love is a lollipop with a scorpion inside

ive got stupid sexy little bitch disease, and it's terminal || pfp: @veryluckyclovers

[hotvampireadjacent]

Oh my god is that Jerma 985

[crplpunkklavier]

we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"

[despazito]

[multitaskingwhore]

if the damn daniel cannot break the eggs shell it will die without being born. We are the damn daniel. The world is our egg. If we don't crack the worlds shell we will die without being born. Smash the worlds shell! Lay 1000 damn daniel eggs!!!

[drowsytwink]

i just smoked 1,000 damn daniel eggs

[garudagay]

my favorite part of the 1000 damn daniel eggs thing is theres nothing even funny about it

[contemptible-scoundrel]

you can't make a damn daniel omelette without breaking a few damn daniel eggs

[thescruffypuppy]

I'll lay 1000 damn daniel eggs before i let this company die

[cheesefags]

2-YEAR CHEDDAR

from GRAFTON VILLAGE

I usually try to review cheeses virginally - that is, ones that I’ve never had before. In this case, this is a cheddar I’ve had many times before. But I couldn’t leave it off the blog, what with its obvious appeal to leather and rubber fetishists.

As far as cheddars go, Grafton’s 2-year aged isn’t going to shock you. It’s mild, light on the salt, with a slightly sweet and grassy flavour. It’s got a nice texture. It’s dense, more moist than I expected, and smooth.

So what is the deal with the gummi suit on this cheese anyway? Well, cheese has obviously been around a lot longer than fridges. Fresh cheeses like mozzarella are too moist to last very long outside of a cold place (bacteria and fungi do so love damp places), though I don’t think anyone was too mad about eating that stuff quickly. But cheeses that have been aged (and dried) more have some more preservation options, which is where cheese wax comes in. The wax is a physical barrier, stopping fungal spores from landing, and also blocks moisture and air, making the cheese a pretty unfriendly place to grow. Even drier cheeses can be bandaged in cheesecloth and then slathered in lard to preserve them while allowing some ventilation.

I gotta admit: hot wax isn’t really my thing. But cheesecloth bondage and grease… it has potential.

[dumbpuppyfag]

this site used to be awesome

[holy-punks]

My favourite translator said that when she was an ambassador for Hungary she took all these Japanese politicians on a tour and she was trying to circumtranslate ‘merry go round’ cause she didn’t know the Japanese word for it by calling it a ‘horse tornado for children’ and they had no blessed idea what she was saying and she finally started running in circles going up and down and they go ‘ohhhhh, in Japan we call those ‘merry-go-rounds’”

[insecuregodcomplex]

[sabertoothwalrus]

aint it crazy how everyone is famous nowadays and yet I dont know who anyone is. there are countless people that will have more followers on instagram than the population of Sacramento and no one I know irl has ever heard of them

[catchymemes]

[richardnyxon]

vegan bart simpson: don't eat a cow, man

[ravensloane]

guys i just heard a minecraft cave noise in real life

[quinquangularist]

change your settings to peaceful it'll be ok

[ravensloane]

k hold on

[ravensloane]

where are my parents

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[rockabillywife]

You guys would like my posts a lot more if you had my exact life experiences and internal monologue