Giving BG3 women strap-ons because I’m frothing at the mouth
Warnings: fatal sapphism, submissive Shadowheart because she revs my engine, in honor of switches I will be riding writing the characters as both giving strap and receiving strap, implied age gap in Jaheira's section also one use of ‘mama’
@daisyofwaterdeep
✧Lae’zel✧
She’s tentative at first. Usually, sex is initiated while she’s still riding off the heat of battle or an argument, and so she sees the strap as a waste of time. It takes convincing to get her to try it on. But when she realizes how new and invigorating the sensations are, she’s keen to use it more and more often.
Lae’zel’s hips smack against yours as her weight keeps you pinned to the bedroll in your tent. She grunts in your ear with every harsh thrust.
“I can smell you,” she hisses, “the whole camp reeks of your slick.”
One hand sneaks under your body to rub figure eights on your aching clit. You yelp and claw at the blanket at the added stimulation.
“They will smell it, too, when they return. They will all know what I’ve done to you.”
She’ll only consider letting you use it on her after the strap has been established as part of your routine, and even then she’ll usually want to be on top.
She inhales deeply as the blunt head pierces her opening, halting just a few inches down. She’s overestimated her abilities. Her eyes are clenched shut as she silently struggles to adjust.
“Are you okay, my love?” You breathe. She nods sharply.
“I’m fine. Give me a moment.” After a second to breathe, she pushes through the stretch, and settles herself on your lap.
“It’s just larger than I had anticipated. Perhaps I ought be more…gentle, when you’re the one taking.”
☽Shadowheart☾
Has secretly been waiting for this for a very long time. Her mattress has always had some kind of erotic book hidden under it, and it has given her some very shameful ideas over the years. Oh, if the cloister had found out...
Needs help tightening the harness around her hips. Oddly, the few moments you spend fumbling with the leather are some of the most arousing to her. It's one of those underrated intimacies she can't get enough of.
“Does that feel good?” She asked, rocking her hips tentatively. You could only groan in response. After a half hour of foreplay, Shadowheart had finally worked up the courage to fuck you- and gods, was it driving you mad.
“Fuck…so good, love. So good-” a broken moan falls from your lips as her hips roll at just the right angle. Her eyes widen at the sound, and her hips instinctively buck again; causing the same reaction. From then on, all her worries are out the window as she chases that thrill.
Her clit grinds against the seat of the harness as she humps you, leaving her unable to stop even as tears of overstimulation begin to run down her cheeks.
“Shit…I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…!”
She’s a bit more confident when it’s you giving. Sometimes she’s too worried about her performance to relax and really enjoy things, but with the strap, she can forget everything but you.
She likes it deep, but not too fast- preferring to savor the experience as long as she can.
She shivers and sighs as your pelvis meets hers, buried to the hilt inside her warm embrace. Her legs are on either side of your hips and her arms are hung loosely around your shoulders as she nuzzles the crook of your neck. Moonlight streams through the curtains, illuminating the batch of love bites along her collarbone. The results of a lazy midnight make-out.
“This is nice,” she says between gasps and breathy giggles, her sweet sounds a hedonistic symphony in the dark room, “I should have you like this more often.”
᯾Karlach᯾
Once her engine is stabilized, she’s just eager to fuck again. It doesn’t matter who’s getting their back blown out. The strap is like an old friend to her, and she's practically giddy when she picks one from the shops. An average length, but thick- she can't wait to watch you stretch so prettily around it.
Strong hands knead the fat of your ass as you carefully bounce your hips on her cock. Your fuzzy head rests on your crossed arms, back arched as Karlach kneels behind you. Her golden eyes are wide and fixated on your drooling cunt, watching in awe as your body clings to the silicon- like you never want her to stop fucking you.
Her face feels so hot that steam rises off of her cheeks and her tail lashes ecstatically behind her as she begins to move her own hips- savoring each whine and mewl that escapes your lips.
“Fuck,” she groans, “you’re so fucking beautiful, babe!”
Extremely sensitive the first time she gets fucked. She likely cums on the first thrust inside. Her pussy hasn’t gotten any good action in a decade, so even when she’s practically lost her mind on your cock, she begs you to keep rutting against her. She wants to make up for as much lost time as possible.
