a/n: it’s been a while but i’m back! i know i said i was gonna work on the sunghoon fic but in light of me attending the bts concert soon i had an idea😛
INSPIRED BY: Even If This Love Disappears Tonight
synopsis: she doesn’t know if she’ll ever live a normal life again. but he’ll make sure she’ll live a happy one. whether she remembers…or not.
genre: jimin x oc, best friends to lovers, romance, jimin x character, angst, !!mentions of death!! (if you have watched this movie before and yk what happens keep spoilers to yourself plsss)
wc: 4.6k
!!everything mentioned in this story is completely fiction. if you are not comfortable with the topics covered, please don’t read!!
Remember Me
The sound of sirens, red and blue flashing lights, and gasps from neighbors and their friends filled the night. It was an accident that would leave a mental mark on the whole neighborhood. But for Mei-li Chen, it left a different kind of mark.
You have anterograde amnesia due to an accident 10 years ago. Your journal is located on your desk explaining your memories.
It was a repetitive routine. Colored post-it notes hung around the beige walls with different names, phrases, and photos, signs of hope that maybe someday, they will finally hold meaning.
You have a best friend. His name is Jimin Park. He doesn’t know you have amnesia, so don’t tell him.
She went through the school day as normally as possible, alternating between reading her journal and reading the notes on her phone. It contained everyone she had ever had an interaction with and what she thought of them. This had prevented anyone from ever suspecting her condition. It was perfect. Mei-li wasn’t popular, but she wasn’t a nobody. Instead, she acted estranged. This kept her circle small and her mind more clear.
“Mei!” An excited yell was heard across the hall. It was Jimin. “Are you ready for today?” he asked.
Today was supposed to be us finally going to an amusement park.
She smiled at him, matching his excitement. “Of course I am!”
Jimin wrapped his arms around her as they walked side by side through the hallway. Out of everyone in the school, Mei-li kept him close — through her many protests. There were days where she didn’t understand why he wanted to be such close friends with her. He wasn’t much taller than her — 5 inches at most, but he held so much charisma and confidence that people were drawn to him nonetheless. His famous eye-smile and blonde hair that almost looked natural kept him as the school’s “heartthrob” — as cliche as that title is. But no matter his title or what people said about their relationship, Mei-li was beyond lucky to have someone like him to call a forever friend.
The school day went by like no other. However, Mei-li could barely sit still, feeling exhilarated to spend the day at the one place she’s been wanting to go to since she was a child: Lotte World. Exciting places like Lotte World were foreign to her, considering her condition. She avoided amusement parks, aquariums, or even a fun road trip with friends, knowing she would have no memory of it as soon as her eyes opened the next day. Jimin’s endless begging finally rubbed off on her, agreeing to let loose enjoy the day for as long as possible.
Lotte World felt like walking right into a fairytale. The first thing Mei-li saw was a castle, similarly to the one at Disneyland, with millions of people walking on the bridge towards it. Her heart swelled with happiness as she and Jimin ran across the bricked walk-way.
“So, where to first, Mr. Expert?” Mei-li asked.
Jimin sets his pointer finger on his chin and looks up, contemplating. He hummed before answering. “Let’s go with,” he paused, then looked at the deer eyed brunette, smirking, “The French Revolution.”
Her eyes immediately widened. “Isn’t that ride the scariest?”
“Yup!” he smiles. “But don’t worry. I’ll be there to hold your hand. I’m not scared at all.” Jimin interlocks their fingers, sending heat to Mei-li’s cheeks.
A piercing scream of agony could be heard from outside the park. Jimin’s hand grabbed Mei-li’s for dear life, almost cutting off her circulation, as he practically punctured his lungs, screaming, while on the roller coaster. They step off the ride, Jimin’s legs shaking with every step they take. Mei-li falls into a pit of laughter. “Not scared, my ass,” she mocks, earning a scowl from the blonde.
On every ride they rode on, Jimin felt as if his soul was being ripped out of him and it brought Mei-li a little more joy than it should. They decided to visit the arcade for the rest of their visit, both of their competitive nature taking over. Jimin ultimately won, earning back his confidence.
“That’s not fair, you’re more athletic than I am,” Mei-li complains. He laughed, ruffling her hair. “I may be more athletic, but you’re braver than I was on those death traps.” She chuckled, feeling better at her lack of arcade game expertise.
Night fell upon them, as they ended their adventure with the photobooth. The pair finally left the park, waiting on a bench at the nearest bus stop. They sat in silence, winding down after the eventful and tiring day that they’ve had. Mei-li leaned her head on Jimin’s shoulder, her eyes feeling heavy. He placed his phone down, turning his head towards the sleeping girl beside him. He felt his heart beating faster as he observed her features. She was always beautiful, he didn’t deny it. Even the times where she was in a simple hoodie and sweatpants, he found her breathtakingly adorable. However, he’d always had this hidden attraction towards her that he would never admit. Mei-li had guys ask her out before, but they all ended in rejection. Jimin considered himself lucky to be able to be by her side. The way she smiled was so bright that it could bring him out of any disparity he felt. She doesn’t talk much, preferring to listen, which he had always admired. He felt safe around her – comfortable, and loved. He wondered if there would ever be a day where they could be more than best friends.
Mei-li’s eyes started to flutter open, lifting her head from Jimin’s shoulder. He was about to greet her, but stopped, furrowing his eyebrows. Mei-li looked oddly confused. She started looking around, scared. She finally turned towards Jimin, fear evident in her eyes.
“Mei? What’s wrong?” Jimin asked worriedly.
Mei-li backed away, slowly standing up from her seat. “Who are you?”
He laughed awkwardly. “What do you mean ‘who are you’? It’s me, Jimin.”
She shook her head frantically, looking clearly terrified. “I’m sorry. I don’t- I’m sorry.” Mei-li started to walk away, but Jimin stopped her, grabbing her forearm. She snatched it back, holding her bag close to her body like she was protecting herself.
“Mei-li, it’s me. Jimin. Jimin Park. What happened? I’m your best friend.” Jimin was confused. But worst of all, he was worried. He knew Mei-li wasn’t playing games, like he was a complete stranger she had never met.
As the bus arrived, she took the chance to climb on, running away from the man who claimed to be her best friend. Jimin stood there, debating whether to follow her or to leave her alone, giving her space. Before he could think further, the doors closed and the bus began to drive off, leaving him under the dark night sky.
Mei-li sat down, her heart beating out of her chest as tears fell down her cheeks. She looked back, finding the boy she ran away from crouched down in the middle of the road, clutching his chest and his eyes watering. Was he running after me?
You have anterograde amnesia due to an accident 10 years ago. Your journal is located on your desk explaining your memories.
You have a best friend. His name is Jimin Park. He doesn’t know you have amnesia, so don’t tell him.
She sat at a park bench in the neighborhood she had written down in her phone. Regret filled her heart as she saw the photos and notes she took throughout the day.
“Hey,” a voice called out, gasping. She turned, seeing Jimin walking over, panting. Sweat was dripping off the side of his forehead and his hands were visibly shaking, but quickly hid them behind his back. He sat next to her, glancing at her phone filled with every activity they’ve done that day. He never questioned why she wrote these things down. He figured she was just overly organized. However, now he finally knew why.
“I have amnesia,” Mei-li muttered, tears welling up in her eyes. “When I sleep…I wake up and forget everything after the accident. I can’t make new memories.” She paused, thinking she’d get a response. When she didn’t she continued. “I’m sorry I kept this from you. I had the accident before I met you and I didn’t want you to see me differently.” She looked down, ashamed, fidgeting with her hands.
He reached over, taking her hands into his. “I would never see you differently. I’m just upset that I wasn’t there for you when you needed a friend.” Mei-li smiled, thanking him. They sat in silence for a moment, holding each other's hands, as if the other would disappear if they’d let go.
