Girlhood: The Spectrum of Hate
While what it means to be a woman is not easily defined, one thing can not be denied, “Everybody hate women, even women hate women”. And this truth, no matter how we try to stop it, it always comes down to the same thing, womanly behaviour suck.
In the beginning being the prizes, until you want the prize, a sit in the table, the sit whole is not available for all things “girly”. And now you are not like the others but you are just one of your kind at the table, not one person to hear or understand you, you are once again just a prop in someone else's shelf. Then you try to find joy once again in the things you left behind, but not without the cost of other people judgment, other women who are now experiencing their vexation with being woman them selves, or the real reason, having to answer to what people belive that being a woman really is.
No matter what aspect of your life, something is always in display at other people judgment, if you want to have kids your life is over, but if you don’t you wil be lonely, if you have a sex life you are whore, if you don’t you are to naive, if you focus in your own career you’re to uptight,and if you decide for selfcare you should do more,because women are made to do more then one thing at a time. Not one thing goes by without others opinion and our lives go by scrutinized.
And you think you could find comfort at least in your free time, watching a movie and maybe seeing some classics and all you see are the ideals of a perfect woman, as far a perfect wife and mom, and you think how exhausting that is, and then you try finding something in modern media, and you still find the perfect woman, with the perfect career this time, but all you can see in both this women is not their accomplishments, just how they never say the wrong thing, how the lower moments in their stories someone else's doings, and how you never feel seen, never understanding; until you find yourself a male character to call your own, but now you are a “pick me” for being like one of the boys, and when you see a flaw woman in anything everybody hate her, when you now if a male character did the same things, as long as described as attractive, and once again lonely.
And this never ending loneliness showered with every bit of hatred thrown in your face every step of the way, when you find out the must medical studies didn’t include woman because their hormones change them so much,weird enough is that science should test every variable, but as it seem not so much; or how much worse this became in obstetricians offices, because now you are a mother, so you can not cry anymore. Or how no matter what career path you choose must jobs are male dominated fields, and someone will always say how you don’t look like it, and when this spaces start changing gaining more women we know the wages values drop, just as the opposite is also true.
And with this and more all you can feel is hatred, about you, and being a woman, ever daring to be born a girl and this hateful gender, because everybody hates what you are since you were born, and hate against every other person who so to happens to face the same destiny as yours.
