so after a few weeks deliberation i’ve decided to drop taehyung. i’ve tried to get him more threads and friendships to boost my muse and help me keep hold of him but sadly nothing has worked. so as i know he’s a very desired fc (meaning i probably won’t ever be able to pick him back up, which may or may not be a good thing) i figured it would be kinder to drop him and let someone who would gain lots of happiness from playing him, have him. i don’t want to hog him when i’m not feeling the drive to put effort into him. so sadly i’ve had to come to the decision to drop him, so i’m terribly sorry to all those i have threads/was plotting with, but i’m sure there will be a new tae soon and they will be even more awesome than wee taetae here. i’m still here with my lovely ten, so if you’d like to write with me still then ten is definitely open to more buddies!
lastly a little apology to the mods, as i know i drop muses like hot potatoes, and i feel terribly guilty about that, so please don’t hate me, i love you guys!
taehyung misses the stars he’d see so clearly from his grandparents house in daegu - in seoul he can barely see a single star, the lights of the city and the fumes from cars and buses and trucks block out all the pinpricks. at least he still has the light of the moon to guide him as he leaps from rooftop to rooftop, making his way through neighbourhoods, across tall buildings and short buildings, eyes always flickering from his route, to the cars below. the snow makes it harder to find safe routes across the roofs, but he’s been doing this long enough, and has been across these roofs so many times he doesn’t worry too much.
finally he stops, atop a building that gives him a clear view of the city - the tall buildings, and the smaller ones, the lights here and there, places, even at this time of night, still open. he settles himself on the edge of the rooftop, peering down to see himself only a couple stories up, the ground covered in a white blanket, resembling a pillow. a soft smile creeps onto his lips and he tugs up his hood as he begins to sing softly.
he sings without thinking, letting the songs come and go, the lyrics remembered so easily from all the songs he’s learnt over time and he thinks back to the competition, and how wonderful it felt on that stage and he wonders if he’ll ever get that chance again. even with the fear that he might not, he keeps singing, into the night air.
“jo, tae! i just came by and had to realize what crazy cool shit you are doing? why did you never told me about that?” he laughed and patted the other’s shoulder in excitement. kang joon had been pretty curious about parkour for quite some time now and since last halloween when he had walked around dressed in an assassine suit he had tried his best with just moderate success. the thing was there hadn’t been anyone in his environment who was able to teach him how he had to move and to jump in order to do what parkour guys did. though he knew that through his taekwondo training, it wouldn’t be too hard to learn if taught well.
he knows multiple guys around seoul who, like him, prefer the rooftops to the ground. he hadn’t been taught at first, but after a far more skilled, older boy had spotted taehyung once, he taught him further, opened the doors for taehyung to progress on his own - he gave him those buildings blocks, and taehyung went on from there. this was over two years ago now, and he’s still running with the same group on the odd occasion, a mix of teens and young adults, taehyung being the second youngest among them.
it’s rare that they run together, but when they do it reminds them they aren’t alone in their love of being high up, and though the quiet atop tall buildings is something that free runners live for, sometimes, breaking that silence with the voices of those who share that love is therapeutic.
but being tugged away from the group and finding himself face to face with kangjoon he finds he isn’t annoyed that the time he’s spending with his fellow free runners is being cut short, he’s simply glad to see his old friend. “joonie! um... i don’t know? i don’t really bring it up, it’s more of a personal thing i guess, but that doesn’t mean i mind you seeing me doing it!” he hurriedly makes sure kangjoon knows he isn’t intruding, and that in fact, taehyung doesn’t mind him being there to see it.
“you really think it’s cool?” the praise paints a broad grin on his lips and fills him with warmth - it’s rare he hears someone calling one of his favourite pastimes ‘cool’, and he realises he really does love hearing it.
just some festive thread ideas since tae needs more friends, and to motivate me to be productive (cause i’ve been way too slack recently and need to get my booty in gear)
so here’s some ideas, open to any and all, if you like the look of any then hmu!
