SORRY NOT SORRY

Camilla Mairie Harper. 27. Biker chick. As stated in the little blue bar up above, my name is Cam. It's short for my birth name, we'll leave it at that. I'm not one to ramble about myself, so I guess I'll just add whatever I want to talk about. I'm just a biker chick married to a my super hot wife, I'm sure you've heard of us. I also have a twin out there, but I'm the one with the awesome hair and most likely on a bike. And by that I mean motorcycle, I don't roll around on a damn bicycle. Want to know more? Too fucking bad. Sharing time is over. #sorrynotsorry

[avifusion]

YOU'RE ONLY BRAVE IN THE MOONLIGHT ➝ CAMIANA.

[rideitcam-blog]

TAGGING ➝ Camilla Harper, Eviana Lopez.

LOCATION ➝ Cam’s suite.

TIME FRAME ➝ 3/18, late evening.

WARNINGS ➝ Alcohol.

NOTES ➝ Eva gets drunk and mistakes are made.

EVIANA LOPEZ

Don’t. There it was again, Cam telling Eva not to mention her wife. It pulled a frown to her face again, because she was basically proving Eva’s point, that it made sense for her to cut contact, because it was impossible for her not to talk about Tara, not when she felt so strongly against her relationship with her best friend. Considering Eva’s current frame of mind, however, she couldn’t really make the best points, so she chose not to say anything, and instead just looked at the other girl with a raised brow. She wasn’t here for riddles, she didn’t want to have to think about anything. She wanted to yell at Cam for doing what she did and then get out of there. “There’s nothing to think about,” She frowned, folding her arms defiantly as she glared at her friend. Maybe if Eva was sober, she would’ve put two and two together a little easier, but unfortunately for both of them, she wasn’t, so she needed things to be spelled out for her. Even if she was sober and had understood, she probably would’ve still made Cam explain herself, since she wasn’t trying to jump to awkward conclusions to then find out she was completely wrong and had made a fool of herself all over again.

“I told you how I felt. I told you that Tara wasn’t good enough for you. Should I have told you that I loved you, would that have been better?” She asked, brow still raised in confusion. Eva may have disliked Tara, and yes, she may have spent a lot of time telling Cam how the other woman wasn’t good enough for her, but she would’ve never tried to come between them in a romantic sense, to slot herself into Tara’s place instead, no matter how much she wanted to. “You were obviously in love with her, you wanted to marry her. If I’d told you I loved you, that would’ve been such a dick move. I think she’s trash, but who the fuck am I to get in the way of your happiness?” Eva shrugged, about ready to just be done with this conversation. She didn’t feel like she was getting anywhere, she just felt confused and annoyed, also a little too drunk, but she was hanging in there.

CAMILLA HARPER

Cam really, really wanted to tell Eva how she felt. She didn’t want to play mind games with her, she just wanted her to understand what Cam meant without her actually saying the words out loud. As much as she wanted to get her feelings out there, she had never been good at handling things like this. The only person she ever said that to first was her wife. That’s when they were teenagers. When she came back, Tara pretty much did all of it herself. She asked Cam out, she asked her to be her girlfriend, and she asked her to marry her. All Cam had to do was say yes. That’s what she liked about it. She didn’t have to do the chasing this time, Tara did. Then again, that was more about what happened to them before. Things were completely different now. Sure, she liked being the one calling the shots this time, but she didn’t have to go along with it the way she had. She could have said no. It was hard saying no to Tara, though. Not because Cam was crazy in love with her, but because of manipulative she could be. The way she always been. She knew how to get what she wanted from Cam. Not that she blamed her for the whole situation, though. She blamed herself more, in fact. She should have known she was making a mistake. Not only did she not love Tara, but she loved someone else. Even if she didn’t think she and Eva had a chance, she never should have settled. 

“Yes! It would have made all the difference in the world!” She shouted, mostly out of frustration. She didn’t know how to be any clearer other than spelling it out for her, but maybe that’s what she had to do. Eva clearly wasn’t getting it and Cam could only drop hints for so long. “I haven’t been in love with her since I was seventeen.” She admitted, although it was more to herself than it was to Eva. She had to face that fact that she had married someone that she never really knew. In high school, Tara was the gorgeous, older girl that Cam chased after for a year. When she came back, the roles were reversed, and she liked it. When they rushed into their marriage, she told people they had history. She never stopped to think that it wasn’t a good one. “Maybe I was never really in love with her. Just who I thought she was.” She sighed, hoping that what she said made some sense to Eva. It made perfect sense to herself. “If I knew that we felt the same way about each other, I wouldn’t be married right now.” She said, looking her friend straight in the eye. “The reason I don’t like you talking about her is because I just want to forget about her. And you make me forget.”

