hi friends! i thought i would address my absence and how long i will be gone.
IM STILL HERE!! iโm still reading your stories and iโm trying to reblog and like. I DONโT KNOW HOW LONG IโLL BE AWAY. iโm trying to focus more on school since itโs my last year of high school. iโm still writing out ideas to bring you all when i get a break!
THANK YOU!! thank you for still reading my stories and reblogging, liking, all of that! it makes my heart so happy that you like all of them.
i wish you all well, and a beautiful day/night! i will be back as soon as i can <3
honestly? exhausted :( school is really taking a toll on me and itโs my last year of high school so i wanna nail it. i miss writing, and my heart is heavy when looking at the great requests in my inbox. i canโt wait for a break so i can get back to writing. thank you for asking ๐ฅบ
I recommend a good nap when you can, really helps you feel more regular with the new schedule and helps brain activity. Also yoga, even if itโs just deep breathing. You got this dude!๐๐ป
this was very sweet of you!! i take naps when i finish my homework because iโm so exhausted from waking up early, and i am gonna start doing yoga because my lower back HURTS from all the sitting lol. thank you!! ๐
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL TODAY!! but iโm also gonna start an outline to all those fic requests i got, be patient my loves ๐ค๐ค hope youโre all having a wonderful day
I couldnโt agree more with this. As someone who has been married for 7 years (together for 9), kissing hardly proves anything of love, at least on its own. The starry-eyed lover type of intimacy is cute, but using it exclusively is like eating fondant off a cake. Itโs sweet, looks polished and pretty, but lacks robust the flavour of combined elements โ fillings, frosting, toppings, and the cake itself.
Itโs gestures often overlooked, silent acts of respect without calling attention to them. Subtleties mixed with the obvious.
grooming, restraighten clothing, touch up hair, brush off crumbs
singing and dancing together
understanding your partnerโs hurt rather than just apologising
trust and respect
knowing how to cheer the other up, how to piss them off, humour them
reassurance (e.g. Iโm here to talk, youโre doing a great job, your insecurities donโt define you)
associating sights, smells, touches, songs, phrasing, etc with them (e.g. โI saw a pigeon today and thought โis this my partner?โโ
hating dumb things they do, but finding them hard to live without and secretly loving them
compromising, sacrificing, reciprocation
Love is unspoken, tolerant, and a spectrum of emotions.
Itโs accepting that youโll fuckinโ hate their entire being at times, exclaim with vitriol, โgod, youโre so fucking annoyingโ while you smile and know that itโs trivial in the grand scheme.
Itโs real. Itโs healthy. Itโs fun. Thatโs what I try to encapsulate in my sappy romantic fiction because realistic fluff is so much more gratifying.
Listen, Fury, this all seems like big-time, you know, huge, superhero kind of stuff.ย And, I mean Iโm just your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, sir.
Iโm in an angsty mood lol so could you please write a Peter Parker imagine where the reader finds Peter kissing MJ even though he kissed her the day before and she makes him choose between herself and MJ. He chooses MJ but realizes a few weeks later after the Far From Home trip that he likes the reader.
hi there!! iโm sorry for the wait, i hope youโre still in the mood for angst lol.
may i present to you: Heartbreaks in Decision Making
request: โIโm in an angsty mood lol so could you please write a Peter Parker imagine where the reader finds Peter kissing MJ even though he kissed her the day before and she makes him choose between herself and MJ. He chooses MJ but realizes a few weeks later after the Far From Home trip that he likes the reader.โ
A/N: iโm sorry this took so long, but i hope it meets your expectations!! i added supporting characters of my own as well. thank you for such a juicy request!! NOT PROOF READ YET.
word count: 2342
WARNINGS: angst. cursing, and heartbreaking in my opinion.
You didnโt understand.
You definitely werenโt the โgo-getterโ type, nor were you the kind of girl who just says whatโs on their mind or heart. When the cook at a restaurant got your order wrong, you would smile and say โthank youโ instead of letting them know. Youโre the kind of person that would stick around with whoever you were with until they were ready to go instead of finding a comfortable place to be by yourself. So when you had feelings for a boy, a boy like Peter Parker, it would be almost instinctive to either deny or hide those feelings as best as you could.
But you didnโt do either.
Instead, when the class got back to the hotel in Prague, you marched up to his hotel room with your hand curled into a fist, ready to confess your feelings for him when his door was yanked open. He was staring at you in shock while you gaped at him before nervously smiling and asking to talk. When his eyes moved away from yours and onto something ahead, you didnโt think much of it โ but god, you wished you did.
You managed to do the hard part, and confessed how you felt to Peter. Granted, the message was relayed in a mixture of needless, nervous rambles. Your cheeks were red and you felt like your body was lit on fire under his eyes. Your heart was racing, but it practically stopped when he stepped forward, face inching towards yours and eyes closing shut. You stood frozen in place, letting his lips close to space between yours.
You let him kiss you.
But what you didnโt understand was how Peter could do something like that after what you had confessed to him, yet have his arms wrapped around another girl while their lips molded together. His eyes were shut and his pleasure filled face held a red tint. However, you knew Peter, and you knew he had a sixth sense, so you watched as his eyes sprung open during the kiss and began to swell with fear.
That was when your vision was blurred with tears.
He didnโt pull away from the girl, rather letting the kiss carry on with his eyes trained on you until she decided to pull away. She did eventually, and you could faintly hear the shy laughs they shared from where you were. You watched a few words be exhchanged and you wanted the floor to swallow you whole every time his eyes flickered to yours. Then, like anybody would, she turned around.
And when MJ sent you a tight lipped smile, it made sense. As much as it pained your heart to admit, you finally understood. The night before, you were looking for Peter, and he was looking for her.
Tears rolled down your cheeks as you scoffed, your arms wrapping around your body to act as a shield when MJ walked towards the entrance doors of the hotel, and Peter approached you hesitantly. The lights from inside the hotel was enough to see his tear-pricked eyes and guilty face when he was close enough in front of you. There was an aching silence between the two of you, but you didnโt dare to break it. You couldnโt bring yourself too.
โIโm sorry.โ Peter whispered, his voice cracking as he tried to swallow down the rising bile in his throat. You brought your arms closer to your chest, chewing on the inside of your cheeks to try and prevent the new wave of tears threatening to spill. You didnโt meet his burning gaze, strictly staring past him. You couldnโt meet his eyes, hearing his voice told you enough. He was guilty, but wasnโt apologizing for what he did โ he was apologizing for being caught.
It was silent again, and just as painful as the last time. You were racking your brain for something to say, questions popping up one after the other and it made your head throb, so you settled on the simplest one yet, asking, โWhy?โ
If it were any louder, you were certain Peter wouldnโt have been able to hear you. There was about six feet of space between the two of you, a brutal opposite to the night before โ the memory made your stomach churn. With furrowed brows, Peterโs lips parted to speak, but after a few split moments, his mouth shut.
โI donโt know.โ
Hearing his words made your head snap in his direction, a bewildered yet angry look in your eyes as you gaped at him. โYou donโt know?โ You repeated, taking a bold step forward with a clenched jaw. โYou let me fall for a lie, Peter. Had I not been outside of this damn hotel, you wouldnโt have stop kissing MJ.โ You spat through gritted teeth, feeling yourself grow hot at the fact that he was acting this way. Acting so remorseful for something he wanted to do.
You watched as Peterโs hand repeatedly clenched at his side, and he looked away from you. From this angle you could see a single tear fall from the corner of his glazed eyes. He was holding back, but you didnโt want him to. You wanted to truth.
โY/N, you know Iโve liked MJ for a while now.โ He muttered, actively avoiding your pained expression and flinching at the sound of your dry laugh. You knew this, you knew that Peter has had this crush on MJ since your sophomore year โ so about a little over a year. Knowing this made telling Peter how you felt all the more nerve-racking, but it didnโt matter, he made the confusing choice of kissing you, and in turn complicated everything.
โThen why did you kiss me?!โ You shouted, the sound of your voice echoing into the dark night. It was poetic, really. Getting your heart broken by the boy you love on a beautiful bridge at midnight in Europe. โIt doesnโt matter!โ Peter was now facing you, his heaving chest pairing with his bloodshot eyes that locks with your own. โThis isnโt a game of bachelor, Peter.โ You sniffled, casting your gaze away from him to get a chance to breathe because every time you looked at him, your throat closed up.
โSo,โ Peter cleared his throat, but the lump remained, making his voice strain. โSo what are you saying?โ
What were you saying? You didnโt exactly know. What you did know, however, was that as strong as you felt for Peter, you were not going to let yourself be treated second. Your bottom lip trembled as you released a shaking breath, locking with his.
โIโm saying you have to choose.โ
As his eyes bored into yours, as the tension grew painfully thick in the silence, you knew. Just by the look in his eyes. The look in his brown orbs wasnโt one of someone who didnโt want to choose, it was the look of someone who didnโt want to tell you they werenโt choosing you.
And you knew.
