W H I M P E R

“They say the captain goes down with the ship, so when the world ends, will God go down with it?” { ronan bailey | 20 | scout }

[ronanbailey-blog]

F A M I L Y  T R E E

Pg 1. Martha Buchanon (mother - deceased) Arthur Pike (father - deceased) Abel Pike Ronan Bailey

Pg. 2 Jack Pike (half brother - status unknown) Adam Pike (half brother - status unknown) Michael Pike (unconfirmed half brother - deceased)

Pg. 3 Joanna Pike (half sister - deceased) Delilah Pike (half sister - status unknown) Lydia Pike (half sister - status unknown) Hadassah Pike (half sister - deceased)

Pg. 4 Cameron Leroy (friend, compansion, unofficial guardian - deceased) Lucy Patterson (friend, former carer - status unknown)

[gxrgeousgeorge]

Aladiah hadn’t been at the Jotunheimen camp for more than a month, but she already hated the place. It was stupid to feel that way, she knew, when they were providing her with shelter, but she hated it. Maybe it was because there was too much going on- someone was always talking or moving past her- or maybe it was simply because she had grown adapted to living on her own. She didn’t have to rely on anybody, she knew that, but it was easier this way and she was running out of options. Still. She could bet on the fact that even though she’d been there for a month, she had solidly avoided almost everyone at the camp- probably only uttering about 20 words in total. Even when she saw someone walk straight up to her, she didn’t dare say a word. Instead, she raised her eyebrows just the slightest as if to ask, ‘What do you want?’

[ronanbailey-blog]

     Ronan didn’t talk to people if he could help it. Sometimes it was demanded of him, when you’re a scout and have to give constant updates of your safety then it isn’t something that can be easily avoided. He knew he came across as standoffish, Ronan was told that enough that it was just part of his personality. He communicated via mumbles and grunts, hand motions and facial expressions; anything to avoid talking to someone. However, when he came face to face with people exactly the same, it was incredibly irritating.

     “Move,” he said, elongating the word. He gestured to behind the woman dramatically, his expression flat. “I need to get past. There’s a door and you’re in the way, please move.”

[tobiashagen-deactivated20170307]

     Tobias saw it from the corner of his eye, a body getting a bit too close to another and someone falling. He’d started in the direction before he even heard Ronan’s voice through the wind, but that only served to help him pick up the pace.

     He shoved himself between the two bodies before anything could arise, physically having to put a hand on Ronan’s chest to keep him away from the other.

     “Stop it,” he hissed, directed more towards the young boy than the other, “we don’t need an argument starting up, just keep going, it probably wasn’t on purpose.”

[ronanbailey-blog]

     Ronan hadn’t seen Tobias coming, he’d been too wrapped up in his temporary anger to notice the older man approaching at all. Thus, the hand on his chest was more of a shock than anything and he almost flinched away from Tobias’ hand. Ronan didn’t even look at him, keeping his glare on the person that had tripped him as Tobias hissed at him.

     “I wasn’t starting an argument,” he snapped at Tobias, actually turning his head and looking straight up at him. “If somebody tripped you up on a mountain you’d be pretty pissed off too.” In turn, Ronan put his hand on Tobias’ chest and gave a small, yet pointed, push back with less aggression rather than mild mocking, keeping it there for a moment to make his point. “Don’t put your hands on me, please.”

[fearlessarcher]

All Sebastian could find himself thinking about was how he should’ve packed another scarf. Mason was right: this hike was nothing like the trails he’d take with his father back home in Pennsylvania. Even when he’d done part of the Appalachia in the middle of winter. That was a walk in the park compared to this. The musician genuinely wondered if he’d even have a nose by the time he made it back to camp. If he made it back to camp.