[avifusion]

YOU'RE ONLY BRAVE IN THE MOONLIGHT ➝ CAMIANA.

[rideitcam-blog]

TAGGING ➝ Camilla Harper, Eviana Lopez.

LOCATION ➝ Cam’s suite.

TIME FRAME ➝ 3/18, late evening.

WARNINGS ➝ Alcohol.

NOTES ➝ Eva gets drunk and mistakes are made.

EVIANA LOPEZ

Had Cam just decided that Eva saying she was going to cut contact and effectively leave her life was fine and the right thing to do, Eva would be waymore drunk right now. She’d hovered her thumb over the send button for a long time before she’d actually allowed herself to hit it and send that text over to the other girl, and she hadn’t felt happy about it even afterwards. In fact, the thought of a life without Cam made her feel sick. It was hard enough that she didn’t have her the way she wanted her anyway, but it would suck even worse if she didn’t have her in her life at all. Luckily, it seemed that Cam felt the same way, because she was fighting to keep her, even if the way she’d gone about it was kind of shitty. If she hadn’t actually wanted out of the other girl’s life, though, it made Eva wonder why she’d ever even sent the text in the first place. Maybe this was what she wanted. Maybe she wanted Cam to fight for her. Considering what she’d just confessed, it only made sense.

Of course, Eva was too drunk to realize that she’d just spilled something she shouldn’t have, and although it had been slurred, it was still very clear that she’d meant it, and Eva had no intention of taking it back. “I don’t know what you’re capable of,” She shrugged, “I mean, you married someone who doesn’t deserve you, so you’re obviously capable of making mistakes.” Maybe that was mean, but truth be told, Eva didn’t have to be drunk to have said it. She’d told Cam plenty of times before that marrying Tara was a mistake, it just never seemed to have mattered to her, no matter how much Eva pushed. Again, she would’ve questioned the next statement even if she was sober, but she would’ve had more of an idea about what she’d meant. Drunk, though, Eva was oblivious, and her brows knitted tightly in response. “How you feel about me? What do you mean?”

CAMILLA HARPER

The fact that Cam never thought about consequences had always felt like a good thing. She usually did what felt right to her. It seemed to work for her so far. Leaving home, dropping out of school, driving around the country. They all lead to a good life. Before the money. Then the money happened and things went wrong. People she hadn’t seen in years were popping into her life, and as easy as they were to ignore, Tara wasn’t. She was a master manipulator, even when they were teenagers. She knew exactly what to do or say to keep Cam interested. Ten years later, it was clear that she still had that power. She said things to Cam that made sense at the time, but when she tried explaining it to other people, it sounded like Tara was playing her big time. Most people kept it to themselves. She could see the way they looked at her, like she was crazy for being with Tara. Maybe she was, but like most things she did, she did it without thinking of the consequences. Unlike the other things, though, it never felt right. At least, not completely. There was a part of her who felt sixteen again, getting the girl she wanted for so long. A much bigger part knew it wasn’t right. Maybe that’s why they rushed into things. If she gave herself time to think, she might not have gone through with it. If Eva had said then what she said now, she definitely wouldn’t have. 

“Don’t.” She said, shaking her head at the mention of Tara. She was the very last person she wanted to think about right now. It would be so much better if they acted like she didn’t exist and figure out what they were feeling. Of course, that was an awful thing of her to be thinking. She was a married woman, this shouldn’t be happening. It was happening, though. And the selfish part of her couldn’t help but be okay with it. There was so much more that she wanted to say. She wanted to tell her that she loved her. Maybe she’s always felt that way, but she had never imagined they would even have a chance. They were only best friends which was so long, which really was okay with. Her friendship meant more to her than anyone else’s. The only people getting in the way of them being together were themselves. Then Tara happened. Cam knew that as her best friend, Eva didn’t approve. She wasn’t sure if anyone approved, but Eva was the one who made it clearer than anyone else. It hurt knowing she had a problem with it, but the truth was, it would have hurt even more if she told her to be with Tara. “Think about it.” She said, not knowing exactly how to put it. She couldn’t help but think this would be a little easier if Eva was sober. She wanted this talk to happen, she really did. It just would have been better if she was sure Eva was completely aware of what they were talking about. “Do you even think I would have gone through with the wedding if you told me how you felt?”

[avifusion]

YOU'RE ONLY BRAVE IN THE MOONLIGHT ➝ CAMIANA.

[rideitcam-blog]

TAGGING ➝ Camilla Harper, Eviana Lopez.

LOCATION ➝ Cam’s suite.

TIME FRAME ➝ 3/18, late evening.

