love is a lollipop with a scorpion inside

ive got stupid sexy little bitch disease, and it's terminal || pfp: @veryluckyclovers

[anywhoozles]

[mewvore]

"we detected a mature post" yeah I'm in my 30s

[capacity2]

Im not compatible with a single person on the entire planet

[decadentlorenzocollector-deacti]

not El rebloging, when she is compatible w me😩

[elsagism]

You know what, you're right *kisses you*

[decadentlorenzocollector-deacti]

come here my love *spins you around*

[capacity2]

[kosmogrl]

oooh I get it it’s always gonna be because of the environment I grew up in

[aceofpans]

it’s because of the curse

[linndrum]

“In my youth,” reminisced the old man, scratching his beard thoughtfully, “I was quite the quirked up white boy. No one in the village could best me at busting it down sexual style.”

“And were you goated, sir?” the young boy queried.

“My dear boy, I most certainly was!” The old man chuckled, a merry twinkle in his eye. “With the sauce, I daresay.”

[snoopylovessoup]

I love you, day and night

[oakh4rt]

this was one of the best plays of the night

[virtualgirladvance]

everything is okay

i live here

im a person

its okay to make noise

youre allowed to go outside

no one is watching you

[eebie]

eating microwave mac and cheese with chopsticks

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[phantomrose96]

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

[loki-zen]

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

[richardnyxon]

my new antipsychotic was supposed to be $2000 but somehow it's free? I'm not gonna complain or anything but I don't even know how that happened

[medievaljournalist]

i would smoke an enchanted cigarette if given the opportunity

[oneheadtoanother]

[skopostheorie]

[jeejyboard]

"Brick shithouse" gotta be one of my fave body type descriptions.... so confusing to translate