He looked over at her phone screen and an idea popped into his head. “Delete the notes of the past few hours.” Mei-li perked up with a puzzled expression. Jimin continued. “I’ll pretend you never told me you have amnesia. I had an amazing time today and you’re my best friend… I don’t want anything to change between us, so let’s trick tomorrow-you, together.”
He gave her his famous eye-smile, warming up her heart. “Are you sure?” she asked.
Jimin hummed in agreement. “I know I wasn’t there for you during your darkest times, but I promise you, Mei, that I will try to make you happy every day. Whether you remember it…or not.”
You have anterograde amnesia due to an accident 10 years ago. Your journal is located on your desk explaining your memories.
You have a best friend. His name is Jimin Park. He doesn’t know you have amnesia, so don’t tell him.
Do I like him?
Jimin kept his promise. He spent each day bringing joy to Mei-li. Whether it was going on a new adventure, visiting the beach, aquarium, or a simple school event, he was determined to make sure his best friend felt only happiness. And it was working. Mei-li could only smile for the next two months, feeling like she was constantly on cloud nine. Unbeknownst to her, that happiness came with a price. Every passing day, she had unknowingly gained feelings for Jimin. The fear of forgetting the adventures she’s been going on with him slowly grew to the point where Mei-li had refused to sleep, so she could remember those moments — remember him.
The boy started to notice something off with Mei-li. The circled around her eyes started to darken and she was becoming more and more sluggish. Has she been sleeping? he thought. He wasn’t sure what to do since he was doing such a good job pretending not to know her condition. At night, Jimin would research more and more about the effects of anterograde amnesia. His desk was covered in textbooks he borrowed from the library and his computer with thousands of tabs open to articles and websites. He wanted to do everything he could to help Mei-li live a life as normal as possible. However, he could only do so much without raising suspicion. With each passing day, they’ve grown closer — closer than what friends should be — that he was afraid to fracture it.
So when he found out that his precious Mei had been pulled out of school by her parents, he was utterly devastated. He stormed towards her house the same day he got wind of the news, ignoring the pain in his chest, knocking on the wooden door of his best friend’s house.
“If the kind of friend you are is the one where my daughter ended up refusing to get any rest, then you best stay away from her.” That was the only thing Jimin had remembered from that interaction. He had thought Mei-li’s mother was always this sweet lady, however her expressions held only hatred towards him. Jimin regretted not trying hard enough that day if he’d known it would be the last he’d see her for a long time.
You have anterograde amnesia due to an accident 10 years ago. Your journal is located on your desk explaining your memories.
You have a best friend. His name is Jimin Park. He
doesn’t know you have amnesia, so don’t tell him.
Do I like love him? I love Jimin Park.
They say your college years would be the best years of your life. But they say that about every stage of a person’s life. For Mei-li, college was just like high school — just like how high school was just like middle school, and so forth. The routine was endless. She felt like she wasn’t truly there, trudding through the days trying to reach something that was always a little too far. She wondered why her notes felt like something was missing – or someone. She’d stare at the same crossed off note each morning, her head hurting from the effort of trying to remember, however to no avail. After college, she had given up on the mysteries of her past. On the boy that she had claimed to have loved. In fact, she had given up on the hope that things could get better.
Jimin Park. An internet-wide, award winning singer sensation at the age of only 25 years old. Idols come and go in this country’s industry, most because of how toxic the fans can be. They force you into a box of their expectations and criticize your every move and word if it doesn’t fit what they deemed acceptable. Jimin wasn’t different, but he was one of the most strong-willed. He didn’t care about the people who mocked him or unfairly criticized him. He didn’t care about the crazy fans that would follow his every move and even show up at his apartment. The only thing he cared about was whether or not his Mei would finally notice him. He wasn’t allowed near her vicinity, her parents refusing to let him “corrupt” their daughter once more. So he decided to bring her joy using another method. He had quit participating in sports and pursued his newfound love for music. This way, he would be able to somehow reach her, writing his lyrics to try and connect with her.
Mei-li could only feel confusion. Staring at her TV, she wondered why the name of the boy who was in her journal was on her screen. Now in her very own apartment, she spent all night researching everything about this “Jimin Park”. She watched his performances, entranced by his voice. Was the man on her screen really the same one she claimed she had a connection with? What happened to their relationship? Mei-li felt like her head was going to explode as she scribbled in her journal while finally drifting off to sleep.
You have anterograde amnesia due to an accident 10 years ago. Your journal is located on your desk explaining your memories.
You have a best friend. His name is Jimin Park. He
doesn’t know you have amnesia, so don’t tell him.
Do I like love him? I love Jimin Park.
Jimin Park. Age 25. Idol. Fan? His voice is so calming.
Every once in a while Mei-li would pass by Lotte World. She wasn’t sure why since she has no evidence of her visiting, but there was something about this place that drew her in. Today, she decided to stay a little longer than usual. She sat at a nearby bench with her journal and began drawing. She observed the castle and the bridge, feeling a sense of familiarity, like she had walked on that path before. Her pen flowed seamlessly on the paper, capturing each detail of the castle and even the people walking by.
Her focus was solely on creating art that she had failed to notice the man that had sat beside her. She finally turned to see the man already looking at her with widened eyes. He wore a black hat and mask, concealing his identity, with nothing but his blonde hair cascading to his shoulders.
“Do I know you?” Mei-li asked, tilting her head.
It took the man a few seconds to react, clearing his throat before speaking.
“No. Sorry, I thought you were…someone else.”
He stood up and left, leaving Mei-li alone on the bench once again. She furrowed her eyebrows, not because of the odd interaction, but because she was unsure why her heart suddenly felt tighter at the sound of his voice.
Jimin felt stupid. She was right there, you piece of shit, he thought. He had envisioned every possibility where they could meet again, going over what he would say, but he never thought that when the time had finally come, he would just run away.
He waited by the same bus stop where he first found out about Mei-li’s condition, feeling a sense of dread that he blew his only chance of being with her again. He sat at the back of the bus, wallowing in his own self-pity.
But maybe fate really does exist. Because when she had stepped foot onto the bus, Jimin felt his world turned upside down once again. Mei-li sat more towards the front, plugging in her headphones and reading the journal he never thought he’d see again. Jimin spent the entire bus ride scripting out his words as his palms became uncomfortably sweaty and his leg constantly bouncing up and down.
“Hey! Wait!” Jimin called out as soon as Mei-li stepped off the bus.
She turned, seeing the same man who was on the bench. A normal person would run away, thinking he was a creepy stranger, but she stayed, thinking that if she left she would regret it later on.
“Um,” Jimin stuttered, not knowing how to introduce himself. “I don’t know if you know who I am, but,” He looked around the area for any unwanted eyes. Once he saw none, he carefully took off his mask. “My name is Jimin Park. We uh…we used to know each other.”
Silence filled the night as Mei-li struggled to find a response. The atmosphere became unbearably awkward. Hari cleared his throat as his hand went to the back of his neck.
“Here, um, I’ll show you.” He took out his phone and walked closer to her. Surprisingly, she didn’t back up. He smiled at that. He showed her all of the times they spent together. Mei-li’s first time playing basketball, their first class trip at the zoo, all of the times they visited the park near their houses, every meal they shared together, and their first trip to Lotte World – he showed her all of it. Before she could realize it, tears were streaming down her face and she looked at Jimin – really looked at him. She looked at how warm his smile was while going through the memories they shared together – memories she had unfortunately forgotten. She looked at his eyes. His nose. His hair. Everything about him felt familiar. Safe. Her heart was telling her he was someone extremely special to her, but her mind had no recollection of their time together.
Mei-li finally spoke. “I’m sorry. I believe you, but I just…it’s hard for me…to remember things. Those pictures. They’re me… but they aren’t…me. You’re a stranger to me.”
