𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘹𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳

21. film major. class of 21. #LEXSQUAD since aug19.

[rosecoloredbcy]

cruztms·

              all cruz can do is remind himself to stay calm ––– his best friend is hurting , and he can only imagine how it would feel to be in his shoes. “ i’m still sorry. i know that it hurts you and i just wish i knew the kiss was going to hurt you i ––– ” he was just having fun , living in the moment as cruz did best. it felt right , it felt like something he wanted to do , so he went for it. little did he know an impulsive decision nearly cost him his best friend. “ you are important to me. i don’t think i can explain how important you are to me. how important our friendship is but i ––– ” he sighs , head shaking. “ i don’t want to mess that up. i can’t risk messing that up and i shouldn’t have kissed you because that was a risk and i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have just assumed that it would be casual to you too. i just thought ––– ” he pauses. “ that you knew how i am so you wouldn’t think it was serious. i don’t know. i shouldn’t have assumed anything. i shouldn’t have ––– ” he sighs , cutting himself off. he already said it , and he doesn’t want to fight , so he hopes that avery doesn’t take any of this the wrong way. he’s just trying to be honest. “ are we going to be okay , ave ? that’s all i want. ”

although he’s listening, his gaze is stuck on his hands as cruz explains himself. avery wished that he could invent a time machine and go back a few days and stop this bullshit from ever happening. it all went sour because he caught feelings for his best friend, which (and no offense, cruz) is definitely not the kind of guy who wants to be tied down to anyone. maybe it was kind of a good thing that this all happened so that they could move past it and they could go back to being best friend––ones who do not kiss each other. as cruz finishes explaining himself, avery attempts to process everything he’s just said. sure, what cruz had said wasn’t something he wanted to hear but it was necessary. avery looked up from his hands and smiled his dumb, awkward smile. “yes,” he nods and then, because he can’t hold it in any longer, he jumps up from his chair to hug his best friend. “i’m really, really sorry. i love you no matter what.” and then, with a laugh, “just don’t kiss me again, yeah?”

[pir-ado]

Ask me! I'll answer honestly!

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? 2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? 4: What was your favorite video game growing up? 5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? 7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? 8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] 9: Are you ticklish? 10: Are you allergic to anything? 11: What’s your sexuality? 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? 13: Are you a cat or dog person? 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? 15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? 16: How tall are you? 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? 18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? 20: Do you like space or the ocean more? 21: Are you religious? 22: Pet peeves? 23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? 24: Favorite constellation? 25: Favorite star? 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? 27: Any phobias or fears? 28: Do you think global warming is real? 29: Do you believe in reincarnation? 30: Favorite movie? 31: Do you get scared easily? 32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? 33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 34: What is a color that calms you? 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? 36: Where were you born? 37: What is your eye color? 38: Introvert or extrovert? 39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? 40: Hugs or kisses? 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? 42: Who is someone you love deeply? 43: Any piercings you want? 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? 45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! 47: What is a sound you really hate? 48: A sound you really love? 49: Can you do a backflip? 50: Can you do the splits? 51: Favorite actor and/or actress? 52: Favorite movie? 53: How are you feeling right now? 54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? 55: When did you feel happiest? 56: Something that calms you down? 57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] 58: What does your URL mean? 59: What three words describe you the most? 60: Do you believe in evolution? 61: What makes you unfollow a blog? 62: What makes you follow a blog? 63: Favorite kind of person: 64: Favorite animal(s): 65: Name three of your favorite blogs. 66: Favorite emoticon: 67: Favorite meme: 68: What is your MBTI personality type? 69: What is your star sign? 70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? 72: Post a selfie or two? 73: Do you have platform shoes? 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? 75: Can you do a front flip? 76: Do you like birds? 77: Do you like to swim? 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? 79: Something you wish didn’t exist: 80: Some thing you wish did exist: 81: Piercings you have? 82: Something you really enjoy doing: 83: Favorite person to talk to: 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? 85: How many followers do you have? 86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? 87: Do your socks always match? 88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? 89: What are your birthstones? 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? 91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? 92: A store you hate? 93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? 95: Do you like to wear camo? 96: Winter or summer? 97: How long can you hold your breath for? 98: Least favorite person? 99: Someone you look up to: 100: A store you love? 101: Favorite type of shoes 102: Where do you live? 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? 105: Do you drink milk? 106: Do you like bugs? 107: Do you like spiders? 108: Something you get paranoid about? 109: Can you draw: 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? 111: A question you hate being asked? 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: 116: Favorite cloud type: 117: What color do you wish the sky was? 118: Do you have freckles? 119: Favorite thing about a person: 120: Fruits or vegetables? 121: Something you want to do right now: 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? 123: Sweet or sour foods? 124: Bright or dim lights? 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? 126: Something you hate about Tumblr: 127: Something you love about Tumblr: 128: What do you think about the least? 129: What would you want written on your tombstone? 130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? 133: Computer or TV? 134: Do you like roller coasters? 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? 136: Are your ears lobed or attached? 137: Do you believe in karma? 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? 141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? 144: What makes you angry 145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? 147: Are you androgynous? 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: 149: Favorite thing about your personality: 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. 151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? 152: Do you like BuzzFeed? 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] 154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? 156: What embarrasses you? 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: 158: Biggest lie you have ever told: 159: How many people are you following? 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 163: Last time you cried and why: 164: Do you have long or short hair? 165: Longest your hair has ever been: 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? 168: Do you like to wear makeup? 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

