Change From The Inside

[heroes-get-made-deactivated2022]

Don’t allow yourself to be guilted into anything. Either do it because it’s the right thing and because you want to, or don’t do it at all. You’ll never gain anything from allowing yourself to be emotionally manipulated.

It’s Never Worth It (via heroes-get-made)

Leave the toxic people behind even when they are family.

[rissawickedosity-blog]

How did I get here.

You wake up one day and wonder how did I get here. Here, in this bad version of daytime TV drama. These are the days of fucked up bullshit and plot lines that don’t really make sense. Where your stuck wondering about the choices you have made in your life, that have lead to this enormous amount of chaos. Where you cut ties with a family member using the very knife they put in your back. How did I get here? I have made some really bad choices, hurt people, broken hearts that were not mine to break, and I have made some beautiful mistakes. So maybe this is karma and I am paying my dues. This at this very moment is where I lay staring at my ceiling wondering how much do I owe Karma and when will my bill be paid in full. Since Karma does not give you a monthly statement I have to my best estimate. But I’m not sure how it is weighted and is there interest? All I know is I am trying to be a better person and life just keeps pushing my past back at me. A series of bad choices lead to the most beautiful mistake I could ever make. Is it really a mistake when it brings you so much joy and you wouldn’t change it for anything. Children are not mistakes. They are blessings. Grown ups… Now they are mistakes. The mistake will not go away. And because for some reason drunk me is an asshole and likes to create chaos for sober me the mistake is now dating my “sister.” Or at least thats what she claimed to be. To be clear, I don’t believe in girl code. I think its stupid. What I do believe in is family and as family there are lines you don’t cross. Things you don’t do to each other. One if them is that you don’t date the mistake… Especially when he abandoned the baby of your “sister”. Yet she is and here I'm wondering when my life became a day time drama. And how I let this happen. Here I lay in the dark on my phone writing this. Hoping that some sort of answer will jump off the screen.

[rissawickedosity-blog]

Making the changes to get out of Defense Mode and on to Living My Life in the Moment and being happy there.