He looked at her with such softness, but there was a hint of hurt. “I know. But I don’t have to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know your heart still knows me. So I’m taking a chance. Let’s start over.”
She hesitated, her eyes flicking to him and the phone with a photo of them smiling. “What if it doesn’t work? Do you really think I still feel some type of way towards you?”
Jimin took her shaking hands into his, brushing her knuckles softly with his thumb. “Well, you didn’t run. So I think that’s a step in the right direction.”
You have anterograde amnesia due to an accident 10 years ago. Your journal is located on your desk explaining your memories.
You have a best friend. His name is Jimin Park. He
doesn’t know you have amnesia, so don’t tell him.
Do I like love him? I love Jimin Park.
Jimin Park. Age 25. Idol. Fan? His voice is so calming.
I want to remember him.
At first their conversations felt small, like they were walking on eggshells around each other. Jimin saw the girl he used to be around with every day during high school, but he also saw a completely different woman. Mei-li was more mature, the silly girl who would make fun of him all the time was now a bit closed off and distant. It took a few weeks for them to get used to each other's company. Jimin couldn’t spend as much time with her as he pleased, as his schedule was more demanding than the average person. Nevertheless, he’d make the effort to meet up with her with every chance he had, even if it was for a second.
“You don’t have to do all of this. You must be tired.” Mei-li looked down at her coffee cup, her hands gripping the sides.
He laughed softly at her concern. “Even if I do get tired, seeing you smile washes that all away.”
The atmosphere became lighter with every interaction. Despite the distance they experienced from each other for 5 years, the spark was still there. The connection between the two had appeared once more – stronger, even. Every shared laugh, every inside joke they would create again, every quiet moment of comfort is something chosen in real time, not carried over from memory.
Under the moonlight of his balcony after a concert he had invited her to, Jimin had finally confessed his feelings to Mei-li. He felt like a little kid uttering the words “I like you” with a hint of pink on his cheeks. He wanted nothing more than to be in her life again and was beyond joyful that she shared the same emotions. She wasn’t sure when he started falling for him. But maybe those feelings don’t just disappear along with your memory. Because even if your mind forgets, your heart still remembers.
You have anterograde amnesia due to an accident 10 years ago. Your journal is located on your desk explaining your memories.
You have a best friend. His name is Jimin Park. He
doesn’t know you have amnesia, so don’t tell him.
Do I like love him? I love Jimin Park.
Jimin Park. Age 25. Idol. Fan? His voice is so calming.
I want to remember him. I don’t want to forget him.
I want to spend my life with him.
“A date?” questioned Mei-li.
“It’s only fitting that I take my girlfriend out on a date, no?” Jimin tilted his head, smiling teasingly.
She blushed, but quickly brushed it off, rolling her eyes. Yet inside, her heart was beating out of her chest.
Rehearsal took longer than Jimin expected and was unusually more tiring than usual. He sat on the floor against the wall, catching his breath. His manager, a man much older than him but was almost like an uncle to the younger, approached Jimin with a worried look on his face.
“Are you sure you’re doing alright? You’ve been overworking yourself lately. You know it’s not good for you.”
“Just say I’m aging, Mr. Kim,” Jimin joked.
“I’m serious, Jimin. I’ve been talking to your doctor and-”
“I’m fine, Mr. Kim,” he cuts off, his expression cold. “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
Jimin leaned against his car, waiting for Mei-li. When she walked out, he felt like time had stopped. She was wearing a black dress that stopped right before her knees with silver heels to match the silver jewelry she had. Her brown hair was curled and cascaded along her shoulders. She was stunning.
“You’re gawking, Mr. Park,” Mei-li smirked.
“I prefer the term ‘admiring’,” he responded, opening the car door for her.
They spent their dinner talking about everything and nothing at the same time. Jimin talked about the time a fan showed up to his concert dressed like a glow in the dark stick figure, when he embarrassed himself during a live interview, and the time he showed up to rehearsal drunk – which he’d never do again. Mei-li talked about her life during the past 5 years, though she said it wasn’t as interesting as Jimin’s, he gave her his undivided attention.
After dinner, the couple walked side by side under the city lights. Mei-li stopped her tracks, Jimin turning around to face her. She looked down, biting her lip out of nervousness, but spoke anyway. “I don’t know if it’s appropriate to say it now…but when I’m with you, I feel less alone. And it’s hard not to feel that way for a person like me. I want to spend every day with you. I want to choose you even if I have to do it over and over again,” she looked into his dark brown eyes that held the light that she struggled to grasp for so long.
Jimin smiled, taking her hand in his. “You don’t have to say it. You mean more to me than the entire universe, Mei. I told you before that I will do everything in my power to bring you happiness every day, and I’ll stand by that.”
He would’ve given her the world.
Because to him, nothing mattered more than her.
The door clicked behind him as he shook his shoes off. The only light that was illuminating the living room was from the moon through the open window. He liked it like that. Jimin’s cheeks felt sore from smiling all night, but he didn’t care. He stood behind the kitchen island, looking around his apartment. The silence that used to be deafening was filled with the boy’s sweet humming. He envisioned what it would be like if he and Mei-li would live together. What their shared living space would look like. He was so excited, he could hardly breathe.
Hardly breathe.
He clutched his chest, hunching over the counter for some kind of support.
Water.
He reached for a glass, his other hand shaking as he tried to cough up a breath.
Just a few steps.
The fridge was right there. A few steps. But he could only walk one.
The glass shattered on the floor as he fell, his chest tightening with each attempt of salvation. He couldn’t move. His phone was left on the top of the counter, an area that was now unreachable. Tears now filled the cheeks that were holding his smile and his vision blurred.
He thought of everything he could’ve done differently. He should’ve held her hand longer. He should’ve gazed into her eyes longer. He should’ve kissed her when he had the chance. He should’ve told her that he loved her.
And as Jimin took his last breath, he could only croak out one thing:
“Mei.”
Just like that, the deafening silence he thought was gone, was back once more.
JIMIN PARK.
AGE 25.
POP IDOL SENSATION FOUND DEAD IN HIS APARTMENT DUE TO SEVERE HEART FAILURE.
Grief works and can be applied in many ways. There’s people who grieve the loss of a loved one. Those who grieve for something lost. Or those who grieve for what could’ve been. Because not everything is permanent. The only thing that’s permanent is the feeling – happiness, anger, sadness, love. It’s what you do with that feeling that determines how you live the rest of your life. A lesson Mei-li should’ve learned with him. Not because of him.
You have anterograde amnesia due to an accident 10 years ago. Your journal is located on your desk explaining your memories, but try to remember what you did each day!
synopsis ⿻ content : you and jay were the ideal couple— cruising through high school and college together; known as nothing less than the definition of forever to most. you were both aware your futures held different stories; yet you still spent all of college hoping it would mesh into one. as you moved abroad to seoul to continue your studies, jay stays put in new york, settling into the corporate, white collar job he had always pined for. coming to reality with the fact that you cannot have jay in your world— you let him go. that is, only to find him at a rock concert 4 years later in the borough you called home, tearing up to the song that screamed your name like a mantra in his mind.
a/n : my first fic in almost 2 years . . i hope everyone enjoys this as much as i did writing it ! ! ( yes, i did cry. )
fic playlist ⤿ ** la la lost you— niki, david— lorde, mean it— lauv, purple rain— prince.