[tr33-g1rl]

weird asks that say a lot

in

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer?

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

12. name of your favorite playlist?

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

18. ideal weather?

19. sleeping position?

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood?

22. role model?

23. strange habits?

24. favorite crystal?

25. first song you remember hearing?

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

28. five songs to describe you?

29. best way to bond with you?

30. places that you find sacred?

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

32. top five favorite vines?

33. most used phrase in your phone?

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

35. average time you fall asleep?

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

41. last person you texted?

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

47. favorite type of cheese?

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

51. current stresses?

52. favorite font?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

55. favorite fairy tale?

56. favorite tradition?

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

62. seven characters you relate to?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

64. favorite website from your childhood?

65. any permanent scars?

66. favorite flower(s)?

67. good luck charms?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

70. left or right handed?

71. least favorite pattern?

72. worst subject?

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear?

88. your greatest wish?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

90. luckiest mistake?

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames?

94. favorite season?

95. favorite app on your phone?

96. desktop background?

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

98. favorite historical era?

[cobwebkitten-deactivated2020101]

send me a fruit

[cruztms]

peach: do you have any piercings or tattoos?

raspberry: favorite flower?

lemon: do you have any pets? what are their names?

mango: what is your trademark?

passion fruit: how would you describe your style?

pineapple: sexual orientation?

strawberry: favorite desserts?

cherry: can you play any musical instruments or can you sing?

grape: if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?

banana: favorite horror movies?

blackberry: is your life an action film, a comedy, a romantic comedy, or drama?

pomegranate: when do you feel the most confident?

cantaloupe: what are your parents’ names?

guava: dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup?

tangelo: if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be?

plum: favorite clothing brands?

coconut: favorite perfume?

lychee: satin or lace?

blueberry: what do you want to dress up as for halloween?

apple: what do you use more, tumblr or twitter?

kiwi: what’s something that fascinates you?

watermelon: do you have a job? if so, what is your job title?

papaya: what song describes your aesthetic?

cranberry: favorite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk, or night?

nectarine: would you consider yourself an emotional person?

orange: do you have long eyelashes?

apricot: what do you do when you’re sad?

star fruit: favorite sea creature?

dragonfruit: do you drink alcohol?

[rosecoloredbcy]

by now, avery was well aware of what he had done and the implications of his actions. maybe he couldn’t fix it but he’d at least try. he was thankful that maya was willing to meet with him but that didn’t make him any less nervous. he was sure she already knew what happened between him and cruz but he thought it would be best to hear it from him. not to mention he was a total dick to her in the groupchat. avery was sitting at a table just inside of smithie’s as he waited for maya. once he saw her come through the door, he gave her a small and awkward wave. “hey, how are you?” / @mayavoss​

[rosecoloredbcy]

cruztms·

                   if he was being honest , cruz didn’t know how he was feeling. he loved avery. he was his best friend , and he couldn’t think of ever ruining the friendship that they had. that said , he officially regretted kissing him –– only because he never meant to hurt his friend and it led to all of this. regardless of everything , though , cruz wasn’t mad at avery for the way he lashed out. and how could he be mad at avery for liking him ? that wasn’t either of their fault. just on time , here comes cruz walking up to smithies. he’s nervous , he admits. he doesn’t know how this conversation is going to go , but all he knows is that he’s trying to keep himself calm. “ hey , ave. i’m … ” he wants to hug avery , but he’s not sure what he’s allowed to do right now , so he doesn’t. “ i’m really sorry about everything , buddy. i never meant … to hurt you. ”