WARNINGS ➝ Alcohol.

NOTES ➝ Eva gets drunk and mistakes are made.

EVIANA LOPEZ

Because she knew her limits, Eva really didn’t drink very much, and if she did, it was usually with Cam. It only made sense that she’d wind up in the other girl’s room now, but considering she was the only one to have been drinking, this really couldn’t end well; something she would’ve taken into consideration, had she been sober enough to do so. Then again, while Eva may not have been the type of person to shy away from being open and honest, this one particular subject wasn’t one she really knew how to deal with while sober. She would’ve ended up just laughing the whole thing off, and not in the sarcastic way she was doing as Cam tried to tell her she didn’t know what she was talking about. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise her if she didn’t know, it would just confirm Eva’s assumption that her best friend had used her own feelings against her, and didn’t even care that she’d done so.

“Please,” Eva scoffed, rolling her eyes. It wasn’t a good idea, the motion made her feel nauseous, but it went away quickly. “Of course you know what I’m talking about. The other night, when you came to the club after you told me I’m not allowed to mention your wife anymore and I told you I was out.” She shrugged, almost wishing she’d remained seated, because she felt like she was swaying on the spot. Eva managed not to fall, though, so that was something. Her brows knitted tightly together, nose wrinkling in response to Cam’s next question. “Shut up. You know I’ve been in love with you for, like, ever and a day, and you figured it was okay to use that against me to get what you want.” Unsteadily, Eva began to walk away from the couch, lifting her hands as if she had nothing more to hide. “Well, little lady, you got it. I won’t mention her anymore, because like I told you already, I’m out. You have nothing more to worry about.”

CAMILLA HARPER

There were a lot of things Cam should have taken into consideration before she even got onto this cruise. She left her business, home, and wife behind to basically run away for a year. This wasn’t some long overdue vacation for her, it was her running away from her problems. Like she always did. It helped a lot that her sisters were on the cruise with her. They weren’t with her the last time she ran away. Sure, they didn’t know she was running away, but still. It helped even more that Eva was going to be here. It was probably strange that she could spend a year without her wife, but thinking of doing the same with Eva was out of the question. Then again, it really wasn’t that weird. Tara may be the person she was married to, but she wasn’t the one she had feelings for. Not the kind of feelings she should have, anyway. She had them for someone else and she knew that. Eva had always meant more than Tara. If she had told her that they were done with each other before she got married, she wouldn’t have gone through with the marriage. Having her in her life, even as just a friend, meant more than any relationship Cam has ever had. That’s why she couldn’t believe what she was hearing right now. Instead of responding right away, she just stood there, wondering if she was really hearing this. 

People say that drunken words were sober thoughts, but Cam didn’t know if she really believed that. She could recall a number of times that she said something she didn’t mean when she was drunk. That’s why she didn’t know what to believe right now. Eva had literally just said that she was in love with her. That she’s been in love with her, and Cam really wanted to believe that. However, there was another part of her that didn’t want to believe it. If Eva was telling the truth, that meant the two of them did feel the same way. That they might have felt this way for a long time. She wanted to talk about that so badly, but not when she was drunk. Besides, there was something else she needed to say right now. “Do you really think that I’m capable of that?” She asked, finally finding her voice. “Don’t you even know what you mean to me? I would never do anything to hurt you. At least not intentionally.” She sighed, realizing that is exactly what she had done. “I didn’t kiss you because of how you feel about me. I kissed you because of how I feel about you.”

[avifusion]

YOU'RE ONLY BRAVE IN THE MOONLIGHT ➝ CAMIANA.

[rideitcam-blog]

TAGGING ➝ Camilla Harper, Eviana Lopez.

LOCATION ➝ Cam’s suite.

TIME FRAME ➝ 3/18, late evening.

WARNINGS ➝ Alcohol.

NOTES ➝ Eva gets drunk and mistakes are made.

EVIANA LOPEZ

Maybe Eva should’ve had more of a game plan when she’d shown up here. She should’ve at least known what she was going to say; Lord knows she’d spent enough time thinking about it. Truth be told, since Friday, her mind hadn’t been on anything but her best friend. The way it felt to kiss her, even if it was under stupid circumstances, and even if it was just Cam’s way of getting her to stick around, it was indescribable. It was a small, quick kiss, an evident mistake, but it had meant way more to Eva than she was sure Cam had meant it to, and that was what made this situation suck so much. Cam was married, granted to someone who absolutely didn’t deserve her, but she was, and Eva’s chance with her, the one she’d never even bothered to take, was long gone. As hard as it was to see Cam with her wife, it wasn’t only because she knew Tara didn’t deserve her. That was one reason, sure, but one that was equally difficult was the fact that when Eva saw them together, it reminded her of what she would never have, and that was too hard for her to handle.

Almost like she’d known Eva was getting too lost inside her own mind, in her own serious, upsetting thoughts, Cam came to the rescue, the door opening with Eva almost falling through it. She managed to steady herself, though, laughing a little in the process. “There’s my little Smurfette!” She grinned, walking unsteadily passed the other girl and into the room, then made a less than straight run for the couch. Sitting down on it, she looked up at her friend, for a moment not saying anything. She was trying to think of what she’d wanted to say, but it evidently didn’t take too long for her to decide. Just the sight of Cam brought all of her feelings from a couple nights ago rushing back, and Eva wasn’t happy about it. Her expression turning to a deep frown, she shook her head. “Why did you do what you did?” She asked, her words a little slurred. Pushing herself, albeit unsteadily, up from the couch again, like she couldn’t decide what she actually wanted to do, she glared at the other girl. “Why would you use my feelings against me like that? Just because you know how I feel about you doesn’t give you the right to turn that against me. I thought your wife was the shitty one, Cami, not you.”

CAMILLA HARPER

Cam always did things without thinking of the consequences. She had always referred to herself as a thrill seeker, always looking for ways to make her feel alive. That’s why she spent an entire summer restoring an old bike. That’s why she loved driving said bike around the country, making whatever town she was in her temporary home. She was good at doing whatever felt right and making it work for her. Apparently, that’s what she did when she got married. When this girl who never wanted her suddenly did, it made her feel good. It felt like she was getting something she really wanted. The timing, of course, was suspicious. Then there was her best friend, who meant more to her than anyone else in the entire world.

 Maybe there was some part of her who hoped Eva would have said something to her before she was married. Well, she had, but her reasons had always been the same. Tara was a gold digger, she wasn’t good enough, etc. They may have been legit reasons and even Cam knew that, but it’s not what she wanted to hear. What she wanted to hear is that they were thinking the same thing. That they were feeling the same thing. When she didn’t say anything, Cam felt like she was fooling herself, so she got married. Was it a bad idea to get married just because Eva didn’t feel the same way about her? Yes, of course it was. She really thought she could make things work, though. She was wrong. Very wrong. 

It didn’t take Cam long to figure out that Eva had been drinking. That was probably why she was here in the first place, since she was the one who asked Cam to stay away from her. As the other girl stumbled into her suite, she wanted to reach out and help her. She had a feeling that she probably didn’t want Cam touching her, though. Instead, she followed her at a safe distance, ready to catch her if she fell over. She was relieved once she reached the couch, deciding to stand there and listen to whatever it was she wanted to say. She thought about playing dumb and asking her what she was talking about, but that would have been pointless. They both knew exactly what she was talking about. Cam was ready to apologize, since it clearly upset Eva. Apparently, more than Cam even realized. “I don’t know what you’re talking about...” She trailed off, trying to make sense of what the other girl was saying. “How do you feel about me?”

[avifusion]

YOU'RE ONLY BRAVE IN THE MOONLIGHT ➝ CAMIANA.

[rideitcam-blog]

TAGGING ➝ Camilla Harper, Eviana Lopez.

LOCATION ➝ Cam’s suite.

TIME FRAME ➝ 3/18, late evening.

WARNINGS ➝ Alcohol.

NOTES ➝ Eva gets drunk and mistakes are made.

EVIANA LOPEZ

Working on the ship was demanding, which made sense, considering too much time off would basically mean a free vacation for the crew while the guests were paying an extortionate amount of money to be here per month, and how would that be fair? It meant crew members, Eva included, only got one day off per week, and although Eva didn’t know everybody else’s schedule, she knew her own off day alternated, and today would be her very first. She really should’ve been using it to explore the ship, which she did for a while, but by evening, she’d found herself sitting at the bar and ordering drink after drink. Even one drink wasn’t great for Eva, it never mixed well with her medication, but after what’d happened on Friday between she and Cam, she needed to just lose herself for a little bit, and that was exactly what she was doing.

Maybe she’d taken it too far at some point, though. It wasn’t like she was wasted, and hadn’t really had so much that she’d compromised her health, but she’d had enough to up her courage, and found herself outside Cam’s room eventually. What she planned to do there, she didn’t know, but she knew she needed to see the other girl. Maybe she needed to yell at her about what she’d done, or about using her feelings against her the way she had. All she knew right now was that she had a reason to be here, she just wasn’t entirely sure what it was yet. Regardless, she lifted a hand to knock loudly on the door, before singing out, “Camillaaaaaaa, open uuuuuup!” The cheerfulness behind her tone was likely to drop any moment, but for now, there was a grin spread across her face as she waited for the other girl to let her in.

