i know i've been gone
this isn't a return. it's more than likely a goodbye post, at least for this blog. i don't know if i'll delete it or leave it up. all i know is that i won't be here.
the last few months have been hard as hell. i still miss jonghyun, every day. i still can't listen to his or shinee's music. although it is slow, i am however healing. he meant the world to me, and knowing that the same illness that's eating me up from the inside was what consumed him as well is difficult to swallow. it gets stuck in my throat and no matter how much i cry it doesn't want to dissolve. but i know i'll be fine. i will heal. i am healing. i hope i can hear his voice soon again and not feel like it's going to tear me apart. i miss the comfort he gave me through music. i hope i can find my way back to that.
so i'm going. i don't know if anyone will see this post but i'd like to thank you for being here with me and making it a growing, happy, sad, learning, joyous journey. please take care of yourself and of each other. share and spread love and positive vibes. this world needs that more than anything.