New York is the kind of city where you can see your past flicker and your future glow.
as a child, i've always dreamt of the horizons beyond the upper west side— the brownstones, the local bakeries and the high school football field.
running around with my friends past 7 everyday, watching the sunset, i had always wondered if there was anything beyond the familiar world i had bathed in for 16 years.
that's when i met jay.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀—to me, he was the extension of my viewpoint. life felt so much more full— to say the least. with him, it felt like i could let my passions grow, that i could achieve the unachievable.
he was the one who i had sworn to love up and down.
i still remember our first kiss— well, it's quite hard to forget.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀the minute our lips touched, i felt your warmth; the love, swallowing me. it was a feeling i had never experienced before, a feeling that made me want to continue, a feeling that would later ricochet into the biggest blessing of my life.
i remember the night i became yours, too. how could i forget?
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀it was sophomore prom, you had asked me with a big corny poster and a dramatic promposal with all of our friends. i called you cringe, and i cried. but what i hadn't told you was that i had never felt more love radiate from someone in my entire life, i felt like i had finally been picked, like i had been chosen.
our love story started that night.
it looked liked the city skyline from brooklyn bridge during 7pm sunsets; or the barista at the coffee shop around our neighborhood, who had our orders memorized, religiously.
it looked like the rest of my life.
until you stepped foot into the airport. you take in the air and you're reminded of the life you've built in New York. you turn around and you're reminded of the life you've built with jay, too.
all the times when you would lay awake in bed, holding onto one another like you were each others only consolity. studying for mid-terms till the clock striked 3am; but even then, none of it felt miserable because you were with him. past you who would've cried herself to sleep would never believe that you were giggling yourself to sleep— laced in the arms of a boy whom you carried so close to your heart.
you brought yourself back to the airport, you shouldn't be crying now; this was your decision. you chose to abandon your hometown to travel back to your native country— to extend your studies and to explore more of this unfamiliar world.
you look behind you to the boy holding your suitcase, tears cascading down his pretty face, the look in his eyes begging you for one more day.
" yn. . . " he suddenly spoke. " what's wrong? "
" we'll be able to handle long distance well, right? all my friends have broken up with their long distance relationships but— but. . . i know we're not like them, yn. . . we know better than that right? " he took a breath in between, winded from the sobbing, chest heaving.
" please don't leave. " he huffed out, breaking out into a weep. he leaves your suitcase in the same idle position and rushes forward into your arms, holding you like his closest lifeline. he holds you like you'll disappear the moment he lefts go. you can feel his body trembling against yours, his hands shake. the tears continue to plummet down his face and he is left gasping for air, crying your name.
" oh. . baby. " you whisper into his ear as you take your hat off, wrapping your arms around his body, you let your tears surge. you ruffle your fingers through his hair, relishing in his warmth. you caress the nape of his neck because you know he loves that.
" i'll always be here for you, no matter what— and we'll get through this. we'll get through all of it and when i'm back in 4 years— we'll hug, and we'll kiss like before. baby, i promise. "
" because it's only ever been you, jay. and it will always, forever continue to be you. "
just like that, your time savored has been cut short. you peel his arms off of you— and when you look up your heart aches at the sight; his swollen eyes, his puffy cheeks. nonetheless, he still forces a smile as he tells you to turn around and start walking.
you've heard it in videos, on the news, when you see compilations of people parting ways with their families at the airport. the unbearing tactic of having to turn around and put one foot infront of the other despite hearing the cries and pleas from the person behind you.
you cherish his face, tracing your eyes down every feature, almost memorizing him. immediately once you turn around, you hear his chants, spoken with his hoarse voice. with each step you take, you hear your heart falling apart slowly, brick by brick.
" baby, don't forget to eat well! "⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀" text me when you're on the plane, okay? "⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀" if anything ever happens, please call me, okay baby? " ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀" i'm so proud of you yn! " ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀" if you ever feel like a stranger— text me. i will never be your stranger. " ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀" i love you so much yn, please stay safe. "
and just like that, you had left.
left the city you fought so hard to keep close to your heart— though none of it mattered now. all you can do is stay calm and fight on the world seoul had to offer for you.
you quickly realize seoul was the other half of the horizon you had always wanted to explore. your university, it's beautiful. the 7/11 around the corner, the 4 story library, and your apartment which sat in your complex, waiting for you.
of course, you hadn't forgotten about jay. you texted him in between every class, and you called him when you got home late, when you needed someone to talk to. he always answered, never missing a beat.
though as time went on, you felt this cycle reoccuring over and over again. it felt repetitive— staged. it no longer felt natural. you acknowledge that part of this could have been because he was halfway across the world with no other way of reaching you, you felt alone even though you were in love.
you didn't have anyone else; hell that was far from what you were experiencing. every night after your part-time, you'd come home and lay on your bed wondering if jay was happy, if he was eating out with his friends all the time still, or if he had found someone else to bathe his joy in. that's what you were scared about.
being so far from him, you started to let the distance settle in, it was impossibly painful but you couldn't do anything about it.
he stopped picking up all your daily calls; stopped texting back within the minute, and stopped mailing you letters. you thought it was work. we're all busy, aren't we? he told you it was work, so you believed it.
but part of you always knew in the back of your mind that, it was because of how draining this was.
with a heavy heart and shaking hands, you decide to let him go, to erase yourself from his world.
some would call it a "fresh new start," but for you, it was your love story cut short.
after deleting all of your previous social media and blocking him on everything, your world dimmed a little; it became quiet. a silence you were never quite used to, a silence you didn't want to get used to.
you'd stay up at night, wondering if this was the right decision. you'd replay your old videos, clips of you and him laying on the benches in central park; clips of you both walking around at MoMa.
a gallery full of memories, pictures, videos. they were all him, you skimmed through them every night. no matter how badly you tried to delete him from your life to save the pain, you couldn't. every turn around the corner, every song reminded you of him.
you began to live your life in a haze— almost subconscious. you lived robotically, nothing like the life you used to have.
just like that, 4 whole years had passed. 4 years of not speaking to him, hearing his voice, seeing his face. although it wasn't his fault, it was yours, you made this verdict.
" Guns N' Roses 2025 World Tour "
you lept from your seat, the band that you had loved since you were a kid. the band that sat in company with you when things got hard, the band that you and jay bonded over. this was your chance to see them after years of hiatus.
you scrolled through the dates,
' europe . . . london, uk. . . asia . . . thailand, bangkok . . ' your eyes scanned the image on your phone.
finally, you paused at the united states— New York. your favorite band was coming to the state that you had loved more than anything in the world. you hadn't planned to go back so quickly, you wanted to see if the job market here was good, if the living quarters in other provinces were suitable as well.
but the urge to see them was greater than anything in your mind at that moment, and so you booked the plane tickets. you booked the concert tickets, and surprisingly, scored a pretty decent general admission ticket. you triumphed, finally being able to live out the dream you had longed for since you were a kid.
as you got off the plane, you surveyed your surroundings. you were in New York again— the city you knew like the palm of your hand, the city that changed everything. when you got off the subway, immediately inhaling the familiar cent of brand new lipstick and smoked cigars.
you trace your steps back to your mom's house, the same neighborhood.
honestly, it looked like it hadn't changed much. the same chalk stain on the concrete, the same kids playing in the yard, except now they were so much older. even the scent that lingered was the same.
you were home.
you greet your parents, surprising them with a warm hug, and teary eyes. you quickly settle all of your belongings into your old room, looking out the window at the New York skyline— soaking it all in. you're back, back in the city where you saw your past flicker and your future glow.
you fell asleep that night wondering about all of your friends, how were they? where were they? you hadn't caught up with anyone yet, you hardly opened your social media. you lift your phone up in the darkness of your room and you open Instagram.
immediately, you're caught up with hundreds of notifications you never bothered to check within the last few months, hundreds of childhood friends asking " yn! your studies are finally over, when will you come back? "
though some of them asked you where you had gone. " yn, are you doing okay? jay can't find you. please contact him as soon as possible, " and others had asked if you were attending the Guns N' Roses world tour, " yn, are you going to the Bangkok stop?! me and my friends wanted to go! "
little did they know you were here, in New York.
