d e v o n
almost home
RMH
#extradirty
Andulka
Cosimo Galluzzi
dirt enthusiast
Sade Olutola
Origami Around
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Not today Justin
h
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Mike Driver
$LAYYYTER
KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
@theartofmadeline
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@roosterwrite
Once in a blue moon I get asks on here still and I should express I’m deeply sorry I ended up not following through with what I had said in the previous answered ask. My life style was forced to rapidly change briefly after that and I just, completely forgot. I’m going to keep this blog up because people once in that blue moon say they still enjoy these stories. Just thought I’d say something before I totally pretend this blog does not exist.
“Jesus Christ Gavin!” Michael shouted. He sat up right beside him, and had panic among the irritation in his voice. “You scared the hell out of me!”
“Sorry,” Gavin whimpered weakly in response.
“It’s okay,” Michael exhaled. His heart was still going a mile a minute. If it wasn’t for the insistent lightening and thunder, he would have been worried, but in this case he knew the cause of that scream of distress. Gavin was terrified of thunder. Michael looked over at the glowing red numbers on the clock at his beside table and sighed heavily seeing it was three in the morning. “Gavin—“ Michael was cut off by another boom of thunder. The house even shook, and that made Gavin begin to shake himself.
“Michael,” Gavin spoke feebly.
“Come here,” Michael said softly, pulling Gavin back into his arms. Gavin was quick to latch onto him again, tangling their legs, and wrapping his arms around Michael tightly. Michael had his arms around him, and a hand stroking at the back of Gavin’s hair. He winced each time their was a clap of thunder or crack of lightening, but more so at the sound of Gavin’s whimpering. The storm wasn’t lighting up, and Michael wasn’t really concerned about sleep at this point. He just wanted the light of his life to calm down.
“Hey Gavin,” Michael called out gently.
“Hm?” Gavin half whined in response.
“You are my sunshine,” Michael sung softly, “my only sunshine.” Michael could feel the small smile on Gavin’s face, and it made him smile. Another clap of thunder rumbled through the house, and Gavin tensed, but Michael was quick to squeeze him tighter. “You make me happy, when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you.” There was a crack of lightening, but Gavin remained calm. He was focusing on Michael’s voice, just as Michael had hoped. “So please, don’t take my sunshine away.”
“I love you Michael,” Gavin murmured. He moved back slightly so he could kiss him, and Michael returned the kissed tenderly.
“I love you too. You’re safe, okay? Try to sleep.” Michael kissed Gavin once more before he ducked and nestled back into his spot against him.
The storm went on through the night, but Gavin was able to sleep peacefully. As long as Michael was there, he’d be safe, and Michael always was.
I'm back let's look in the Achievement Hunter ta-
nevermind
goodbye
WHERES THE OTHER PART TO EXPLOSIONS
I’M FOCUSING ON MY ACTUAL STORY RIGHT NOW I’M SORRY.
“Have you heard from him Geoff?” Gavin asked him, anxiously tugging at the cuff of his sleeves.
“No,” Geoff regrettably answered. “He went back to the house to get something, right?
“Yeah…but he’s not back yet, and he knows this whole schedule down pat. He knows it’s all happening in five minutes. Where is he?” Gavin said, clear fear and worry in his voice. “What if he changed his mind?” Gavin blurted out the sudden fear in his mind, and gave Geoff the most horrified expression.
“No, hey, hey,” Geoff frowned. He walked over to Gavin who looked ready to cry and put a hand on his shoulder. “It could be literally anything but that. He loves you man, and you know that.”
Gavin’s attention went to the door when it opened, hoping it was Michael, but it was Ray.
“Man I am so ready to marry some dudes today...where’s Michael?” Ray wondered. They couldn’t find the right pastor for them, so Ray registered and made it so he could legally marry people. He went around trying to get two people to say I do to each other for the first week after he registered.
“We don’t kno—“ Gavin stopped mid-sentence to gasp hearing his phone go off. It was Michael’s ring tone, which was Meteor Shower by Owl City. “Michael," Gavin sighed in relief with a smile. “You had me worried. Where are you?”
“Sir?” It was a women’s voice on the line.
“…Who is this?” Gavin said, his mood deflating.
“The owner of this phone has gotten into a terrible wreck. You were his first contact, so we called you. He’s at Grady hospital, and—“
Gavin couldn’t keep the hold on the phone as his whole world crashed down around him.
--
They all rushed to the hospital, but no one ran faster than Gavin who had been trying to keep from crying the whole speedy car ride there.
“I need to know where Michael Jones is,” Gavin said to the front desk, his words rushed together.
“And what relation do you have with him?” the women asked.
“No, it’s alright. I think I know who he is.” It was a doctor with a clipboard in his hands. He flipped through a few pages, then looked at Gavin, and then to the other welly dressed members of Rooster Teeth behind him. “You’re Gavin Free, right?”
“Yes,” Gavin answered instantly. “Please, let me see him,” he urged, voice breaking.
“Alright,” the doctor sighed warily. “Come with me."
They all followed behind the doctor, but Gavin was right next to him, almost going ahead. He needed to see Michael, and know he was okay, but when they reached the room, the doctor stood in the way with a stern expression.
“You need to know, he’s not going to make it. There’s not much we can do for him at this point.”
“What do you mean?” Gavin questioned helplessly. “You’re a doctor! This is a hospital! You have to do—“
“His organs are too damaged. We did all we could." "You can't be serious--" the doctor cut him off again. "He doesn’t have much time left, do you want to argue with me, or see him?” the doctor put it bluntly. “He can talk, but he’s weak, and really does not have much time left.”
Gavin didn’t reply. He just pushed the doctor aside, opened the door, and tried not to throw up at the sight before him. Michael was hooked up to what seemed to be a million things, and as Gavin walked closer, he could see more and more damage. His limbs were black and blue. His left arm had various lines of stitches and the right had what appeared to be a burn from his elbow up to his shoulder.
“Michael,” Gavin spoke brokenly. He breathed in, and with his shuddered exhale, the tears came out.
“Gavin," Michael replied. Michael’s forehead had a bandage on it, but blood was already seeping through. He had a bruise on his right cheek, and various cuts on the left. Michael had never been in so much pain, and he knew he was going to die, but he still smiled in pure happiness seeing Gavin, like he always did.
