I fly all the way to the hotel, on the bus, through the cow-riddled fields I canโt see in the dark, until Iโm flying through the lobby, already all the way up in his room in my headโฆuntil the valet stops me, tells me I need to check the front desk.
Itโs not my thing, but sometimes shit gets brokenโฆI always enjoy dealing with that sort of stuff, insist they come to me personally.
โWhatโs broken this time?โ I act the bored chaperone part to get us off, but inside Iโm almost always thrilled.
โNothing.โ He looks spooked. โHe just left the key. Said he needs you in his room.โ
โThe pool?โ His eyes widen; his accent slips, revealing heโs a little American in little England.
โItโsโฆitโs very cold.โ
โWeโฆwe could heat it.โ
โCoolโฆplease, will you?โ
โThank you.โ I give my sweetest smile, all poison viper.
โHey.โ He hugs me, dressed less like a rockstar in something like yoga pants, knit sweater. โWhat took so long?โ
โHmmm. What about the pool?โ
โThey should be heating it up as we speak. Why the change in scenery?โ
โCome check out the balcony, itโs sick. What did you have to do to get it done?โ
He scoffs. โWhat did you really have to do?โ
โJust had to say I wanted itโฆdidnโt even have to say it was for you.โ
โI knowโฆcouldnโt argue with him though, I like being boss.โ
โYou are always boss.โ
โIn all but name, not that I mind.โ
He throws open the door, and wow: it is sick.
The view is all countryside, which means except for a few pinpricks of light in our vicinity, thereโs nothing for miles and milesโฆand then thereโs the tub, tucked in one corner, filling with water, about halfway.
โWhat took you so long?โ Iโm only teasing him as I test the waterโฆitโs warm.
He doesnโt answer, so I turn to face him, to find that heโs flushed, unusually.
โI had to make a call.โ
โBugging Elias again?โ
โAlmost. Althoughโฆwe can talk about that later.โ
โCoolโฆare we inviting anybody up?โ
โI thought it could be just usโฆI really donโt wanna deal with anyone else right now. Oh, and, uhโฆI had to give over both our keys so we could have this room free of charge. Do you hate me yet?โ
โI could never hate youโฆespecially not for this.โ
โI was worried for about two seconds. Whatโs up with the tour schedule?โ
โThey set tonightโs show to two days from now, and I called down to the label so they can fix the dates on the rest of the tour.โ
โCool. Tell me what they change it to when it comes through?โ
โAlways. Now, whoโs going first?โ
He laughs, takes off his shirt, jumps right inโฆgetting covered in goosebumps where heโs out of the water.
I take pity, slipping out of my shorts and going in just my shirt, reaching to hug him.
โHow are you always so warm?โ He wraps himself around me the rest of the way, and I donโt make him let go, though it feels strange.
โThe heatโs in my blood?โ
โI was born someplace warm too, and I havenโt got that.โ
โLuck of the draw, baby. Maybe yours was a cold year.โ
โIs that how you think it goes?โ
โCould beโฆor maybe itโs just a matter of choice.โ
โHmm. Whatโs that thing around your neck?โ
โSecrets come in silver now?โ
โHavenโt they always?โ
Itโs actually the ring, though now isnโt the time the way I thought it would beโฆI look up, up at the sky, and then weโre quiet, until my phone rings in my shorts.
โCould be the front desk.โ
โWanna bet on who broke what?โ
โNahโฆyou always win. Taking me for all Iโm worth.โ
โI donโt need a bet to do that.โ
She rolls her eyes and slips halfway off the tub, bending to reach her shortsโฆIโm sure sheโs about to fall over, so I reach to hold her waistโฆher underwearโs black, watersheerโฆhow the fuck am I gonna tell her?
โHi?โ Sheโs already sliding back in next to me, careless as fuck, always.
โOh, cool. Thanks. Take theโฆyeah. Oh, yeahโฆthatโd be great. Thereโs no need toโฆyeah, slide it in. Thank you.โ
โSlide it in?โ I cock an eyebrow.