SNOWBALL FIGHTS
“you’re in the hospital for the holidays so i came in while you were sleeping to decorate your room i love you merry christmas”
“i live below you and i was minding my own business watching the snowfall out the window WHEN I SAW A BODY FALL ARE YOU REALLY PUTTING UP CHRISTMAS LIGHTS NOW”
“we’re strictly ‘platonic’ but we’re snowed in omg we’re gonna have to repopulate the earth”
“i slipped on ice outside your house and you ran out barefoot to help me quick let’s get inside under a blanket”
“YOU DON’T LIKE MARSHMALLOWS IN YOUR HOT CHOCOLATE? WHY DO YOU HATE LOVE”
DRUNKEN CAROLLING (”that’s not a thing” “oh yes it is”)
the seasonal change impacted his mood quite a bit as well. it was a genuine part of his illness that he refused to admit. as they walked the streets, now brightly decorated with christmas lights and vibrant red and greens, jeonghan could only rest his head on the other male’s shoulder. he knew he was being a downer, especially considering the holidays were coming up, but he couldn’t help it. “hey,” he began. “sorry for being like this right now. i don’t know what’s up with me.”
despite taehyung’s life being anything but dull, filled with days spent on rooftops and nights spent in the deepest, darkest crevices of seoul, where the sinister and the secretive come out to play, the mundane things are those that make his heart skip a beat - it’s the time spent with jeonghan that leaves him relaxed but happier than most other things can make him. jeonghan makes it easy to just sit still for longer than five minutes.
“hey, don’t apologise.” he’s no stranger to jeonghan not being 100% cheerful, but it doesn’t make him like being around him any less. jeonghan’s the one person taehyung feels completely and utterly relaxed around, he’s his best friend. even so, he wants to cheer him up, so take-out, cuddles, and movies it is. “and of course we can, what take-out d’you want?”
his hand reaches up for a moment to stroke jeonghan’s hair affectionately; taehyung’s never been one to think before he acts, though he never regrets it, it’s one of the few ways he knows to show how much he cares. “we can get chinese? or american? or good ol’ korean!” there’s a skip in his step as he thinks of the food, already deciding what he’d order from each. “food makes things better, and so do cuddles. taehyungie will heal you hannie!”
so i’ve been awol for just over a week and i can’t apologise enough for that i got super stressed as i had exams right before my christmas break, so now that i’ve finished the term and i’ve got time to relax and FINALLY GET TO REPLIES im back and i will be replying to everyone and putting up some plots later!
he barely tears his eyes away from taehyung to take a look around, seeing other patients with minor-ish injuries and their guardians, before turning back to look at his dongsaeng. his eyes widen slightly when he sees the younger stir, and he immediately stands from his seat on the stool chair in surprise.
“h-hey…!” he swallows thickly. “can you hear me?”
his side hurts. he’s pretty sure it isn’t the only bit that’s injured but it’s the bit that hurts the most - he’s used to split lips and black eyes by now. it’s been about six months since his nights turned into this. he’s not sure when the last time he slept in his own bed was, or when he last had dinner with his mother. he misses her, but he knows he can’t ever go home looking like he usually does; bruised and bloody.
coherency and consciousness seems to almost slither through his fingers like grains of sand and it’s becoming increasingly difficult to keep himself awake. he can’t go home, but the guys had already wandered off, either back to their usual haunts, or home to crash for the night, but they’d left him there, which wasn’t unusual. so he wonders whether simply going to sleep right there is the best option he has, though the thought trails off before he can grasp at it. his head rolls to the side and he can feel himself slump against a trash bag, before he slips off, falling unconscious.
his eyelids flutter slightly and his brow knits together in the centre. the pain he’d been drowning in was now a mere ache and sting all over, but theres light behind his eyelids and he’s lying flat on something soft. he wonders if the guys came back for him, but he doubts it. that’s when a voice makes his eyes open completely, somewhat out of focus for a moment. the blur smooths out slowly until he finds himself staring up at the face of someone he hasn’t seen in a year.
yoongi.
“hyung..? ... am i in daegu?” he wonders for a moment if he’d been stuck on a train all the way back to daegu - it seems plausible in his head for a moment. it takes a few seconds for his head to clear, but the confusion remains - why is yoongi there? and how did he know to find taehyung?