One of the loudest moaners out of all the companions. In your tent, dead of night, grunting and whining until she wakes up half your friends. They always debate whether they should draw straws to see who goes to complain or just wait it out.
When she's finally satisfied and allows you to pull out, you notice that the silicon of the slick toy seems to almost radiate her heat. She chuckles when you point it out.
Her toes curled in the air, brows furrowed as your form pressed her knees closer to her chest. Her pupils were completely blown out with lust, only a sliver of the golden iris visible. Should you be concerned? Because she’s had multiple orgasms already, and it’s getting kind of late, and- wait, was that a pleasure moan or a pain moan?
Before you can check, she notices the faltering of your hips. Strong, warm calves wrap around your torso and force you to keep grinding into her.
“Keep going, soldier,” she panted, “don’t stop now. Gods…Don’t leave.”
☠︎︎Minthara☠︎︎
Another companion who’s familiar with the practice is Minthara- to the point where I would assume she has one tucked away with her personal effects somewhere in the Underdark.
When she’s wearing the strap, she loves to make you suck it. It’s a respect thing for her, almost like kissing the king’s ring. Prove how badly you want her to pleasure you. Prove it and maybe she’ll bless you with her cock.
There’s nothing more satisfying to Minthara than sitting down and having you ride her lap. She’ll nip and bite at your heaving chest, grabbing your ass and calling you her wanton harlot in Undercommon.
Your face is buried in her neck, body flushed and shaking as you recover from climax. Your cunt flutters around her hard shaft and slick drools from your thighs to the chair below. Everything aches.
Cool lips press kisses to your shoulder as even cooler hands sooth the goosebumps along your spine.
“Are you with me, my dear?” She rasps. A nod and murmured reassurance are all she gets. She chuckles gravelly in your ear.
“Very good, precious one,” you hardly even register the kiss she plants on your lips before a sharp smack on the rear wakes you up, “now keep bouncing. I’m not finished yet.”
When she’s receiving, it’s much more intimate than you might think. A little ambience goes a long way with getting her in the mood. You can achieve this method of seduction with a warm bath, dim lighting like that of her old home, and the strongest-tasting wine you can get your hands on. Most of those surface brews are too bland for her taste.
She’s usually pretty quiet- the majority of the noises in the room are the soft schlick! schlick! schlick! sounds of your cock entering her. If you get close enough, you may be able to hear the soft huffs she makes each time you bottom out.
She lies flat on her belly, thighs spread just enough to let you between them. A pillow is wedged beneath her hips, aiding your search for the angle that makes her lips part and her crimson eyes flutter shut. On one lucky stroke, you find it. Her hips jerk almost imperceptibly in your grasp, and she twists her head to meet your gaze.
"There," she urges, "faster now. I want to feel it."
As you up your pace, her head falls back to the mattress. Her brows pinch together and her hands fist the sheets. Every other thrust forces a quiet moan from her lips, and you can't help but admire her beauty like this. Calm, quiet...open. She trusts you. You adjust your position over her prone form to be closer to her, pressing your weight against her silken skin. She hisses as the toy slips deeper inside her. Her voice is shaky as she gives you her next command.
"Aost! I can feel you in my womb, Ust-nor," she groans, "harder. Show me your devotion."
𑁍Jaheira𑁍
Jaheira's been around a few times and knows what she likes, but I don't see her having used a strap-on before. As a Harper, she's very practical- there's little room in her pack for anything unessential, and that includes pleasure aids. But she knows young people have particular needs, and she's happy to give it a try if you ask politely.
It's amusing to her, how badly you want it. She can't remember the last time she herself had felt so raw and unbridled. That feeling vanished with her late husband. But the rush of youth is sacred, and she indulges you wherever possible.
Jaheira likes to sit against the headboard with a glass of wine as you desperately take what you need from the toy. She chuckles when your hips get clumsy, orgasm just on the horizon, halting your movements and pulling you into a kiss. The goblet is pressed to your swollen lips as you break away and you swallow a mouthful of the bitter drink.
“You move too quickly, cub,” she chides playfully, squeezing your rear with a weathered hand, “it’s the journey, not the destination. How are you to savor the pleasure if you rut like an animal?”
