gaylord

the close friends story wasn't enough i need to be obnoxious to a larger audience

[ritzcrackercrumbs]

the kind of defeat specific to people that swore they would never download a dating app scrolling through profiles that say their hottest take is that the penny shouldn't exist

[ritzcrackercrumbs]

well if you're chronically ill, and i'm chronically ill, who the hell is gonna create shareholder value??

[ritzcrackercrumbs]

it sucks having the awareness to know when a man is being performative but being so starved of physical affection that you just kinda ignore it like wow babe what was that band called again? big thief? wow you're so niche and esoteric please crush me with your entire body

[ritzcrackercrumbs]

growing up w unchecked hypermobility is a really good two-for-one deal where you spend your adolescence wondering why everything hurts and then you have to relearn how to stand as an adult

[ritzcrackercrumbs]

got an award for having the most imposter syndrome ever and yknow i don't think i deserve it they should've given it to someone more qualified i don't really know what i'm doing

[ritzcrackercrumbs]

had an ice-cold shower beer in the dark and was briefly inhabited by the soul of a freshly baptized infant