“Michael,” Gavin repeated in a sob. “Oh my god, you—“
“Shh, shh,” Michael hushed. Michael had to muster all the strength in his body just to grab Gavin’s hand. “I know, I fucked up, well, the fucking asshole on his cellphone did,” Michael said with a breathy laugh. He was trying to make the best of this, since there was no way this could possibly be any worse. He didn’t want to leave Gavin, and Gavin didn’t want Michael to leave him, but sometimes, life takes things away.
Everyone gathered around Michael’s hospital bed, and wondered what to do now.
“What did you even go back for Michael?” Gavin asked tearfully.
“Vows, but thinking about it now, I don’t need it, so let’s go. Let’s do it,” Michael said, squeezing Gavin’s hand.
“Michael, what are you talking about? We can’t now, you…” Gavin stopped to sob and shake his head.
“You still want to get married, don’t you?” Michael rasped.
“Of course Michael,” Gavin answered with a nod, “but…”
“But nothing then, let’s do it. Ray?” Michael cued, looking over to him.
“Oh, yeah. Right here dude,” Ray said, clearing his throat. They all were repressing the need to cry at this moment, Michael’s last moments. “We have gathered here today to marry the one and only, Gavin Free, and the one and only, Michael Jones, who will now share their vows.” Ray was summarizing, rushing, all while struggling to keep his voice even.
“Can I go first?” Michael asked with a small smile.
“Yes,” Gavin said, putting his other hand over his mouth. He couldn’t keep from crying. He was desperately trying to muffle it, but it wasn’t working.
“Gavin Free, you are my best friend, and the best thing to happen to me. Do you remember the day I told you I loved you?” Michael asked hoarsely.
“I do,” Gavin sniffed, removing his hand. “Of course I do. You kissed me, said you loved me, and I was never happier.”
“Me too,” Michael said with a nod. “I was so happy that day, because there is no other person in this whole world I want to spend my life with. From the day I met you, you’ve made me smile. You’ve made me the happiest person alive, and sometimes I think it’s impossible to love you anymore than I already do, but you always prove me wrong. Everyday I love you more, and spending my life with you is all I’ve wanted. You’re all I’ve wanted, and needed…” Michael trailed off, eyes fluttering shut.
Everyone was tearing up now, specially Ray, who had noticed Michael’s heart monitor change pace. He gave a wary look to it, then to Gavin, who also knew.
“I love you Michael,” Gavin said, tightening the grip he had on Michael’s. Michael’s grip was slipping, weakening. He was fading, and it was clear to everyone in the room. “I’ll always love you, Michael.”
“Now do you Gavin, take Michael, as your husband, to love and to hold?” Ray summarized more, his eyes flicking between the heart monitor and Gavin.
“I do,” Gavin instantly replied. “I do,” he repeated, gently placing his other hand on Michael’s cheek. He bit back tears hearing the heart monitor picking up pace again, and seeing that Michael barely reacted to his touch.
“And do you Michael, take Gavin, as your husband, to love and to hold?”
“I do,” Michael breathed.
“I now pronounce you man, and man. You may now kiss your Brit,” Ray said, finally breaking into tears. Michael had told Ray that’s how he wanted that part to go, and he didn’t think it’d be so heart breaking to say.
Gavin quickly kissed Michael, and clutched his hand desperately, as if it could keep him alive, just a little bit longer.
“I love you Michael,” Gavin said softly against Michael’s lips.
“I love you too, Gavin Jones.”
Gavin’s whole life slipped through his fingers in that moment. Michael went limp, and the daunting sound of the flat line filled the room, just as everyone’s sobs did. The day where he was suppose to start the rest of his life with Gavin, was sadly, his last.
please, make a squeal for Explosion because I got a lot of feelings and afsdgthjukldf.
I'm working on it right now~! So everyone yes, I'm working on it. c:
Explosions
It was Michael and Lindsay's wedding day. Gavin was pick to be best man, and it was a tragically ironic thing. He was the one in love with Michael, and he was the one Michael didn’t pick. At times Gavin thought he was just a toy for him, but he took back those thoughts for just a few seconds.
Everyone was buzzing around, and Geoff, knowing how Gavin was internally, advised him not to go see Michael alone. He knew it’d probably lead to nothing good, but Gavin assured him it’d be alright, and went into the room where Michael had been getting dressed. Everyone else had left, and it was about ten minutes till show time, so Michael looked as polished as ever in that tuxedo.
Gavin tried to ignore the ache that stemmed from how badly he wanted to be the one to have him, and closed the door behind him, ready to face this demon and put it to rest. The sound of the door closing snapped Michael’s attention away from the mirror, where he was nervously pulling at his tie, and to the one in the room who took his breath away. It was that moment where Gavin felt as if Michael actually wanted him. Michael’s breath noticeably caught in his throat, and he couldn’t help but scan Gavin at least five times. He was just handsome as Michael in his tuxedo, and the way it made him feel confused Michael. They could be standing there under the same conditions, but under different terms. They could marrying each other. They could have gotten married, and spent their lives together, but things don't always go as one would think they would go.
“You came to talk to me,” Michael said, still looking and sounding dazed.
“Yeah,” Gavin said with a nod and a forced nervous laugh. “I couldn’t help it."
“Where’ve you been?” Michael asked, his gaze averting from Gavin briefly from the tense atmosphere.
“Around,” Gavin shrugged, “I’ve been running around helping with things. It’s my job as the best man, right?” Gavin had a genuine smile and sweet tone to his voice, but his voice was cracking, and tears were collecting in the corners of his eyes. You wasted all that sweetness to run and hide. I wonder why I remind you of the days you poured your heart into.
“Gavin, please don’t,” Michael said firmly. Michael shook his head slowly and sighed unevenly. He didn’t know if he could do this. He couldn’t have this conversation now, but there was really no better setting and place for this skeleton in the closet to be brought out.
“I just…” Gavin had to stop as a shuddered sob slipped out. He wiped away the tears with his sleeve and exhaled slowly, desperately trying to keep it together. “I just wish the time I had with you was longer.” There was a period where he had Michael, but not all to himself.
