My series is going to be really personal. It's difficult for me to be vulnerable so just bare with me.
I'm still trying to articulate my series to myself.
"A journey of healing and how I make sense of the world. "
More to come on that later.
Part of this journey is being stuck in my head. I'm my own worst enemy, critic, saboteur, etc.
So....and just bare with me....I really relate to these paintings:
1. The Flaying of Marsyas, Titian
2. The Martyrdom of Saint Bartholomew, Jusepe de Ribera
I learned about both paintings in Art History a few years ago, and was initially drawn to them just because I love horror and gory stuff. Today I researched their stories, both equally messed up.
Marsyas was a saytr that became really good at playing an instrument called a Aulos. Apollo doubted Marsyas' skills, so Marsyas challenged the god to a music battle. Apollo cheated and punished Marsyas for not being more humble and ripped his friggin skin off!
St. Bartholomew (aka Jesus' disciple Nathaniel) travled and spread the word after Jesus died. When he got to Armenia, Bartholomew converted the King which angred the king's brother. So the King's brother had Bartholomew flayed and then beheaded. Because of how he died, Bartholomew is now ironically the patron saint of tanners, plasterers, tailors, leatherworkers, bookbinders, farmers, housepainters, butchers, and glove makers.
You may ask, what the hell does this have to do with me?
I see these paintings as a perfect metaphor for my mental trauma. When I'm in my negative headspace this is how I feel! Like I'm ripping myself up inside, or like the world is ripping me up!
So for the painting I'm starting first, I want to paint myself getting flayed.....I know it's dark...but I think when it's with more uplifting paintings of my series, it won't read that bad. 😬
I want to be absolutely clear, I do not in any way condone physical self harm. I want to stress that this concept is strictly a metaphor for specifically psychological pain/trauma.