I love thinking about the fact that when you romance Astarion, like, actually start to romance him, you don’t have sex with him. At all. And it comes up in other interactions later on, like if you get propositioned by Halsin, Astarion checks if his lack of participation is a factor in your consideration? And if you mess with Mizora, similar thing. So it’s clear that since he confessed his true feelings, that part of your relationship pauses, as he requested. Because he’s got trauma and needs a gentle loving space to work through that to be intimate in a healthy way that doesn’t repulse him or taint your bond.
And I love that he gets that narrative because it’s such a rare option for a masculine character to experience sexual abuse and trauma and be allowed a chance to work through and heal from it. Especially if they’re young and gorgeous and virile like he is. He’s only 39 at his death/turning, he was so young, and Cazador treats him like a boy in so many ways while simultaneously using his adult sex appeal as a lure and a weapon to control him and destroy other lives through his body. It’s such an integral part of his abusive enslavement and I appreciate that choice for his story rather than a simple one of monstrous violence, murder, etc which is a more common trope for male characters.
So he’s coming from that place, and then he meets you and his default setting is to fuck you to secure his safety, his worth in your eyes. But if you show him true love and care, he starts to see a way to return that which is something he’s never been able to do before, but the sex complicates it suddenly. And you can just back off from it, give him the space he needs, make him feel safe to trust love and security isn’t bound to what he can offer you physically. It’s not bound to his body, his functions. It’s his personhood that you desire, his essence without strings attached, and he gets to learn that and trust it and grow it without pressure or judgement. Even the times after where you ask to kiss him feel so sweet, to check in with him on such a simple act of intimacy, where he gets his autonomy to consent.
And then, at the end of his storyline in the graveyard, when he’s reclaiming his life in symbolic and literal ways, that’s when he feels the most safe and in love with you, trusts you the most to care for him completely, and that’s when he initiates physicality again. And I just fucking love that for him. So much.
As a person who’s struggled with physical intimacy and learning I could have boundaries and need to take my time with stuff and my partner wouldn’t abandon me over it? Would stay even if I couldn’t promise to ever fulfill that part of our relationship again? The safety of that reassurance is everything, and it helps you find a way back to your body again, to loving it and wanting to share it with another. Because you get to choose when and how and anything offered is received with pure gratitude and admiration. And I love that Astarion gets that chance because he deserves to heal and feel whole again, to live fully without barriers. And you get to help him find that. It’s beautiful.
I am deeply appreciative of how much of a loser they made Astarion. Like he's sexy sure but the man doesn't have a single W to his name. He's been stuck in tunnels eating rats for years and his first time out and about he gets literally brainwormed and has to pull some Wil E. Coyote shit to team up with people. His whole menacing blood drinking schtick is immediately undercut by him being a massive virgin about the whole ordeal. In his centuries long flop era and trying so desperately to cover it up
Could I ask for a reader x Astarion where they already have a baby and reader has trouble putting the baby to sleep cause they’re exhausted so Astarion does it??
I’m a sucker for Father Astarion.
A/n: AHH STOPP THIS IS SO CUTE!
It was a hard night for you and your child it seemed, she wasn’t that old. Only a few months and while she tended to fall asleep rather easily tonight was another story.
“Please little one, please fall asleep mommy is very tired.” You tried not to let out a yawn as you rocked your infant child but nothing you seemed to do helped stop with her little cries.
“Let me take her love.” Placing his hand on your shoulder, Astarion titled his head as he wagged his finger at his daughter. Her little lips trembled the moment she saw her father. “You are both exhausted, neither of you will get much sleep.”
Giving him a weak smile, seconds from dropping as you placed her in his waiting arms.
“Thank you.” Your voice dripping with exhaustion you made way to the bedroom.
Watching you leave, Astarion let out a sigh rocking her gently as her cries started to soften. “Did you want your mother to sleep? Is that why you were crying so hard little star?”