“I,” Michael paused to try and sort his thoughts out. It was a mess in his head still, so he really had to think hard to try and organize it into words. “I was a coward. I ran, and I hid from my feelings, my true ones. I didn't know what I wanted, and I don't think I know still." Whenever he looked at Gavin now, he didn't see him as just his best friend Gavin Free. Now he was Gavin Free the one he had kissed, woken up with, fell asleep with, made love with, and at one point, wanted. He spent so much time with him, even before then. He just felt filled head to toe with Gavin, Gavin, Gavin, Gavin. There was only one other that took up so much of his heart, but who was the one pushing the other one out? But you never tried. I've fallen from grace. Took a blow to my face.
“You never tried though,” Gavin spoke through his tightening throat. He tried to inhale steadily, but his chest hiccupped the whole way. “And even if you did, it’s clear it wouldn’t help. I’m not the one.” The time with Michael felt like a dream with how happy it made Gavin, but now it was a dream in the sense that he really couldn't tell if it was something that happened with how things still turned out.
Gavin felt like Michael had punched his heart and his stomach ruthlessly. I've loved and I've lost. I've loved and I've lost. Explosions on the day you wake up needing somebody, and you've learned it's okay to be afraid but it will never be the same It will never be the same.
“I loved you, and I had you, but you’re not mine now. I guess you never were though. I lost you, and it’s so hard. This is so much harder for me now since you were once mine to lose. It’s too fuckin' hard Michael,” Gavin finally expressed breaking into sobs. It all felt too real to be standing here with Michael on this day, a day he thought he'd share with Michael in a completely different way. “I woke up today, put on my best fake smile, put on the tux, and thought I could do this, but I can’t. I woke up needing you more than ever. I’m so scared Michael. I’m scared this will make it so I lose you forever.”
“Gavin,” Michael said seriously. He quickly strode over to him and grabbed his shoulders firmly. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay," he insisted tenderly. "You won’t lose me forever. You’ll always be my boy.”
“It won’t be the same though Michael,” Gavin strained to say through a particular painful sob. He was looking into Michael’s eyes as he said this, so he could see the pain mirrored on Michael's face.
“It won’t be the same?” Michael echoed, his hands sliding off Gavin and to his own sides. You left my soul bleeding in the dark so you could be king. The rules you set are still untold to me and I lost my faith in everything. The nights you could cope, your intentions were gold.
“You’ve hurt my Michael, and you know you have. You asked me to be a big role in something that will forever hurt me,” Gavin told him, his voice steadying. The sadness was being replaced by bitterness, and a bit of hopelessness. “What happened didn’t change anything. You didn’t tell me I was just someone to fool around with, someone temporary. I had hope I could be the one, but I obviously have no fucking faith in that anymore. At times it really seemed like I could have you, and what you did, letting me have some sort of trial period with you, it was nice at the time, but what was the fucking point?"
But the mountains will shake, I need to know I can still make explosions on the day you wake up, needing somebody and you've learned it's okay to be afraid but it will never be the same.
Michael grabbed Gavin’s hands, in hope it’d stop his own from trembling, and maybe comfort Gavin. He laced their fingers, and for a few moments they stood there looking at each other. Gavin sniffled and let the tears fall since he could no longer wipe them away, and Michael bit back crying himself until he was unable to stand the sight. He wrapped his arms around Gavin, and Gavin's arms instantly flung around Michael’s body. Gavin held onto him in a way that showed how desperate he’d always been for Michael’s love.
“I’m selfish, but I need to know if you do love me. Do you really still wake up and think of me?” Michael questioned softly. "Of course Michael," Gavin murmured. "I'll always love you, but what's it matter?" “I learned it’s okay to be scared, but I know it won’t be the same either way. If I marry her now, or marry you later, things between the both of you won’t be the same. I know our relationship, as friends, and as lovers, would probably be ruined by this, no matter what I do. I know it's all fucked up now, with the both of you, no matter what I do." And as the floods move in, and your body starts to sink I was the last thing on your mind. I know you better than you think, cause it's simple darling, I gave you a warning.
Michael could feel Gavin’s body shudder with each sob, and with each one he hugged him tighter, or ran a hand up and down his back soothingly. He knew it wouldn't help, but it didn't hurt to help at this point.
“I feel so fucking hurt Michael.” Gavin stated the obvious that was never said, but needed to be so Michael could fully grasp the situation he put all of them in. “I had to be nothing to you for you to actually let this day happen, but I know you Michael. You’re my boy, so I know you. I warned you about this. I called you out on your feelings, how you were scared, and—“ Now everything you own is falling from the sky in pieces. So watch them fall with you, in slow motion. I pray that you will find peace of mind, and I'll find you another time.
“Michael! Time for you to get up there!” It was Geoff knocking and calling out for Michael at the door. Michael and Gavin pulled apart from each other and composed themselves the best they could.
“Everything’s coming together for you as you made it Michael, and I’ll be there, just like always,” Gavin said, able to keep each word of that sentence steady. “I wish you nothing but happiness, and I hope one day, we’ll be okay, like actually okay, no pain, or fucked up feeling.” Gavin opened the door, and kept his head down as he hurried past Geoff, who let out a wary sigh with a worry filled expression. I'll love you, another time. Explosions on the day you wake up needing somebody and you've learned it's okay to be afraid, but it will never be the same.
There was still time to change things. Michael woke up on this day knowing in the pit of his stomach, that this day could go two vastly different ways. He woke up needing someone, but he still wasn't sure who yet. He could change things with someone still, but what change did he want with who?
“You ready to go?” Geoff asked.
“Yeah,” Michael replied stiffly.
“Okay,” Geoff responded solemnly. “Let’s go then.”
Michael followed Geoff to the double doors, to where past them, were the pews of friends and families waiting for what they all had been waiting for, the event of the day that made this day, this day. Michael just wasn't sure who wanted to spend and experience that event with. Michael was staring at the door, and Geoff was staring at Michael, waiting on him, waiting on his choice. Michael knew the choice of deciding between walking down that isle, and turning back from it, would be something that made a permanent change with someone, and something else. Things wouldn’t be the same. A relationship was about to broken, as another was being finalized, but relationship with who? What would change forever, with who?
