roof: yo im blue

main/art acc : @roofogato welcome to my shitpost / reblog acc C:

[i-am-a-fish]

"enjoy it while it lasts" (undercuts itself, needlessly doomerish, foreboding)

"enjoy it!" (straight to the point, actually encourages enjoying it)

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[lightninggrave]

i really fuck with it when my oomfs start their posts in media res. they'll open it with a phrase like "it's just funny because..." and then i look at their blog to see what's funny and. nothing.

[aokozaki]

It's like how Beowulf opens with a call to attention.

[lightninggrave]

posting is exactly like beowulf

[hypotheticalpeople]

guy with bad association with car horns from childhood because the cars would honk their horns every day before they ran him over

[hypotheticalpeople]

the most parasocial princess of all time just outlawed using the unspecified second person pronoun in music

[hypotheticalpeople]

She eats with her left hand when the meal is a right-handed meal

[translatingpostsintonynorsk]

hypotetiskefolk

Ho et med venstrehanda si når maten er høgrehendt mat

[hypotheticalpeople]

guy who starts sympathy spinning whenever he uses his microwave

[hypotheticalpeople]

he beeps as well

[cpericardium]

happy pride

[389]

I'm kinda fagged out by life. Life is a fag. And I'm fagging it. I hate my life.

[kaylmao]

work like a red onion

play like a white onion

fuck like a green onion

[princessnastyaromanov]

Why is NOBODY talking about the FIFA World Cup

[lavagoth]

Visit Original Link

[tinybed]

[lavagoth]

Visit Original Link

[tinybed]

[lavagoth]

Visit Original Link

[tinybed]

[lavagoth]

Visit Original Link

[tinybed]

[blasesaint]

[capacity2]

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

[starlit-syncopation]

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

[capacity2]

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest