Human After All

Roman Wilkes. 19. Slytherin. Death Eater.

[romanxwilkes]

wixenprince‌:

“Maybe you were weak, but I wasn’t. Don’t speak for me.” Severus shot Roman a glare, curling inward on himself as he crossed his arms and made himself small. The corner of his lip pulled into a sneer as he spoke. “This isn’t a fairytale - this isn’t fucking David versus Goliath. Even a wolf is weak when it’s alone and surrounded.”

At Roman’s prompt, Severus did look down at himself, and his eyebrows quickly furrowed together as his face contorted into a confused and offended expression. “At myself? You think who I am has anything to do with losing a couple of rigged duels against a few stupid Gryffindors? What are you trying to say, Roman? That I’m still a loser, while you’ve finally become the fit, popular bloke you’ve always wanted to be?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “If you think you’re so strong now, why don’t you go fight someone who’s a fair match? Maybe someone like -” Demarcus.

Severus’ eyes narrowed slightly and he bit his tongue. It was still surreal to him that Roman’s brother had caused him so much anguish, and yet, he’d been friends with the younger boy without even knowing their relation until much later. Maybe sadism ran in their blood. “… Someone like Avery, or that bloke Rowle.”

“Well what were you then, huh?” Roman might not be the smartest nor the best at socialc cues but throughout the past year, he’s learned to read the body language of his prey, scared and meek. But while he picked up Sev’s hunched shoulders, he totally missed what Severus was trying to say. “So you’re saying you were weak because you were alone and surrounded? What’s the bloody difference?”

“Who fucking else, Snape?” Roman scoffed. “Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? Tell me. Do you look happy with who you are?” Both of them have gone way past the point of avoiding hitting the other person below the belt and it didn’t look like Roman was going to stop soon. “Wrong,” he shook his head aggresively. “It has everything to do with who you bloody are. And yeah, maybe that’s exactly what I’m saying because to me, you barely even changed from the child you were.”

Fuck this, Roman thought and began to walk away when something he said, made his ears ring. “What did you say?” He turned right back at Severus, his eyes seeing red.

[romanxwilkes]

wixenprince‌:

Severus let his wand be swatted away, dropping his arm so that there was nothing between the two boys any longer. His brows were deeply furrowed, jaw clenched tightly as he stared up at Roman, twitching each time the boy shouted. There was nothing left that Severus liked about him - even underneath the facade, he was sure that every cell in the boy’s body had turned cold and black.

“I didn’t let them,” he said in a much quieter voice, breaking his stare and folding inward on himself slightly, hugging his own chest. “I tried to stop them. I know how to stand up for myself, but it was never a fair fight. And we can’t blame ourselves for that - there’s nothing wrong with losing an unfair battle, no matter how much it hurts.”

To be honest, Roman was scaring him now. He absolutely hated being yelled at, and it made him feel shell-shocked and hollow. The boy’s voice echoed in his head. “… You didn’t save yourself, you just put up walls with barbed wire on the outside. I’m not even your friend anymore, Roman, and I’ve got no fucking room to lose friends.”

Roman expected Severus to argue right back. To match his volume and shout. Perhaps he’ll finally hex or curse him. He wanted Severus to do it. Just to prove to the other wizard that Roman was no longer the scared and naive boy he once was. Instead, Severus disappointed him once more as he shrank away from Roman, choosing once more to be weak.

“We,” Roman insisted, ”...let them.” With Severus no longer posing as a threat,  Roman lowered his voice though his heavy breathing still showed signs of aggravation. “Knowing how to or not, what matters is we failed, Severus. We failed because we were weak.” The younger Slytherin just scoffed at the other boy’s denial. “How can you say that? That nothing’s wrong with losing after looking at yourself?” Roman asked bitterly. “At us?”

