Golden

You're a marionette in the center of All the twisting strings coming from above It may seem too deep to recover from It's so easy to see, everyone can agree, just let it go Roman Darius Taylor West | 23 | 3rd year

[josephonice-deactivated20170622]

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Are you living your life or just waiting to die? 

[staggot]

Isn’t it so great to be the most beautiful person in the world? not that you would know cause it’s me but can you imagine?

[antihcros-deactivated20181215]

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( you love it when there’s blood on your tongue & you’re ready for war but wait just a little bit more; take what you came here for you got me with your fingers on my throat & my head on the floor you’re taking what you came here for )

[andrewwalkcr-blog]

[text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] You’re so selfish.[text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is.

[text]: I should have never let you back into my life.[text]: What the fuck was I supposed to do? Lie? You need help.[text]: I’m not sorry. If you hate me for it, fine. Whatever.

[text]: Please don’t do this.[text]: Sorry, Roman.

[text]: You want nothing to do with me, I get it.Seen, 3.12AM[text]: I’m coming over.[text]: I have ice cream. [text]: I’m sorry.

[text]: You’re so selfish.[text]: HAHAHAHA.[text]: You’re a fucking hypocrite. But if that’s true? I guess I’ve been hanging out with you too much.

[text]: You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend.[text]: And you’re not worth staying around for.

[text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is.[text]: I said I was sorry.[text]: How many times do you want me to apologise for that? I’m so sorry.

[romanwest]

Text // Andrew & Roman

Roman: you look like the dude from atlantis

Roman: yeah ok u inspired me to google animated movies

[romanwest]

[text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that.

[text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that.

[text]: do u wanna come over

[text]: i have 101 Dalmatians

[text]: pls

[whambamthankyoubram]

more texts for you bitches

[inkbloomed]

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH

[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w [drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH [drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever [drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known [drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like [drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss [drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon [drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight [drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS [drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated [drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol. [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin [drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE

[romanwest]

Slipping Away // Will & Roman

Vampire/Werewolf au

There were always things out there. Things that had once held the power of fear, of mystery and had only recently become cliche. They were always there, underneath it all, with fingers dipped into every aspect of society, and faces hidden in the shadows. Roman learnt this when he was very young, when he was taken in by people who seemed unnaturally cold. He learnt many lessons in a short span of time. Not to ask too many questions, not to dwell, and not to speak his fears out loud. At that age, he was young, and human, and when he went to bed at night, he feared the possibility of what was out there, and what he couldn’t escape from. A lot of things had changed since then.

He’d always preferred things at night. There was less hiding behind one’s own eyes, the cover of the literal shadows allowed most people to relax. They didn’t expect to be seen. Roman was still getting used to it, the way the neon lights of nearby bars nearly burnt his eyes with their intensity, or the sounds and scents all became one, painful blur. A lot had changed since he last snuck into the city, none of it good. Gemma had been announced as the Wests’ heir. There was less expectation and scrutiny on him now, but it didn’t change the fact that he hadn’t managed to make it out in time. The Wests had taken everything he had, and in the end, they didn’t even want him for their precious legacy. He was only important now because of what he meant to Gemma. They’d keep him around to keep her compliant, and that was probably the extent of his use to them.

He was lurking, and drowning in his own self pity, wandering around the city at night like the cliche he was turning into.

“You look like death.” Roman turned his head around slowly, already knowing who was there. His senses were mostly blocked by his own inability to sort through all the new stimuli, but he could still place voices.

Roman had befriended Will years ago, primarily to piss off his parents. Then he discovered how great Will was in bed, and their relationship stagnated at that point. They were friends, but not exactly close. Vampire usually hate werewolves because they viewed them as less civilized, and werewolves hate vampires because they were ‘pretentious rich fucks’. Roman couldn’t really disagree on that point.