Michael knew who. The choice suddenly appeared in his heart, and with it, came a smile. -- Sorry if my fics seem repetitive in some ways, and sorry I don't post things when they're at the edited best.
"i got up at 5am and made my son and his boyfriend all these goddamn pancakes"
I always check the reblogs on my fics to check the tags, and I never regret it.
Gavin put a hand on Michael’s cheek, then smiled as he began to lightly trace patterns against his cheek with his finger tips. He couldn’t believe this was real sometimes. He couldn’t believe he got Michael, the only person he wanted and needed.
Michael stirred slightly, then awoke with a smile feeling that delicate touch of Gavin's.
“Morning,” Michael said softly, opening his eyes.
“Morning,” Gavin replied with a grin as Michael moved in for a kiss. Michael really was the only boy in the whole world who could make everything right. Each kiss sent flutters to his heart and stomach, each sweet word Michael ever said would replay in Gavin’s head fondly, and each second spent with Michael was a happy one.
“How’d you sleep sunshine?” Michael asked.
“Good,” Gavin said, still smiling. “Oh man, I can smell mom cookin’ breakfast.” Gavin sat up and stretched, then Michael did the same. They were grateful both their parents had been accepting of it. In fact, they actually thought for months they had been together, just didn't want to come out about it yet.
“I swear at five this morning I smelled her making pancakes,” Michael chuckled.
“Knowing my mum, totally possible.” Gavin laughed, but it trailed off as he looked at the scars on his wrist. Sometimes he hated himself for even doing it. It was a vicious cycle at that time, and remembering it still made Gavin just a little upset, even now, but Michael was always quick to notice when Gavin was remembering things he shouldn’t.
“Hey,” Michael frowned. He gently grabbed Gavin’s wrist and kissed at the scars before he kissed Gavin. “You’re okay now. Everything is okay now,” Michael told him, as he told him many times before, and he’d tell him a million more if he had to.
“I love you,” Gavin said. He wrapped his arms around Michael and nuzzled into Michael’s shoulder with a content sigh.
“I love you too,” Michael smiled, kissing the top of Gavin’s head.Gavin went to pull away, but ended up laughing as he got stopped by their necklaces which tangled. "Fuck, these things always do this now." Michael untangled them, and Gavin just laughed.
"They're just little pricks. They like each other too or somethin'," he chuckled. "You're so stupid, but so cute," Michael mused. "You too, Michael," Gavin returned. "Oh, you think I'm stupid huh?" Michael said, pretending to be angry.
"Only sometimes!" Gavin defended, unable to hold back a laugh. "You can't understand me sometimes still." "I swear you make up words just to piss me off!" This was now a genuine conversation. Michael still hadn't really picked up on all of Gavin's British lingo, but Gavin did sometimes make up words just to get a rise out of Michael because he'd never admit they weren't actual slang, no matter how obvious it was. "Whatever you say ya knob. You're such fl--" He was going to make up yet another word, but Michael silenced him with kisses. That always worked. "Just shut up Gavin," Michael murmured before going in to kiss him again. Gavin smiled against his lips, feeling Michael smiling against his. He couldn't help it. He got his best friend to be his lover, and even before, Michael was pretty much all he needed in the world to be happy.
“Gavin!” Geoff called.
“Yeah Geoff?” Gavin said forcing a friendly smile through his exhaustion. He was working on editing the new Lets Play, and if he didn’t start getting it done he’d probably end up spending all night on it.
“Could you do me a favor?” Geoff asked.
“I don’t see why not,” Gavin lied scooting back from his desk.
“I just need someone to take the boxes out in the hall to the truck. I’ve been doing it but I need a lunch break.”
“Alright, I got it,” Gavin assured.
“Thanks buddy!” Geoff parted, giving Gavin a thankful pat on the shoulder.
Gavin exhaled slowly as he got himself up, and then groaned slightly at the pop of his back when he stretched. He really had to learn to say no, but he really hated denying people favors.
“Moving offices has been such bollocks,” Gavin muttered under his breath as he stared at the boxes. He grabbed the biggest one, and with a hefty inhale he picked it up. He made sure he lifted his knees instead of his already aching back, but he felt lightheaded, and just a little dizzy.
“Thanks again Gavin.” Geoff was at the doors that lead to the parking lot, ready to leave for lunch, when Gavin walked carrying one of the boxes.
“No problem Geoff,” Gavin said with a strained smile. Geoff side stepped out of Gavin’s way and gave him another pat onto his back before he followed him out to get to his car. Michael was just getting out of his car, back from his lunch break, when Geoff got to his car.
"What’s Gavin doing?” Michael wondered, eyebrows furrowed together. He was noticing Gavin beginning to hobble and stumble.
“He’s carrying some boxes to the truck for me while I’m on break,” Geoff replied.
“Okay…” Michael drew out slowly, still focused on Gavin. Gavin was half way to the truck when the box slipped out of his hands, and he collapsed onto his knees. “Gavin?” Michael shouted in panic. Geoff and Michael sprinted over fast as they could, but Gavin had fallen onto his side unconscious already when they got to him. “Gavin!” Michael exclaimed, dropping to his knees beside him. “Gavin, oh my god.” He rolled him onto his back and lightly smacked his cheek with the back of his hand. “Gavin, come on! You’re scaring me!” Michael half whined in fear.
“I’m calling 911,” Geoff said before running off.
--
Michael knew Gavin had been working a lot, and had been coming to bed late, if he came to bed at all, but he didn’t think too much of it. They all felt a little guilt in Gavin’s hospital room. They all felt at fault.
“He’s waking up,” Michael perked up. “Gavin?” He hadn’t left his side, or let go of Gavin’s hand the whole time. Gavin’s eyes fluttered open, and everyone gave warm smiles to him as his eyes wandered to each one of them. “Gavin!” Michael exclaimed latching onto him. “You scared me to fucking death."
“What happened?” Gavin asked softly, placing a hand on the back of Michael’s head. He smoothed his hand across Michael’s curls, and let out a small sigh of content feeling Michael kiss his cheek.
