😽 @ringo0135499 - Tumblr Blog

— Not So. Not So., Anne Sexton. From The Awful Rowing Toward God.

my favourite study method is asking everyone to pray for me

Being child-like and believing God is a beautiful thing. Don’t let anyone cause you to throw it away through natural knowledge and human reasoning.

God created the world by the word of God, the same word He wants us to believe, the same word that made us new creations. Of His own will He brought us forth by the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures. James 1.

In addiction's clasp, a father's plea, His spirit yearns for grace to set him free. His children pray with faith that never wanes, For God's healing touch to break his chains.

#addiction

allsadnshit

I will never get over how weird it feels to have tragic and emotional chapters of your life where you just also still go to work, and the grocery store, and see funny videos online all while feeling such paralyzing fear and heartache

life just goes on no matter what

elirluna

marcel the shell with shoes on (2021)

#we out here

uroko

西新宿花しょうぶ園兵庫作用

orca-soup

I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.

C.S. Lewis

wedarkacademia

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”

― Jamie Anderson

Junkieverdriet Mijn eeuwenoud, mijn levenslang junkieverdriet Van geboortepijn tot nu mijn eenzaamheid Die ik deel met duizenden nu ik weet wat ik weet: Dat de mens een naald is zoekend naar een ader Zoekend naar de kiespijn van zijn ver verleden. Junkieverdriet, bass-toon van deze tijd Waar de verschopte verschaalt in een dode hoek Van het denkperspectief, in de paranoia Van de kleine penis en de schizofrenie van schaamte.

In deze wereld mijn waansisteem werd liefde Een misdrijf in het duister en reizen kruipen Uit de schaduw der ouders naar de schaduw van de dood. Verdrinken tijdens de armslag naar meer.

Licht van alle licht, licht Dat niet dooft met de dagen en mijn geheugen Voortdurend doorschijnt, licht licht Dat niet zinkt in de stof het woord Dat muis is knagend binnen klein bestek, Licht dat bomen doorruist en water, licht Dat leeft op de vloedlijn bij springtij, Tussen afkick en hit, wit licht, witte hitte.

Jotie T' Hooft uit: Junkieverdriet, Manteau 1976

loviely

Thinking about the true horrors of living through my eating disorder and wanting her back. Like a bad breakup but still aching for her love. The grip of her hands around my waist while I shoved three fingers down my throat and throwing up until I saw blood from the pit of my stomach. The way she reminds me to eat small, eat slow, drink water, always pretend to be full. And maybe she’s no good for me but she’s got this way with words. She reminds me every day that how I look is my worst nightmare that my fears are coming true every time I walk out the door, that obesity resides on top of my bones. She never forgets to call even after the breakup. And I’ll tell my friends, again, I’m losing the weight the healthy way. Knowing that the last time I ate was 3 or 4 or 5 days ago and she’ll be proud of me. And maybe we’ll breakup again. But I’ll always welcome her with open arms.

I'm not eating again, 2023