It was turning into a lecture and Roman hated bloody lectures. “If that’s what I’m doing then so be it.” Roman couldn’t take much of this any longer. He began to step away when Severus threw him that last statement. Even if Roman himself didn’t know it, deep inside, it still mattered what the older Slytherin thought of him. Saying that they were no longer friends hurt Roman. But he was tired of getting hurt. He was a changed man and there was no fucking way he’ll go back to the boy he once was. And to him, that was what Severus was asking him to do. “That’s not my bloody problem.”

[romanxwilkes]

wixenprince‌:

The insults were not appreciated. Severus raised his wand again, taking several steps forward until it was pressed into Roman’s chest. He may have looked pitiful, dwarfed by the sheer size of his old friend, but there was no fear in his dark eyes as he looked up at the boy and sneered.

“Tell me, then, is being annoying enough to deserve a punishment from someone you thought you could look up to? What about being a bit ignorant? Immature?” Severus jabbed his wand a bit harder. “If you’re so bothered by children being children that you can’t take the high road and ignore them, there’s something really sick inside of you.”

At Roman’s accusation, his stern expression wavered and he scoffed. The boy was right - so much for having a loyal friend he could tell everything to. He regretted ever showing him his scars - the pain of betrayal cut deeper than any one of them. “It’s better for me to take my anger out on myself than people who don’t deserve it. That can destroy people. You of all people should understand this!”

Roman’s frown deepened as Severus poked his chest. The younger Roman would have quivered on the spot. But he was a changed man. With his new build, Roman felt invincible. Another reason why he saw no reason to regret how he’s changed. Roman swatted his wand away with his hand. “Point that away from me. You, of all people, do not get to lecture me about being sick, Severus.”

“But, you see, I’m not!” Roman took a step forward. “I’m doing this... because I can.” Finally, the terrifying truth. “The people who used to bully us, they did it not because they were angry but because they can. And we bloody let them, Severus! We let them!” Roman was shouting now. Out of frustration. Out of anger as Severus forced him to remember their worst days. But even so, Roman can’t help to feel like he was pleading. In a way, all his rambles were in fact pleas. A plea for Severus to join him. Like before. To rise up and claim power that was deprived of them before. “That’s where you’re wrong. I wasn’t destroyed, because it forced me to save myself.”

[romanxwilkes]

wixenprince‌:

Severus had a new trick up his sleeve, and although he wasn’t so keen on wasting his spell on someone so harmless, he’d still do it if the boy pushed him to it. “I will do much more than just hex you - so don’t make me do it. I didn’t call you here just for some target practice.”

Slowly, his wand lowered, but he kept it close to his side and ready to use at a moment’s notice. “I told you, I’m not a saint, and I’m not claiming to be, but I’m also not going around slinging hexes at kids that have done nothing wrong.” His eyes narrowed. “You’re taking this very lightly for someone who was subjected to the same things you’re now subjecting others to.”

And then he scoffed, turning slightly away and crossing his arms. Roman was more than right - Severus had not tried to forgive any of the students that had tortured him through the years, and in some cases his relationship with them had become even more twisted than before. “… You have no idea who I’ve made amends with. Still, there are plenty of people that have destroyed pieces of my life, and I hate them with every fibre of my being, but I don’t redirect that hatred onto other people.” He tilted his head. “Do you want to get back at the people who’ve hurt you? At least fucking man up and go after the ones who deserve it.”

Roman knew that Severus was a far better wizard than him, in more ways than one. But the sight of him with his wand pointed, ready to take the taller boy on in a duel looked utterly ridiculous. And he made sure Severus knew it. “Put the wand down, mate. Threatening doesn’t suit you.”

“No one’s claiming that you’re a bloody saint, Sev!” Roman felt his voice getting louder. He was becoming exasperated. “Not with that face, they won’t.” At the mention of his past, Roman’s jaw stiffened. “That’s some faith you have in these kids,” he spat. “And besides that has nothing to do with whatever it is you’re accusing me of.” Roman’s voice was low, almost a growl.