You stifle a whimper as the fireworks in your belly fizzle out, their fuses snuffed too soon. With your hips still held firmly in place, Jaheira clearly expects you to show some understanding. Your head bobbles clumsily as an apology tumbles from your lips.
“Yes. ‘M sorry,” you squeak. The hand on your hip loosens and you tentatively begin to rock back and forth once more. You try to focus on keeping your rhythm as the head of her cock presses insistently on that very back wall of your cunt. The feeling is even more pronounced like this. Jaheira purrs.
“Much better, cub. Take every little inch for mama.”
Taking it is rarer for Jaheira than wearing it, but if she does, she’ll ask for it once you’ve stopped trembling in her lap. You’ll stumble off of her and she’ll help tighten it around your hips before rolling onto her side and digging in the nightstand for something slick. The cum you’ve left over would be enough, but she’s old now, and an extra swipe of oil wouldn’t hurt.
She likes to stay on her side too. It’s sleepy and gentle, feeling the warmth of your body behind her blend with the warmth of the wine in her blood. She’s quiet but more vocal than Minthara, humming and sighing into the night air as you bottom out.
The candles burn low in their sconces, the only indication of time in your little slice of heaven. The curtains isolate you from the outside world and leave you with no worries. No tadpoles or Bhaalists, no rogues or bugbears. Just you, and the woman in your bed.
She moans lowly as your hips meet hers, mingling with the faint creak of the inn bedsprings. A weathered hand reaches back and tangles in your hair as you press a kiss to each freckle and sunspot on her graceful neck.
“You know,” Jaheira pants, free hand toying with her perked nipple, “sometimes you have good ideas, cub. I needed this.”
Your heart flutters at the praise and there’s real joy in your smile as you nuzzle her shoulder. This is good. You made Jaheira feel good. Emboldened, your hips rock the least bit harder, and her legs stiffen where they tangle with yours. She’s gone quiet, and you can imagine the expression on her face. Eyes shut blissfully, brow furrowed and jaw tightened as she braces herself for release.
It only takes a few moments before the first waves crash over her, body trembling slightly against your own as she huffs and grinds back on your cock instinctively, as if forcing your cum deeper inside- If the toy were real, that is. She finally relaxes in your hold.
“A fine job, sweetheart,” she whispers, “you keep me young with all of your wanting. Perhaps this old cat should…explore, more often.”
I SAW A PICTURE ON PINTREST IDK HOW TO SPELL THAT BUT I NEEEDDEEDD TO DRAW THEM LIKE THAT
BUT ANYWAAYYY IF YOU LIKE LIFE IS STRANGE 2 PLEAAASEE LETS BE FRIENDS AND TALK CAUSE IM LITERALLY EXPLODING!!!!!1!1!11 I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO THIS ABOUTTT
How do I fact-check to make sure I'm always getting true facts from quality sources? Other than just reading everything on here of course
How To Tell If A Fact Is True
by facts-i-just-made-up
Read the fact and make sure you understand what it's actually saying. Many false facts are just user error. EXAMPLE: Bobby misreads a headline that says "Sama-Gai Palace Takes In Donations" and thinks it said "Smegma Penis Tastes Of Donuts," resulting in a very bad blow-job that he blames on the newspaper.
Consider the source of the fact. EXAMPLE: Sarah reads that Jake Paul bought a 7 billion dollar yacht just to burn it down for laughs. Sarah believes it, having failed to notice that it was posted by a blog called lies-about-jake-paul on tumblr, resulting in her hating Jake Paul for the wrong reason, at the cost of all the many right reasons she should hate Jake Paul.
See if the fact has been confirmed by other reliable sources. EXAMPLE: Jacques reads that yeast can grow in human lungs resulting in the ability to spew acidic yogurt like some sort of messed up superpower. He checks several other medical sites to see if this is true and learns that while yeast can sometimes cause a lung infection, it will not give him superpowers. He spends the rest of his evening reconsidering his plans for the future, and goes into architecture and interior design instead.
Research the fact independently from the internet. EXAMPLE: Thnorg, Slayer of The Snail People is emailed a link to a video about how greasing your club with the blood of executed murderers will make it more deadly. Thnorg heads to the library, reads books about club-grease, and visits his local greaseteria to ask experts on grease. He thus learns that the blood of the damned will not make his club more deadly, and he coats the dance floor of his club in their blood knowing it will not harm his customers coming in for vampire night.
