Future X-Man

I appreciate someone who can do the robot.

[rooreh]

You’ll never think you’ll be ready to be a dad ,but when the time comes you realise you have been ready your whole life. UP THE RA .

[grawly]

[isofrolick]

[mahboi]

[ladyghostbusters]

[apimeleki]

actually me

[dysonairbladefan1992]

[marinasdiamondheart]

When Lies comes on in the car

[tralillian]

[aicosu]

AHHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH MY GOD

[roachpatrol]

‘what is that, an elf?’

[sepulchritude]

he’s so angry

[jasper-rolls]

[em-ily-grace-deactivated2020072]

Two Medieval Monks Invent Bestiaries

By Mallory Ortberg on The Toast

MONK #1: do birds have meetings MONK #2: absolutely they have a Meeting Hat and everything MONK #1: what do they have meetings about MONK #2: mostly who gets to wear the meeting hat

MONK #1: do human women sleep in beds or– MONK #2: no that’s dogs you’re thinking of MONK #1: right right

MONK #1: what part of the knight do fish go on MONK #2: the head MONK #1: thanks MONK #2: oh absolutely no problem at all MONK #1: both lying flatwise across the head, or…? MONK #2: no one on each side like ears MONK #1: ok great

MONK #1: so when a dog and a bird make out MONK #2: right MONK #1: it’s usually the bird that’s on top right? MONK #2: yeah usually MONK #1: great

MONK #1: hey is it owls or people that live in caves and build fires? MONK #2: owls

MONK #1: hey roughly what size are sparrows MONK #2: mm it kind of depends MONK #1: like AS big as a tree or not quite as big as a tree? MONK #2: oh pretty much the same size as a tree

MONK #1: can cows sail boats? MONK #2: hahaha no common misconception they have to put wheels on the boat and roll it over land

MONK #1: what do birds eat MONK #2: other birds mostly MONK #1: like different kinds of birds, or something else MONK #2: no birds only eat exactly the same kind of birds that they are

MONK #1: what kind of bird tucks people into bed at night usually I mean MONK #2: any bird any kind of walking bird MONK #1: and when it tucks you in, people usually look… MONK #2: incredibly worried it’s incredibly worrying when the bedbird tucks you in

MONK #1: ugh sorry to bother you again MONK #2: no no its fine this is what i’m here for what is it MONK #1: what part of a goat is a snail again like the front end or the back end MONK #2: what part do you feel like should be the snail part MONK #1: the back part? MONK #2: you shouldnt doubt yourself you know more about goats than you give yourself credit for

MONK #1: what usually rides horses like people or– MONK #2: fire

[effington]

Tbh this is the funniest post on this dumb website

[isofrolick]

[isofrolick]

[maybethistimemegz]

[xen-o-morph]

[miraguey-deactivated20160812]

!!ATTENTION EVERYONE!!

4TH OF JULY IS CANCELED FROM NOW ON! A FIRE WORK JUST WENT OFF AND IT SCARED MY DOG! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! SHE DOESNT DESERVE THIS! DOGS DONT DESERVE THIS!

[jenfold]

Because the gifs can’t do justice to the insanely funny horror that is Mr Blobby on the Big Fat Quiz of the 90s.

[camphowl]

I seriously cannot handle this.

[tastefullyoffensive]

by The Perry Fellowship Bible