CAMILLA HARPER

When Cam had decided to join her sisters on this cruise, there were so many reasons why she had agreed to it. She wanted a break from her new life. The money, all of the people, her new wife. Everything had changed for her so quickly that she didn’t know how to handle them. When things got bad for Cam, she ran. That’s always what she did. She did the same thing when she was seventeen. Funny enough, she was running because of the same girl now. How did she even get into this position? Running away from a girl she used to chase. It was only six months into their marriage and she had regretted it. For many, many reasons. After her recent encounter with her best friend, though, there was a new reason. From the moment Tara came back into her life, Eva made it clear how she felt about her. All of the things she said about her didn’t surprise Cam in the least. In fact, she had gotten so used to it, This was the first time she had ever asked her to stop, but it wasn’t for the reasons Eva probably thought. Cam wasn’t defending her wife. She just didn’t want to hear about her anymore. Thinking of Tara made her feel horrible. Maybe she was using Cam, maybe she wasn’t. Either way, it was Cam who decided to marry her. No one forced her. She got herself into this mess of a marriage. 

There was another reason Cam didn’t like Eva talking about Tara. It was the same reason she had kissed her. As much as she tried to ignore them, she had feelings for Eva. Feelings she didn’t know what to do about, because she was married. She wasn’t supposed to have feelings like that for anyone but her wife. When her best friend would talk about her wife, it would remind her that whatever she was feeling was wrong. That she shouldn’t be thinking of her friend that way. If she wasn’t thinking of her wife, though, it didn’t feel wrong. It felt really, really right. Maybe that’s why she thought she could get away with kissing her. Clearly, she was wrong. She thought if she could somehow prove that Tara wouldn’t be a problem anymore, Eva wouldn’t try to leave her life. She was so desperate that she tried to tell her the truth, but even that didn’t work. It was like she didn’t believe her. She just walked away. After that, Cam went back to her suite and stayed there, trying to figure out what she should do. She was at a loss. A part of her wanted to go find Eva, another part of her didn’t want to do anything. It looked like she didn’t have to look for anyone, though. She was laying on the couch when she heard a knock on the door. If she hadn’t heard Eva’s voice on the other side, she would have left whoever was out there. She jumped up and practically ran over, swinging the door open. “Hey.” She said, unsure of what else to say. “What are you doing here?”

[rideitcam-blog]

ONLY FOREVER ➝ CAMIANA

EVA: wanted an explanation, but as Cam began to respond, she changed her mind, she didn’t want to hear it anymore. Although the other girl had cut herself off, she knew what she was going to say. ‘I can’t think about her because I miss her, and she’s not here and that makes me sad.’ Or something to that extent, just in a more Cam-sounding way. That was something Eva already knew but definitely didn’t need to hear aloud, the relationship sucked enough for her in general. She decided not to push, figuring it made sense just to say what she had to say and then get the hell out of there. She had to keep her mood up, she still had a few more hours of work left, and her job was not one for a low mood. It had been her own mistake to let her gaze meet the other girl’s, and her own mistake to ask for a reason. What reason could she even give her? It was dumb, but Eva waited patiently anyway, definitely not expecting what came. Her eyes widened as Cam’s lips pressed against her own, and for a split second, Eva pressed her lips back, but then pulled away only seconds later. For probably the first time ever, Eva was speechless. She just stood with her mouth opening and closing, before finally shaking her head. “No, you can’t do that,” was all she could stammer as she backed up towards the club doors. The only explanation Eva could come up with as to why her friend had kissed her was because her feelings were too obvious and Cam saw the opportunity to use them against her to get what she wanted. That wasn’t fair, Eva wasn’t about to take that. “That’s not fair,” Her voice shook, “I have to go.”

CAM: hadn't really known what she had done until she felt Eva kiss her back. It didn't last nearly as long as she would have hoped. That was probably for the best. That definitely wasn't why she was there. Any feelings she may have had for Eva couldn't be the reason why she was there. Cam was married. It wasn't a happy marriage, but it was still a marriage. No matter what was going to happen, she needed to figure that out before she did anything else. She wasn't thinking of any of that for the few seconds their lips were pressed together. If Eva hadn't stopped it, Cam knew that she wouldn't have done it. When they were apart, Eva standing there with her mouth open, Cam was sure she was about to yell at her. She probably had every right to. Cam had practically thrown herself at her and that’s not what she wanted. Or at least that’s what she thought. Cam was very confused about what was going on. All she knew is that she felt horrible. She wasn’t trying to upset Eva, she just didn’t want to lose her. She still didn’t want to lose her. “She’s not coming.” She blurted out, hoping that maybe that was the right thing to say. “I lied. She isn’t meeting me on the ship. She doesn’t even know I’m here.” She doesn’t know at what point she started crying, but she could feel the tears pouring down her face. It didn’t even hurt this much when she left her wife. “Don’t leave me.” She whispered, lowering her head. She couldn’t even look Eva in the eye anymore. She didn’t even know why she was asking her to stay, considering she had to get back to work at some point. She just knew this couldn’t be it for them. She couldn’t accept that.