Will winced when Roman faced him, his guess confirmed. Roman was no longer a member of the living, and Will knew he’d never have chosen that. If it hadn’t been for Gemma, Roman probably would’ve run away ages ago, and possibly even joined Will’s pack. It wasn’t that he was overly fond of the idea of werewolves, more just enamored with what Will had established. They were like a family; a weird slobbery family of dog people who had no qualms about showing physical affection. Basically the opposite of what Roman had grown up with.

“It’s not too bad,” Roman replied, shrugging. His voice was empty. Now that he had all the time in the world, he planned to mope for at least a few centuries.

“Do you wanna… talk about it?” Will looked like he really didn’t want to talk about it. Roman gave him a small smile and shook his head, shoving Will lightly. “Nah, you’re good man.”

Roman paused then, and grew slightly more serious. “Though, I wouldn’t mind if you told me where Andrew is right now.”

[promptsmemesandrps]

Our Muses in Different AUs

this is my first time trying something like this so i hope its alright!

Send me “peek in the mirror” and I’ll tell you what I think our muses would be like in a…

High School AU

Coffeeshop AU

Royalty AU

Modern AU

Band AU

Animal AU

Winged AU

Angel and Demon AU

Mythology AU

College AU

Soulmate AU

Flower shop/Tattoo parlor AU

Victorian AU

Monster Hunter AU

Vampire/Werewolf AU

[romanwest]

Unexpected Places

College au featuring Roman, Gemma, Andrew, Will, and Daniel. 

It was freezing, snowing, and Roman was having a great time curled up into a burrito blanket and reading. It certainly wasn’t the time for Gemma to start bitching at him to come to the gym and practice kickboxing with him, but Gemma was the type of person who saw a challenge, and was then determined to sock it in the jaw. The shitty weather was one of these challenges.

“You’re going to lose your spot on the track team if you only exercise when the weather’s nice.” Her tinny voice came through the phone, which was malfunctioning because he recently dropped it in the school’s pond. Will had valiantly fished it out for him, but he was still in dire need of a new one. He had to steal Gemma’s for his last selfie, and she didn’t understand the point of cases with lights built in, or fancy additions to the camera. He had looked terrible, and that was something Roman West could not tolerate.

“Fine, but you owe me starbucks.” Gemma groaned on the other end, probably because she found Roman’s order of a caramelized honey cream frappe with extra chocolate sauce, caramel, and whipped cream to be a crime against humanity. Also, she knew Roman was trying to put off the actual exercise by meeting her in Starbucks.

Roman finally dragged himself out of his nice, warm, beautiful bed, and forced himself to get ready for the day. Gemma said she’d meet him in two hours, which would seem absurd, considering there’s a starbucks on campus, but Roman West was not one to take his appearance lightly, and 2 hours was almost cutting it close. His shower took 45 minutes, and included several hundred dollars worth of skincare products, then he spent around half an hour on his hair, which ended up looking the exact same as it did when he woke up that morning, and then his face took him another twenty. It was the twenty first century, and Roman was allowed to put on as much makeup as he pleased, even if it usually didn’t go beyond a natural look. He then took another half an hour picking out his clothing for the day, which gave him around negative five minutes to get to starbucks. Gemma was going to kill him, even if she was used to his chronic lateness.

Lastly, he called Andrew, because if he was going to convince Gemma out of exercising, he wasn’t going to do it alone.

“Dude, hey, meet me at starbucks. I’ll get you something sweet.” He took his time heading out the door, knowing Andrew wouldn’t take too long to get to the shop. He didn’t know if Andrew even brushed his hair in the morning. “Yeah, sure, you can bring Will. Just keep him off Gemma, you know how she gets.”

Twenty minutes later, Roman arrived at the local Starbucks, and Gemma looked pissed. She’d probably been there for half an hour, even though she knew Roman well enough to know he’d be late. He spotted empty and lipstick stained cup of coffee in front of her, and knew he was right. She took the Wests lesson of promptness to heart, whereas Roman always liked to do the exact opposite of what his adoptive parents wanted. Gemma was going to be a defense lawyer, and Roman was studying the useless combination of latin and classical history with a minor in English literature. Everyone always asked him if he wanted to be a teacher when they heard that, and grew confused when Roman happily told them he wanted to be a tattoo artist for a living.

