Joni

Spread love like a fatal disease

[rocknrolliandcheese]

Here’s a playlist for you… Song Speech Playlist by Joni

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2cr9hNZ7mlbWMM0fCCJi3B?si=YxchOCfYSBqM2ROypBOAQA

[rocknrolliandcheese]

My brothers girlfriend brought up an interesting point today: We wouldnt have to worry about plastic in the oceans if we were to make plastic bags out of a more biodegradable material. For example, human flesh.

[rocknrolliandcheese]

Okay I know this is horrible but sometimes when my boyfriend and I are having sex, he gets all up in my ear and goes "Cum for me" and every time he does it I can't think of anything except Phantom of the Opera when he's all "sing for me" and it's super the opposite of sexy

[radiantquotes]

I go to bed every single night wondering why having me wasn’t enough for you.

[rocknrolliandcheese]

Me, when I find out my therapist has been seeing other patients

[buttwyattarchive-deactivated201]

Citizens of Pawnee

[thelawnwrangler]

This is the absolute best post ever. The citizens of Pawnee are my heroes.

[doctorbeth]

Pooh Bear

I see many Winnie the Poohs at the hospital (aka Winnie aka Pooh aka Pooh Bear), as you may guess.  Many look like this, a bit flat and with small wounds, designed to have a removable shirt:

They come for spas:

New hearts and stuffing:

And plumping up so they have a proper belly again:

Sometimes they look like this:

A bit more loved… or as his person said, in more “desperate condition”.

He also had a spa (not everyone does):

As you may’ve noticed, he needed a new nose and there were several options:

His heart had a pooh on it as well as some magic from a heffalump:

And after a bit of arm and smile surgery, soon he was healthy and ready to fly home:

His person wrote “He looks wonderful!”

The final Pooh I’m going to show you today just flew home yesterday.  He is always called Pooh Bear.  He is 14 years old and showed every year of hugs.  

Here are the photos his person’s mom sent for diagnosis:

As you can see, Pooh Bear was a bit flat and a bit gray.  He came in for a spa:

Got new stuffing and a magical Heffalump heart to preserve a bit of his original stuffing:

And finally was clean and plump and fluffy and ready to fly home:

He could even sit on his own!  His people said his chubbiness was perfect and as I said, he flew home yesterday!

[theawesomeadventurer]

this blog is singlehandedly curing my depression

[rocknrolliandcheese]

Me: knows damn well that 'szn' is short hand for 'season'

Me, every time I see a post with 'szn' in it: "Susan"

[ruphobic]

me walking into my kitchen at 3 am to eat a whole pizza and have a breakdown

[rocknrolliandcheese]

It's been seven hours and fifteen days

[arsenicolada]

this is ‘60 yr old gay man that has recently retired to california’ style

[dazedbibi]

this is harry styles

[evenstarsinthesky]

[shayeelouiise]

It took less effort going vegan than it would have trying to defend and justify my hypocritical actions

[rocknrolliandcheese]

I’m like an avocado.

[vegan-asf-blog]

Explain?

[rocknrolliandcheese]

Fat

[rocknrolliandcheese]

I'm like an avocado.

[thefeistiestworm]

Dermatologists: avoid touching your face, and NEVER pick at your skin!

Me, having 0 impulse control: unfortunate,

[lmaoalien]

plot twist: JK rowling writes a series on voldemorts point of view

[accioheadcanons-blog]

“i looked in the mirror and cried. i look like an egg”

[rocknrolliandcheese]

Vegan Culture Is

Matching with someone on Tinder and immediately being asked "you can still eat man meat, though, right?"

[clitworm]

the signs as things my 5 year old nephew said to me on the way to texas

aries: it’s cowboys, i guess. now hit me

taurus: if i had billions and billions of dogs, only 3 of them could attack me

gemini: he was from texas, but a different texas

cancer: are there white black panthers

leo: dude, i don’t have a car. i’m homeless

virgo: you’re one hundred and ninety forty times dumber

libra: *silence* it’s tea, but it’s nasty

scorpio: i had a dream that this man was driving and i got in front of him and started driving and he pushed me off and *mumble mumble* …. but bears are savage

sagittarius: she scratched me in the face like yeet

capricorn: nobody taught me what thumbs up meant

aquarius: you can do whatever you want in california. the cops aren’t gonna go all the way to california

pisces: *puts arm between seat cushions* it’s like another WORLD down here… i’m stuck