“You passed out,” Ray explained. He had his minecraft rose in his hands, and he held it out for Gavin to take. He took it with his free hand and couldn't held back a soft laugh. “Scared us to death dude!”
“You scared the absolute hell out of me. I had fear flashbacks to like, Slender Man,” Michael said, pulling back. He kissed him at least five times. He ignored the comments and over exaggerated aww's, from everyone.
“We’ve been asking you for too much lately," Geoff said.
“Yeah,” Michael agreed. “You need to take it easy, and these guys will lay off.”
“I don’t mind doing favor for you guys though,” Gavin said, tapping at the minecraft rose in his hand.
“I mind since you fucking fainted!” Michael exclaimed.
“We all mind! You need a break,” Jack said. “Take things easy.”
“But—“ Michael cut Gavin off.
“But nothing. I’m going to take you home, and you are going to rest,” Michael declared.
“Alright,” Gavin sighed in defeat. “Not going to fight that too hard,” he chuckled. Gavin knew he’d be babied by Michael, and at this point he wanted nothing more than that.
When Gavin came home, he knew something was wrong by the way Michael didn’t instantly reply to him announcing he was back from Britain. When Michael said he had to do a Rage Quit and couldn’t make it to the airport, that didn’t strike Gavin as odd, but now he was uneasy.
Gavin sought him out, and found him in their bedroom, but not alone. His lips were still pressed against Lindsay's when Gavin walked in. They both tore away from each other with eyes just as wide as Gavin’s, the only difference being that they didn’t have tears collecting in the corners.
“Michael?” Gavin said it brokenly with an undertone of confusion. He really couldn't believe what he was seeing. He thought Michael would never hurt him, but there he was, not even able to stand the sight of him. He bolted out of the room with a choked sob.
“Gavin!” Michael shouted, dashing after him. Michael was able to catch Gavin outside their front door. “Gavin! Please! Listen!” Michael pleaded. He instantly grabbed Gavin’s hand when he saw he was clearly going to run for it again. There was a pause, because Michael realized he didn’t know what else to say as Gavin sobbed, and refused to turn around to face him. Lindsay passed the two of them, quickly removing herself out of the situation without a word. “Gavin, please,” Michael said, struggling to keep his voice steady. He was aware of how bad this was, and that he might lose Gavin to this, which was honestly the last thing he wanted.
Gavin tore himself away from Michael, then hurried back into the house with his head down, a hand over his mouth to muffle the sobs, and a heart so shattered it felt unfixable. Michael shut the front door behind him as he followed Gavin, only to get the bedroom door slammed in his face. He exhaled slowly and hesitantly reached for the door knob. He hadn’t heard the lock click, and he couldn’t just listen to Gavin crying.
“Gavin,” Michael gently called out. Gavin was sitting on the edge of the bed with his elbows against his knees, and his face buried in his hands.
“You told me I was the one,” Gavin sobbed. He dropped his hands to his lap and looked at Michael, which was almost enough to break Michael’s heart just as badly as Gavin’s. Michael had never seen him that upset before, and it killed him to know it was his fault.
“You are!” Michael assured firmly. Michael walked in front of Gavin and went to place a hand on each side of Gavin’s face, but Gavin swatted his hands away. “Please! Listen!” Michael exclaimed.
“No! What is there to listen too?” Gavin cried.
Eventually Gavin did give up the fight, and let Michael cup his face in his hands. It forced him to look at Michael, but he still refused. He shut his eyes tights as he continued to sob in hiccups, and in response, Michael kissed him.
It was the only time Gavin didn't kiss him back.
“Look at me! Please listen,” Michael begged again. “Look at me, my sunshine, come on…” Michael’s voice was soft, and he was ready to cry himself.
“Why?” Gavin whimpered, reluctantly opening his eyes to look at Michael.
“I want you to look at me when I say that I’m sorry, and that it meant nothing,” Michael explained to him carefully.
“Why would you even do it Michael?” Gavin questioned hopelessly.
“Do you remember how scared I was when I first told you I loved you?” Michael said, his thumbs wiping away the tears that were still falling. “I didn’t want to accept it. It took me years to tell you, because I was terrified. I didn’t want to accept I loved a guy, and it sounds so fucking stupid, but it’s true. I’m still scared sometimes, so I just…invited Lindsay over on terms to see if my feelings were right.”
“Do you hate loving me? Do you even actually love me?” Gavin asked, his voice coarse and broken.
“I love you more than anything in this whole world,” Michael said, kissing him again. He ignored that Gavin even pulled away slightly this time to try to avoid it. “I’m a fucking idiot, and I made a huge mistake. I don’t deserve you right now, but sometimes I don’t think I ever deserve someone as great as you, my best friend, my lover. I’ve fucked up, and I understand if you don’t understand, but I know now more than ever you're the one...but,” Michael stopped, because he started to cry himself, and he couldn’t stop. “I have no right to even be crying right now! Fuck!” he cursed.
He stepped back from Gavin, but then to his complete surprise, Gavin got up, and he hugged him. His arms wrapped around him tightly, and Michael stood there frozen. After a few moments of them crying, one over one’s mistake, the other over the guilt, Michael hugged him back. He grabbed at the back of Gavin’s shirt, as if to show how desperately he needed him, and wanted him to stay.
“I forgive you Michael,” Gavin said faintly. Michael pulled back from Gavin to kiss him in a way that showed how grateful he was for that. He kissed him again and again, even more thankful that Gavin was kissing him back again. He was sure now, that Gavin Free, was the only one he wanted to kiss, and be with.
If it weren’t for the one who had been by his side for most of his teenage years, even now, he wouldn’t bother even to wake up. He gathered up the rest of his things and shoved them in his backpack before slinging it over one shoulder with a heavy sigh. He took a brief moment to look at himself in the mirror, and sigh once again at the dark circles on his eyes. He was getting more restless from the stress. It was becoming too much.
"Michael’s here!” his mother chirped from downstairs. Gavin looked at his open door, and could hear Michael talking to his mom. He heard his mom laugh, and it made Gavin smile.