[rideitcam-blog]

ONLY FOREVER ➝ CAMIANA

EVA: wasn’t happy about any of this. Either way, she was going to suffer. If she just kept on the way she was, she would still have to see Cam and Tara together, and that was painful in more ways than just the one she’d admit to. If she cut contact, she was losing Cam. To be honest, as much as it sucked, the latter seemed like the easiest option. What could suck more than having to see her best friend not only all loved up with someone that wasn’t her, but with someone who was completely using her for her money? Nothing. So if anyone didn’t get it, it was Cam. Eva’s brows furrowed as the other girl tried to turn the fact that someone didn’t get it onto her. “What don’t I get?” She questioned, eyes trained on her best friend. Cam’s next question made her laugh again, and Eva shook her head in response. “I’m not seeing you two together now, but you literally just had to tell me not to talk about her, so clearly whether she’s here or not, she somehow manages to cause problems.” The door to the nightclub opened as someone exited making a phone call, and Eva remembered she was supposed to be in there working. “You don’t want to be spending all of your time with someone who’ll constantly be working anyway. But look, let’s say I agreed not to mention the person that I don’t think is good enough for you,” She really couldn’t help getting some snarky remark in there about Tara, duh, “What about when she gets here? I’d have to cut contact at that point anyway.” Eva shrugged, good at masking her emotions. She’d been on medication that controlled them since she was eight years old, after all. “Might as well just be done now. It’ll only hurt later.” Her gaze had veered away from Cam at some point. She could try to act like she didn’t care, but not if she focused on her. Her eyes landed on her again then, though, and Eva sighed, softening her voice to almost a whisper following a pause. “Give me a reason to stay.”

CAM: couldn't keep the truth from Eva and expect her to understand what she was saying, but that's exactly what she was doing. She wanted Eva to just trust that she didn't have anything to worry about, but when she thought about it, Cam didn't even know if that was true. She had no idea what was going to happen between her and Tara. It was only six months ago that she was getting married, now she was running away from her wife. She knew that at some point, she had to deal with all of that. She didn't know when, she just knew it had to happen. One thing she did know is if she had to choose between Tara and Eva.... Well, considering she's running from one and chasing after another, the choice was clear. "I asked you not to talk about her, because I can't think about her right now. I can't. I just-" She cut herself off, trying to find the right thing to say to her. No matter how hard she tried, though, she couldn't think of the right thing to say. She wanted to know what the right thing was. Especially when Eva was asking for a reason to stay. Cam's eye widened as she thought of what she was supposed to do. Should she tell her the truth? What if she did? would Eva be mad at her for lying? Would she think less of her for running from her wife? All of these things were going through her mind at once. She didn't know how to describe what she did next. Probably an act of desperation. Instead of giving her an answer, she moved forward and pressed her lips firmly against her best friend's. She wasn't thinking, she wasn't even moving. She just stood there and waited for her to respond.

[rideitcam-blog]

INSTA REPLY ⇆ CHLOMILLA

@inkbycece: @rideitcam dude, I'm so down. It'll be like when we were little again!

@rideitcam: @inkbycece yes, exactly! We should see how many people we can do this to before everyone starts to catch on.

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ONLY FOREVER ➝ CAMIANA

EVA: had a habit of rarely being serious. It was just her way of dealing with life in general, she felt like if she made a big joke out of everything then nothing could hurt her. It probably wasn't the healthiest way to live, but it worked for her, and the positivity of it all helped with her moods. She could hardly blame Cam for thinking she wasn't serious now, though, but this definitely wasn't something Eva would joke about. "Not this much of an ass," She frowned, turning to push a couple buttons on her decks. She was still working, but luckily she had a few mixes that didn't require her really doing much and they'd still sound good. Work wasn't really on her mind throughout this conversation, though. Unable to help it, she laughed a little, kind of sarcastically, though, her eyes rolling. "You think you're asking something easy of me." Eva paused, switching the track to one that required no additions from her, then pulled off her headphones completely, resting them on the side, before grabbing Cam's hand and tugging her out of the booth, and then out of the club, where she let go once the doors were closed behind them. "You wanted to know what was so difficult. It's watching the two of you together." Running her fingers through her hair, she sighed. "It's too damn hard for me to see this person that I care so much about being fucked over by someone who doesn't deserve her, okay? If you think I can keep my thoughts to myself about that, if you think that you're just asking one small thing of me, you're wrong."