primary goals in life: to make his mother proud (wherever she may be)
languages known: korean, english
quirks: can only sleep in his underwear (or naked), very often drinks chocolate milk and juice from the lil boxes, carries a coin he rolls over his knuckles, absolutely cannot stand the sound of chewing
savvies: fish, tarot card reading, parkour
» physical
build: slender / average / bony / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / baby fat / pudgy / obese / heavy set / pear-shaped / beer belly
height: 179 cm / 5′10
weight: 62kg / 136 lbs
scars/birthmarks: mole on the tip of his nose, burn scars on both ankles, horizontal scars on right arm, scars on hips
abilities/powers: plays the guitar, very good at ballet & parkour/roof jumping, can dance to almost every girl group dance
» favorites
food: ddeokbokki, hoddeok, chocolate or creme filled taiyaki, fries
pizza topping: cheese, cheese and more cheese
music genre: rock, indie, pop
book genre: horror, true-crime, fantasy, msytery
movie genre: horror, fantasy, DISNEY
season: all of them
curse word: doesn’t swear
» fun stuff
bottom or top: switch
loud burper or soft burper: soft burper
likes bad puns: will fall for anyone who tells puns whether they are good or not
“ ... regrets and mistakes
they are memories made “
#KTROYALCONTEST ♥ singers round »
━ someone like you [ ADELE ] : 2:37 - 3:23 ⊳ performed by KIM TAEHYUNG
the sun shines on the morning of the contest and taehyung wonders if it’s the gods mocking him, or if it really is a positive omen. will this be his chance to cling to the coattails of the dream he’s been chasing since he was five? he knows he can sing, many a singing teacher had praised his deep voice over the years, and from the lessons he’d taken from the mere age of seven he’d gained the skills to continue improving day by day even without the help of his trusted teachers.
anyway, taehyung had always enjoyed learning from his peers more. it wasn’t the techniques he needed anymore, even if he knew the few things he wanted to improve, it was the experience, the emotion, the way to make such a strong impression in only a minute and thirty seconds that he stuck in the minds of everyone watching. he wanted to reach into their very souls and tug on their heart strings, imprint himself on their frontal lobes and the inside of their ribs, so with every breath they got a second wind of the intoxication his voice aimed to induce.
so that morning he finds himself waiting for his name to be called, palms clammy from the inevitable nerves that always edged their way in at the last second. it was the sheer pressure to do well, that he himself had strapped to his back year ago, that drew the sweat to his brow and the tremble to the tips of his fingers. if there was one thing taehyung was ever serious about it was his music. it wasn’t a joke to him, it wasn’t a hobby, it was written in every cell of his body, as if he had dna that determined that he simply was a singer.
always aiming for the sky he reaches below the neckline of his hoodie, tugging out the chain with the little silver cross on the end that he never takes off. bringing it to his lips he thinks of his mother. she loved his voice. he remembers the day he told her he wanted to be a singer, and she simply beamed and lifted him onto the kitchen counter, asking him to sing her a song. it wasn’t particularly beautiful, his little rendition of a kids tv show theme song, but her smile reached her eyes and he remembers how very proud she seemed. “sing a song for me one day, okay taetae?”
over the years he’d sung many songs for his mother, but he realises this is a time that really matters, to him, to his grandmother who had given him her best wishes when he’d told her over the phone that he would be competing. he knows his mother would be proud, even if he fails, the simple fact he’d tried would be enough for her.
the tears sting the backs of his eyes as he realises just how much he misses her in that moment, but he pushes them back and clears his throat, right as he hears his name called.
here goes...
the steps up to the stage seem to take him years to climb, but as he steps into the lights shining down on the large stage he looks out to the audience and grins. this is it. the feeling he lives for. ever sing he was younger he loved being the centre of attention, loved people watching him, wondering what he’d do next. it gives him a rush of ecstasy, knowing he has people to prove himself to. he wants people to be proud, to smile at, and for him.
the stage is incredibly large for a single boy to fill with his every essence, but taehyung has always loved a challenge. this is his kingdom, up here, under the bright lights that reflect off the print on his hoodie. he relaxes, all the nerves melting away as he looks to the CEOs, sending them both a bright smile as he bows. the questions are what he’d expected, so bringing the mic to his lips he answers them.
“my name’s kim taehyung, i’m nineteen and was born in daegu, but moved to seoul when i was about fourteen. i’m here today to chase my dream. i’ve been chasing it since i was five, but hey, i’ve got a lot of steam left in me, and i’m not giving up till i catch it. i’m also here to make my mom proud. i know she’d be happy i’m reaching for my dream, even if she isn’t here to see me doing it.”
he’d been worried that perhaps his voice might shake once he’d began to speak, that the nerves might not be completely dissipated, but he’s still relaxed and his voice holds strong. but now is the moment that really matters - proving himself.
at first he’d thought of bringing his guitar, but the song has emotion that needs full attention. it needs his fingertips, in fact his entire body - underlying the lyrics there’s meaning to him, memories, as usual in all the songs he picks. he digs deep, because he knows he’s experienced far more than many other contestants. so, as he brings the mic back to his lips his eyes close, and then he begins.