“So enlighten me then! Who have you made amends with? And of fucking course, you don’t redirect it to other people. You only redirect it towards yourself! Or am I wrong, Sevy?” Roman was mad now. Severus had no right to call him out like that. Just because what? Roman was somewhat cool now? That he has friends? Meanwhile, as he looked at Severus, Roman saw the worst parts of his old self. He saw someone still refusing to change. “Who the fuck said that I’m doing this to get back at the people who’ve hurt us anyway? Who said those little shits didn’t have it coming?” 

[romanxwilkes]

wixenprince‌:

Severus’ immediately grabbed his wand from his robes and pointed it at the door, staring Roman down with narrowed, dark eyes. He’d never been good at confronting people - perhaps it was his utter lack of intimidation, or his waning self-confidence, but most people did not take him seriously at first. If Roman continued to ignore him, he’d have to step things up.

“Listen to me,” he ordered, turning slightly to point his wand as the boy instead. “I’m no fucking saint, and I’m sure my life has nothing good going for it, but I’ll be damned if I just sit back and let you torture our peers for the fun of it. Just because some arseholes decided to bully us when we were young doesn’t mean that we should continue the cycle.” In Severus’ mind, the path he was slowly taking towards the Dark Lord was one out of necessity and survival, so although it was easily worse than hexing a few first-years, he didn’t have a choice in the matter. Roman, however, did. “There’s a difference between fighting back and picking fights. Those pricks are long graduated - track them down if you want, or make some damn amends.”

Roman turned to see the older Slytherin pointing his wand at him. His lips curled into a smirk, amused by the sight before him. “My, my, Sevy,” He was almost impressed. “What are you gonna do? Hex me?” His tone dripped with mockery, not believing that his old tutor would actually do such a thing.

“Don’t you think you’re a being a tad too dramatic?” Roman completely turned to face Severus. He took a brave step closer to the other boy, ignoring the wand that was pointed at him. “You make it sound like I’m hacking limbs off of kids. Or that I’m using them to practice my Cruciatus curse. Why are you bringing this up anyway?” Why did Severus care? Was it because Roman was becoming someone people respected on campus while Severus more or less stayed the same? Because Roman changed and decided to leave him behind like the sniveling coward he used to be? Then that makes the older Slytherin more pathetic than Roman had previously thought. “And that’s rich coming from you. You haven’t even made amends with people who are still here.”

[romanxwilkes]

wixenprince‌:

Severus closed the door behind them and locked it with a simple snap of his fingers, swiveling around on his heel and crossing his arms as he stared Roman down. There had been a time when the two of them looked so similar that they could have almost been mistaken for each other, were it not for the hair, but the other boy now stood half a foot taller than him and Severus had to tilt his head upwards just to lock eyes with him.

“I know that I’ve been busy with O.W.L.s… And other things… And sometimes friends just grow apart…” He shifted to rest his weight on one foot. “… But I want you to know that you’re still on my radar. Word gets around the school. I’ve heard about what you’ve been up to.” With one hand, he brushed his hair back out of his face, letting out a low sigh. “You don’t have to contribute to the chaos, you know. There are ways to get revenge that don’t involve stooping to their level.”

On his radar? What was that even supposed to mean? Roman wanted to scoff at how ridiculous Severus sounded but the older Slytherin hadn’t given him time to interrupt. “Oh really? What I’ve been up to?” An eyebrow shot up, teasing. Challenging. Did Severus mean Roman finally getting acquainted with the fifth years and sixth years whom no one dared to cross? Did he mean Roman doing a little thing or two like proving his worth and harassing the annoying younger students or hexing someone’s enemy while unawares? Did he mean Roman finally becoming someone people respected? Feared? It was utterly ridiculous to Roman that Severus was now acting the disappointed older brother. Sure, Roman needed Severus’ company back then, especially when he was constantly targeted by people who were looking for a way to get back at his older brother. But that was a thing of the past. Roman didn’t need Severus now. Not anymore. 