that night you slept realizing everyone had still remembered you, you felt like an imebecile. ghosting everyone, disappearing from their lives like you had never owned that spot in their heart. you didn't deserve them— especially not jay. you told yourself the ultimatum was that you would force yourself to never see him again, you had to save yourself the pain, the suffering. but most importantly— the guilt.
the guilt of deleting a 6 year relationship from your life like it meant nothing to you. sure you knew it came with heartache, you knew there was absolutely on way you'd be forgiven after this, but that's what you wanted. you wanted him to let go of you, of this. you couldn't be here for him, you wanted him to be with someone who acknowledged his presence. someone who would drive him home when he was drunk, someone who would cook for him and someone who wasn't a thousand miles away in a different continent, ghosting him.
the day of the concert you awoke to quiet. it was peaceful, you heard your parents chatting downstairs, making breakfast, talking about how excited they were to have you back. you were too, beyond ecstatic.
you quickly got ready. your regular routine you perfected in korea— shower, makeup, hair, outfit.
you went out of the way to buy a cute rock-punk styled outfit in korea for the concert before you came back to New York, you thought it fit well with the vibe.
you ate the breakfast like you had been starved for the past 5 years, it was so nice to finally taste the familiar cooking again. you swore you could almost cry.
you waved goodbye to your parents and made your way to the subway station, just like before. you had your phone out, looking for directions of the venue. when you finally got off, you stood right infront of the concert venue, hands clutching your phone like it was a distant dream. it felt unreal, to say the least.
the rest of the day mainly consisted of buying merch, buying snacks, and waiting hours in line to get your general admission wrist bands. after the chaos, you were finally allowed into the venue.
and god, was it huge. it was bigger than you had imagined, a venue where you would hear your favorite artists' music rebound off the walls.
you caught a pretty good standing spot in general admission, drink in hand, phone fully charged and storage cleared.
you had briefly browsed through the setlist beforehand, all amazing songs. as the singers came out and the set started, you had noticed that more people came piling in from all sides. you looked down and realized you were at the very front, clutching onto the border of the barricade walls. " damn, i'm lucky. " you thought, and laughed to yourself.
when the first notes of "November Rain" were played, you found your heart recognizing that song before your mind did. the song you and jay danced to in the kitchen, the song you would play together when nights got lonely. this song was everything to you. you started to sway your head and hum along to the tune with everyone in the audience.
somewhere in the midst of all the music, you hear sniffling. almost. . . crying? you open your eyes and scan to the right, going on your tippy toes, wondering if anyone had been hurt.
then you swung your head to the left, scanning the audience; before your eyes landed on him.
it was jay.
he had come.
and it was him; it was him who was tearing up to the song.
your heart stopped, you had never rehearsed for this moment, where you'd ever be seeing him again. you weren't sure how to react, till the tears started flowing and your legs started bottoming out.
in that moment, you saw his head snap towards you, looking in your direction,
and then his eyes met yours.
you couldn't quite grasp the look in his eyes, but it was enough to break you.
as soon as the set ended for "November Rain," you pushed past everyone and quietly left the venue, legs almost bottoming out.
and then you heard it, his voice. " Y/N! WAIT UP! "
it was jay. fuck—- his voice made you want to swallow your heartache and point a gun at yourself. it was broken; he was broken. but somehow, all you did was run and push faster.
when you broke past the clear glass doors of the venue, you turned the corner and dived into the nearest alleyway. you had always been scared of the alleys in New York, not to mention at this egregious hour.
just as soon as you thought you had lost him, you hear footsteps.
and then he appeared, infront of you.
he was clutching onto his heaving chest, beads of sweat laced on his forehead, tears streaming down his face.
you were surprised, he still had the same face you fell in love with years ago.
" yn— yn please, don't run anymore. " he said as he inched closer to you, trying to close the distance slowly, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.
" jay. . . ? " you huffed out, short of breath.
as he moved closer to you, your body stopped, you couldn't move, it felt suffocating.
" please don't run, "
" . . i missed you. "
you hadn't noticed it but unshed tears were already glistening from your eyes.
" jay, i- "
" please tell me you're real. " he cried out. and for fucks sake— that was your breaking point. your legs bottomed out, your hand reached to hold onto your heart, weeping out whilst staring at the concrete floor.
immediately, he closes the distance between you both, getting on his knees infront of you and pulling you into his chest. he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to his chest in a fetus position, cradling you. he ran his fingers through your hair, with his best attempt to calm you down.
on the floor of a random alley in New York, not quite the reunion you had imagined.
" yn, where were you? " he whispered in your ear, arms still laced around your torso.
" jay, please don't do this. " you attempted to pull back from him, but he saw through you. in return, he forced you back into his arms, pulling on your even harder.
" yn, you don't need to explain right now— but please, please don't leave me. please, i don't wanna be alone again. "
" will you hold me? let me hold you? that's all i need. yn, i'm begging you. " he sobbed, voice croaking and broken.
and you did, you cried into each others arms.
and for the first time in long time— you didn't feel the need to be strong just for yourself.
though deep down, you knew you didn't deserve any of it, still. his forgiveness, his love, his touch. as selfish as it may sound, it was the last thing on your mind.
even for someone as "selfish", you let him hold you.
as the cities final promise, you let him sink his face into your shoulders like before, and you whispered his name like you were struggling to come to terms with his existence.
you were finally whole— not literally, but with him, it was the closest you'd ever get.
・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・
tysm gais for reading my fic hehe ! ! i'll be opening a perm taglist for this fic since it will come in more parts, so please comment if you'd like to be added ˙ᵕ˙ love u all sm
im so sorry for not updating “blinded fate” for over two weeks . . college is beating my ass into the ground and I recently just got a new job plus being a gom for pc’s is hard . . forgive me . .
hi everyone , thank you for supporting me and @h3vanlee for blinded fate, you guys mean a lot to us. the recent news of heeseung leaving is devastating, and unfortunately i will not post chapter 8, at least for a long time if not at all. i’ll be off social media for a while, im healing, @h3vanlee will be healing too.
take care, i can’t promise that we’ll come back, but i love you.
i want to take this time to talk about something that has been the reason for not posting.
first of all, let’s talk about heeseung leaving the group. when i found out about the news, i was already in a tough spot. college, dancing, and my overall mental health has been weighing me down tremendously. i constantly felt alone amongst being with friends who care which has been portrayed in my stories. i have been an enhypen stan for 6 years, my love for the art of music and storytelling growing along with it. i chose my career in digital media wanting to become a creative director in the future to be a part of such a fascinating team of individuals who bring storytelling to music. heeseung was someone i looked up to. his talented voice and hardworking mentality motivated me throughout the years to do the same no matter the hardships. although these news are devastating, i hope everyone will continue to support heeseung and enhypen as seven.
writing has been something i take pride in, writing in ways that portray something that i’ve felt, wanted, and a sense of comfort. however, there were too many instances where the bad times outweigh the good — today being an example. i cannot promise i will continue to write in the future. however, i have a project i am still willing to continue: a sunghoon fanfiction. i cannot promise when it will come out, but i can promise it will once i have taken the time to not only heal after the news with heeseung, but to take care of myself. this means that i will be taking a very long break from social media.
i want to thank everyone who has supported my stories, especially blinded fate. take care.
im so sorry for not updating “blinded fate” for over two weeks . . college is beating my ass into the ground and I recently just got a new job plus being a gom for pc’s is hard . . forgive me . .
hi everyone , thank you for supporting me and @h3vanlee for blinded fate, you guys mean a lot to us. the recent news of heeseung leaving is devastating, and unfortunately i will not post chapter 8, at least for a long time if not at all. i’ll be off social media for a while, im healing, @h3vanlee will be healing too.
take care, i can’t promise that we’ll come back, but i love you.
im so sorry for not updating “blinded fate” for over two weeks . . college is beating my ass into the ground and I recently just got a new job plus being a gom for pc’s is hard . . forgive me . .