Looking up at her father, she sniffled grasping his fingers as a little smile formed on her face. Small sounds escaping her mouth as she tried to bite her fathers fingers.
“Now,Now little start. That is not food.” Chucking, Astarion pulled his finger out of her grasp as he sat down on the nearest sofa, his gaze softening letting his finger caress her little cheek. “You and your mother are the best thing that has happened to me.” He whispered.
He owed so much to you, to the infant in his arms. His heart swelling with happiness as her eyes started to close, falling asleep in his arms. “That is my little star, get some much needed sleep. You deserve it.”
Leaning down, he placed a small kiss to the top of her head.
I made myself sad with this one lol, I really like it though! I also think it could benefit a lot from color, so I may turn this one into a full illustration eventually 👀💕
Idk who needs to hear this, but I keep seeing "reload every time Astarion disapproves" memes and felt the need to do a PSA.
Stop.
You don't need to. If you want to be a goody two shoes and help everyone ever and still get the guy, you can. Most of his approval/disapproval stuff counts for like 1 point.
There's really only a couple of major decisions that give the MAJORITY of his approval. And chances are, if you're romancing him youre going to be doing those naturally.
Im sitting pretty at exceptional and have been for two acts. My character argues with him constantly and annoys the hell out of him by helping people left and right.
All jokes aside, you can check your specific approval score by flipping over to the far right tab of the character screen. Your rating will be in () and you can see just how much youre gaining by torturing that bird and decide if it's worth it in the long run XD.
Rivals to lovers with him is so rewarding, don't fear the disapproval. Unless of course you're going villian/villian and in that case hats off to you.
some facts about astarion that i find very cute/meaningful :)
i wanted to share this so more people can learn about him and appreciate who he is deep down, behind the mask he wears. before cazador turned him, he was just like any other person; he had hobbies, passions and emotions. those things are still there, but they’re just hidden amidst all the darkness. he was so young when he first turned that he barely had a chance to enjoy life or figure himself out. so many people miss out on the complexity of his character due to only focusing on his physical appearance or labelling him as a cruel villain, but in order to see that he’s so much more than that and he’s capable of growing as a person, all you need to do is show him a bit of love!
- he loves embroidery and poetry
- he approves when you pet the owlbear cub because most people view it as a monster (the same way people have always viewed him). it’s like he finds comfort in the fact that you can love and care for something that most people are afraid of, and it gives him hope that you may feel the same way about him too
- if you put a flower on his grave, he smiles and says "cute"
- he comes up to you in camp just to thank you and tell you how grateful he is that you allowed him to make his own decision (after you defend him and don't force him to drink the drow's blood) because he is so used to being told what to do and he was forced to use his body for so many years
- in that same scene, he will hold your hand whether you choose to stay in a romance with him or be friends instead, because he loves and appreciates you no matter what, and any sort of relationship with you is so important and meaningful to him
- if you try to romance karlach and astarion at the same time, he tells you to choose karlach over him, even if he loves you and it hurts him to do so, because he can see that karlach loves you too. he says that normally an arrangement would work for him, but after everything karlach has been through and how fragile her heart is already, he doesn’t want to get in the way or see her hurt
- if you try to romance halsin and astarion at the same time, he just wants you to do what makes you happy, even though you can tell it hurts him if you choose halsin. he’s also worried that you’re unhappy because he hasn’t slept with you (he should never have to worry about that ☹️), so he doesn’t want to stop you from enjoying yourself. in this situation and the one with karlach, you can see that there are moments where he puts others before himself and thinks about their feelings more than his own
- if you’re playing as the dark urge and you’re trying to resist it, he is so incredibly comforting and tries to give you strength and encouragement. one of my favourite astarion lines is this: “you’re not alone in this, none of us are.”
some more lines that i love:
“i don’t hate you. because this is not you. but whatever it is, you’ll get through it. and i’ll be here to make sure you do.”
“whatever it is that’s controlling you, we can fight it. i know that better than anyone.”
