Rizzoli and Isles is actually a show about a Queerplatonic Relationship.
So, I always have shipped Rizzles. There are many MANY ways in which these are queer coded characters with a heavy romantic subtext, that a lot of the time honestly bleeds into the maintext. A lot of the actions and dialogue that we would typically interpret as romantic, especially between a hetero pairing, certainly works for this show.Â
But I did a re-watch of the show recently, and while I still ship them romantically, I actually think what is being portrayed between them is something else. They are DEFINITELY more than friends; I mean they are life partners in every sense of the word. But the kind of dynamic that is CANONICALLY portrayed between Maura and Jane, is in fact, a Queerplatonic Relationship.
So hereâs a working definition of the term for those who arenât familiar with it:Â
Queerplatonic relationships and queerplatonic partnerships are committed intimate relationships which are not romantic in nature. They may differ from usual close friendships by having more explicit commitment, validation, status, structure, and norms, similar to a conventional romantic relationship
I have actually experienced something like this, (and yes Iâm going to get a bit anecdotally personal here; Iâll try not to be too long winded, but itâs relevant, I promise lol):Â
I had an (unspoken) kind of relationship like this with my best friend in my early/mid 20s. We have been best friends since I was 11, but something definitely shifted when we became adults, and I have to say, I ended up, quite unexpectedly, being deeply in love with my best friendâŚplatonically. I didnât want to date her. I didnât want to sleep with her. But, I was totally devoted to her and we were each otherâs person for years. We were each otherâs assumed plus one for everything, we regularly did dinner dates, we gave each other super sentimental cards and specialized gifts on birthdays, we also regularly did domestic shit together like grocery shopping, errands, chores, house projects; you name it, we had it/did it. I mean we were even each otherâs phone background for a while lmao. We never lived together, but we had keys to each otherâs places.Â
Now a lot of this shit can happen and does happen in standard friendships (maybe not the phone background thing; that was super gay ngl hahaha), but the thing that made this different was the level of assumed partnership going on between us. And theâŚenergy. We would stare deeply into each otherâs eyes. We had that magnetic kind of magic with each other, like no matter where the other is in the room, we find our way back to each other. And people literally perceived us as a couple. Hell, my other friends teased us about it.Â
Any of this sound familiar?
Oh and I DO find her to be attractive and even sexy. And we flirted (still do lolol) a LOT.Â
But I didnât ever reallyâŚ..actually want to have sex with her. Not that I wouldâve even necessarily been opposed to it, because we were so close, but it just, wasnât ever a desire for me.
This was interesting to experience, because I do identify as a lesbian, I have been romantically attracted to people, sexually attracted to people, and the two, as society expects, do usually go hand in hand for me. But with her, I honestly couldâve seen forever; like being exactly as we were, as life partners, I couldâve even seen myself raising kids with her, and I would have been TOTALLY, GENUINELY content with it, âcause my relationship with her filled me up in a way nothing else has. This was confusing as all hell to me for a long time, because I didnât have a name for this until recently when I learned about the concept of Queerplatonic Relationships which again supersede friendship and often are life partnerships, but arenât inherently romantic or sexual, even though they are quite deep. I actually think QPRs speak to that âlimitlessâ âotherwise undefinableâ kind of relationship dynamic.Â
Sooo - and I promise Iâm wrapping my story up - when my bff met her current boyfriend, which is her first super serious adult relationship, I didnât quite experience jealousy, I mean I always envisioned a romantic partnership for her, and I still want that for me! BuuuutâŚmy feelings were complicated because itâs likeâŚI had to mourn what I lost, as our dynamic inherently changed, and the fact that I wasnât her person anymore. Weird thing to process indeed. Also *ahem* SOUND FAMILIAR?
Without getting too carried away here (oh who am I kidding, I already have đ) for comparisonâs sake, I actually went through a crazy ass heartbreak with someone, also while I was in my mid 20s; someone to whom I WAS romantically, sexually, spiritually, connected and attracted. I mean I was IN LOVE with this woman and she broke my heart by not fully reciprocating my feelings and not wanting to be with me. I thought I was gonna die when we stopped talking. Hell, itâs been years and I still think about her.Â
But if you were to ask me who the true love. of. my. life. has been so farâŚIâd pick my best friend!Â
The funny thing is I think a LOT of women end up in these kinds of dynamics, ESPECIALLY queer women, maybe even more so queer women who form super close relationships to âstraightâ women (gotta put str8 in quotes âcauseâŚthis shit is inherently queer even though itâs not romantic/sexual). You all know what Iâm talking about; Youâd do anything for each other, thereâs chemistry, connection, and care, yet it doesnât quite fit into any box you try to give it. People read you as a couple. You know this about yourselves, and you justâŚaccept it. Because what you have is actually beyond any label. You know?
Anyway, I think thereâs actually something cool and radical about this and I know that queer people want and deserve romantic and sexual representation, but I think this IS an accurate kind of representation that happens all the time that isnât appropriately covered or discussed in media.
In hindsight, I think thatâs what really hooked me on R&I. I mean, I started watching âcause I thought they were lesbians, and I kept watching âcause I thought it would be canon! And yeah, I still think about what couldâve been with them: fanfiction is good for that. But why do I still watch the actual show? WellâŚI LIVED it.Â
Now: do I think that Maura and Jane often tip the scales a lilâ TOOOOO far in the explicitly gay direction on this show? Oh hell yes! Do I think you can interpret them as two people who are madly in love, romantically, with each other, yet are too scared to do anything about it? Oh hell yes! Like I said I do ship Rizzles. BUT, if Iâm honest about what is FULLY, CANONICALLY being portrayed, no subtext, ALL maintext: Itâs 10000% a QPR.Â
So no: Maura Isles and Jane Rizzoli are certainly not JUST friends. They arenât just colleagues, although their work relationship is just as powerful and awe inspiring as their personal one. They arenât really like sisters, although they can quarrel like siblings at times. They arenât truly romantic, although they are essentially life partners. They arenât in a sexual relationship with each other; not that it couldnât go there, but I also see how it wouldnât need to go there, and how that doesnât diminish the bond at all. They have something that I recognize -and something I think perhaps many of us recognize too- something beyond definition, because at the core of it they are true-blue soulmates who share a kind of unconditional love that is rarely found in ANY kind of relationship. If there is a definition that comes close to summing this kind of thing up: Queerplatonic Relationship is the answer!
Idk just felt like sharing this. Thanks for reading đ¤