“Is that a new shade?” he asked as he sat down, nodding at the lipstick marks on Gemma’s cup. She’d just finished her coffee and the cup was stained to all hell, but somehow, Gemma’s lipstick was still dark as sin, and perfectly applied. Gemma had probably sold her soul to satan for that power, Roman was still trying to figure out how she did it. Maybe Mrs. West taught her.

“You’re late.” She gave him a glare, but he knew it was with love. She hadn’t expected anything else.

“I may as well be early, considering how late I usually am.”

At that moment, Andrew bounded in, looking just as sunshiney and cheerful as he always did. Gemma looked between them, her expression darkening with realization. “You invited him so you wouldn’t have to practice with me,” she accused, taking another sip of her coffee to hide her frown from Andrew. Her lipstick was still perfect when she put it down. What the fuck.

Gemma wasn’t unhappy to see Andrew, but Will, who was always by Andrew’s side, was another matter entirely. Gemma fiercely insisted she hated Will, and wanted him nowhere near her, but both Roman and Andrew knew she secretly loved him. It was impossible not to, really, not with a face like that. Will didn’t seem to know that, though, as he was always chasing after Gemma’s attention.

“I would never,” Roman said, pumping his voice with enough offense to make it clear that was exactly what he did.

Andrew had gotten caught up at the counter, where the barista was probably trying to convince him to go back outside. “No, no, he’s trained, I swear.” His words were directly contradicted by Will tearing away from Andrew bounding over to Gemma, jumping up on her and greeting her enthusiastically.

“I hate dogs,” Gemma mumbled, trying to push Will away. Not very hard, though, Roman noticed. Will was not at all deterred.

“He just wants you to love him. It’s kinda sweet, really,” Roman commented as he reached over to pat Will’s head. He was adorable, and came as a package deal with Andrew. Andrew even brought him to class, and everyone had stopped questioning it. Occasionally, when the teacher was incredibly exhausted and overworked, they’d try to give Will homework.

Once Will had tired of annoying Gemma, he happily bounced back over to Andrew, picking up the squeaky football he always carried around. He wouldn’t play with any other toy, and wouldn’t leave that one alone. When tryouts for the school football team were on, Andrew brought Will and tried to convince the coach to pull an air bud. Will aced the tackling and the catching, but wasn’t very good at throwing.

The barista seemed to have given up and just resigned himself to being yelled at by his manager later, as Andrew happily walked over a moment later.

“Hey guys,” Andrew pulled up a chair, sitting down and grinning at them both. That grin froze when he saw how grumpy Gemma looked, and he glanced between the two West siblings for a moment before realization came over his face. “You used me again,” he accused, staring at Roman. Roman shrugged, this was a repeat of a scene that had happened a million times. “You’re getting some sugar out of it. And I know Gemma would die without her quality Will time.”

Hearing his name, Will perked up, trying to stick his head over the table to steal Gemma’s scone. Gemma pushed him away, but Roman knew she snuck him a small piece under the table. Will looked damn smug.

“Speaking of sugar, I’ll let the two of you catch up. I gotta go order.” He ducked out before either of them could get mad at him, knowing they’d be over it and talking about Harry Potter, or whatever it was they talked about, when he got back.

The barista was still eyeing them grumpily, but Roman was semi confident he wouldn’t spit in their drinks. Semi. He did look pretty annoyed. It was kinda cute, really.

“I’ll have one grande caramel macchiato, and a grande caramel caramelized honey cream frappuccino with extra chocolate sauce, caramel, and whipped cream, and a cake batter cake pop.” The barista looked at him like he was crazy, and Roman gave him a charming smile in return. “And your name, if that’s on the menu.”

