depressed and extra seizy

I dont even care anymore so imma just post all kinds of stuff also I make my own memes

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if i told people that my dog died instead of my crocodile, the reaction would be a whole lot more understanding and a whole lot less of "that sucks"

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pmdd 🥰

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seizure free for two weeks, but at what cost

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does anyone know the reason why it seems like most of the creatures that consume predominantly earthworms end have having super sharp teeth and sometimes some sort of venom or organic toxin delivery system

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why the fuck do i have so many seizures that my brain actually uses them to regulate itself

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i need a really bad TC or so because everything is just so shit and off right now

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something is wrong something is wrong something is wrong something is wrong

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something is really wrong omg

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not included was the fact that this only lasted fir a couple of minutes and was accompanied by nausea

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something is wrong something is wrong something is wrong something is wrong

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something is really wrong omg

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something is wrong something is wrong something is wrong something is wrong

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why the fuck do i have so many seizures that my brain actually uses them to regulate itself

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not me having some dream where i ended up going into status and then into a 3 GCS coma organically

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also just remembered that i was actively suffocating irl during that dream too

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not me having some dream where i ended up going into status and then into a 3 GCS coma organically

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hey guys! a song called "back to earth" is the song that precedes me having such a severe cluster of seizures that i require my emergency meds 😍

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the new harbinger is the beginning of the thomas and friends roll call song.

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idk why, but it's always at 3am when i have the worst seizures and go into status. anyway, sometimes i have these episodes where after the lights go out for the night, my brain decides that its my time, and starts out the time with a TC, and then has a "cluster" of seizure after seizure with no break, for at least an hour.

another side note about these episodes is that i realized usually mark when my meds stop being effective altogether.

anyway, i had one of those episodes the other night for only twenty minutes (!) and have been feeling very seizurey since then, so im wondering if the meds are at least still marginally effective, but about to be rendered completely ineffective

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i go on walks every evening, and the past several days or weeks, i have become consciously aware of the fact that whenever i start walking, my right (!) hand starts to curl up in a dystonic type of posture. i thought it was just stuck like that for the entire walk, but the other night, i discovered that if i consciously focus on it, it actually gets better, but the moment i lose the focus, it goes right back to the dystonic posture. seeing as i have seizures coming from my left supplementary motor area, which is responsible for motor planning and sequences of movement, i have reason to believe that it is dysfunction of that area, but why it is turning into dystonia i have no fucking clue

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does anyone else get or know about systemic nerve pain influenced by female hormones? i had some of the most debilitating episodes of nerve pain (all over my whole bofy, not just pelvic) when i had the IUD in, and then a couple of nights this past period. i only get these episodes a couple times a year, so not often enough to point out a trigger, except for the past couple of times, it seemed to be influenced by hormones. i dont have MS to my knowledge (havent looked at spine though) and the only issue is upper motor neurons because of my epilepsy being in a motor area, and not the "typical" area for focal epilepsy.

I will say that endo has finally gotten on the radar and im pretty sure theres some on my pudendal nerve, since i get a lot of pelvic nerve pain flare ups right before and as my period is starting, but that still doesnt explain the pain in every limb and major peripheral nerve, down my neck and back, around my ribs, etc

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i found out it's called catamenial neuropathy

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update: i cannot find anything on catamenial polyneuropathy, because at this point, it is not just pelvic nerves, but also involves intercostals (and everything in the torso going around to the back too), pecs (as well as shoulders and arms, going into the hands), pelvic (as well as hips, glutes, hamstrings, and going into the feet), neck (and going into the face). so, i would argue that this is very much systemic and not just the pelvic nerves, and all im seeing information is catamenial mononeuropathy of the pelvic nerves

i genuinely cannot stretch any muscle group or move any joints without nerve pain, and i noticed last night that it began to affect my motor function, as my right leg felt different from my left (a little tingly, a little numb, and marginally weaker)

[ribbitflings]

does anyone else get or know about systemic nerve pain influenced by female hormones? i had some of the most debilitating episodes of nerve pain (all over my whole bofy, not just pelvic) when i had the IUD in, and then a couple of nights this past period. i only get these episodes a couple times a year, so not often enough to point out a trigger, except for the past couple of times, it seemed to be influenced by hormones. i dont have MS to my knowledge (havent looked at spine though) and the only issue is upper motor neurons because of my epilepsy being in a motor area, and not the "typical" area for focal epilepsy.

I will say that endo has finally gotten on the radar and im pretty sure theres some on my pudendal nerve, since i get a lot of pelvic nerve pain flare ups right before and as my period is starting, but that still doesnt explain the pain in every limb and major peripheral nerve, down my neck and back, around my ribs, etc

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i found out it's called catamenial neuropathy

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there is genuinely no fucking way that i do not have pmdd because why do i spend two weeks in nearly tangible misery and urges to kms

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so, after nearly relapsing or offing myself, my period started the next day