Just as he was about to reprimand himself for having such a morbid thought, he’d overstepped and someone was yelling. It was a common thing for him to pick up his pace whenever he started spiraling deeper and deeper into his thoughts. And it didn’t help that the person ahead was shorter, their gate smaller. Flinching at the obscenity, Sebastian’s eyes instinctively narrowed. He wasn’t prone to violence or showing it, he was fairly pacifist in nature, but everyone’s temper had shorted substantially a few hours in. So focused on not physically scowling, he’d spoken without thinking. “Why don’t you saddle up on the pup? We’d make better time that’s for sure.”

[ronanbailey-blog]

What an odd reaction was Ronan’s first thought. It was no secret that Ronan was short tempered, his temper even shorter so when his senses were being assaulted by the cold and the layers of snow slowly soaking through his clothes. Realistically, he knew it was a mistake and that he was taking it personally because his mood was fowl. It wasn’t like it was going to get better any time soon, there was still walking to be done and that was before they had to explore the ship.

“She isn’t strong enough,” he said, after a pause, “she’s small for her age. Anyway, I need her to help bring supplies back and I don’t want to exhaust her.”

[ronanbailey-blog]

If Ronan lived 1000 life times, he would never, ever pick anywhere cold to live in any of them. He almost regretted joining the expedition, if it weren’t for the prospect of leaving that godforsaken camp then he wouldn’t have been tempted by anything. He’d been to this place before, felt the overwhelming hope but apprehension that came with finding a ship possibly stocked with things that they desperately needed.

Their situation was perilous at best. Someone was constantly starving, constantly sick, constantly injured because they tripped over a rock in the snow like an idiot. The potential supplies in this ship could do a lot for them. 

That didn’t change the fact that it was windy and Ronan had come to hate hiking more than anything. He took large strides through the snow, determined not to let his lack of height or leg length make him fall behind. It was freezing (what else was new) and the wind was bitter, Ronan walked with his arms wrapped around himself and his eyes squinted against the sharp breeze in the air. Luka padded at his side, looking around eagerly at the new surroundings and the vastness of it all. Things seemed to be going...well, better than awful when he tripped and tumbled over in the snow.

He felt the catch on his heel, it had to have been someone taking an overestimated step and tripping him. Whether by accident or not, Ronan was pissed about it. “Asshole!” He yelled as he clambered back up to his feet, “Watch where you’re going.”

[gustavnylen-blog]

“Why not?” Gus shrugged, an easy smile on his lips. “Things spiraled down so quickly, what’s to say they can’t get back up in my lifetime? I’d like to think I’ll be around for when the world recuperates from this and restaurants once more fill up our streets.” He leaned back slightly, an easy smile on his lips as he imagined it; there was a particular street back home in Gothenburg laden with restaurant-slash-bars that he’d always enjoyed visiting. 

[ronanbailey-blog]

     The optimism should’ve been endearing but Ronan found himself only vaguely annoyed. He thought it was unrealistic for people to think like this, the world had frozen over and nothing had changed in 3 years. Ronan couldn’t see things ever going back to normal, not in his life time anyway. “Well, breaking things is way easier than fixing them, right?” He said, shrugging. “I’m willing to bet the rest of the world looks just like this place now. I don’t see it changing any time soon.”

[a-torms-deactivated20210521]

Myra sighed for a moment and watched Ronan. While she didn’t believe that everyone would drop dead the next morning because of a cold - but this was a different time. Anything could be intensified, even a simple cold. “Does your wolf stay in the cabin with you? He doesn’t move all night?” Myra asked as she bit her lower lip. There were a lot of supplies in here and she wasn’t certain how willing she was to put any of it in jeopardy. “Would he go through our supplies?”

[ronanbailey-blog]

     “She is domesticated,” Ronan said, irritation clear in his voice. He’d raised Luka from a puppy, training her like a regular dog helped keep her safe for the other camp dwellers but she’d only be like that as long as Ronan, or someone she was familiar with, was there to tell her what to do. Ronan was damned if he was going to leave her with Tobias. “She stays with me. She won’t go through supplies, she doesn’t know what any of this—” he gestured to the room, “—is. She’ll stay away from, it’ll only interest her if it’s food or it’s in the shape of a rabbit.”