He got the same look, most likely because the barista was wearing a nametag, which he obviously glanced down at, to make sure Roman caught the hint.

“Daniel,” Roman replied, trying out the name in his mouth with a grin. “Do you ever go by Dan? You look like a Dan.”

“Your total’s going to be thirteen dollars and seventy five cents.” That wasn’t promising, but Roman wasn’t deterred. He pulled out his credit card to pay, and when he got his receipt, he left his name and number on the back of it with a little heart.

Daniel made their drinks grumpily, which Roman was now convinced was his default. When Roman triumphantly brought them back, Gemma and Andrew were discussing something intensely, and Will was up on a seat, his head in Gemma’s lap. She was petting him absently, and he looked like the happiest dog in the world.

Gemma broke off her conversation with Andrew when Roman sat down, giving him another glare. “You’re coming to the gym with me tomorrow, don’t think you’re getting out of it.” Roman almost whined in reply, but the glare Gemma sent him shut him up.

“I got you a cake pop,” he said, still pouting as he handed Andrew the small baked good. At least Andrew would always love him, if he kept buying him sugar. He couldn’t say the same about Gemma and her damn love of exercise.

No one’s allowed tell al I made will a dog ok make it a surprise dont ruin this

[romanwest]

Lost Somewhere // Will & Roman

[codenameeagle-blog]

Will doesn’t know anything about foreign gay romances. He really doesn’t want to, either. They seem pretty pretentious, and Will doesn’t like reading subtitles. He’s usually too engaged on the motion on the screen to pay attention to reading. Roman liking them, though? That makes complete sense. There’s a lot of indie, rich people things that Roman really likes that Will just doesn’t understand or get. It’s a product of two very different people being raised in very different environments.

“Maybe if you ask nicely,” Will answers back, a smirk on his face. Roman curls into him and Will just relaxes. This is something he can do. He has a great movie, good company, and popcorn. Well, the popcorn is technically out of his reach but he can get it if he wants.

“No way dude! This is one of the greatest action movies of all time!” Will really likes Bad Boys. It’s the perfect balance of humor, explosions, and action scenes. He’s always been a big Will Smith fan too, so that doesn’t hurt, either. He continues muttering the lines under his breath, trying not to annoy Roman has the movie goes on.

[romanwest]

Roman really wished he hadn’t allowed Will to pick the movie. It wasn’t that bad, really, but Roman was dramatic, and the amount of action on the screen was nearly dizzying. There was nothing subtle about the movie, and everything was laid bare on the surface. It was boring, and loud, and Roman had no doubt he’d fall asleep before the movie was finished. 

“Is this why you accepted Hudson’s offer, then?” he asked, looking up at Will with a small, teasing smile on his face. Will was a bit of a stereotype, with his American guns, and love of football, but Roman never really minded. “The promise of guns and explosions?” 

He looked back at the screen, the two things he mentioned having a horrifying amount of screen time. “It’s all a bit boring, if you ask me.” He settled his head down again, feeling both sleepy and comfortable. “Will Smith is hot in this, though.” 

[romanwest]

Let Go // Daniel & Roman

[daniel-chakrabarti-deactivated2]

Daniel huffed a bit at Roman’s stubbornness, but he didn’t argue. There wasn’t any point. It was hard to be understanding when there were so many mixed feelings going on inside of him, but in the end, he knew he needed to let it go until Roman was back to being himself. “You win,” Daniel relented. “We’ll talk when you’re less tired.” He followed Roman’s gaze, seeing he was staring at his door. “Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” Daniel raised his hand so that he could press a kiss against their entwined fingers before he gently tugged him into the room. He made certain to close the door behind him before he kicked off his shoes. He debated whether he should help him with his archery equipment, but instead decided to just settle on the bed and wait for Roman to come to him. “I like these,” he said, pointing up at the stars above him. They reminded him of Roman a bit, beautiful and distant but brought a certain peace to Daniel anyway.