“Michael.” Gavin said his name like a softly spoken prayer. He looked back at he mirror again, and frantically brushed his hair out with his fingers. He quickly tore his hand away when he heard Michael tromp up the stairs and into his bedroom. “Morning,” Michael greeted with a smile. “Hey,” Gavin replied with a muted smile. He scanned Michael a few times, and searched for the necklace, the one Michael got him when he had noticed cuts on Gavin’s wrist. After holding Gavin tighter and longer than Gavin had ever been held in his life, then making him promise he’d never do it again, Michael got them matching necklaces. He said it was a way to remind Gavin of Michael, his friend who was always there, the friend he made a promise too.
“It is raining like fucking hell out there,” Michael said, unzipping his jacket. The diamond minecraft necklace revealed itself against Michael’s My Little Pony t-shirt. “You okay?” Michael asked with concern on his face.
“Yeah,” Gavin assured with a nod, “just tired.”
“Alright, well let’s get going then. I don’t want to be fucking late again; first period teacher is such a dick. He’ll give me attention for like nine thousand years.”
“Right,” Gavin chuckled lightly.
To avoid the rain the best they could they quickly ran to Michael’s car, one he had gotten for his sixteenth birthday, and Michael started driving them to school, like he did everyday.
Gavin’s fingers fiddled with the creeper necklace Michael had given him idly as he stared out the window, lost in a million thoughts. Every so often he’d glance to Michael, and if Michael caught him, he’d just smile, like he always did at Gavin. Gavin had been grateful for Michael since the day he met him freshmen year when he moved to Texas all the way from England.
Everybody loved his accent and loved the new foreign kid at the time, but nothing really clicked like it did when he met Michael. It was just instant, every day after that they were always together. They didn’t always have the same classes, but they still talked to each other in the hallways anytime they could, and sat with each other at lunch. People use to joke about their bromance, and it just made Gavin’s secret situation more difficult.
Gavin had known for a while he was gay, but it had taken him awhile to accept his feelings for Michael, because he didn’t want their friendship ruined. It at least had survived so far. It was senior year, about two months into the first semester, and it was in the first month Gavin came out. It had to be done after rejecting countless girls. He felt bad for hurting their feelings, and about the fact he was technically keeping something from Michael, but when he told him, he didn't have much of a reaction to it. Gavin told Michael first of course, and all Michael did was say “alright, cool” with a shrug and smile. They continued their game of worms like nothing happened, and nothing changed between them.
Gavin figured Michael would be accepting of that, he just wasn't so sure how he'd feel about his feelings towards him, even if their bromance seemed more romantic at times. Their matching necklaces, constant need to spend time together, and times where they ended up cuddling at sleepovers were questionable, but not enough to really confirm Michael had romantic feelings for him.
“After school did you want to hang out at my place or yours?” Michael wondered.
“Oh, um,” Gavin stammered, snapping out of it. He hadn’t even noticed they were already parked in the school’s parking lot. “I dunno. Wherever you wanna go."
“Alright,” Michael said. “Your house then. I left Portal 2 there, and I still wanna play.” He pulled the keys out of ignition then gave Gavin another smile, and it made Gavin think that he really was perfectly happy with how things were between them, just as they were.
“Fags are here!” one of Gavin’s many bullies announced. He just wasn’t happy with everything else.
“I’m so sorry,” Gavin expressed with a tight grimace on his face.
“Don’t be sorry because those guys are fucking assholes! Fuck them!” Michael yelled, pounding his fist onto his steering wheel. Gavin sighed warily and nodded in response. Michael didn’t even know that they had started to physically hurt him. They always did it the second Michael wasn’t with him. It wasn’t often, but it was enough to start wearing Gavin down. “Come on Gav.” Michael put a hand of comfort on Gavin’s shoulder, then grabbed his backpack from the back seat and got of his car. Gavin followed Michael inside, and found himself holding in a sharp inhale of breath he took in when they reached the school entrance.
The stares, glares, and sneers aimed at Gavin were rampant. Michael gave an occasional grumble of annoyance and bubbling anger towards it all.
“Michael!” It was Michael’s first period teacher calling out to him, and Michael had to use every fiber of his being not to sigh or roll his eyes.
“Goddamn it Mr.Marsh,” Michael muttered under his breath.
“I want to discuss extra credit with you real quick,” Mr.Marsh said, grabbing Michael’s shoulder.
“Okay,” Michael reluctantly replied. “I’ll meet at your locker in a bit, okay?”
“Okay, Michael…” Gavin trailed off nervously. He hesitantly but hastily began pushing against the cluster of students. When Gavin got to his locker he let out an exhale of relief, that turned into a sharp gasp of surprise, and pain. He was gripped tightly by his shoulders, and then slammed roughly against his locker. His face pressed against the cold metal with a whimper, and a quiet plea for Michael.
“Morning, faggot.” Gavin was yanked away from the lockers, only to be punched in the stomach. The wind was knocked out of him, and as he doubled over, he could hear people encouraging his attacker. Gavin had stumbled back a few steps, but was pushed forward and upright again by someone in the crowd that had gathered around them to watch the show.
“I just,” Gavin squeaked, “I just want to get to class.”
“You’ll get there, after this!” Gavin shut his eyes tight and waited for the blow with a hitched breath. He heard the sound of someone’s fist colliding with someone’s face, but it wasn’t his. He opened his eyes to see Michael in his place of the damage he was suppose to take. Before Gavin could respond, Michael lunged and punched the bully right back.
“You don’t ever, fucking touch him!” Michael roared. He had the bully by the collar of his shirt, and with every syllable in that death sentence he shook him roughly. “EVER.”
“Michael!” Gavin exclaimed in shock. He’d never seen him so angry, and Gavin had seen him rage over videogames numerous times.
“You think it’s okay to pick on someone like that you little shit? The fuck is wrong with you—“ Michael was forced to stop mid rant when a teacher finally pushed through the crowd and pried Michael away.
“Office! Now! All three of you!”
--
The principle wanted to talk to them individually. Gavin was first, and second was the bully, who was being talked to now. Michael and Gavin were sitting outside the principle office in two of the five waiting chairs right beside each other. The silence felt too tense, so Michael broke it.
“Are you okay Gavin?” Michael asked softly, his eyes at his feet.
