Living My Dream Life

[eatmangoesnekkid]

“Living in trauma teaches us to act fast: to walk fast, talk fast, think and respond fast, chew fast, and fuck fast. “Fast” is a state of chronic flight or fight and survival lifestyle that keeps our stress hormones overly active and shuts down the rest of our body from working properly. The reclamation of the divine feminine arrives in the slow. Walking slower. Talking slower. Sitting with your desires i.e. thinking and acting slower. Slow crockpot cooking and slow chewing of your food into a liquid. Slow kissing and slow lovemaking with variations of speed and intensity as desired. Slow dancing. You begin to sever yourself out of trauma when you start to do one, two, or three things slower. Step by step. Witness how old trauma bonds begins to fall away one by one, bit by bit. To do life fast is to collude with Western trauma. And it is these stories and the accompanying shallow breathing patterns that we must begin to rewrite our way out of because our bodies were never meant to suffer. To get out of trauma is to facilitate the wisdom of slowing down in your everyday life. It is to refuse to do life at other people’s pace, those who have very little relationship with their own bodies and were also traumatized out of deep breathing, deep feeling, and and deep resting. It requires you to stop putting the patriarchy’s needs above your own and living in a whole ‘nother level of maturity. Otherwise you may find yourself living in patterns where you constantly desire to scroll social media, shop or consume a thing, fuck anyone who shows you a little attention, or mindlessly drink or smoke because the essential aspects of the divine feminine are missing from your life.”

—

Slow-Talking, Slow-Moving, Slow-Biking, Slow-Eating, Slow-Creating India Ame’ye, Author

My favorite night time relaxation  herbs and juice: lemon balm (valerian root), kava kava, chamomile flowers, and cherry juice.

[sugarsubfairyy]

naturally introverted, selectively extroverted

[milkandvoid]

[rpfofficial]

it's crazy how february-june didn't happen

[paper-wounds]

[theambitiouswoman]

Since we live in a world where we can't always follow ideals, it's easy to feel stuck. Money is a huge stressor for most people, and many are doing the best they can in situations they never would have chosen. It's hard to think about purpose, healing, or becoming your best self when you're just trying to make it through the week

So how do you get out of survival? You don't do it by pretending your problems don't exist. You do it by creating enough stability that your nervous system no longer has to treat every day like an emergency

Healthy ambition isn't chasing success to prove your worth. It's using ambition to build freedom, and options. It's earning enough that you can breathe, setting boundaries because you have choices, and creating a life where you're no longer making every decision from fear

You don't need to have your dream life overnight. You just need to move from surviving to stabilizing, from stabilizing to growing, and from growing to creating. That's how people slowly stop living in survival and start building a life they're actually excited to wake up to

What does that actually look like?

- Learning a skill that increases your income instead of relying on one paycheck forever

- Creating a second source of income so one setback doesn't feel like a catastrophe

- Taking care of your health now instead of waiting until your body forces you to

- Building routines that reduce stress instead of creating more of it

- Spending less than you earn, even if it's only by a little

- Investing in yourself through books, courses, or experiences that expand your opportunities

- Surrounding yourself with people who encourage growth instead of keeping you stuck

- Learning to regulate your nervous system so not every challenge feels like a threat

None of these things are glamorous. But together they slowly teach your brain that you're safe. Learning to change the way you think is so important. Someone can tell you what to do step by step. But if you don’t incorporate a new way of thinking, you will continue to fall into the same cycles, even the toxic ones. I see this on a constant basis. We need to break up with the bad habits and thoughts in order to think a new way. Once you stop operating from survival, your ambition stops being about escaping your life and starts being about creating one you genuinely love

One of the biggest shifts is realizing that the way you've always made money isn't the only way to make money. Every new year that passes breeds new opportunities and ways to make money. New tools, easier tools. I can’t say this enough we have to learn to embrace change. Call yourself out when you’re thinking “No I can’t” “This can’t be done”. These self imposed limitations are built on survival you guys

Learn new skills. Explore industries you've never considered. Understand how businesses work. Learn about investing, AI, sales, content creation, real estate, or whatever expands your options. The more ways you know how to create value, the less trapped you'll feel by any one job or paycheck

The shift is a mindset shift

You stop asking, "How do I survive this month?" and start asking, "How do I build a life where survival isn't my default?"

Healthy ambition isn't about chasing more for the sake of more. It's about creating enough freedom that your decisions are no longer driven by fear, but by possibility

[free-my-mindd]

I can tell by the energy.

[theone1n]

[theambitiouswoman]

when did you learn to be apologetic about the beautiful things in your life?

