its almost midnight and i can't seem to write this right, so im just gonna yap and hope i make sense. sorry im bitchy in this. note: haven't seen the show and this isn't about everyone in the fandom or just an attack on women❤️
I, as a gay man, very STRONGLY dislike the way that Heated Rivalry fans have been affecting everything they fucking touch- the world and the hockey fandom. Many have a lack of decorum that borderlines on fetishizing, if not IS, and its seeped into so much.
I already knew from the get go that some of the fans were going to be a little... interesting. In of itself, the book the show was based off of was OBVIOUSLY made for straight women. Theres already many things to be said about writing queer stories for non-queer audiences, especially overtly and overly sexual ones (usually for the purpose of getting those said straight women to kick their feet and giggle). But, thats a story for another day. On top of that, fan bases aren't always affected by intent or reason of the author.
Yet, the seeming borderline fetishization carried on into the fan base. One of the first introductions to the show that I had was a SLEW of posts, all by different creators, about how hot the sex scenes were and basically NOTHING else. This immediately had me a little off put- sure, the media was doomed to be very sexual but ONLY sex? Many of the fans also spoke about it in ways that were... strange. They claimed it brought back their "fujoshi", a japanese term coined for women who consume and enjoy mlm media, which felt incredibly strange- why SUDDENLY have an interest in male queer media? Why feel the need to announce that, alongside how hot and sexy the scenes were? How fat Ilya ass is?
As well, many of the fans were over-babying Shane, a symptom of queer stereotyping. The more "submissive" man is more UwU / baby-core and unable to do anything. To me, it felt like the straight women who this show were targeted towards were kinda... missing the mark. Sure, while Shane is the softer of the two, he's certainly not INNOCENT. He's actively seen having sex. He's a GROWN MAN and is treated as such. Yet, many of the fans just couldn't seem to see that- likely because they were too focused on the soft-core p/rn that they didn't realize that they were actively stereotyping Shane as they typed away.
Through this show giving light to queer men, with a emphasis on the enjoyment of straight women, queer men are getting overly sexualized by women who cannot conceive that what they are doing is WEIRD. They're stereotyping multiple of the characters based on sexuality and obsessing over queer sex, in ways that they wouldn't do if it was a straight couple. I didn't even see anyone talking about anything other than sex until WEEKS after people actually started to talk about it. People are reinforcing to themselves, and others, that queerness is NOT something that should be treated with the normalcy of other relationships- they're reinforcing that queer relationships are, almost, for the viewers pleasure and not for the actual lovers. Queer love is not a show, not entertainment, but they're treating it as such. Even going so far as to spread out into queer spaces to try and find queer love to watch as entertainment, while also actively silencing said queer voices when this is brought to attention.
These fans have begun to be problematic in the hockey sphere now too. Instead of interacting with these athletes like they are human, they're posting comments asking about "when do they kiss?" and asking if they're in relationships. This is incredibly strange. Sure, many people engage in a little RPF- a little hehehaha about "omg they're so dating!". But it gets to a point. If someone is actively posting that where the people they're talking about can SEE it... thats weird. No one is logging onto AO3 and looking up their name and expecting cute little posts about how good they did last game. But, they also aren't expecting to open a tiktok comment section and have people talking about how they wanna watch them make out. As well, its over and over and over and over and over again. It's constant! These athletes cannot seem to be doing anything OTHER than being with every person they look at a little fondly. This is reinforcing the fact that men cannot have genuine, especially close, friendships without being in a relationship. THATS WEIRD. Especially because it happens to mostly ATTRACTIVE players- like Will Smith and Macklin Celebrini.
It feels, in some way, like these fans are weaponizing queerness to fulfill fantasies. They don't actually want people to come out and be gay- they just want to watch two hot men kiss. They don't want the ugly guy on some random ass team, the one with three missing teeth, to actually wanna kiss a boy. They want the HOT ones to do it. Again, this is only emphasizing queerness as something to be entertained by- NOT something that is so truly genuine and real. This mentality also harms the NHL too. It could push players away from fans and each other. It could breed discontentment and anger for new fans, both within the player base and the fandom, start people actively trying to be "less gay". Less friendly, less obvious with any kind of emotion that isn't just "rah! i man!". This could cause pushback of a "need to be more masculine so im NOT gay" mentality, which is really bad.
In society, the requirements of masculinity is harmful to everyone. It stops men from expressing mental health, from being open or friendly, but it also just justifies the present harmful behaviors that men do- lets them get away with it on the basis of "hes a man" or "boys will be boys". People NEED to realize that friendship does not equal GAY! This has been a problem for a while but has only gotten worse now that people are consuming Heated Rivalry and not giving the show its proper breath.
On top of that, because of Heated Rivalry, people are... being WEIRD fans. Recently, someone got hit on the ice and had to get stretchered off- a HORRIFIC thing. Yet, people kept on mentioning Ilya ("omg what is Ilya gonna do? / Ilya's gotta fight him now!.")... WHAT THE FUCK. Dawg, this is a real person with real feelings and real injuries. What happened to "Omg what happened?" or "Omg I hope he's okay, that looked scary". Why must be mention Heated Rivalry right now? Theres a time and a place- do you have NO decorum? Any sense of decency? It's incredibly weird to mention such a thing, to try and connect a completely fictional injury to a real life person who is now dealing with real life consequences.
I just feel like Heated Rivalry fans who are consuming this media need to just... think. Consider. Think more. Realize that there is DECORUM and REASONING to the internet. Not posting how much you love the freaky scenes in the show- sun glasses on so that the refection is seen. Not connecting fake people to real life people. Not making the players feel like they might need to fix or change the way they interact so they don't have weird fans knocking at their metaphorical doors begging for them to kiss their teammates. Guys 🙏 just think a little while
