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@robcat17-blog
7th grade girls
Keep in mind while reading this post that I have an open bathroom policy. Just leave your school ID card and go. No permission needed.
Girl: Mr. Marsh! Can I talk to you privately?
Me: Yes.
Girl: Can I go to the bathroom? It’s an emergency. I’m having my…
Me: Yes.
Girl: And I need to bring my back pack. It’s an emergency! I’m…
Me: Yes!
Girl: And can I bring my friend! I’m…
Me: YES!!! JUST GO!!!
Bad Day Teaching
Me, teaching studiously, intently, on VERY IMPORTANT STUFF: Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Bla--- ok, class, you need to know it off. It's rude to laugh and be this disruptive. Ok, WHAT'S SO FUNNY? Class: (Dead silence) Me (glaring in righteous teacher wrath): Well? Finally, one girl's hand is slo-o-owly raised. Me (giving the stink eye): Yes? Girl (softly): Mr. Marsh, you have a reeeeealy big hole in the seat of your pants. Yeah. Not my BEST day....
Letter to a School Nurse
Dear Heather,
I am still a little confused on some of the times we should or should not be sending students to the health room. There just seems to be so many GRAY areas where a student COULD be sent to you, and as a teacher, I just have to make a judgement call. AND I certainly do not want any trouble with parents (or the law.)
For instance:
blood flowing freely from the eyes, ears and nose continuous vomiting decapitation ear wax an itch they can’t quite reach bad hair an annoying student that I want out of my room for an hour
Any of these you could practically flip a coin over…
Thank you in advance for your clarification…
Rob
Thank you Rob for your excellent questions…
1. Blood pouring from any eye, ear or nose is definitely a job for a nurse. I keep plenty of tampons in the health office for just that reason And if the kid isn’t being nice to me…I leave the string attached
2. Continuous vomiting… The district says we have to send kids home, but I always like to “see” the supposed vomit. “I threw up in the bathroom” usually means “I didn’t study for Mr. Marsh’s test” Back to class you go!
3. Decapitation… I really won’t want to see them unless you can bring me the head. I’m pretty good, but if you bring me a headless body, not a lot I can work with.
4. Ear wax… Interesting story… Britta once sent a kid down to me with excessive ear wax. I have a bag of “1000 cotton swabs” in my desk. I sent him into the bathroom with about 25 of them and told him not to come out until there was no more ear wax on the Q-tips. He came back 10 minutes later
5. Itch they can’t reach… Isn’t that why God invented pencils?
6. Bad hair… Send them to Preston or Cantonwine, our favorite bald guys
7. Annoying student… The principal has extra room in his office.
If I’m not too busy chasing down ambulances around Covington, I’d be happy to look at your kids…or check your prostate.
Heather P. RN BSN MEd School Nurse
Things Kids Say
7th grade class discussions. In response to the question “What impact does having so many people in Congress have on making a law?” Student: “It makes it too hard. The government should have 50 representatives and only 35 Senators.” Me: “Oh? Which states would not get Senators?” Student: “Wisconsin. Colorado. I could think of a few more…”
Things Kids Say
Student: "Mr. Marsh, what is my grade?" Me (trying to be nice): "You haven't handed anything in." Student: "But if I did hand stuff in, what would my grade be?"
Things Kids Say
Student: "Mr. Marsh! I heard that Ms. Scrivner said that she heard some one in the office say that we get to close the school early today because of snow." Me: "Well then. It must be true."
Things Kids Say
I asked a question in class. Girl had her hand up. Me: "would you like to answer?" Girl: "No!" Me: "Do you have your hand up?" Girl very slowly turns her head, sees her hand IS raised, takes it down quickly. Girl: "No."
Things Kids Say
Student: "Mr. Marsh, my mom made me read a book this weekend. It was about (blah blah blah goes on for 30 seconds)." Me: "Is this relevant to the class discussion?" Student: "No, but I thought you'd want to know I read a book."
Things Parents Say
Me: Hi! I just wanted to call and let you know how much I am enjoying having your daughter in my class. She's working really hard, she's intelligent and is a lot of fun. I look forward to working with her this year. Mom: Is this a joke?
Things Kids Say
Girl: "Mr. Marsh, I'm hot." Me: "Take your coat off." Girl: "I can't. My shirt's ugly." Me (laughing): "Why are you wearing an ugly shirt?" Girl: "It goes with my pants."
Things Kids Say
So I’m sitting at my desk working, fanatically trying to get one last great idea ready for class when I hear: “GOOD MORNING, MR. MARSH!!! GREAT DAY, ISN’T IT?!?!”
Me (weary): “Ben, why are you yelling?”
Ben: “I’M STUCK ON CAPS LOCK!”
Awesome. Of course you are.
Kid: Do I need to change? Me (not really listening): Don’t change. You’re perfect the way you are. Kid: Then why did (teacher’s name) tell me I needed to change? Me (Still not really listening): They’re cold hearted? Kid: Can I quote you? Me(now really listening): uh… What? Why? Kid: (Teacher’s name) told me I needed to change and correct my attitude or I would never amount to anything in life. Me: Well, most people are right in the middle. You are not. People will love you or hate you. Do you talk too much? At the wrong times? Sure. Would I change who you are? Never, cuz then I'd have to give up your questions and brilliant ideas and you make me laugh. Get used to it. Some people will always not like you. Don’t change, but you are allowed to get better. Understand. Kid: … (Small smile)… Yes!
“Carefully aligning dress, setting, and pose, Parks captured the young Ali as the gentleman he was striving to become.”
There are two kinds of teachers... Those that wanna get better and those that don't. They think they're good, or they're lazy, or they're stupid. It doesn't matter. You're either getting better or you're not.
You wanna know why your test scores suck? No, of course you don't...
Talked to a middle school teacher today. He had his class spend 3 days on personification of nouns. They even drew little pictures and everything. In 3 days, each kid wrote MAYBE 3 words. I spent maybe 20 minutes teaching personification and then they use it in their own writing. No wonder kids actually do worse in school after a year with this guy...
Teachers are weird
Heard a teacher this week brag about integrating reading into her class day. Kids get TEN WHOLE MINUTES A DAY TO READ! Woo-hoo!
My administrator is in my classroom a couple times a year. It doesn't matter. You will only view a slice of what I do, who I am and who my kids are. You can tell what kind of teacher I am and never step a foot in my classroom. (Actually, you can do it better that way.) Are my kids learning? Can they read? Can they write? Can they think critically? Are they IMPROVING? Then I am teaching...