[sighpeter-blog]

“Is there a difference?” Lauren teased, stuffing another bite of her food into her mouth. She’d never been one to think about eating healthy, in all truth. She was a firm believer that what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. Or fatter. But she’d been blessed with a fast metabolism, so she didn’t get fat very easily. Her friends had envied her for it.

“I’m sure there’ some vitamins in chocolate. You know, they say it’s good for your heart and shit.” She considered his vitamin C comment. “I’d love some strawberries. Those have, like, tons of vitamin C, right?”

[ronanbailey-blog]

     Ronan’s face went deadpan and he just looked at Lauren for a minute, processing her question and trying to decide if she was being serious or not. “Yes,” Ronan said after a pause, “there is a difference. One is in a can, one is not.” He didn’t have the energy to try and be nice about things anymore. Ronan came off as kind of a jerk and it was because he kind of was, it was just his nature.

     “Coco beans maybe. Chocolate is all sugar, dark chocolate isn’t as bad but it’s still not...healthy.” Ronan wasn’t even that clued up on healthy eating, he was raised on a food that they made themselves at home, vegetables grown in their own vegetables patches and meat from their own animals. Tinned fruit was their ‘junk food’. “Yep. Strawberries are great, good luck finding any around here though,” Ronan said.

[margomarques-deactivated2017031]

     He was probably one of the least threatening people in camp. Sal didn’t know how to use a weapon. Except a gun. Sort of. He’d never used one before, but it couldn’t be that different from a camera and he was good at using cameras. He probably shouldn’t have tossed the coat, since it was sort of rude, but honestly, Sal was frustrated enough and Luka wasn’t helping his frustration. He gave Ronan an annoyed look before leaning against the wall.

     “Please don’t say stuff like that around me, I don’t appreciate it,” Sal said calmly. He was normally patient with people, but when it came to religious matters, his mother had instilled a respect for religion. Normally he was a pretty laid back sort of person, but today he was tired and didn’t really feel like dealing with Ronan or really anyone for that matter. “Some more than others,” Sal crossed his arms over his chest trying hard not to sound like he was trying to be rude because he wasn’t. “You look like you need a break.” Sal thought Ronan probably should have been trying to leave. Maybe he was just cold. “Are you just cold, or are you actually about to leave?” Sal asked before he leaned over to help. “Because you look like you shouldn’t leave this cabin at all today.” Sure his own muscles were sore and cold did nothing to help aches and pains, but Sal wondered if Ronan knew his limits or if he was really just that bored. 

[ronanbailey-blog]

     “Fine.” It wasn’t as if Ronan particularly enjoyed talking anyway, if this was another excuse to stay quiet then he was going to take it. Ronan grew up with religion, although a warped view of what it should be and mean he was raised it with nonetheless — and he’d come to resent it. He wasn’t in the mood for a lecture, especially in regards to religion of all things.

     Ronan rolled his eyes, trying to be subtle at first then giving up almost immediately. They could all use a break, everything was hungry and in pain and tired but Ronan wasn’t about to be the guy that takes a back seat. Maybe he felt like he had something to prove, he’d been in the group from nearly the beginning but he constantly felt like a stranger. If people started viewing him as lazy then he wouldn’t be able to evade that reputation.

     “I have to go out,” Ronan managed, speaking through gritted teeth — partly due to pain, partly so he wouldn’t end up snapping at Sal. “That’s not really an option,” Ronan said as he quickly shoved his arm into the sleeve, taking the ‘rip it off like a band-aid’ approach as he shrugged the coat on. “There’s stuff to do.” Realistically, Ronan knew he shouldn’t even be attempting this. He knew his body, he knew he was hurting and that nothing good would come from going outside but he had try, right?

[1980vibes]

[ronanbailey-blog]

1, 29, 146

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

“No one?”

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

“What makes you think I have any ex’s?”