𝜗ৎ ── where you’re on your period and your subtle way of saying “this week will be hell” is by asking your boyfriend riki one simple question . .
초콜릿을 드세요 . . scene ₊ᰔ bf ! riki x reader relationship fluff teasing kissing hickies suggestive? petnames wc684
麦星 ‘s ── library
• mai’s 注記 ── finally posted a proper riki fic woohoooo! don’t know what took me so long since he’s literally my bias and i made almost everyone else in the group a scene . . . hope u all enjoy ! p.s : thank you for showing so much love to jake’s + hee’s scene fics huhu
────────────────────────
it was finally your day off, which meant you and your boyfriend riki would be spending the whole day together. now that your days were filled with college lectures and his was filled with dance practices, the chances of the both of you having a free day on the same day were very low, but never zero.
you both settled on watching a movie because you both agreed neither of you two would’ve been able to focus on anything more. soon it just became white noise as you both of you either scrolled on your phones or just rested your eyes.
your legs were planted on his lap on the other end of the couch when you felt a warmth between your thighs spill.
“shit,” you instinctively whispered, which brought him to cock an eyebrow at you and smile.
“what is it baby?” leaning over towards you, brushing your thigh with his hand.
you blushed at the contact, not because it was new or because you were shy, but because you realized you just started your period. you quickly grabbed the pillow from under your head and placed it above your abdomen, causing him to retract his hand.
a confused expression crossed his face, but didn’t think nothing of it as he hovered over you, brushing your loose hair strands aside. as if he didn’t already make you blush like a maniac, this definitely got something out of you he hadn’t seen in a while.
“you’re so cute when you’re like this,” he said, followed by a kiss, “tell me what’s wrong.”
you shook your head, eye contact still wandering far off to whatever you could focus on.
“not gonna talk to me?” he questioned, but still continued his movements, causing the couch to creek.
he caressed your cheek and made his way down your chin, making you look at him as he planted another kiss. they started to travel down your neck, slow but hungry. his hand then creeped up between the pillow you placed and your clothed warmth, not moving just placing where his hand rested.
you let out a low groan, almost forgetting the situation you were in. you tapped his shoulder and tried prying away from his chest, “wait…riki,” your voice breathy and slurred.
he hummed in respond, still focused on the situation he started — hot wet marks bruising on your neck.
“riki,” you said with a little more clarity this time, because if you couldn’t stop him now you wouldn’t be able to stop him ever.
he sat up, searching your eyes for any discomfort, “sorry did i go too far?” his demeanor changed in an heartbeat.
“no no baby it’s just,” you paused, embarrassed by the thought of it. though you were together for almost a year and nothing knew came out of talking about female hygiene — seeing him after a long time of distance made your tolerance for his presence almost unbearable, causing you to become flushed easily. you’ve forgotten just how much of a flirt your boyfriend really was.
“what is it?” reassured but still searching for any discomfort.
you finally looked up at him, his hair fell perfectly between his brows, shoulders broad and exposed thanks to that black tank top you gave him last christmas, and his lips painted a soft swollen red from the marks he’d left you.
“do you have chocolate?”
he looked at you not saying a word for a second, then smiled, which then turned into an uncontrollable laughter. he giggled, showing his boxy smile, “is that what you’re so worried about?”
you rolled your eyes throwing the pillow at the boy, “whatever, just answer the damn question.”
his laughter lowed to a gentle smile, kissing the peck of your forehead. he hugged you and grabbed a weighted blanket from under the couch, a practiced habit he grew to learn whenever this time of the month came.
he made sure your position was comfortable, tucking the ends of the blanket around your body. he then threw on his grey hoodie and grabbed his keys from the counter.
두 번째 . . smau texts 𝜗ৎ repaired friendship with riki , turns into something unidentified ? — ( m.list )
scenario : riki’s mind is still filled with what happened during the date and hasn’t been able to sleep wells since — so he decides to take matters into his own hands . .
𝜗ৎ ── where you’re on your period and your subtle way of saying “this week will be hell” is by asking your boyfriend riki one simple question . .
초콜릿을 드세요 . . scene ₊ᰔ bf ! riki x reader relationship fluff teasing kissing hickies suggestive? petnames wc684
麦星 ‘s ── library
• mai’s 注記 ── finally posted a proper riki fic woohoooo! don’t know what took me so long since he’s literally my bias and i made almost everyone else in the group a scene . . . hope u all enjoy ! p.s : thank you for showing so much love to jake’s + hee’s scene fics huhu
────────────────────────
it was finally your day off, which meant you and your boyfriend riki would be spending the whole day together. now that your days were filled with college lectures and his was filled with dance practices, the chances of the both of you having a free day on the same day were very low, but never zero.
you both settled on watching a movie because you both agreed neither of you two would’ve been able to focus on anything more. soon it just became white noise as you both of you either scrolled on your phones or just rested your eyes.
your legs were planted on his lap on the other end of the couch when you felt a warmth between your thighs spill.
“shit,” you instinctively whispered, which brought him to cock an eyebrow at you and smile.
“what is it baby?” leaning over towards you, brushing your thigh with his hand.
you blushed at the contact, not because it was new or because you were shy, but because you realized you just started your period. you quickly grabbed the pillow from under your head and placed it above your abdomen, causing him to retract his hand.
a confused expression crossed his face, but didn’t think nothing of it as he hovered over you, brushing your loose hair strands aside. as if he didn’t already make you blush like a maniac, this definitely got something out of you he hadn’t seen in a while.
“you’re so cute when you’re like this,” he said, followed by a kiss, “tell me what’s wrong.”
you shook your head, eye contact still wandering far off to whatever you could focus on.
“not gonna talk to me?” he questioned, but still continued his movements, causing the couch to creek.
he caressed your cheek and made his way down your chin, making you look at him as he planted another kiss. they started to travel down your neck, slow but hungry. his hand then creeped up between the pillow you placed and your clothed warmth, not moving just placing where his hand rested.
you let out a low groan, almost forgetting the situation you were in. you tapped his shoulder and tried prying away from his chest, “wait…riki,” your voice breathy and slurred.
he hummed in respond, still focused on the situation he started — hot wet marks bruising on your neck.
“riki,” you said with a little more clarity this time, because if you couldn’t stop him now you wouldn’t be able to stop him ever.
he sat up, searching your eyes for any discomfort, “sorry did i go too far?” his demeanor changed in an heartbeat.
“no no baby it’s just,” you paused, embarrassed by the thought of it. though you were together for almost a year and nothing knew came out of talking about female hygiene — seeing him after a long time of distance made your tolerance for his presence almost unbearable, causing you to become flushed easily. you’ve forgotten just how much of a flirt your boyfriend really was.
“what is it?” reassured but still searching for any discomfort.
you finally looked up at him, his hair fell perfectly between his brows, shoulders broad and exposed thanks to that black tank top you gave him last christmas, and his lips painted a soft swollen red from the marks he’d left you.
“do you have chocolate?”
he looked at you not saying a word for a second, then smiled, which then turned into an uncontrollable laughter. he giggled, showing his boxy smile, “is that what you’re so worried about?”
you rolled your eyes throwing the pillow at the boy, “whatever, just answer the damn question.”
his laughter lowed to a gentle smile, kissing the peck of your forehead. he hugged you and grabbed a weighted blanket from under the couch, a practiced habit he grew to learn whenever this time of the month came.
he made sure your position was comfortable, tucking the ends of the blanket around your body. he then threw on his grey hoodie and grabbed his keys from the counter.
scenario: ira comes up with a plan to finally bring her friends back together
- ‘,✄ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
WRITTEN
“you ready to go?” heeseung asks as ira, as she unexpectedly buckled her seatbelt and slammed the car door a little too hard. it startled him, causing heeseung to glance at her for a slight second. while observing, he noticed that her eyebrows were furrowed, her cheeks were tinted with a rosey red, and he could tell that she got ready in a rush considering she kept tugging the loose strands of her ponytail.