CAM: wanted to believe that Eva was just fucking with her. It would have been a really fucked up joke, but that would have been better than losing the person who meant the most to her. Unfortunately, it looked like Eva was being completely serious right now. This was the first time since she said it that Cam was actually starting to believe her. Suddenly, she felt like she was going to be sick. She felt like she couldn't breathe, and if Eva hadn't grabbed her hand and dragged her out, she probably would have started screaming at her right there. Nothing was making any sense right now. She didn't think that what she was asking was so crazy. She just wanted her best friend to stop talking about her wife. Then again, when she heard her out, she was starting to realize that she was right. Of course she couldn't keep her comments to herself. Cam was the same way. She was always making comments about her sister's girlfriend for the same exact reason. Even when she didn't mean to, it sort of slipped out. "You don't get it. You just don't fucking get it." She said, wanting so badly to explain what was going on. That she probably didn't have to worry about them seeing together, because as soon as Tara gets home and sees that Cam isn't there, she wasn't going to be a married woman much longer. How was she supposed to explain that, though? After she explained to everyone that they were happy, and that Tara would be there at some point? She couldn't. She didn't even know how. "What if you didn't have to see us together? Would that make a difference?"

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shakelennotstirred:

I’ll definitely let you know, it will have to be when I have the next day off, since I’m a total baby when it comes to hangovers. I’m really excited! So far it’s been totally great, and I have a feeling it will only really get better. 

Isn’t everybody a baby when it comes to hangovers? I can spend an entire night getting wasted and spend the next day whining like a baby. And since my sisters are usually the ones I want when I’m feeling sick, I’m sure that they just love that. That’s awesome! I would have been surprised if you didn’t think it was great. If I wasn’t a guest and was here to work, I would still be stoked about it.

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inkbycece:

I guess you’re right, but it still sucks knowing I could’ve made y’all worry. Well, you know how disorganized I am, I figured if I unpacked right away then at least it’s all done, otherwise I would end up with clothes thrown all over the suite and it’d totally ruin how beautiful the place is. She’s adorably clingy, huh? But even then, we’re not animals, we know what to keep behind closed doors. Although Court totally walked in on something she definitely didn’t want to see the other day… It doesn’t make you clingy to still be in the honeymoon phase. In fact, you guys could’ve totally used this whole cruise as an extended honeymoon. But I guess whatever works for you is fine.

I get that, too. We just can’t help it. Are you saying that your clothes aren’t going to end up thrown all over your suite? You’re so funny. I couldn’t care less how nice it is, this is going to be my home for the next year, so it’s sure as hell going to look like it. I didn’t say adorably clingy, but if that’s what you call it, sure. I never said you guys were animals! Just that you shouldn’t feel bad about a little PDA. Yeah, I got that when she warned me not to go into your room. I’m starting to rethink us all having keys to each other’s suites. I feel for Court, but at least it wasn’t me. Who says we’re not? We’re not apart because we want to be, we’re apart because she’s working and I don’t want to be the reason she isn’t pursuing something she really wants.

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eleancrjpg:

Yeah, I totally get it. It can feel a little bit forced but it’s a great way to get your name out there. We are going to be living together for the next year. I’d love to put a name to your face when I pass by you in the halls or on the deck. It’s nice to meet you too! You dye your hair a lot? Now, I’ve got to see all the different colors you’ve done. I mean, blue looks great but I’d love to see the others. Have you ever done more than one color before? Sounds like my kind of fucked up. I haven’t had a night like that in a while. Well, thank you. It’s nice that you’re remaining faithful while on the trip. I know some people who would use this as an excuse to get some. 

For people who want to get their names out there. I’m not saying that I have a problem with getting to know some people, but if they aren’t interested in knowing me then it won’t hurt my feelings. If I’m putting a name to a face, it’s because the owner of said face has done something for me to remember them by. Yep, I sure do! I’ve got the pictures to prove it. I think the only time I had more than one color is when it was black and my tips were purple. Other than that, it’s usually just one. Right?? I don’t know why more people aren’t on this level. If you want to tag along for a night out, I am so here for it. I want to know who will be able to keep up with me for the next year. It’s no problem. I mean, I took vows, ya know? I’ve got to stick to them. Plus, my wife is kind of scary. I’m not trying to piss her off.

