Sirius glances at the map on his bedside table. He's been waiting up for Remus and James for nearly two hours. It's way past curfew and they don't have the map or the cloak. He grabs the map and taps it with his wand, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Immediately, spidery lines of ink spread across the page, mapping every inch of the school. Sirius starts to unfold all of the pages and flaps, scanning every inch for Remus or James. They're in a classroom all the way across the school. Sirius looks at Peter and Marlene, who was waiting for the boys with him. Both of them are asleep. "Whatever." He grabs the cloak, slides the hood up, and runs down the stairs, studying the map as he moves. What the hell are they doing in a classroom in the fucking East Wing? Sirius narrowly dodges Filch and presses himself up against the wall. He passes Alice at some point. She's sprinting toward Gryffindor Tower, coming from the dungeons and swearing her ass off.
"Fucking cissy, distracting me from my fucking missions, fucking bastard. Jackass. Never visiting her again!" He snorts. Sirius is panting by the time he reaches the classroom. The door is locked.
"What the hell? Alohamora." He swings open the door and definitely throws up in his mouth just a little. Remus literally has James pinned to the wall, sucking on his neck while James makes sounds Sirius will never unhear. Both of them are shirtless and both of them look like their hair has been yanked on. "Eugh!" Sirius claps a hand over his mouth and both other boys glance toward him.
āOh, you cunt!" Remus shouts. "Take the cloak off so I can see you when I punch you in the mouth." James is glancing around, trying to find his shirt. Sirius pulls the cloak off.
"What. What the bloody fucking hell is going on here, Prongs?!" James ignores him.
"Babe, just find your shirt later," Remus says. Sirius gags again. "Oh, fuck off, Pads. You are such an idiot!"
"Why didn't we grab the map?" James mutters.
"Are you guys dating?" Sirius yells.
"Ohmygod." Remus drops his head into James' shoulder. "No, Sirius, I'm on a mission to fuck Prongs in an abandoned classroom cause I am just desperate to be his bestie." James giggles. "Make an educated guess, mate."
"Is that- is that why Remus has been coming to watch practice? I thought that was for Marlene."
"Ew," Remus whispers. "As if. No."
"Oh my God, my best friend is dating my brother," Sirius murmurs. "That's disgusting!" Remus rolls his eyes.
"Stop whining, idiot. I'm starving, Jam, let's go."
"I need my shirt though, I can't find it."
"Hold on, hold on. How long have you two pervs been sneaking around?" He asks.
"Literally since December."
"Six months?!" Sirius shouts.
"Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't catch us earlier," James says. "I fully expected you to." Remus shakes his head.
"Who else knows?" Sirius asks.
"Marlene, I tell her everything. And Lily once found us in Hogsmeade. Alice and Frank saw us after practice one day. And Barty guessed," Remus lists off.
"Barty knows before me?" Sirius gasps. "James, what the hell? You're supposed to tell me everything."
"Yeah, well, not this. I wanted to keep it secret. Marlene is the only one who knows on purpose." Sirius makes a face. "Sirius, come on! I'm sorry. This is kinda new, I didn't want a jinx it!"
"Aw, that's cute. You wouldn't jinx it, love, too adorable," Remus says and bends down to kiss him. Sirius screams and runs away from them, deeply uncomfortable and needing to talk to Marlene.
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