[romanwest]

Roman nodded, not saying anything else. He didn’t want to talk about it, or talk in general. He was tired, and talking with Dan always drained him, there was always some emotional component to it. He followed Daniel into the dorms, contemplating whether the other thought they were dating. If he did, that would be another long talk for a different day. He didn’t try to constantly turn the other down, but there were certain things he wasn’t ready for, and wasn’t about to rush into. He didn’t want rush into anything, or commit to anything; all he wanted was to sleep, and pretend things weren’t going on around him. 

“I take it your cameras never faced the ceilings,” Roman commented, no anger in his voice as he put his bow away carefully. It was one of the few things he wouldn’t be able to just replace if he broke it. He didn’t waste any time, crawling into his bed and just laying there, propped up against the wall. 

[romanwest]

After Hours // Roman & Cora

[inkbloomed]

Cora walked with the crunch of gravel beneath her boots. She didn’t bother wearing heels to these events. She enjoyed dressing up, a reflection of the wild vixen she used to be. Now, it was more tame, practical despite how little her hunger has dissipated. Her green hues flickered among the crowd, falling in step towards the outskirts of it. It was only two hours in and she was tiring of it. Wanting to clear her head, she moved along. She didn’t know anyone would be out there – much less Roman.

Despite how reclusive he was, Roman sure did know how to make himself the life of the party. He was vibrant as the sketches he made for himself. She tilted her head to the side, watching him closely. “Let’s just say I was bored.” Her voice came out surprisingly well, despite already being faded. Jude always had the best supply, though Lord knows where he actually got it from. Plucking up the joint, she pressed it against her lips, breathing in the harsh line of smoke. “What brings you all the way out here?” She asked, smoke cascading from her lips.

[romanwest]

“Maybe I got bored, too,” Roman said with a shrug. It wasn’t a real answer, but he doubted Cora wanted a real answer. He usually loved parties, but that night, everyone was starting to get on his nerves. Most of Hudson’s parties weren’t that big, as the school was so small itself, and Roman wanted something new. It was too much of the same, and not even the drugs could make that interesting. 

“The only thing that changes is the music,” he said, keeping his voice soft. He could still hear the music, but it wasn’t near loud enough to drown him out. “Not even who I go home with is different. This school is way too fucking small, you know? It’s fucking boring as hell.” 

[romanwest]

Let Go // Daniel & Roman

[daniel-chakrabarti-deactivated2]

“Is it?” Daniel asked with a small chuckle, glad that he was able to make Roman smile. It was a victory in his eyes, glad that he could curb what Roman was feeling, even if it was only slightly. “Well, if you say it then it must it must be true. Though, as long as you find me adorable, I don’t think I mind being cliché or an idiot.” He gave Roman a small wink, wanting to keep his tone light, not wanting the other to sink back into that state, knowing how hard it was to pull out of it once it took over.

Daniel was surprised when Roman took his hand, but he laced his fingers with his allowing Roman to lead him across the grounds. He frowned when Roman stopped in front of him, using his other hand to run his fingers through his hair irritably. It took everything he had not to roll his eyes at the lie, instead choosing to sigh instead. “You act like I don’t have the same problem,” he said, shaking his head. “But fine, we’ll ignore it. I won’t mention it. Just know that I wasn’t offering out of pity or anything like that. I want to be the cliché love interest and spoil the crap out of you.” Daniel shrugged his shoulders. “Am I allowed to do that?”

[romanwest]

“I don’t have a problem,” Roman replied, a stubborn frown fixed on his face. He’d get over it, he always did, even if it felt like he was drowning. He could never see an end, but one always came, and because of that, it wasn’t that big a deal. He isolated himself, and he dealt with it himself, and he’d always been fine enough in the end. He didn’t need Daniel’s help, nor did he need Daniel’s pity. “Good,” he seemed to relax slightly at the deal, the frown slipping away, though it wasn’t replaced with a smile, instead, he just looked tired again. 