“never mind, i’ll find someone like you
i wish nothing but the best for you too”
his rendition is softer than the original, to suite his voice and give it his own style - he’s never been fond of imitating others styles to try and sing a song he likes; usually he can find some way to make a song fit his voice, and with ‘someone like you’, the feat hadn’t been a hard one, as he’d sung it many times before, and he felt it showcased the deep, smoothness of his voice, the ability to reach from high notes down to low ones, and back again, so though he started with the chorus, what he knows is a risky move, he made it his own, gave it his own, personalised, soft lead up.
“don’t forget me, i beg
i remember you said,
sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead”
he shows the control he has over his voice in the melisma in the lines, and then the soft strength he has in holding the notes and bringing attention to the emotion. you can see it in his fingers as they delicately hold the microphone. you can see it in the way his free hand curls into a fist and his spine bends to emit all the pain and longing the song encompasses.
“nothing compares
no worries or cares
regrets and mistakes
they are memories made”
he opens his eyes to look straight at the CEOs as he begins the bridge, putting that anguish and frustration into the lyrics, that feeling of regret, but hesitance to let go that comes with the loss of love and god can he feel it throughout his entire body. in one sense he’s lost in the lyrics, lost in the song, but in the other he’s mindful of where he is, of who he’s performing to, of what rests on this opportunity and it only gives him more power and will to do well.
“who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?”
that’s exactly it - the bittersweet of letting go, but also remembering, they’re full of pain, but they’re memories all the same and as he takes his time with the ending he stands straight and locks eyes with the judges, drawing it all to it’s peak, then, giving it a second to sink in and the atmosphere to calm, to let the music rest around him like the dust on a dirt track that plumes up around your feet as you walk, then slowly falls back to where it rested before. he bows one last time, offers a ‘thank you’ and a last, bright smile, then makes his way off the stage, his smile stuck to his lips.
despite the outcome, it felt wonderful, and he’s reassured, once more, that up there, under the lights with all those eyes on him - that’s where he belongs.
“Hyung! Hyung! Look, look we’re flying!” Spreading his arms out like an eagle he closed his eyes again, smiling from ear to ear.
Seatbelts? Seats? Who needed them?!
[ tw : drugs mentioned ]
he’s reminded of the years he spent in the back seat of racing cars, large hands on his thighs and muscular arms round his shoulders, trying to smile even as the stench of weed contaminated the air. he’d hated it back then, the company one that had him on edge at all moments - family? is that what they claimed to be, when the feeling of their knuckles striking his cheeks and jaw still stuck in his memory.
it’s different now though, the reminder is weaker, because the company is one he can’t get enough of. jeongguk’s someone taehyung feels relaxed around, comfortable and able to be who he really is. he can laugh, and grin until his cheeks hurt. he can talk complete nonsense and jeongguk won’t judge him - he might laugh, but it’s never malicious.
the laughter bubbles up his throat unrestricted, and he lets his body fling around as the car makes sharp turns and the icy winter winds, like tiny knives against his cheeks, feel anything but unpleasant. it’s a rush of all the things taehyung feels like he lives for - adrenaline rushes, danger and unadulterated, reckless fun.
“how fast can this thing go?!” he shouts over the roar of the engine and the woosh of the air around as they cut right through it. he wants to literally take off, fly into the air and soar over seoul, watch all the little ants below on the streets, shuffling through crowds of worker bees and the fireflies set in their bodies of steel, like towers of glistening jewels.
“wooooooo!” he breaks off into laughter once more and falls against jeongguk as the car turns again, but he doesn’t even bother to right himself this time - the laughter’s already wracking his figure, and all he can manage to do is hold his sides.
NOVEMBER 20, 2016 taestful uploaded a video COVER: Youth by Troye Sivan
he’s used to the feeling of the camera pointed at him from atop the makeshift tripod, constructed out of books he’s found lying around his room. it’s been too long since his last video. he wishes he’d found time to make a cover sooner, but he finds the feeling of the mic close to his lips, the headphones settled on his head, one ear on, one ear off, somewhat therapeutic. he’s missed this, the almost professional feeling he gets when stood recording music.
ready, finger hovering over the record button, he takes that routine deep breath, filling his lungs with the feelings the song drowns him in. pressing the button he presses play on the backing music prepared on his laptop stood nearby, and lets the music overtake him.