Severus hadn’t even finished talking when Roman began to walk away. “If this is this all this conversation is going to be about then I should really get going. Need to stretch my legs you see?” he said, with his back turned to his former tutor. Remembering that Severus magicked the door shut, he brought out his wand from his pocket and prepared to unlock the door by his own magic.

[romanxwilkes]

wixenprince‌:

… For the Meek Shall Inherit the Earth || March 1976

Hallway near the Slytherin secret entrance, 9:02pm

Quick footsteps reverberated through the dungeon halls as Severus walked back to the common room after being kicked out of the library, his short legs moving as fast as possible without running. After their incident, things had been relatively quiet when it came to James and his cronies, but he still found himself looking over his shoulder whenever he was alone, expecting them to be at his heels in hot pursuit.

However, bullying was on his mind for more than just that reason. It was one thing to protect yourself - to fight back and stand your ground - but there came a point when the line blurred between the bully and the bullied and the cycle spiraled even further, turning the meek into monsters.

Severus turned a corner and locked eyes with a boy who was coming down the hall in the opposite direction of him, and in the dim light he recognized it to be Roman, with his now-muscular build that he couldn’t help but envy. A glance to the left and right showed that they were alone, and he walked past the Slytherin passageway to catch up with the boy and grip his arm, tugging him along to turn him around, back the way he came. “I need to talk to you. Come with me,” he murmured, heading towards an empty Potions classroom.

As Roman changed over the break, it had felt like Hogwarts changed along with him. Roman starting to stand tall and no longer feeling like he needed to hide himself made Hogwarts feel a little bit smaller. The young Slytherin rarely needed to look up to someone. He started looking down on others more too. No longer needing to always stay hidden in the shadows or near the castle walls for security, Roman began seeing Hogwarts in the light, walking in the middle of the halfways as younger students made way. Even changing his walk made the castle feel different. His strides were no longer shy. He breezed through the hallways with a newfound swagger. Hogwarts no longer felt like the hunting ground wherein Roman had to hide. It was a battlefield and Roman was a player.

Roman left the common room that night for a stroll, simply to stretch his legs when he bumped into his former tutor who he still asked for help with Potions now and then. Lips that once only smiled nervously eased into a wide confident one. Roman gave him a nod of acknowledgment before continuing on his walk before Severus caught his arm. The younger Slytherin the lack of greeting and was mildly concerned as Severus pulled him into an empty classroom. “What? What is this about?”

[romanxwilkes]

ROMAN WILKES

House: Slytherin Age: 19 Born: March 25, 1958 Blood-status: Pure-Blood Zodiac Sign: Aries Year: 6th Sexuality: Heterosexual Relationship Status: Single

FAMILY:

Father: Gauis Wilkes (fc: Ian Mcshane) Mother: Gong Wilkes   (fc: Gong Li) Eldest Brother: Antonius Wilkes - Hogwarts 1969   (fc: Tay Ping Hui) Older Brother: Demarcus Wilkes - Hogwarts 1970   (fc: Pierre Png) Younger Brother: Floris Wilkes - Hogwarts 1980  (fc: Benjamin Kheng) Youngest Brother: Larkin Wilkes - Hogwarts 1985  (fc: Shawn Lee)

HISTORY:

- The Wilkes family is a far descendant of Ignatia Wildsmith, the brilliant mastermind behind the Floo Powder and Gauis Wilke will never let his sons forgot. A gripe that the patriarch had inherited from his father was that over the centuries, the descendants of Ignatia were forced to acquiesce to board members and business partners as they slowly took control over Floo-Pow, the only licensed company to create Floo Powder in Britain. And now, Gauis Wilke, a true descendant, mind you, can only rise as high as liaison to the Floo Regulation Panel.