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ * * *
โIโm just saying!โ Your friend, Lina, held her hands up in defense while you looked at her incredously. โHe was too much of a nice guy! Guys like him always have something wrong with them.โ
Itโs been a few weeks since the incident with Peter that went down during your class trip to Europe, and by now, you have told your two closest friends, Lina and Meredith, who were absolutely livid upon hearing the news when you came back to the states in shambles. Meredith stared at the blue haired girl with a slacked jaw, her hand reaching over to flick her in the forehead. โGod, Lina, you canโt just say shit like that! Y/N has been in love with him for like, ever.โ
โYou guys!โ You sighed, crossing your arms over the cafeteria table and shaking your head at the both of them. โIโm right here, you know. You guys have been talking about what happened for the past fifteen minutes.โ
The girls stared at you solemnly, casting their gazes down when the guilt began to eat at them. โWeโre sorry, Y/N, itโs just- I canโt believe he would do that to you, his best friend of all people, and not have a care in the world flaunting his relationship with MJ like he didnโt hurt you to get it.โ Lina said gently, placing her hand on top of yours and squeezing it.
She was right, both of them were. However, as hurtful as it was, you didnโt want to dwell on it forever. Sure, he made you believe in something false, but youโd rather say it couldโve been worse.
โListen, Iโm fine!โ You laughed lightly, sending both girls a tight lipped smile which they weakly returned. โWhatโs done is done, and if heโs happy with MJ and how things turned out then.. then so be it.โ You finally said, brushing off the fact that your words were beginning to sound like they were moreso said for you then for them. As you waited for a response from one of the two, your brows scrunched together when watching Meredithโs gaze drift and her elbow jutting into Linaโs side to bring it to her attention. โMer, whatโre you looking a..โ Your voice trailed off as you turned around in your seat, eyes widening at the sight before you.
Peter.
โCan- Can I talk to you?โ His voice stuttered with hesitance, averting his eyes away from the two girls behind you that were staring at him with vicious glares and kept them on you. โPlease?โ
A small huff came from your nose, and you turned around to send a simple nod to Lina and Meredith before getting up to follow behind Peter.
He ended up leading you into an empty science room, deserted lab tables with the lights turned off to leave the skylight from the windows to do itโs job. With crossed arms, you watched as Peter grew anxious. Even with his back to you, you knew that he was most likely fidgeting with his fingers while he was bouncing on his foot.
โI lied.โ said Peter suddenly.
He turned around to face you, and you could now see his hands quickly wringing together. You stared at him blankly, cocking your eyebrow up at him to silently tell him to carry on.
โI do know why I kissed you that night in Prague.โ He admitted, watching carefully as your eyes slightly widened at the confession. Too many questions whizzed around in your head in that moment, it was beginning to overwhelm you. โIt wasnโt because I was trying to spare your feelings, or to make you feel good. It was because I like you- no, no, I love you.โ Peterโs eyes never strayed from yours as he spoke clearly, and for the first time talking to him since that night, he didnโt stutter. He meant it.
The thought alone made tears prick your eyes.
โWhy are you telling me this, Peter?โ You croaked, your tearful eyes searching his wide ones frantically. He was with MJ, you thought. He chose her, heโs happy with her โ so why was he telling you all of this now?
Peter pursed his lips, letting his gaze fall to the floor as if there was something of interest there. โBecause I-โ He sighed, his shoulders tense with nerves before he boldly caught your stare, saying, โI made a mistake.โ
A mistake. The words nearly made you laugh.
โA mistake?โ You repeated, lips parted to just let it all out before you stopped. Instead, a scoff emitted from your throat, pairing with your shaking head. โThere was no mistake in what you did, Peter. You chose her and-โ
โAnd it shouldโve been you.โ He interrupted, daringly taking a small step forward that you allowed, only because you were too in shock at what he said. You stood there, frozen with a slacked jaw and bulging eyes. His words shouldโve have, but they managed to pull at numerous heart strings and make your stomach churn. โIt shouldโve been you because itโs always been you, Y/N. I made a mistake because, I-I donโt know maybe I didnโt want to accept the truth, or maybe I didnโt want it to ruin anything. But Iโm here now because I love you.โ
Hearing his words shouldโve made your heart flutter. You shouldโve let a smile so wide it made you squint, take over your face. You shouldโve jumped into his arms and kissed him โtil the end of time because he does feel the same way.
But you didnโt.
Instead, you let the tears roll down your face. You looked away from him, and let your arms fall at your sides. โNo.โ You shook your head, looking up to see confusion swirl about it Peterโs brown eyes. โIf you loved me, you wouldnโt have to be with another girl to realize it. If you loved me, you wouldnโt have told me, to my face, that youโre reasoning for kissing MJ was because youโve liked her for a long time.โ
You shook your head at him in disbelief, slowly backing up towards the door of the science room and placing a steady hand on the handle. Your fingers brushed at your cheeks to rid them of the tears that fell, and you sniffled, straightening out your composure.