“I’m just tired,” Roman replied, looking away from Daniel and staring in the direction of his own dorm. “Can we talk through things later?”

[romanwest]

Let Go // Daniel & Roman

[daniel-chakrabarti-deactivated2]

Daniel couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped his lips at Roman’s comment. “I think that might be the first time someone’s said that to me,” he said, glad that Roman didn’t step away when he touched him. He wanted to kiss him but could see that Roman was already on the verge of running, so he just smiled, allowing his hand to drop to his side. It was stupid, but he knew in his heart that there would never be anyone besides Roman for him. Maybe it was because of what he read, some of what was passed down to him unknowingly when his mother taught him about their religion, but he couldn’t shake the idea that his soul knew Roman’s and would find his in any life they’d share together.

Hearing that Roman trusted him, almost made Daniel forget himself, but he gave Roman’s hand a squeeze back. He could see how terrified he was, so Daniel allowed his hand to slip from Roman’s, knowing that if he wanted it back then he could grab it himself as they walked back. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.” Daniel knew that Roman wasn’t after anything, had witnessed the episodes too many times to think he did, but he wasn’t supposed to have that knowledge, and he doubted Roman would appreciate a reminder of all the reasons he had not to trust Daniel the way he did. “Do you- uh, need anything before we head back? Ice cream? Chocolate? Anything? I’ll get it. I’m here to please.”

[romanwest]

“Well it’s true,” Roman said, a small smile coming to his face. It wasn’t big, but it was the first real smile he’d had all day. “You’re an idiot, and so cliche, and it’s unfair, because it’s fucking adorable.” He rolled his eyes, though he looked slightly more content than he had earlier, a lot less empty. There was something there, and he wanted to take it and run with it, no matter what the consequences. He didn’t like feeling empty. 

“Good.” Roman didn’t let Dan’s hand reach his side before he was grabbing it again, tugging him along back to his dorm. He wanted to sleep, and he wanted Dan to be there, even if it would be incredibly boring for the other. “I’m fine,” he said, shooting Daniel a glance out of the corner of his eye. It was a lie, but it was an easy one, and one he was in the habit of telling. It was a habit he had no intention of breaking. “Just, don’t mention it, okay?” He sighed, no longer walking forward as he turned to face Dan. “I’m fine, it’s not that big a deal.”

[andrewwalkcr-blog]

Oxycontin. Oh. That… Made a lot of sense. That was definitely not something Andrew had ever taken, and he doubted it felt like the high he got from vodka sometimes. That threw him for a loop, but he reacted instinctively, kissing the top of Roman’s head without thinking. Years of being both an older and younger brother kicked in, as if on autopilot. And, God, he missed it. He didn’t like Roman feeling like this, not at all, but he was acting like an older brother again, for the first time in over a year. “You’re upset,” Andrew spoke slowly, making sure Roman would be able to understand, “and I’m gonna be here. For all of it. I’m not going to leave. I promise. I care about you, okay?” He felt more tears slip down his cheeks, and he took a breath to steady his voice before speaking again. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He couldn’t imagine Gemma wanting to kill Roman, though he didn’t know her very well yet. Being angry, yeah, he could see that, but she’d probably be more worried than anything else. “Gemma loves you, you’re her brother. She’s not going to kill you.” Keeping this from Gemma seemed like a bad idea, but Andrew couldn’t bring himself to break Roman’s trust, so he agreed again. “I won’t tell Gemma. I won’t tell anyone. This stays here between you and me.” It wasn’t anything Andrew couldn’t handle. Abby had gone through a rough period her Freshman year, and Andrew had been the one she’d gone to through it all. Keeping secrets was something he’d always been good at.

“You’re kinda already doing it, Roman,” Andrew said gently. “You can. You’re doing it right now. You’ll feel better tomorrow. I promise.”