“this thing won’t have you. it won’t win.”
“easy now, darling. you’ve got this. and i’ve got you.”
- when you try to break up with him because you’re transforming into a mindflayer and you tell him you’re becoming something horrible, he gets so upset that you would even think that way and tells you that you’re wonderful and he doesn’t care about what you look like. then he says he would get more stares walking down a street than you to try and make you feel better
- if you love and care for him and remind him that there is still good out there, he genuinely wants to grow, be a better person and break the cycle of power and terror that started centuries ago
- he approves when you help people that are considered outcasts or "freaks" because he has felt that way too
- he risked his life and got punished for letting a man go instead of luring him back to cazador because it’s implied he cared about him in some way and he couldn't hurt him (not entirely sure about this one, this is just how i interpreted it based on his voice and mannerisms when he was talking about him)
- he approves when you give an orphaned child food (act 3)
- he becomes vulnerable, honest and more gentle with you once you start treating him like a person, because for the first time in his life, he actually feels safe with someone
- he's extremely insecure despite the mask he wears at the beginning of the game and he doesn't believe he is capable of being genuinely loved for who he is as a person. when you get close to him and tell him you care for him and give him a hug, he is taken aback at first, but then he believes you and hugs you back. also, when you're playing as the dark urge, you get this line: "you like him for more than his looks, but he will never believe that." this is proof that astarion is so used to being reduced to his physical appearance after what he was forced to do for so many years, and he thinks that's the only reason why people like him. he struggles with intimacy and forming strong emotional bonds, so that's why it makes your relationship with him even more meaningful when he realises that you truly do love him for who he is, not just for his looks and body
- when the drow you met at moonrise shows up in act 3 and tries to make you drink something, astarion tells you to say no, because the only thing she's offering is pain and he doesn't want to see you hurt
- if you romance him, stop him from doing the ritual and help him defeat cazador, he tells you that you are the only person he's ever truly cared for
- if you defeat cazador without him and tell him you just wanted to protect him, he gets upset at first because you left him behind without telling him and he wanted to take revenge himself, but then he becomes understanding and says “maybe this is what’s best? the kind of power that ritual offered could ruin a person. even me.” this shows how much he’s grown and matured as a person and he’s aware of the consequences of too much power. the scene also ends with him telling you that he’s grateful for something that you did to help him (again).
- he becomes more self-aware, straightforward and honest over time and he doesn’t pretend like he’s perfect. he tells you that you were by his side through all the bloodlust and pain and misery, despite all of his flaws and mistakes. you remained patient with him and trusted him even though it was an objectively stupid thing to do, but he is so grateful for it because you believed he could become a better person (and he did)
- this is sad but he remembers some of the names of the people he had to lure back to cazador and even the memories he shared with them. you can see this during the scene with sebastian, and it’s clear that he actually cared about him (not sure how many situations were like this, but there was definitely more than one)
- if you say “i’m sorry we couldn’t save the other vampire spawn”, he says:
“we could have tried. we could have given them the same chance i had. i was able to go out into the world and make better choices. to go against my nature and become more than a blood-sucking monster. maybe they would have done the same. or maybe not - but did we have the right to take that choice away from them?”
this scene shows how much astarion has grown and how compassionate and empathetic he can be towards others. he understood what it felt like to have his own freedom taken away while cazador made all his decisions for him, so he didn’t want to put the other vampire spawn through that too (especially because he still feels so guilty for luring them there in the first place)
of course astarion gets mad early game when you do nice things for no reason. can you imagine getting out of the hell he was in and discovering that the world is awash in kindness, just never for you? the gods do answer prayers, just never your's. people go on long, dangerous quests for strangers with no reward guaranteed, but you just never saw those people. now that youve already done the impossible and escaped, you can see that rivers of sympathy and compassion flow all over but for some reason they always dried out before they reached you. where was all this good in the world when you needed it most?