โYou may have made a mistake, Peter, but I will not let you hurt two girls in the process of making yourself happy.โ
With that, you turned away from him, walking through the door and back to your friends who stared at you expectantly.
Peter stayed there. He stood in the front of the science lab with a dazed look in his glazed eyes, jaw clenched shut. Then, he let the tears fall. The tears he held in until you left, he let them glide down the sides of his face while putting his head in his hands.
He made a mistake, and he was going to have to live with that forever.
summery: she had known him for so long, wasnโt it meant to be obvious that every night he snuck out of his bedroom to save the world?ย
pairing: Taylor Hayes x Peter Parker
words: 1.7k
warnings: heartbreak, angst
masterlist
They were friends before Tony Stark laid down his life for the greater good of humanity, before elementals shattered a city, and long before Peter Parker ever identified as Spiderman. When they were just kids in a concrete city she would climb into his room, curious eyes wide and ready for an adventure. When they were teenagers, it was no surprise to anybody that beneath the big appleโs influence they fell in love. It was young and it was cherished, until it wasnโt.ย
I actually went eek out loud, thanks Destiny ๐โค๏ธ @wxstedhexrt Youโre such a sweetheart ilysm
I tag all of these people who are actively stealing my heart:
@theamuz (sorry sis youโre probably gonna be tagged in like everything ๐) @bubbabarnes (v likely youโre in all my tags too) @aiofheavenandhell and @tinymalscoffee who are actively enjoying my puddle of ovaries lying at the feet of their thrones @lets-plow-after-algebra @tuiccim @babyyhoneyydarling @buckybarney @chrisevansbaby @iguessweallcrazyithinktho
tHANK YOU @adorkably I LOVE U ANGEL iโll always enjoy ur puddle of ovaries below my large throne of darkness ehehe๐ฅฐ๐ฅฐ
@extremelyblackandwhite @aresteon @honkystan @marvelgirl7 @romantic-barnes @themainleipotterhands @sweet-barnes @im-happy-with-shit @probablynotalex @asonofpeter and @vibraniumdaisies all of you guys inspire me so much and i couldnโt be more thankful to have met yโall on this crackass site๐โค๏ธ๐
awww thank you so so much!!! i wanna tag @hardlyinterestingโ @sarge-barnes-sirโ @nsfwsebbieโโ @lookiamtryingโ @anxiousdreamersworldโ @philogrobizedveeโ @lilya-petrichorโ @neon-deanmonโ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelaterโ @sideeffectsofyouโ youโre all have amazing blogs (i stalk them at least once a day) and deserve all the love !!!
awww thatโs sooo sweet, thank you soo much you literally made me so happy!
tag @the-haven-of-fiction @writeyourmindaway @blacksuitofdoom @jbarness @gingerwritess @steves-on-a-plane @worstloki @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @wester-than-west @lokihiddleston @ladyfluff @tears-over-queerbaiting @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes I tagged these wonderful people, your blogs are awesome and I love them so much!
thank you for tagging me, this makes me so happy โคโคโค
@anxiousdreamersworld @world-of-aus @propertyofpoeandbucky @buckybarnesthehotshot @seasaurusrrex @moonbeambucky @justreadingfics @simsadventures @all1e23 @itsanerdlife @hopesbarnes @buckysmischief @talesofsadhuman @tropicalcap you guys are amazing and very talented, i adore you all โค๐
Thank youuu!!! ๐๐๐ @world-of-aus Im so happy!! ๐คง๐คง
@fandomsandxfiles @angelinathebook @kitkatd7 @kpopgirlbtssvt @kittykatlow @saintsebastian-stan @saiyanprincessswanie @angstysebfan @buckybarnesplumwhore ack! Thereโs so many more but I canโt think of them rn!
Thanks to my lovelies @buckys-other-punk and @cap-n-stuff โคโค
@starspangledseb @rhemasky @myraiswack @fablesrose @saiyanprincessswanie @queenofchaos7 @fandomsandxfiles @tomhiddleston-is-mischief @angelinathebook @remibarnes22 i love yall you make me so happyโคโคโคโค
Only 10?! Ok, first thanks for the tag @kitkatd7, @sigyn-njorddottir and @fablesrose I love you, you deserve the world๐ฅฐ๐๐
@guysiswearimnotbasic @mojofun @dearspacepirates @mrsbellablythe (Iโd tag @loki-ismyaesthetic but she isnโt on tumblr these days) @angelinathebook @ollie-life @chiaramrvl @zakizendetandi @3dg310rdsupreme @teenagereadersciencenerd and many others, this sucks, I love yall.