โDirty fucker.โ But sheโs distracted. โTheyโre bringing the keys to the poolโฆwasnโt sure theyโd actually do it.โ
โI donโt think they heat it usually, and itโs up on the roof, maybe uncovered? They probably had to wake millions just to get it ready.โ
โIโd hope for none.โ
โYouโre not too bad yourself.โ
โUnderneath everything else.โ
โSoโฆdo you wanna go up now?โ
โYeah, might as well. Need to put on something elseโฆdonโt want to get a call about wet streaks in the hall.โ
โIโd take it for you.โ
But sheโs gone, beelining for the closet, where I left her backpackโฆI stare at her as long as I can before making my way out of the water, closing the tub so we donโt have to start again, get undressed.
She throws open the glass door, stripping immediately, jumping in before I can even get all the way out of my clothes.
โNoโฆstop being a pussy.โ
โCome over here and do it yourself.โ
I give her what she wants, jumping into the waterโฆit is warm, thank fuck.
She swims closer to me, reaches a hand out to play with my hair, laughing at the way it looksโฆI do the same to hers.
โIs it time for a cut?โ
โMaybeโฆitโs getting a little long.โ She slips her fingers around the edges, brushing my neck.
โWhat should I do next?โ
โYou know Iโll always say grow it longโฆbut you should ask people again, it makes them feel like theyโre part of the show.โ
โI should grow it, just for you.โ
Her eyes get distant, and that scares me so much, I start to slowly lose it, though I try not to show it.
โYouโll look great no matter what you do, J.โ
โMaybe we should match.โ
She laughs. โLast time I grew my hair long, I almost died.โ
โIt hurtโฆbut the worst of it was that it became unbrushable.โ
โIโd brush it if you let meโฆโ
Her eyes are still drifting, distant, colder than the night airโฆuntil she stops, turning to look at me, swimming closer.
She stops inches away, and then wraps her arms around my shoulders, even as I get mine around her waistโฆ
โI got you somethingโฆitโsโฆfuck, itโs so cheesy, I donโt know whatโs wrong with me.โ
โIโve just said one of the cheesiest things of my lifeโฆthatโs just us.โ
She nods, slipping her fingers away; I hold her against me halfway, as she reaches behind her to unclasp the necklace she hadnโt been wearing earlier, taking it in her hand, before slipping something out of it.
โI know youโve got tons of metal, so I wanted to get something differentโฆthe colors are boring, but stillโฆโ
She slips it into my hand, and I turn it over, accidentally pulling her closer, her fingers going across my back, along my neckโฆitโs a ring, black pink woven together, unlike anything I have.
โItโsโฆitโs great. Whereโฆwhere did you get it?โ
โSome country mallโฆI wove it myself. I used to have one of these a while back and because I was a hopeless useless romantic even when I didnโt want to beโฆI thought if I ever found someone I really liked, Iโd make them oneโฆand it couldnโt be metal, because that hurts, and itโs bad enough that youโreโฆthat weโre doing whatever this is.โ
โRight nowโฆbut it has been. And I know Iโm fucked, that Iโm not easy.โ
โIโm not, either. I donโt mind. Thisโฆno oneโs ever given me anything like thisโฆthank you, Y/N/N. I love it.โ
It feels like barely a second, until weโre kissing, her breath mixing with mine, the two of us tangling together in the waterโฆwe stop, for barely a second, just long enough for her to slip the ring on my finger, and then Iโm lying on my back on the pool steps, and sheโs making her way over my chest, up and down until sheโs down, just enoughโฆI donโt know how, but sheโs always ready, reaching into her shorts for a condom, sliding her tongue hard enough that I feel dizzy, lostโฆwe donโt even talk, I couldnโt anyway; I only have to slip my fingers over her arm for her to slide up, slide in, legs around my waist, hair everywhereโฆI slip my fingers around her hips, sliding her underwear all the way down, slipping in slowly so I donโt hurt herโฆshe pushes down, though, the rest of the way, and then weโre pressed chest to chest, and Iโm kissing her.
โI love you so fucking much.โ
She doesnโt answer, doesnโt need toโฆshe bites my shoulder, and I comeโฆfinish her off, until weโre both on our backs on the steps, and Iโm all the way under her, the only way to chase away the cold.
