a safe place

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Anyone still follow this thing

[kikithegirl]

ATTENTION ALL OF TUMBLR!

THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE.

IN 2014, IN SCHAUMBURG , ILLINOIS, USA

THERE

WILL

BE

A

TUMBLR CONVENTION!!!

THESE ARE THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT ARE MAKING IT HAPPEN

SIGNAL BOOST THIS GUYS

I WANNA SEE EVERYONE THERE!!

[nudne]

this post eminates incredibly demonic energy

[kirbymongerr]

This is like finding a stray journal page in a ruined city that talks of some grand festival and the date of the entry is the day before the city was destroyed

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TFW u viciously hate every single part of yourself and the things that suck about you so much that you feel sick abt it

Like, literally sorry to you all for being the most obnoxious needy selfish motherfucker in the world

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I was way less depressed this week than I was the past few weeks so that’s great and woo May, but I’m also having helllllla bad body/ed feels whoops

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I went to yoga which I had been neglecting for several weeks and that ALWAYS helps w this, and now I'm getting an acai bowl because I 👏 LOVE 👏 MYSELF 👏

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I was way less depressed this week than I was the past few weeks so that's great and woo May, but I'm also having helllllla bad body/ed feels whoops

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I fucking forget how to make a read more im like the closest to SI I’ve been in a very long time and I don’t even know why just everything feels bad and I want to hurt myself

[rootsholdmeclose]

I want to die, just temporarily tho

[rootsholdmeclose]

my rejection sensitivity is really fucking me right now, I've got that constant heartache, constant dreams about her, logically I know that I haven't lost her and I'm SURE with time things will get better but it's basically impossible to convince my heart of that. so in the meantime I'm just an open wound again

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well, I had a super cathartic dream conversation w (her) so hopefully that tides me over a bit

[rootsholdmeclose]

everything is Changing again and I am so sad and afraid

there’s just so much going on

I’m both looking forward to and dreading graduation 

my favorite kid is getting sent away and getting all his support yanked out from under him bc they don’t know how to handle his suicidality and im so worried

there’s a fucking BABY and my best friend is a parent and it’s so WEIRD and such a huge shift and i dont know how to support her like at all

i feel like ive gained so much weight esp in my face and ive been binge eating a lot from stress and ive got constant intrusive thoughts about that too

i’m just so busy and even when i have times to rest i dont know what to do with myself because it’s all just so much and my brain can’t shut up

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someone I stopped being friends w 10 years ago for Reasons just messaged me on facebook being like hey wassup and im like......no we good

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I'm really h/gh and dysphoric and my executive processing is just. GONE

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got really stoned and had sex for an hour and a half. hot damn, lads

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i’m having a slightly hard time w/ how my diet’s been lately (lots of dining out w/ the foster kids and some stress snacking/eating) and the lack of exercise due to the rain (I shouldn’t say that because I’ve still been consciously getting in as much walking as possible per day but it doesn’t feel like enough, and I also havent been to yoga in at least a month) and feeling like my face is rounder than i want it to be and stuff. i had a bagel w cream cheese for breakfast at the coffee shop today and I’m feeling bad about that because even though i’ve gotten so much better I still have a lot of food rules that are hard to forget. and I’m mostly loving on my body/feeling good about it but there’s a constant nagging worry that i’m probably gaining weight (i honestly have no idea anymore, my body image/understanding of what putting on/losing weight looks like is so fucking warped at this point i don’t even try to guess) even though i shouldn’t care and that shouldn’t matter.

but i give myself permission to eat what i want and take care of myself especially during this stressful time when eating good food is comforting!! and all in all i still have a very healthy diet so i should be kinder. it’s just less restrictive lately calorie-wise and whatever than i want it to be but that’s ok.

i do need to get back to yoga tho that really curbs these thoughts a lot. and i want to put back on some muscle!!!!!

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so that's where me at

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I had such a nice Romo and intimate extremely gay time wth Gracie today in which we talked a shitload about our feelings and cried and laughed and kept interrupting making out with each other to talk more and cuddle lol I love my friends!!!!!