a lot of these memes about tops and bottoms are honestly homophobic as fuck and i’m getting really tired of it
yes i am in total agreement here, it fucking sucks lmao also its just definitely like rebranded maddeningly sexist stereotypes like: “oh jeez im just a dumb and ditsy and incompetent girl, haha i need some big strong man to do everything for me bc i cant do math or drive and im not in control of my emotions!!! my every pursuit is a vain endevour toward total vapidity. i have absolutely no practical knowledge of how to exist in the world because im essentially a child who needs to be taken care of!” but replace girl with bottom and man with top. which is absolutely why its also homophobic of course! its like everyone on this website is completely incapable of seeing relationships outside of a STAUNCHLY heteronormative mindset, a mindset which isnt even informed by the reality of normal and healthy adult partnerships between even women and men (which, the haha straight people amirite jokes about clearly abusive relationships are so gross and dismissive of the reality of people stay in relationships because abuse is so pervasive and widely accepted as just part-and-parcel to hetero relationships, so that goes totally unchallenged and just get laughed at like “thems the breaks hettie bettie!” and i think its also harmful to young gay ppl on this site in particular bc the message is like “this is a straight persons problem so you cant be having it, because youre gay” which is absolutely not true at all lmao) but like extremely outdated stereotypes about the role of women in relationship to men, and maybe even feel like finally! rather than examine these completely fucked up messages i have absorbed throughout my life, i can reframe these regressive beliefs i have about women in a way where no one calls me out for it because im not, yknow, talking about women per se, im talking about (gay male) bottoms! because if you like to be penetrated during sex that basically makes you a woman in my mind lol! if anyone tells me what im saying is kind of fucked up on a multitude of levels, ill just evade the criticism by acting like they themselves are homophobic, rather than explore what part of my brain has such a difficult time wrapping my mind around the fact that the world doesnt fit into neat, easy to digest dichotomies of those who “hunt” and those who “nest” (to quote jerry seinfeld lmao) i also feel like these memes have this insideous tendency to imply that lesbians also just do not exist or maybe just arent worth mentioning, or, i guess, that yes, absolutely, the butch IS “the man” and the femme is the woman, but in “being the woman” the femme is not only by definition, unquestionably the bottom all the time but also that femme=ultrafeminine stereotype of a woman rather than the unique femininity that femmes cultivate in the context of being a lesbian, which is not neccesarily the “same” as a straight woman’s femininity (and femmes talk about this A LOT… please read lesbian writing lmao.) but once again, rather than doing away with dichotomies like people pretend this generation is so great at, the dichotomies have only shifted to encompass different “halves of a whole” rather than understanding that these “halves” are ultimately fabricated and reinforced by tacit cultural notions, norms, and propaganda about who comes from mars and who comes from venus. everyone comes from the earth actually lmao. stop fucking reducing the rich tapestry of human life into these dumb, reductive categories. its so goddamn lazy and dishonest. and im sure someones gonna be like “omg calm down theyre just jokes!” its like, okay. one or two self-depricating jokes every once in a blue moon? whatever. but when you have literally THOUSANDS of people independently making these broad “humorous” assertions in the exact same vein of exactly why they are fucked up, the line between “just a joke at my own expense” and “fucked up thing to say that belays real ideas that people have and think and perpetuates incredibly gross and lazy concepts of the world and especially the oppressed people in it” is crossed pretty fucking quickly lmao.
sorry for rambling i 100% do not enjoy this website’s wild ideas about gay people and/or women for that matter. like actions speak a billion times louder than words so if youre all “im pro-gay and pro-woman” and you spend literally the rest of all your time ripping on gay people and women and gay women and maybe even somehow managing to say something fucked up about all three at the exact same time in one sentence or less, like, try harder because no, just saying that and reblogging some heinous proof society is homophobic but not changing your thinking at all or examining how your very own brain generates or replicates the exact same fucked up ideas that ultimately make society the way it is, and then present those ideas in supposedly “harmless” ways. yes, even if you are gay yourself. i dont know how to tell you this but absolutely EVERYONE is capable of absorbing perpetuating harmful ideas, even about themselves and people like themselves. and i really dont think this is necessarily something people do maliciously, but rather, an act of trying to fit in with your peers and avoid ostricization– which are two of the biggest reasons why its so hard to overcome interpersonal societal bigotry. whether or not you actively hold onto negative beliefs, allowing for them to go unchallenged because theyre “just jokes” or you yourself asserting things that maybe you dont even believe/havent really thought about and just kind of accept because youre scrambling to stay safe within your peer group’s good graces is literally why shitty ideas continue to persist on at least an interpersonal level imo and ime. anyways… thats just my take ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
