Your kid… he hid in one of my trucks and machine-gunned a bunch of my men down.
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@ricksmybitch
Your kid… he hid in one of my trucks and machine-gunned a bunch of my men down.
i want that 1x1 partner where we have 308340932 ships and lit are always adding more until we dont even know anymore and are great friends and just reblog ship inspo all day and bE THAT PERSON FOR ME
could you just say it?
“Omelette Du Fromage.”
can beauty come out of ashes?
private carol peletier. by stephanie.
friend: im having a problem with this person
me: kill them
friend: no
watching noelle bc of @namastekringle and my love for bill hader.
Christmas Starters - CHRISTMAS VACATION
❝Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?❞
❝We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f***ing Kaye.❞
❝Where are you gonna put a tree that big?❞
❝You’ve got a lot of nerve, talking to me like that!❞
❝Worse? How could things get any worse? We’re at the threshold of hell!❞
❝Kiss my ass.❞
❝Kiss his ass.❞
❝Kiss your ass.❞
❝Happy Hanukkah.❞
❝Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?❞
❝I don’t know what to say, except – it’s Christmas, and we’re all in misery.❞
❝This may be his last Christmas.❞
❝Keep it up and it will be your last Christmas.❞
❝Looks great! Little full. Lotta sap.❞
❝He worked really hard on it.❞
❝–So do washing machines.❞
❝You shouldn’t use that word.❞
❝Merry Christmas! Shitter was full!❞
❝I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is!❞
❝If I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.❞
❝You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.❞
❝Oh, woo. Look at the time. I gotta get to bed. I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to pay, wash the car…❞
❝Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.❞
❝Something had to come through the window! Something had to break the stereo!❞
@ricksmybitch I saw this on Facebook and had to share
step 1: make girl laugh
step 2: make girl moan
nothing to see here.
dialogue prompts from nothing to see here by kevin wilson.
i’m just kind of a jack of all trades.
information is power.
i wanna be so important that if i fuck up, i’ll never get punished.
i hate myself for being so damn predictable.
kids make mistakes. that’s how they learn.
he likes the fame, but he’s not big on laws.
i can’t tell you how much i need you.
i don’t have anyone.
i think this is going to be a disaster.
he makes people uncomfortable or super comfortable, depending on the situation.
you are almost mythical in this house.
no police. that’s not what we need right now.
it’s gonna make you angry sometimes, but i’ll take care of you.
are you worried about something?
okay, when you say it like that, it sounds really shitty and stupid.
do you have other ideas? please say you have other ideas.
you scared the absolute shit out of me.
what the fuck were you doing?
if we just disappeared, everyone would be happy.
you have me, okay?
don’t talk, just breathe, okay?
can i give you the message, or are you gonna keep asking questions?
don’t snoop around my stuff.
i knew that if anyone could do it, it would be you.
what’s the point of having money if you can’t use it to get people to like you?
it always made me happy. kept me from wanting to kill people.
hold this and act normal, okay?
cool people are scary sometimes.
you act like the whole world owes you something because you had it rough.
i’ve always been kind of in love with you.
i think about it. i think about you.
could you just say it?
no worse than any other family.
don’t tell me where you’re going. just go.
just tell me straight up, have you done anything stupid?
but you protected __ when it mattered.
i know you don’t believe it, but i have a conscience.
ok who has switch bc i need friends to beat in mario kart?
“you can’t see it, but i’m rolling my eyes.”
“No blowjob then?”
“What did you just say?”
“I said you got orangutan titties. They’re still tits and I love tits, no matter what. Don’t take that shit personal.”
BEFORE SHIPPING WITH ME , YOU NEED TO KNOW //
i will get invested almost instantly.
i will invade your inbox // im’s // discord etc for plots // headcanon’s // and general yelling about our ship.
i will tag you in gifsets // images // posts that remind me of our ship.
i will send you almost every meme you reblog // pop into your ask IC spontaneously.
i will get on your nerves eventually but that’s fine we’re fine it’s fine.
i won’t force anything on you that you’re not comfortable with and will always discuss any uncomfortable // triggering subjects with you. because as my rp partner and friend i respect you and your boundaries.
" You're jealous, aren't you ??"
Gritting his teeth, Negan leaned closer to make damned sure she heard every syllable. “If I were jealous, he’d be fuckin’ dead.”