Check for possible biases from the writer of the fact. EXAMPLE: Scrotus reads a note passed to him in class that says that Jennifer is totally into Claire, and bought her a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack. Scrotus knows however that the note came from Herman, who totally got stood up by Jennifer when they went to see Cannibal Holocaust at a midnight screening. Thus Scrotus distrusts the note, and relaxes in the knowledge that Jennifer really did buy the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack for him, and goes forward with his plans to invite her to see the Human Centipede marathon with him on Friday. He also avenged Herman by befouling Herman's lunch donut with termites. Scrotus will never be caught, and will marry Jennifer after college.
Develop your senses to be a good judge of the likeliness of a false fact. EXAMPLE: Luke is told that Darth Vader is his father. He says that that can't be true, and that it's impossible. This is because Luke is a poor judge of factual veracity. Luke later searches his feelings and knows it to be true. He asks Obi-Wan's force ghost and Yoda about how to discern the truth, and completes his Jedi training to confront Vader and help return balance to the force. You can see this example in greater detail in George Lucas's masterpiece film, "American Graffiti."
Ask a Magic-8-Ball or other novelty divination tool. EXAMPLE: Roy is informed by a post on Reddit that women are evil and he should treat them poorly. Roy asks his Magic-8-Ball if that is true. It doesn't matter what the ball tells him because it's literally still a better source for morals and ethics than red-pill posts on Reddit. Seriously fuck that shit.
Thank you for reading this guide to fact checking by someone who has flooded tumblr with lies and nonsense for over a decade, and once posted that Texas had just executed a baby and had to delete it after an hour because half of the 10,000 notes actually fucking believed it.
it's so very important to me that cleradin retains a similar dynamic structure to canon byler. prince mike x commoner will, mike who has always seen magic in the boy who everyone hates and ostracizes for being too gentle, too kind, too magical, too sensitive for them, prince mike spoiling his best friend, will who is soft spoken and artistic and sees beauty in everything and can't lie to his best friend. just all of their best canon traits + the noticeable class difference that was present in s1-s2.
i genuinely cannot believe the discourse right now. byler hit number one because the fandom was pulling nearly 20k posts a day through late november and december. that is an absurd level of engagement. that is what every media scholar on earth would point to and say, “yes, that’s a thriving participatory culture.”
so watching people twist themselves into knots pretending it’s “rigged” or “undeserved” is honestly embarrassing. the numbers are right there. the activity is right there. the creativity, the analysis, the sheer volume of people showing up every single day, it’s all right there.
and the hate? the sneering? the weird moral superiority about a ship being popular? it’s exhausting. it’s mean spirited. and it completely ignores the reality that this fandom is one of the most active, engaged, and consistently productive corners of tumblr right now.
you don’t have to like the ship. you don’t have to engage with it. but acting like its popularity is some kind of crime against the internet is just petty. and honestly, it makes me sad seeing people tear down something that clearly brings thousands of fans joy, community, and creative energy.
Headcanon that Jonathan becomes a filmmaker who gets known for making very dark, gritty films with a lot of political commentary, and one day, he announces that he's making a film focusing around a nonverbal little girl who's just run away from her abusive household. Because of his reputation, everyone expects it to be a psychological horror, but instead, it's all about this girl running into a group of kids and discovering friendship and real family love. Her abuse is never shown on screen or even explicitly discussed, and her abuser never appears in the movie. It's not dark at all, it's just a little girl learning to be a girl and making friends. It's not actually about abuse, it's almost ridiculously feel-good and happy the whole way through.
It gets flamed for 'not being dark enough' and 'not tackling the depth of her abuse,' but when an interviewer asks him of what he thinks of these opinions, he just says that he doesn't believe an abuse victim's story needs to revolve around suffering, and he just wanted the girl to experience happiness.
He gets called idealistic for acting like an abused girl could so easily find happiness and peace with no issue, but Jonathan doesn't care. This is the one area where he's not interested in realism. He lived that already.
andulkaphoto
turnnoffyourmind
romaincrisis
prguitarman
gamechangershow
vaporwave
2087
stormborns
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