146. Was today a good day?

“It was the same as yesterday and the day before that and the day before that and the-...”

[hplyrikz]

I’d say go to hell, but I never want to see you again.

Sylvia Plath (via hplyrikz)

[ronanbailey-blog]

21, 43,109

21. What are you bad habits?

“Someone used to tell me my bad habit was answering questions but question but I dunno. Biting my nails? Picking at scabs?”

43. Do you smile at strangers?

“Why would I do that?”

109. Is something irritating you right now?

“Probably.”

[gustavnylen-blog]

No matter how much Gus tried to focus on the book laying open on the table in front of him – considering it was important for the next lesson he had to host – he couldn’t seem to. Feeling the need for a distraction, he lifted his gaze to the nearest person. “You know what I really miss? Going to a restaurant. A fully staffed, fully working, fully occupied restaurant… with chatter and clinking… the dark red walls and the golden lamps that all has that classy look to it… I honestly can’t wait to get back to that some day.”

[ronanbailey-blog]

     People are adorable, Ronan thought. There were things he missed about the old world too, such as the warmth and not being constantly afraid of frost bite. He often thought if he could pick anywhere in the world to get stranded in, during an ice age, Norway wouldn’t even crack his top 50. “You honestly think things will get back to that one day?” Ronan asked, trying to keep the contempt from his tone. It was a fantasy thinking that the world could return to normal, Ronan figured if it’d been nothing but snow and ice for three years then they were probably in this for the long haul.

[a-torms-deactivated20210521]

Myra watched him carefully at the mention of cold and bit her lower lip. “I’m afraid that I can’t let you go back to your cabin.” She told him while her hands dangled between her legs. “I’ll have to speak to Tobias about it, but I don’t think it’s a great idea to let you return and possibly extend your cold to others. We have some with low immune systems, and since there’s no physical contact due to risk of diseases being spread around – it’s smarter that you stay here where I can keep an eye on you until your cold is dealt with.”

[ronanbailey-blog]

     Ronan’s heart dropped. All he wanted was a god damn vitamin C tablet and now he couldn’t go back to his cabin? In the three years he’d lived in the camp, this had never happened and he wasn’t happy about it, not one bit. “Yeah – that isn’t going to work for me,” Ronan said, attempting to clear his sore throat and instead accidentally making himself choke. “I mean, unless you let animals in here. I’m the guy that has the wolf with him all the time? If she can’t stay in here neither can I.” It was either that or the wolf would spend all night howling and keeping the whole camp awake.

[dictionaryofobscuresorrows]

Mauerbauertraurigkeit

[princesspudding]

n. the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like—as if all your social tastebuds suddenly went numb, leaving you unable to distinguish cheap politeness from the taste of genuine affection, unable to recognize its rich and ambiguous flavors, its long and delicate maturation, or the simple fact that each tasting is double-blind.

[sighpeter-blog]

Lauren made a face. “I wouldn’t say awful… But you’re right, there are better things.” She could think of so many things she missed, it was hard to think of just one. But if she had to choose, she’d pick her grandmother’s chocolate brownies.

“Peaches? That’s what you’d bring back?” She wrinkled her nose. She didn’t dislike peaches particularly, but if she had to choose one thing to bring back, it wouldn’t be fruit. “I would give those limbs to a much noble cause. Like chocolate cake. Or coffee.” She missed coffee dearly, too.

[ronanbailey-blog]

     “Tinned peaches,” Ronan corrected. That was the strongest memory of Ronan’s childhood, tins of peaches after long afternoons of working in the sun. It was one of the few things he missed about home. Plus, they were way more nutritious than McDonald’s. Ronan was boring like that, he loved chocolate and stuff covered in sugar but he also cared about, y’know, being alive.

     “Meh,” he said simply, “all that stuff is fine but it’s so bad for you? Here especially, you wanna be fantasising about all the stuff with vitamins. Damn, what I wouldn’t give for some vitamin C.”