younger  arriving.  there's  no  point  in  salem  even  trying  to  deny  the  fact  that  he  missed  ezra  —  missed  the  frequency  of  which  he  spent  time  doing  whatever  the  hell  they  did  together,  missed  just  being  around  his  friend.  settling  on  friend  leaves  behind  a  bitter  taste  in  his  mouth  but  it's  whatever.  he  took  off  work  specifically  to  surprise  ezra  at  the  airport  so  maybe  his  nerves  stem  from  a  place  of  potential  rejection.  the  jittery  feeling  intensifies  as  he  stands  alongside  the  other  crowd  of  people  waiting  for  returning  loved  ones,  fingers  curled  in  a  white  knuckled  grip  as  he  holds  the  white  board  sign  with  ezra  rhee  written.  a  trickle  of  people  begin  to  exit  the  terminal  and  his  heart  feel  like  its  relocated  to  his  throat  as  his  breathing  becomes  more  staccato  and  chocolate  hues  search  the  faces  for  his  important  someone.  his  breath  stills  once  ezra  comes  into  view  and  a  grin  splits  across  his  features.  bouncing  up  the  balls  of  his  feet,  salem  raises  a  hand  in  wave  as  the  two  make  eye  contact.  warmth  blooms  in  his  chest  and  without  much  hesitation,  the  white  board  slips  from  his  grip  and  salem  bounds  over  to  the  younger.  ❝  ezra  !!  ❞  he  calls  out  in  excitement  as  he  quickly  approaches  the  other.  there's  not  much  thought  to  consider  how  dumb  he  looks,  too  overcome  with  the  joy  of  seeing  ezra  in  person  again  and  not  through  a  phone  screen,  before  he  throws  his  arms  around  ezra's  shoulders  and  burrows  his  his  face  in  the  crook  of  his  neck.  he  breathes  in  the  familiar  scent  of  ezra's  ridiculously  expensive  cologne  tinged  with  the  stale,  recycled  air  of  the  plane  he's  been  in  for  so  long  but  it's  him.  ❝  you're  home.  ❞  salem  states  simply  even  if  it's  mumbled  nonsense  into  ezra's  neck  as  he  lets  himself  be  warmed  by  the  younger's  body  heat.  after  a  selfish  moment  of  letting  himself  appreciate  the  moment,  salem  pulls  his  face  back  so  he  can  get  a  look  at  his  friend.  with  his  arms  still  looped  around  his  neck  and  bashful  smile,  pink  lightly  dusts  across  his  cheeks.  ❝  i  missed  you.  ❞  @rheemingyu​

[nctaezen]

TAEYONG — BETTER DAYS (AS WE WISH)

[salemisms]

tag  drop  for  𝖘𝖆𝖑𝖊𝖒  𝖍𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖌  !!

[dash-x]

[bpdshan]

I don’t remember anything ever but I also remember everything ever

[anxietyproblem]

[macgyvers]

Maeve Wiley in Sex Education 

[basketcasemp3]