- Gaius would always pit his children in a competition. It started with small things. Who could fly the highest? Who could eat the most slices of black pie? Then it started becoming more brutal, with his made-up games whenever all his sons would get together during the holidays. He’d orchestrate duels and capture-the-flag scenarios. One camping trip even turned into a full-blown battle royale that lasted a couple of days. Gaius’ personal intentions were very much clear to him. He wanted the best from all of his sons. He wanted them to soar in high places that will bring the Wilkes family back to its glory. And the way he could do that is by creating a vicious competition within the brothers. Gaius didn’t even care if any of the brothers cheats. To him, there was only one thing that mattered. Winning.

-   Antonius Wilke and Demarcus Wilke were tough acts to follow. Born seven years and six years ahead of Roman, they were given the most responsibilities and often the most praise. They were both prefects in their respective years in Hogwarts. Both had positions in Slytherin’s Quidditch team. Antonious even made Head Boy. 

- Roman always felt that he was in competition with his two older brothers. In their parents’ eyes, Antonious and Demarcus have both set the standards of what Roman and his younger brothers should be. Anything less than what they were able to achieve would already be a failure in their eyes. Roman always felt as if he was lagging behind. He wasn’t athletic like his older brothers. Roman lacked the natural talent on a broomstick. He wasn’t as smart, either, (Given the fact that the two weren’t even included amongst the top students in their year reveals a lot.) 

- Roman was practically still in nappies when Floris was born. The two were close to each other, being each other’s playmates. And they learned to band together against their two older brothers whenever Antonius and Demarcus tried to take advantage of them using the older brother card. During their father’s games and competitions, Roman and Floris would always work together first, only pushing their alliance aside when it’s only the two of them left standing. 

- Floris, however, couldn’t be more different from Roman. While Roman preferred to do things first and think about it second, Floris thought things through and would often hold his older brother back from doing something overtly dangerous. While Roman eventually became the muscle of their duo, Floris was the brain, concocting the best plans of revenge against their eldest brothers. Still, Roman was very protective of his younger brother. He wouldn’t hesitate to teach anyone giving his younger brother a lesson they won’t forget.

- Larkin is the youngest of the Wilkes brothers and is naturally the most spoiled. Larkin gets what he wants to his brothers’ irritation. Roman has often considered Larkin as the demon child, always insisting that he’s adopted or that he was only found in the streets underneath hippogriff dung. If given the chance, Roman wouldn’t hesitate to smack his own brother hard on the back of his head. With consequences or not, hitting his devil of a brother would always be worth it.

HOGWARTS YEARS (1971 - 1978):

- Roman was a thin kid growing up. Even if his family could afford well-fitting clothes that did not come from his older brothers, his skinny frame could not be hidden. Along with his short temper, his unfounded better-than-thou attitude, Roman was an easy target for bullies who wanted to put him into his place.

-  After years of being pushed around by older students and his older brothers, Roman finally snapped at the end of his third year in Hogwarts after one particularly bad incident involving his head being dunked in a toilet. He swore to work on himself and never allow anyone else to take advantage of him again. Roman fixed his diet. He started exercising to get bigger. He even practiced on his broom and learned new hexes and curses to terrify anyone who even tries to push him around again.

- That following year, Roman was almost unrecognizable. No longer was he the skinny kid who looked like he’ll get carried by the wind if it blew a little harder. His arms and chest were bigger. Harder. Growing an inch or two didn’t hurt either. To his surprise, not only did the older students stopped harassing him, they started seeing him in a different and started asking him to hang out with them. Roman soon became like the people he detested. He started bullying the people whom he used to be bullied with. And he loved it.

- Roman tried auditioning for a Quidditch position every year since he was given his broom during his second year. Roman fell from his broomstick during his first and second audition. By his fourth year, after Roman finally worked on himself all summer, Roman finally stood a chance. Unfortunately, Roman still came in second. He snapped his broom in half that year. Finally, in his fifth year, he tried for the position of Chaser. But while he had the speed and fearlessness, his aim was lackluster and the Captain still chose to go with the old chasers. However, they did make Roman into a reserve Chaser, just in case any of the three, for one reason or the other, couldn’t play. Roman, begrudgingly accepted, hoping for the day that he’d get to prove himself.