“Yeah, but what about you?” Gavin responded with a frown. Michael turned to look at Gavin, and seeing Michael's bruising cheek made Gavin’s stomach sink with guilt. “I’m so sorry,” he said brokenly.
“Again, don’t be fucking sorry because those guys are assholes,” Michael frowned.
“I know, but…” Gavin trailed off. He reached out and delicately grazed his fingers across Michael’s swelling cheek. He sighed heavily and rested his hand back on his leg, eyes nervously evading Michael’s. "It's all my fault," he said, voice thick with guilt.
“No it's not,” Michael half snapped. He grabbed Gavin’s hand, and held it in his. He gave it a light squeeze and just as he hoped, it got Gavin to look at him. “You are so important to me, and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, ever, okay? You have no idea how fucking angry it makes me when people hurt you. I can’t stand it. I’ll protect you from assholes like that if it kills me, okay?” Gavin felt a swell of happiness in his heart. As he nodded out his okay, he began to tear up. “You’re like, the fucking sun in my life, and I’m going to protect you, no matter what.”
“Thank you Michael. I love you.” Gavin didn’t even think twice about saying it. It just slipped out, and it felt right.
“I love you too,” Michael returned, his voice holding that same amount of solid honesty.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Gavin admitted. He closed his eyes as he let out a shuddered exhale and small sob. “It’d be so hard without you. It'd be impossible.”
“I’ll always be here,” Michael soothed. His thumb stroked over the back of Gavin’s hand, and he put his other hand on Gavin’s cheek to help wipe away the tears.
“You’re my boy Michael. You’re my boy,” Gavin said with another snuffle. “You don’t understand how much I love you.”
“I do.” There was a pause, and Gavin was about to open his eyes to read Michael’s expression, but they snapped open in surprise when Michael kissed him. It was soft and brief, but enough to make Gavin’s heart race. “I do,” Michael reiterated.
School was a lot easier after that day. The principle laid down the law, and when people saw Michael holding Gavin’s hand, or with an arm around his waist, they didn’t dare speak a word. They knew that now Michael was dating Gavin, he really wouldn’t let anyone touch him, or hurt him, and Gavin found comfort in all of that. He knew high school wouldn’t be easy, and it wasn’t, but it was worth it as long as he had Michael.
-- I hope this was good for you anon!
Michael was scrolling through the mavin tag on Tumblr again, and he was wondering how people noticed so much. I mean sure, sometimes things were really obvious, but they even caught things he'd never even think to notice. He couldn’t believe it sometimes, the things they picked up on. They think we're lovers kept under cover. I just ignore it, but they keep saying, we laugh just a little too loud, we stand just a little too close, we stare just a little too long. Maybe they're seeing something we don't, darlin'. They weren’t lovers, were they? Michael tried to ignore everything people said and pointed out, but even to him now, it was becoming hard to pick out when they were joking, or serious. They did have good times together. The Rage Quits he did with Gavin were always the best, for the audience, and for him. Gavin and him were best friend, so it was natural to be close, right? It was nothing but a bromance, right? Sure, sometimes they would stare into each other's eyes a little too long, maybe hoping for something. Maybe looking for something they couldn’t see yet. Let's give them something to talk about. Let's give them something to talk about. Let's give them something to talk about. How about love? I feel so foolish. I've never noticed. You'd act so nervous. Could you be falling for me? Maybe it went too far in that podcast. They just wanted to mess with the fans, but they ended messing up themselves. They liked it too much. Gavin almost leaned in for that kiss, and Michael wished just as much as Gavin did that they weren’t on camera. Michael was still able to touch him, put his arm around him like he had many times before, but he wanted to kiss him now. He needed to kiss him now. Michael noticed when Gavin gripped his knee, and how he had bit his lip. He wasn’t an idiot. He could read body language, but he just never noticed it before. Michael knew he had feelings for Gavin, he was just unsure about Gavin, and maybe he was just fooling himself. It was obvious Gavin had feelings, specially now, but only if his actions had serious real feelings behind them. Though lately, Michael began to doubt that his feelings weren't true with how Gavin was looking at him lately. It seemed like love. It took a rumor to make me wonder. Now I'm convinced that I'm going under. Thinking 'bout you every day. Dream 'bout you every night. I'm hoping that you feel the same way Now that we know it, let's really show it, Darlin'.
Michael had called Gavin over to talk about them, because he couldn’t stand it anymore. It had all sat in his head long enough. He wanted Gavin so badly now, and he hoped he had read everything in the right way. He found some comfort thinking about things he’d seen in the mavin tag. They always pointed out things Gavin did that he never noticed, hell, they sometimes pointed out things Michael never noticed about himself. The feelings were always there and they were becoming too apparent to not be real.
Michael thought about him nonstop and the dreams he’d have about Gavin made him never want to wake up. He just hoped Gavin had the same feelings, and it wasn’t just some figment of everyone’s imagination. The knock on his door was the first step to finding out.
“Hey,” Michael greeted when he opened the door. There the Brit was, with that bright smile of his on his face.
“Hey Michael,” he grinned. “What’d you want me over here for?” he wondered, walking into Michael’s apartment. He’d been there enough to where he could feel right at home and plop himself right down on Michael's couch. “You didn’t really say.”
“Gavin,” Michael stated seriously. He shut the door and turned to see Gavin’s face matched the seriousness of how Michael said his name.
“What is it?” Gavin asked with a frown. “Everything alright?”
“Yeah, just, about the other day…” Michael trailed off.
“Oh.” Gavin’s expression changed from worried to nervous, and it made Michael nervous. He sat next to him on the couch with the biggest flurry of butterflies in his stomach.
“I just have been wondering about…you, and us, specially after that. I know we put on a show for the fans, but…” Michael had to stop. He exhaled shakily and clenched his hands tight. He couldn’t get the words out. He was too scared now.
“Are you wondering if it’s…real? If I have real feelings for you?”
“Yeah,” Michael nodded, his gaze looking away from him briefly.
“What about you?” Gavin questioned. His voice held a hint of desperation and his eyes had such a look of hope. It threw Michael off guard. It made him relax, and think that maybe, he did have it right.
“I…I do,” Michael confessed unevenly. “I do,” he repeated more firmly. “I really do. I wanted to kiss you, so fucking bad. I—“ Gavin cut him off.