“you okay?”
“yeah sorry, could we hurry up? I’m afraid my manager is going to yell at me again if im a minute late,” she said, though she felt bad for lying because really her manager adored her and would never raise their tone towards ira. heeseung noticed her eyes gleamed with mischief, preparing for something that was going to come, but he never questioned it.
“oh yeah of course, i’ll try my best,” and with that, he stepped on the gas pedal.
ira’s eyes wandered outside the widows, looking for anything to distract her mind until the time hit three. she kept checking her watch, fiddling with her thumbs, even tapping her exposed knees. she prayed that her plan would work, though she never thought she would find herself in this situation.
the tension felt too thick, too dull, she never knew that a silly little misunderstanding could cause the distance of their falling out. the three of them were her closest friends, mingled through her messy tangled life. being with them was like a breath of fresh air and though she hated to admit it, she wanted to see riki. she wanted to see him be himself again. mai stepping in their lives has brought the both of them light they never thought they needed, especially riki.
heeseung was friendly, getting to know him each time he picked her up to drop her off at work was something she surprisingly looked forward to. though ira didn’t know much about him, he could tell that his friendship with mai was valuable, that it was worth saving. so it was up to her.
her chest felt heavy with each stop light heeseung passed.
after what felt like years, they finally arrived. she stepped out of heeseung’s car, her heart beating faster by the second. heeseung, like the gentleman he is, opened the door for her. she scanned the cafe, her eyes gleaming with hope once she saw riki leaning against the counter on his phone.
heeseung narrowed his eyes, immediately noticing riki. “i thought you said he wasn’t coming to work?”
she smirked, grabbing a hold of his arm, dragging him towards a table. heeseung, being the love struck boy he was, blushed at the sudden touch. she sat him on a chair, turning to riki to do the same. the two boys stared each other down, anger boiling for all the wrong reasons. it was a funny scene, the table consisting of a horrendous stare down and a girl who looks way too happy to be there.
“why is he here?” heeseung and riki say simultaneously, turning to ira, their eyes burning into her soul.
she isn’t bothered — rather she’s extremely entertained. “you’ll see! we aren’t at full attendance yet.”
just then, the bell rang, signifying a new customer. ira didn’t need to look, knowing exactly who walked through that door. she quickly stood up, running towards the one and only mai before she could walk out that door. she paid no attention to mai’s protest, sitting her down in between heeseung and riki. ira felt proud of herself, her plan working.
she crossed her arms, observing the three. they were obviously either angry or extremely uncomfortable. heeseung was the first to speak. “i don’t have time for this.” he prepared to stand up, but, of course, ira didn’t let it happen.
“sit.” ira demanded. her tone was different. mai and heeseung have never heard her talk so seriously. riki, however, knew very well. and he knew to never cross that line. he never wants another black eye ever again.
heeseung immediately sat, his posture straightening in the process.
“how do i put this simply…” she says calmly. out of nowhere, she suddenly slammed her hand on the table, the sound ringing around the cafe. her three friends jumped at the sound, their fear increasing. “get your shit together.”
“you,” she points to riki, “stop being a fucking coward and talk to mai.” she points to heeseung, “you,” then points to mai, “and you. are you really going to let a petty ass argument over something that’s not true ruin over a decade of friendship?”
they look down, and ira sighs, seeing her best friends in such an emotional state. “look. you guys are important to me. and seeing you all break over something so stupid? i couldn’t let it slide. mai, heeseung. your friendship is something i admire. it’s normal for friends to fight, but this? over something that someone said? i don’t know the details and i won’t ask for it, but please, you guys.”
there was silence, no one at the table speaking for at least 5 minutes. mai gulped and turned to heeseung, deciding to speak. “i guess…we said things that we didn’t mean. i was just…hurting. riki ghosting me got me really emotional, so i guess i took it out on you. and i shouldn’t have done that.”
heeseung stayed quiet, longer than he should’ve. ira began to speak. “heeseung.”
“what?” he said. “heeseung.” she said again, but more pressing. they stared at each other, as if they were talking through their minds. he sighed, breaking eye contact and turned to mai.
“i said things that i didn’t mean, too. i was just mad. but…ira’s right. you kinda… mean a lot to me. as a friend. losing you over something stupid kinda…sucked.”
“i never planned on leaving. i was lying when i said that,” mai responded.
ira smiled at the two, their friendship forming once again. she turned to riki who’s head was still down, his hair covering his eyes. “riki.” he looked up, his eyes glassy. he looked miserable and it broke her inside. she tilted her head in mai’s direction, signaling for him to talk to her.
his head turns to mai and his brain malfunctioned. he hasn’t seen her in days. “m-mai..” he stuttered. mai turns, her smile dropped at him. that did not help his confidence.
“i…i’m sorry.”
“for what?”
he gulped, feeling his ears heat up. “i’m sorry for ghosting you. i was…fuck. i was scared. i was scared that i wasn’t good enough for you. i thought heeseung was better than me and i didn’t know what to do. i thought…i thought you liked him more. i’m sorry. for running away.”
“riki, i like you. sure heeseung’s been with me all my life, but it’s you i wanna be with romantically.”
“…really?”
mai chuckled, finally smiling. god, he loved her smile. “yes riki. it’s you i want. don’t listen to that guy at the restaurant.”
ira finally felt light. her friends are smiling once again, so she can smile, too. “okay!” she clapped, “riki and i need to get to work, so see you two later? maybe you guys should hang out again.”
“i’m down! hee?” mai smiles at heeseung’s direction. “yea. sure,” he responded, also smiling.
they walk out the door, bickering and laughing. everything was back to normal. but what she was really happy about was that riki was finally back at work. her labor was finally subtracted by what felt like a billion.
“hey, i’ve been meaning to ask,” riki spoke.
she hummed, putting her apron on.
“that guy…who comes to cafe once in a while. what’s his name?”
“which guy?”
“the one you think is cute. he flirts with you.”
ira blushed, knowing exactly who he’s talking about. “sunghoon?”
“…yea.”
“what about him?”
“what do you see in him?”
she’s not sure why he’s asking such questions. but she doesn’t mind it. “he’s just…nice. i doubt he’d finally ask me out though.”
riki stays quiet. he knew ira has had a thing for sunghoon for a long time, but the day he saw him at the restaurant, he started having doubts. they’ve been in the flirting stage for quite some time, so he didn’t want to ruin it for her. especially since ira hasn’t had a successful relationship in a long time. but the pit in his stomach started to grow larger.