[theambitiouswoman]

When you have a full life all on your own, you become really strict about who takes away from the space and time you’ve created for yourself

You’ll also notice that most people will come to take based on what they admire in you that they don’t do or see for themselves. It’s about you, but it’s really more about them

Personally I don’t think people vet potential relationships (of any kind) enough, let alone fully understand the effect people have on our lives and sense of self. We understand that we are who we surround ourselves with, but throw in the word ‘relationship’ and that logic goes out the window

That’s because most people pursue relationships from a place of lack or insecurity. What they think will keep them safe somehow in their logical mind

Raising your standards on yourself and your life will raise your outcome and standards for others

[theambitiouswoman]

Success doesn’t heal insecurity. Success can’t heal a wound that was never caused by a lack of achievement. If your ambition is rooted in self rejection no amount of success will ever feel like enough. Healthy ambition begins when your drive comes from self respect instead. You still want more, but you’re no longer chasing success to prove your value. You’re building because you believe you’re already worthy of building something great

When I lose the weight, I’ll feel confident

When I make more money, I’ll feel secure

When my business grows, I’ll finally relax

When they choose me, I’ll finally feel worthy

The problem is that insecurity isn’t created by a lack of success. It’s created by what you believe success means about you. If your nervous system has learned that your worth depends on achievement, you’ll never actually arrive. Every milestone becomes the new baseline. Instead of feeling fulfilled, you move the goalpost again. This is why some of the most successful people are still anxious, perfectionistic, and constantly chasing the next accomplishment. They’re trying to solve an emotional problem with external achievements.

Healthy ambition says things like

I want more because I’m curious about what’s possible

I want to build something meaningful

I enjoy growing

I love challenging myself

The irony is that people who feel secure often accomplish more. They’re willing to take risks because failure doesn’t define them. They can rest without guilt because their worth isn’t tied to productivity. They stay consistent because they’re building from self respect instead of self rejection

The most successful people fail more than they win. But failing, like a lot of other things looks different to a person who’s operating in survival. When your nervous system believes failure threatens your worth, your safety, or your identity, every setback feels like proof that you should stop. To someone who feels secure, failure is information. To someone in survival, failure feels like rejection. The difference isn’t talent it’s what your brain believes failure means

Success can improve your life. It can buy freedom, opportunities, and experiences. But it cannot give you an identity. If you don’t believe you’re enough before success, you’ll likely spend your success trying to earn a feeling it was never designed to provide. This is another example of why intelligence isn’t required to succeed

Success is rarely just about how much you know. More often, it’s shaped by your relationship with uncertainty, consistency, and yourself

[theambitiouswoman]

A lot of people don't let themselves be wrong or learn anything new. The moment something challenges what they already believe, they get defensive instead of curious. Being wrong is how you grow but it’s perceived as a threat when you’re looking at things from survival. Every belief you have today exists because at some point you realized your old one was incomplete. If you're never willing to question yourself, you stop evolving. The smartest people aren't the ones who are always right. They're the ones who are willing to change their minds when they're presented with better or event new information, no matter how impossible it sounds, no matter what they were taught decades ago, and no matter what society currently believes

[qadarpriestress]

When I wrote that post about how possessing things helps women build their identity, I saw many people commenting that identity cannot be shaped by material objects.

You know what? Notice how a man who possesses beautiful things is seen as a man of taste, an elegant man, a man who takes care of himself, someone who is cultured.

Women are always pushed to either shop for bad-quality items, buy less or not buy at all, partly because women are more likely to end up in structural situations with less money. I have rarely seen men being pushed to buy dupes or low-quality things. This world is made for women to either enjoy bad-quality items or no items at all.

Don't get me wrong, this is not a post to say that men cannot enjoy high-quality things, nor is it to create any rivalry. Men deserve good-quality things just as much as women do.

But when you really take a closer look, even your average simple guy with relatively inexpensive who loves nature and enjoys simple “activities” will buy high-quality hiking attire and would not see these expenses as “materialistic”.

If someone ever tells you that buying something that benefits you or holds importance to you makes you superficial or materialistic, that person would probably not want you to take good care of yourself. Being materialistic as a woman is a revolution. It is a threat to the status quo.

[godkissedme]

What you’re drawn to is not random. It’s a map of the kind of world you want to participate in

[111wishesss]

How to stop competing with other girls (because you're the problem)

• Find out how you see yourself and what you're insecure about. Turn your weaknesses into your strengths and see the good in yourself too.

• Ask yourself why you're playing the victim and having a 'lack' or scarcity mindset. Take control of your mind and create an abundance mindset.

• Try being genuine happy for other girls, and feeling inspired by them. Your time will come because you can get anything you want too

• Stop taking things personally because not everything is about you.

• Change your mindset about women: Women are amazing and having a group of women by your side will make you much happier, loved and supported.

[scorpionlafemme]

[rigensis]

Soufrière, Saint Lucia