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snixxxahoy:

I’d have to be in a relationship to have an affair, but I know a thing or two about covering my ass and talking my way out of trouble. Uh, no. No offense, but I kind of see you and Court as unofficial sisters-in-law. Way too weird. Weirder that this is the second time today I’ve had to say this.

Actually, no, you wouldn’t. For example: you could be banging someone in a relationship, and therefore covering up their affair. I’m not saying you would bang someone in a relationship. I mean, you might, I don’t know you’re business. That was just my example. Dude, why would that offend me? I was joking. I wasn’t expecting you to say yes. Um, I don’t get why this would be the second time you’ve had to say that? That’s really fucking weird.

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elizabethdarcyfabray:

A little bit of both. I do not want to be rude to the person talking but sometimes, I get distracted and get lost on all the words this said person is saying and I just try to appear interested. It’s a tough line, sometimes. I would take you on your offers of going out and having some drinks but crawling back to your room sounds a little unsanitary. 

Hey, I do that when my sister’s girlfriend talks! You don’t need to appear to be interested with me, though. If I’m saying something you really don’t care about, go ahead and tell me. I really don’t mind. I mean, don’t have to crawl back to our rooms. That was my way of saying that I go overboard sometimes, so anyone who goes out drinking with me should be prepared for that.

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jessicaflanagan:

Hello, girl with really cool hair — I’m one of two with really, bright red hair. Getting fucked up, though? My specialty.

Hey, that’s what the other redhead said! I think I need to party with you two.

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INSTA REPLY ⇆ CHLOMILLA

@inkbycece: @rideitcam I know! I was thinking the same thing. They're gonna be like "what the heck is wrong with this girl!"

@rideitcam: @inkbycece I say we let them think we're the same person and then one day, just show up there together.

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ONLY FOREVER ➝ CAMIANA

EVA: had never liked Cam's wife, and she wouldn't admit that it was for any other reason than the fact that the other woman was a total gold digger. But regardless, Eva was not the type of person to keep her mouth closed and her opinions to herself when it came to those she cared about, and there was no denying that she cared about Cam. Due to her disorder, she would do things without thinking sometimes, which included tearing down Tara to the very person she probably shouldn't be tearing her down to, and when Eva really thought about it, when she really reflected on it, she knew it wasn't right. She'd done her part, she'd continuously tried to get Cam to see that Tara was using her, but it wasn't working, and now it was time for her to respect her best friend's wishes. If that meant cutting contact, she wasn't happy about it, but so be it, so standing behind her decks in the club and letting her mixes play, she did just that. It didn't feel good, but it seemed that this was the way it had to be, and to keep herself from letting Cam fight her decision, Eva slipped her phone into her back pocket and paid full attention to her decks, throwing in beat drops and scratches to hype up the room and to take her mind off of everything else. Of course, ignoring the flash of blue hair that begun to approach her through the crowd was difficult, especially when the other girl was suddenly right there in the booth with her. Chewing on the inside of her cheek, Eva pulled her headphones down to rest around her neck, folding her arms and turning to Cam. "You really think I'd joke about something like this?" She asked, brow raised. Letting out a sigh, she gave the other girl a sympathetic smile. "Look, you're right, I have to stop talking about her. But I don't trust her, so I'm not going to be apart of this anymore, Cam. I'm sorry, I'm not."

CAM: could be really stubborn when she wanted to be. Ever since winning the money, she had to worry about people coming into her life, not leaving it. At this point, if any of them told her they were done, she would consider it a blessing. Eva wasn't allowed to do that. She can tell Cam over and over again that they were done, but she wouldn't accept that. She wouldn't have showed up here if she was okay with it. What really sucked, though, is that Eva had a point. Cam had always known that she didn't trust Tara, and maybe she had ever reason not to, but there was no convincing Cam that she was a bad person. In her eyes, Tara was that same person she had fallen for in high school. The girl who helped her realize who she was. And yes, she may be running away from their marriage right now, but it was never because she thought she was a bad person. It was because she wasn't happy being married. Of course, Eva didn't know that. She thought Cam was blissfully unaware that she was in love with the devil, while Cam knew that wasn't at all true. It sucked that Eva stepping back would make sense, especially when Cam asked her not to talk about Tara. She knew that Eva wouldn't hold back when she thought someone she cared about was being screwed over. The thing is, though, she didn't ask Eva to stop because she was defending Tara. She asked her to stop because thinking of her wife made her feel guilty. That's what she was trying to escape from. "Um, yeah? You are kind of an ass." She said, hoping that Eva wasn't being as serious as she seemed to be. "I don't care if you don't trust her. You made that perfectly clear. All I asked was for you to stop talking about her. I didn't know it was going to be so hard for you to do this one thing for me." She said, rolling her eyes.