𝜗ৎ ── when your heavy mornings are filled with reminiscent memories of your ex boyfriend riki
너의 한 조각 . . scene ₊ᰔ ex boyfriend ! riki x reader reminiscing heartbreak mentions of burnout wc658
麦星 ‘s ── library
• mai’s 注記 ── this was the intro to my unfinished riki fic i made last year and you can tell LMAO . . . anyways here’s a depressing drabble to keep you guys on you’re toes
────────────────────────
everyday becomes a battle between what your heart wanted and what your mind knew. you woke up instinctively reaching for the phone on the nightstand beside you, because your body is so used to texting riki goodmorning texts the first thing you woke up. blinking slowly, your eyes adjusting to the bright light shining on your face, secretly hoping there was a text from him.
nothing.
your mind wanders back to riki’s skin, his touch still lingering on yours as your body naturally craved his warmth. his soft hair which used to caress the nape of your neck when he’d gently pressed his chest against your back, wrapping his arms around you. the smell of his grey hoodie that he used to wear whenever you two went on night walks, now folded into a corner of your bedroom, untouched and starting to collect dust. you glanced at it from the bed, memories shooting back as if they happened yesterday.
it’s 6:00am, you had no time for this. you sat up opening the phone to pick your daily playlist that you listened to every morning. stumbling upon shirts and jeans that end up on the floor. you quickly take a shower, change into clothes, then put on light makeup to make yourself look at least a little more put together before going to school.
it all felt too repetitive, mindless routine. ever since you two broke up a month ago, everyday felt more dull without a slight hint of bliss or change. though you weren’t sure if it was better than arguing with riki everyday. there was always some stupid reason either one of you would be upset about, whether it was something you said or he did. you could see it was draining riki’s sense of self. summer days filled with date ideas turned into a battle of who would ignore the other person the longest. moments at school where you’d sneak out of class just to walk through the hallways then later kiss under the bleachers turned into arguments outside on the baseball field. endless nights talking on the phone, sending each other sweet messages turned into bitter petty insults.
he was no longer the person who knew how to comfort your overwhelming thoughts and impulsive behavior, and you were no longer the person that had the ability to stay when he was hurt; which led you to believe that you were the one who could’ve possibly caused this version of the relationship to be the end result. no, you knew you were the one to blame. you couldn’t recall what your last argument was, but just by looking at his teary eyes and your broken sense of self that you could no longer gather, you knew you had no other choice. the two of you had dated for almost two years, january 30th would’ve been the anniversary, which is only three weeks away from today.
it was hard enough to go to school, plastering a smile on your face just so that you wouldn’t look just as pathetic as you did at home. Not to mention you saw him everyday at school. again, all routine.
“im leaving now,” you said loud enough for mom to hear but not loud enough for dad to wake up.
“make sure to bring a jacket, it’s raining.”
tugging on the black suede coat riki bought for you last winter, you resentfully slip my arms through the sleeves making your skin crawl at the thought of him. mom walked you to the door carrying a lunch bag she prepared, waking up at the crack of dawn just so you wouldn’t have to spend money on school lunch
she gave you a reassuring look with her lips lighting pressing against each other, recognizing the coat you haven’t touched in months, “take care of yourself y/n,” planting a kiss on your forehead then handing you the lunch bag.
scenario: a glimpse into riki's mind after the tragic events with mai and that "dumbass jerk", sunghoon . . .
WRITTEN
he couldn’t describe the ache in his chest when he dropped off mai without saying a word. he had everything to say, with nothing to prove but his silence.
riki had stopped coming to work overall, avoiding any possible interaction he might’ve come across with her. it pained him in a way he never really had a feel for prior to meeting her. he thought it was stupid, that it was his fault for letting his feelings go too far before actually knowing her history. he should have known from the start.
he thought to text her back, as any normal human being with common sense would — but his pride, his ego, and his boyish mind told him otherwise. he went with what he did to get his mind off of things that had no business of putting stress on the poor boy: drink.
ignoring the 38 missed calls from ira yelling at him to come to work, 80 spam emails, and of course Mai’s messages, he relentlessly asked sunoo and jake to meet at their usual spot. and to no avail — of course, considering the escapade he caused the last time they went drinking — they declined without a second thought.
there, he found himself at the door of mr. hung’s late hour pub later that night.
“riki! my boy, how’ve you been?” the old man with a pepper shaded beard grinned behind the bar, “haven’t been here in a minute yeah?”
he simply nodded, head low and groaned as he pulled up a chair, “something heavy mr.hung.” the man chuckled, seeing this arrogant boy grow up to be a suitable young man, showing up to his bar late at night, seeing this scene countless times. they’ve become family, and have created too many memories to keep track.
mr.hung poured the only thing he knew that would help, and ironically was the only thing riki asked for whenever he went to go drink at his pub — a hard cold shot of whiskey.
as he took the glass, he drank with one swift motion before setting it down with a sturdy thump. he looked at the boy, slung over the seat with his legs spread on opposite sides of the chair, hair barely touched yet fell so restlessly against his skin.
“It’s a girl huh?”
riki shot a look of realization, but quickly looked away, “what makes you say that?”
he chuckled, “i wasn’t born yesterday, i know when a man is heartbroken.”
his remarks left riki in a scoffed position, not knowing weather to bandage his apparent open wound or give in to the man, proving his point. But if there was one thing about Mr. Hung’s and riki’s relationship, it’s that there was never a moment where words were enough, they understood each other through body language, how the slurred words became an incomprehensible sentence. so he laughed, nudging the man because there were no needs for words in this case, he already knew.
“pass me another shot.”
𓂃₊ ⊹
riki lazily unlocks his apartment door after a long and lonely day. he’s been conflicted for more than he’d like, while on top of that, his friends would rather get run over by the nearest train than to drink with him. he was ready to just lay down and sleep.
he shook his shoes off, but he noticed something different. these aren’t my shoes, he thought. his drunken state led him to believe an intruder was inside his apartment. he grabbed the nearest item he could find, which was a random book he had never read on the counter, and started walking ever so slowly around his home. his eyes turned to his bedroom, the door slightly cracked open.
bingo.
he aggressively kicked the door open, ready to throw the book at the intruder, but he immediately froze, seeing his one and only cousin, unfazed by the book about to be thrown at her, folding his clothes.
“ira, what the fuck are you doing here?” riki says angrily, dropping the book on the floor.
she ignored his question, not looking at him. “what the fuck are you doing not comin to work?”
he dramatically sighed, rubbing his temple with his two fingers. “shut up, my head hurts. your bossy attitude is making it worse.”
ira stopped folding his clothes, narrowing her eyes at him. “did you go drinking again? i told you not to bother mr. hung during late hours, rik.”
riki waved his hand, dismissing her. “chill, i only had a couple drinks.”
“you say that as if we didn’t grow up together. you’re such a bad liar.”
he sat on the bed next to ira, watching her continue to fold his clothes. she would always take care of him, even when they were kids. it made sense since she was 3 years older. he’s not sure how he’d live without her. he sighed, looking down. “look, just give me some time to get my shit together.”
ira chuckled, standing up to place his clothes in his dresser. “tell that to the manager, not me.” once she finished, she turned around observing her younger cousin. “tell me what’s going on, riki.”
he bit his lip, the words daring to come out. but he was too drunk to care about what he says. “i… I’ve never liked someone as much as i like mai. it’s always girls who chase after me.” ira rolled her eyes. “there goes your big ego again.”
she sat down next to him on the bed, trying to observe his expressions. “let me finish,” he paused, fidgeting with his fingers. “i ran because i got scared of the fact that heeseung and mai are always so close, i mean thats not a bad thing it's just… a guy at the restaurant.”
“what guy?”
he scoffed, running his fingers through his hair. “fuck if i know. i just know he goes to the same school as them. anyways, he said something along the lines of thinking her and heeseung have been dating and i just…didn’t know what to do.”
she shook her head, disagreeing. “but they aren’t, and there’s nothing between them. you should know that since she agreed to go on the date you asked her to go out on.”
riki laid down, his arms sprawled on his sheets. “i miss her.”
“then go talk to her.”
“i’m too drunk for this,” he groaned, placing his arm on top of his head, “get out of my apartment.”
“we live in the same complex,” ira deadpanned.
“i’m taking your spare key.”
ira left, leaving riki alone to his thoughts once again. he will talk to her, but not now. not when he’s a ball of emotions.
however, he’s not sure when all of these emotions will calm down.
➛ as if surviving on McDonald’s and a moldy apartment near campus wasn’t enough, your shady bank starts cursing you out for being broke. Oof… yeah, this is gonna be a long ride.
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