M.v.p.

My brain hurts

[rocks4teeth]

Hitting rock bottom so I can have a little nibble on the rocks

[sososillyyy]

i am so certain me as a guy is just james potter i am my own favourite james fancast

[alexsays-no]

I did it

[rocks4teeth]

If I wasn’t so good at lying I might be in jail

[rocks4teeth]

Oh I get it now

…

No I don’t.

am I manic or what?

Just happy?

[onlyonsra]

My favourite dream I had woke me up in a cold sweat…

I was terrified of how real every thing was I was frightened by how much I could remember I was nervous when I realized it was a dream This was my first time in a dream where I new I was dreaming I was trying my hardest to focus on anything I could All I wanted was to stay and listen to this boy in my dreams White cotton bed sheets and quilt under my fingertips with my nails pained black. Tight sporty runners on my feet aimlessly drawing shaped on the medium dark beige tiles.

A long truck drive in the Europe parries drove me here with my dad. Texting on light mood ignoring group chat messages that drain to much of my energy. I step out the car and look at the old grey summer house only to be greeted with the boy I’d spend the next few weeks with but mostly his parents. I don’t remember much about the nice old woman with brown hair in a lose ponytail over her right shoulder i remember even less about the man with grey and blackish brown hair withering buzz cut who’s supposedly a good long time friend of my dad. I remember the most about the boy. How after he was told by his mother to where I would be staying he loosely grabbed my wrist and led me up the stairs. 12 steps up, a platform we turn left and continue up the stairs he guideds me through the narrow halls too the nearly empty room which reminds me of uncanny minimalism. I am yet again reminded that this is a summer home from the dust on the black metal railings of the bed and the night stand that my attention was only brought to because of the boy grabbing three books off hit that he left the night before. He explains to me that this bed was bigger that the one arranged him and he was just grabbing his books. Thick books with bland covers adorn in his hand. Thoughtlessly I read the cover aloud, forgetting he can hear me, hoping the tittle would be more interesting the yellowish grey that coats the book. “Uh… yes” he explains hesitantly as he begins to defend and drone on about his choice of literature. My attention is thus lost and redirected at the slim rectangle window that lets golden light through the limestone walls. The boy coincidentally steps into the place my attention is most and is obliviously drowned in a shower of late afternoon sunlight. My attention is stolen from the window to his every defined hair. His dark curls seem amber in certain thinner areas. I take note of how beautiful that it is that a few strains of unruly hair color changes completely into something equally if not more beautiful than the origin. As I think to myself without truly clocking in to how my thoughts have realize that this is only a dream. I stare at this boy wonder now taking in more than just the gold in his hair but how the sun makes an entire gold silhouette. A small freckle on his face is in stark contrast with his pale skin that’s turned rosy, mostly in the ears and cheek, for reasons unbeknownst to me. Cognitively clocking in, but this world is only but a fiction and filled with a sense of dread and longing. The need to take In as much as possible consumes my sole and I start to note things: my black branded short with white stripes on the side of legs and not quite freshly shaved legs and my shoes, The color of my nails and how I can’t remember if they are painted in real life, my white shirt with love written four times town in pastel rainbow, that one of the books the boy is holding is a journal or maybe a diary or a sketchbook. I remember how I already missed my boy and how I wished I could know this mystery more. But my wishes were not fully sent as I was not allowed to stay in that world forever. My world starts to spin slowly my vision blurs as I hear the blare of my alarm clock my eyes open to a sight I wasn’t expecting the dusty night stand with his books on it and a warm dip in the bed behind me. It’s only to my dread that I start to rember my real life and how my alarm doesn’t blare it chimes.

Hearing of the chimes mixed with the blare both sounding equally as real I open my eye wider and see my bed and feel it flat and cold. A lumb in my throat and my eyes starting to burn was the only correct way to react to leaving a world behind.

Any form of media wasn’t enough I felt empty there has always been a hole left in me from feeling what it’s like to live in a world in your own head

-Onsra

[rocks4teeth]

Vivid dreams haunt my memory’s even a year later

[rocks4teeth]

Guys…

Got dumped recently kinda assumed I’d be more mad but like

My eyes are open I know not to make that mistake again

[rocks4teeth]

Little does he know I reenacted 9/11 over this.

Too soon?

[rocks4teeth]

“This shit is low key kinda overrated!”

“By “This shit” do you possibly mean life?”

“…”

“…”

“Possibly”

[g3othermal3scapism]

I wanted to make a silly video about how I see regulus so :33 this is her. if u even care

tw s/h mention?? sorta kinda? vaguely idk,, its just an edgy audio clip from Gingersnaps

[rocks4teeth]

Yummy

[rocks4teeth]

Hugs are underrated

[onlyonsra]

I feel like it the look in my eyes should be enough of a poem itself.

[rocks4teeth]

I’m so tired of worrying I’m a horrible person.

I might just become a horrible person so I know for sure and don’t have to worry ☺️

[rocks4teeth]

I’m actually a fucking THREAD away from fully crashing the fuck out.

Warning this may or may not include:

• violence.

• going AWOL

• finding god in someone (tbd) new

• turning to some (the) religion

• making a passive aggressive Pinterest board

• ignoring all social norms

• questioning life

• questioning god

• fighting authority figures

• going ghost

• becoming obsessed with something (tbd)

• start doing drugs

• starting euro summer early

• finding new coping mechanisms

• changing hair, body, clothes, and/or name

• choosing a new personality

• self sabotage

• self love to the point of a god complex

• taking one for the team…

• giving up on anything normal

• being someone’s karma

• becoming wanted

• becoming a psych ward regular

• new piercing or tattoo 

• revenge fantasy to the point of insanity

• jumping someone

• rotting

• going shopping

• walking nowhere till my legs stop

• ruining something

• committing crimes for autonomy

• making cupcakes

• jumping jacks

•running into walls

• sudden career change

• yelling

• buying more blankets

• redownloading Duolingo

• becoming the rich people want to eat

• finding the power in silence

• become a mother

• become a monster

• let the voices win (The violent ones)

• let the voices win (The angry ones)

• let the voices win (The sad ones)

• let the voices win (The anxious ones)

• let the voices win (The ovulation ones)

• let the voices win (The rational ones)

• grand theft auto

• telling no one

• becoming bilingual

• finally picking a gender

• finding apartments in London, nyc, Italy, etc

• reconnecting with old friends

• wallowing in self pity

• numbness

• partying

• something that involves the signing of a NDA

• hate crimes

• angry love confession in the rain

• giving up on reality and focusing on fiction

• accepting fate

• telling everyone everything that’s wrong

• ignoring the good in the world

• become a minamist

• buy a van convert it to a house

• become famous

• join a new family

• pick up and new hobby

• leaving everyone I know

• making a alias

• planing my future

• sacrificing my happiness

• heavy breathing

• poetry

• blood

• coffee

• a little sweet treat

• a sense of everlasting dread

• devotion to infinity

• drinking tears

• retaking Spanish classes

• lying

• creating art

• blogging my downfall

• sleeping for 13 hours

• crying

• ect.





[rocks4teeth]

[rocks4teeth]

Dating me basically

[rocks4teeth]

Me basically