[romanwest]

The last thing Roman expected was for Andrew to kiss his forehead, then move on from the topic. Most people got mad, gave him ultimatums, or just looked so damn disappointed in him. It was a nice change, to not have his habits scrutinized while he was down, and Andrew’s acceptance and comfort felt almost as addicting as the drugs themself, even if he didn’t think he’d let himself have this again. Getting used to something like this wasn’t an option, as he couldn’t let himself fall into a state when he needed to depend on others. He wasn’t exactly happy, but he was alive, and if he let people in then lost them, he didn’t know if that would continue to be true. Gemma was the only person he had room for. 

“I promised, you know, that I stopped,” Roman mumbled with a minute shake of his head. He sniffled, trying to get himself under control. He considered Andrew his friend, sure, but this was still a lot to dump on anyone, never mind someone he only really started talking to a few weeks ago. It was something he usually wouldn’t even dump on Gemma, even though she was who he trusted most in the world. “Promise?” he asked, pulling his face away and wiping at his eyes. He hadn’t exactly gotten everything out, and it was obvious, but he was trying his hardest to pull himself back together, even if the cracks were still evident. 

“I’m going to ask for a refund, if I don’t.” It was a weak attempt at a joke, and Roman felt anxiety surge within him a second later, though he couldn’t piece together why. He pulled away quickly when he realized the sick feeling wasn’t caused by his emotions, and was mercifully able to puke on a spot of ground that wasn’t Andrew. 

“I feel like shit,” he mumbled, sitting back on his heels and feeling oddly empty and very much in pain, with both nausea, and a headache. 

[romanwest]

Lost Somewhere // Will & Roman

[codenameeagle-blog]

“We’ll skip the lifetime movie, then. I don’t think Hudson would sign over the rights, anyways.”Will brow furrows at the thought. the idea of Roman being anything but Roman is a little weird. Will doesn’t know Gemma’s sexuality, but obviously it isn’t straight. He never cared to ask about it. But now it’s a question he wants to know the answer to but doesn’t know how to ask.

Will is a person who feeds off of the energy of others. So when Roman is all tired and apathetic, Will mellows out with him, losing some of the bounce in his step. It’s so very obvious something is wrong, but Roman’s not in a talking mood. He isn’t in a mood for anything, really, and he’s already kicking Will out the door the moment he got there. That’s a sign he probably shouldn’t be alone.

“It’s all good,” Will answers, tossing the bag of popcorn aside. He can eat it later if he wants. Once the DVD is in and past the opening menu Will shifts around next to Roman. They’re side by side, and he opens up his arm, looping it back over Roman’s pillow. The opening scene is one of action and wil’s got his head propped up, making sure he can see the screen from where he’s laying.

“You can come closer dude, I’m not gonna bite.” Will taps the empty space between them, eyes glued to the screen. He silently mouths some of the words, draw to explosions and car cashes, and everything elsea big budget action film should have.

[romanwest]

There was nothing Roman could’ve said to that that wouldn’t have ended in Will getting a personal taste of Roman’s bitterness, so instead he just shrugged, saying, “I prefer foreign gay romance anyways. Eu poderia jogar minha parte.” 

As the opening credits roll, Roman realizes how right Will was, and how much he already hates the movie. It wasn’t like he’d have really enjoyed any movie, at that point in time, but at least he could’ve appreciated one that he knew was good. Action for the sake of action was boring, and Roman didn’t at all understand Will’s enthusiasm. 

“Not even if I ask politely?” he joked, though he knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere. It was second nature to him, to keep conversations going by light flirting, even if he wasn’t in the mood, and Will had put an end to whatever they had. He put that out of his mind, though, as thinking of it would only bring him back to the question of why, and in the state he was in, he wouldn’t get an answer he liked. “Does it not get predictable, if you’ve seen it so many times?” Roman asked, scooting over and letting himself get comfortable right to Will. Will was warm, and comfortable, and though he’d never admit it, that was exactly why he’d invited him over.