“what if, we run away
what if, we left today
what if, we say goodbye to safe and sound”
there’s streetlamps in his mind, the night sky overhead and muffled laughter of the boys he used to hang around with - this was the time when he wanted to run away, flee the life that felt like home, but that also brought pain and fear. it was safe with his ‘family’, but it wasn’t the life he wanted. he feels it in the words, feels that pain he felt when he dreamt everyday of running away, and it draws the emotion from the very depths of his being and out into the melody, entwined in the lyrics.
“my youth, my youth is yours
trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls
my youth, my youth is yours
runaway now and forevermore”
he remembers alcohol, the smoke that made him cough and feel dizzy, made him light and carefree, he remembers it all. that wasn’t him, those nights of drinking and smoking, racing and fighting. he stood on the sidelines like a pretty accessory, a pet.
things are different now, though. he escaped. he ran away and never looked back.
“and when the lights are flashing like a photobooth
and the stars exploding
we'll be fireproof”
it’s all about the invincibility of the youth of today, about how they bounce back. and it’s true, after all that’s happened to taehyung, he realises he isn’t yet defeated. no matter how broken and alone he feels sometimes, he’s still alive, fighting; kicking and screaming, for his dream.
the song soon ends and his voice falls off softly, eyes closed for a moment as the music stop, then he glances toward the camera lens, shoots and small smile, then reaches up to turn off the camera.
his breath is released with a slight shudder, the only sign of the underlying nervousness that still lingers beneath his skin. usually, being nervous isn’t something taehyung feels on a regular basis, but when it comes to singing, it means so much to him that he buries himself under the weight of expectation to do well. it leaves him breathless and trembling when he thinks of the opinions on his voice, but he knows thinking, worrying, predicting all outcomes will only increase the anxiousness.
the mic stands set up in front of him and the acoustic guitar strung over him with an old, beaten-up leather strap swings slightly as he makes sure hes all wired up right, tests the tuning of his guitar strings, then slowly breathes in, blocking out the world around him as he begins to pluck and strum, humming along to the intro as he readies himself.
“my legs stagger with every step
today, another meaningless day goes by
i believe people love those who are similar to them
so there’s no chance that my heart will beat fast”
his eyes remain closed as he pictures the last week of his life; college, struggling with money, wondering if it’s all worth it for the hundredth time. it’s a mind-numbing routine, one that he’s so familiar with by now that he can practically foresee his own future - more and more college and hunger and cold showers and doubt. the song speaks to him, that’s why he picked it, he can feel the words in the depths of his chest, beating along to his heartbeat like a part of him and he wonders whether he’ll find a song that gives him hope in himself.
“tell me, tell me, please don’t tell me
it’ll be better for me if i don’t hear”
maybe it’s true that if he doesn’t know other people see how useless he is, as he sees himself, then he’ll feel like he has a chance to be better. if other people realise just how small he really is then what’s the point in trying, if they notice everything and will laugh when he fails. which is inevitable. it’s been so long since he’d done something he thought was worth anything much at all.
he lets the words flow from him as the melody floods his veins and he breathes the rhythm, working the entire song into his system like the air he breathes. he loses himself into the entirety of the song, relating to every word and letting his eyes glide over the slowly growing crowd surrounding him.
“wing, wing, even a mayfly
flies away like its laughing at my pathetic self
bing, bing, round it goes
the world wiggles like it’s laughing at me too”
the song comes to an end and he lets the last note ring out on his guitar, before laying his fingers flat over the strings and hanging his head for a few seconds in a small bow to his audience, as silent thanks for stopping to listen to him. it renews his faith in his voice, in the dream he’s been chasing for so long now. maybe he does wonder if he’ll ever get there, but moments like these, singing about his pitiful situation reminds him of the life he’s still hoping for.
so heyo palios tis i, nell, also mun behind the wee bubble dahyun! i’m honestly so excited to have tae here, i’ve wanted to bring him here for a really long time and somehow magically was handed the chance. he’s a very battered soul, who genuinely just wants hugs and comfort and animals so please come plot and we can delve into the adventurous life of baby taetae! you can reach me through im’s, on twitter @nam_ewhyun (here mostly) or aim @nam.woo
