transformers Bumblebee: not a review, mostly just flailing
So from all the nonsense I’ve reblogged today, you might have noticed that I saw the Bumblebee transformers movie last night. I knew from the very first trailer (where I almost cried and then yelled about how in the fuck was I emotionally invested in a transformers movie in the year of our lord 2k18) that I was going to see this movie regardless of if it was good. a girl and her robot best friend? it had to happen whether I wanted it to or not. quality wasn’t in the equation.
And I’m here to tell you that it’s hands down the best transformers movie. I’ve only seen the first movie (multiple times) and the 2nd movie (once. probably. I have no memory of it but I must have), but even without seeing the rest I can tell you that it’s the best transformers movie. I’m distinctly unobjective, but being as objective as I can it’s probably a 7/10 quality movie, and a 10/10 in my heart.
I mean it. It’s legitimately good. Very funny and full actual substance and emotion. It narrows the action compared to the michael bay movies. The consequences may be global, but the actual fight scenes themselves are between a small number of individuals so you can actually follow what’s happening. There’s a helping of cheesiness, but it’s earnest and infrequent, and still had me smiling even at it’s most ridiculous (if you’ve seen it, you know what part I’m talking about). Haliee Steinfeld can fucking act and seems to carry the film on her shoulders easily, even though her most emotional scenes must have been performed alone, since you know, her co-star was CGI. The connection between the two of them was absolutely the heart of this movie and was everything I ever wanted. I definitely cried.
Surprisingly, there’s a human love interest that doesn’t suck. I was only here for Charlie and Bee, but Memo (the love interest in question) was a delight. It probably helped that the movie ended with simply potential between the two of them. No dramatic makeouts or even formally getting together. Memo definitely deserves more attention than what I’ve seen here on tumblr. He’s earnest and kind and goes along with the weirdness with aplomb.
As for Charlie and Bee, this movie is not a sexy human-nonhuman relationship like the shape of water, nor is it a romcom like venom. This is very obviously a Horse Girl Movie. You know the ones. And those typically don’t involve a romantic relationship between the girl and the horse (since you know uhhh non-sentience), but for you robotfuckers out there (and I mean this very lovingly, the same way we’ve embraced the word monsterfucker around here lately), you really don’t have to try very hard.
dramatic! underwater! facetouching!!! That’s a thing that happened people. And like, constant non-underwater facetouching and teaching him about earth and making sure other humans don’t call him an ‘it’ and protecting each other and communicating through the ~power of music~ and gahhhhh my heart. C'mon folks, I ship it. There’s just a level of intimacy there that really works for me.
Side note: shout-out to the 30something guy next to me who was also at the theater by himself. We ended up chatting a little bit at the end (and I don’t do talking to strangers, but for some reason that always seems to change at the movies), and he was so enthusiastic about how this is what transformers movies should have been all along. And hearing that from a dude who probably grew up with transformers about a character-driven movie where the lead was a teen girl? very refreshing. (see Hollywood? dudes can connect with female protagonists. get on that)
Bottom line: do you like robots? do you like to feel those feels about robot-human relationships (platonic or otherwise)? do you like action scenes that are watchable and free of michael bay™ lens flare? go, do it. embrace the emotion and the cheesiness and live your best life
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