“Me too,” Gavin said, “so badly.” Gavin scooted closer to him on the couch, and hesitantly reached out to cup Michael’s cheek. “You too, for real?”
Michael answered by grabbing the front of Gavin’s shirt, closing his eyes, and kissing Gavin, hard. Gavin’s reaction of surprise lasted only a second before he kissed back, melting, and eyes falling shut. Nothing felt so right, and fit more perfectly, than their lips gliding together tenderly and slowly. “Gavin,” Michael breathed against his lips when he pulled back. “I, I um.” “Wow.” It was the only word Gavin could even think to form. Let's give them something to talk about. A little mystery to figure out, babe. Let's give them something to talk about. How about love, love, love? Let's give them something to talk about babe. A little mystery to figure out. Lets give them something to talk about. How about love?
On the next podcast, Michael had his arm around Gavin, and when Gavin wasn’t paying attention, he whispered something into his ear. It was the three words that made Gavin smile brighter than the sun every time. The guys joked about how Michael supposedly whispered about how he'll be fucking Gavin later, but people in the mavin tag were able to read Michael’s lips, and it caused a fan girling storm that Michael couldn’t help but chuckle at. At least the love and things they were pointing out, were now a 100% true, and really actually there. It was love alright. -- I hope this is to your satisfaction anon!
prompts plz
Hello new followers! Wow, there are twenty more of since I last checked goodness. Sorry I was gone for so long! I've been keeping up with the fandom of course though. I'll be writing fanfiction off those recent gifs (you know the ones) and some others based on recent events, but I would also love some prompts to write since I'm all freed up again! I'll fulfill them to the best of my ability. c:
Hanging On
Gavin never questioned it until after though. After all was physically expressed and done, he thought about it, what it all meant, what he meant to Michael.
It was another one of those times. It was the after to an effect that was beginning to pile up on Gavin.
Michael was laying next to Gavin, where they both were still trying to catch their breath. This time was particularly long. Gavin knew he’d have marks, but he wasn’t focused on that quite yet. He always analyzed each time after he got his head clear enough. How much they kissed, the things Michael said, how he said them, and when.
He was beginning to hate how much he turned this affair into an headache, but either way, it was going to be one. He just wanted to know what it all meant, but he was scared to ask. He was afraid if he questioned it, Michael would stop, and at this point, Gavin couldn’t go without him. He couldn’t go without this now, even if the after was always a little painful.
“I’ve gotta go now Gavin,” Michael sighed sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed.
“Alright Michael…” Gavin replied softly. Gavin’s eyes scanned the red streaks he left on Michael’s back up and down, wondering if they’d be questioned. He reached out and grazed his fingertips over the fresh marks delicately with a sigh. Michael’s back twitched slightly at the contact, but Gavin’s hand jumped away when Michael turned around. Michael grabbed Gavin’s hand and gave brief kiss to his palm, then stood up to get dressed.
Gavin sat up and began to assess the visible damage. He had two hickey’s to the left of his collarbone and three smaller ones on the right. Michael and himself got better at not leaving hickey’s on each others neck, but it still happened at times. Michael was usually the one who slipped up with that the most, and Gavin had a hope that it was because he wanted to mark him as his.
Michael got himself dressed, and Gavin decided he’d at least get his boxers back on so he could walk him to the door. Michael usually kissed him goodbye.
Gavin winced and suppressed a pained groan when he stood up, then snatched his boxers off the floor. He quickly slipped them on and followed Michael to the door.
“I’ll see you later,” Michael said. He gave Gavin a smile that was warm, and a little a guilty. He knew what he was doing, but he couldn’t stop either.
“Okay,” Gavin said with a nod. Gavin wasn’t aware of how wanting his eyes looked, but Michael was. He knew what he wanted, and he’d never deny something Gavin wanted, at least, not something like a goodbye kiss. Michael placed a hand on Gavin’s neck and pulled him into a parting kiss that left Gavin breathless. He didn’t expect it. “Michael,” Gavin breathed softly when Michael pulled away.
“Bye Gavin.” Michael gave him another brief smile and turned to the door, but stopped with his hand on the knob when Gavin clutched at the back of his shirt.
“Michael I,” he strained. His words died in his throat, but he quickly swallowed the lump in his throat, and blurted, “I love you.”
That was the first time it was ever said. It was no confession at this point. Michael knew of his feelings, but Gavin was unsure about Michael’s.
Michael knew how he felt. He had accepted it a long time ago, but when he opened his mouth to return those words, he couldn’t. Nothing came out.
“Bye, Gavin.” Michael quickly left, and tried to ignore the ache he felt when he heard Gavin’s heartbroken reaction before he closed the door behind him. It was a shuddered exhale that ended with a broken whimper.
“I can’t keep doing this,” Gavin murmured shakily to himself. He was truly heartbroken right now. It was a pain that radiated from his heart to the rest of his body and was nearly maddening, but still, he had that need for Michael. Gavin finally said those feelings outloud, and it made them feel more confirmed, even to himself.
He loved Michael, but how long would that love overshadow this pain?
I just started this thing and I’ve already come off as a pretty shitty poster I’m really sorry but it’s like as soon as I was ready to write and post writing things started getting complicated in my life. I’ve been caught up in a lot things and I’m sure it doesn’t matter or not if I post since I’ve only posted two things but I do want to post more. I will, but when will probably be random with no set date or time since I’m obviously not good at doing things when I say. Either way uh, I gained more followers. I love all of you and I promise this will be an active fanfic blog. I will be posting things, but the when is when I’m unsure of. I hope you all stick around and will enjoy the fics to come! I’ll try to get on the chapters on the Our Life fic, but before then there will be fics posted. I have the other fic I wrote before Figure 8 which is in Michael’s POV, a fic where Gavin is in the military, and a few other short one chapter fics. Again I’m so sorry. ;_;
c:
Ok so I made the blog look nice finally, and I started up a fic tag so you guys can access just fics without any asks or other non-fics posts in between. I'll get to prompts once I get back, but please send me as many as you want because I've wanted more to write.
Breathless
You leave me breathless. When you close the door it feels just like you took the air out of the room with you.