without realizing it, avery’s wringing his hands together anxiously. he honestly had no idea how this conversation was going to go. if it resulted in him losing cruz, he’d probably hate himself forever. he almost wished he’d never said anything about how he really felt, it had only managed to complicate things even more. avery avoided making eye contact with cruz because he wasn’t sure how he would react and the last thing he wanted to do was fucking cry in front of him. he’d already let his guard down enough. “it’s not your fault, cruz. i was overreacting to something that should have meant nothing..” he sighs, licking his lips as he tries to regain his train of thought. “well, i guess i didn’t realize that it didn’t mean as much to you as it did to me. and when i realized that, i just got really upset and i lashed out and that was shitty of me. i just, wanted to be important to you––not that i think i’m not, because you’re my best friend––in a different way. and, yeah, i fucked up.”

[rosecoloredbcy]

sms → honey

honey: sure , babe. i'll see you in a hour.

honey: fuck ??

avery: im just scared ok

avery: i'll see u then

[rosecoloredbcy]

sms → maya

maya: i don't hate you at all, avery

maya: we can talk

avery: well you might

avery: tonight?

[rosecoloredbcy]

sms → honey

honey: it's okay , ave.

honey: but yeah we can meet up somewhere.

honey: mmm , he has.

avery: smithies? in like an hour?

avery: haha fuck

avery: im glad it was him that told you though

[rosecoloredbcy]

sms → honey

honey: sure , of course.

honey: everything okay ??

avery: no, i was a dick to you and i want to apologize

avery: and explain everythimng

avery: i dont know if cruz has told you anything but yeah

[rosecoloredbcy]

sms → maya

maya: okay, that's fine

maya: why, what's up?

avery: me being a dick to you

avery: i wanna explain everything, if thats ok

avery: i dont know maybe you'll hate me more but i gotta do something

[rosecoloredbcy]

sms → maya

avery (04/15/20): hey

avery: would you be open to meeting to talk?

avery: if nots, its ok

[rosecoloredbcy]

sms → honey

avery (04/15/20): hey

avery: can we please meet to talk?

[rosecoloredbcy]

it was safe to say that avery felt like a fucking idiot, for more reasons than just one. he had severely overreacted to yesterday’s events and he was embarrassed. although he wouldn’t admit it aloud, avery had laid in bed practically all day and cried. yeah, pathetic, he knows. he hadn’t fucked things up this badly since... well, he couldn’t even recall a time he’d fucked shit up this badly. avery was thankful that cruz agreed to meet with him. he hoped that he could salvage their friendship. cruz meant so much to him and he didn’t want to lose him over something so futile. avery sat at a table outside of smithie’s, his hands shaking and it wasn’t because of the coffee. he saw cruz approach him and he gave an awkward wave. “hey,” he said but didn’t want to get up to hug him in case that was a step too far. / @cruztms​

[rosecoloredbcy]

𝖘𝖒𝖘 * / 𝖔𝖚𝖙𝖌𝖔𝖎𝖓𝖌. ––– ave.

cruz: thats the thing that's bothering me like i... am sorry that i kissed you but it was just something i wanted to do and literally had no clue you had a single romantic feeling for me? like sue me for thinking we were just high and fucking around? because we? WERE?!

cruz: like if i knew , i wouldn't have fucked with your feelings, avery. you're acting like i did this on purpose.

cruz: sorry i'm ??? distracting myself by spending time with my friends?? you want me to be moping at home because you're mad at me for kissing you? for not wanting to be with you? what the fuck, dude?

cruz: i honestly have enough on my fucking plate. you wanna be mad at me? fine. be mad. but i have a lot going on in my head and i can't even begin to fucking wrap my head around this. lets try this again later because i'm not in the fucking mood to justify myself.

cruz: and for the record , i've done nothing but fucking care about you since we met. fuck off.

avery: READ AT 6:09PM

[rosecoloredbcy]

@AVERYCOOLGUY (via twitter): cool cool cool cool cool cool its fine im fine

[rosecoloredbcy]

𝖘𝖒𝖘 * / 𝖔𝖚𝖙𝖌𝖔𝖎𝖓𝖌. ––– ave.

cruz: you're not an idiot. i'm really sorry.

avery: lol yeah i am

avery: i dont know why i expected anything

avery: what happened yesterday clearly didnt mean as much to you as it did to me

avery: it doesnt really matter i fucked all of this up

avery: its also a great feeling to see you're perfectly fucking fine after all of this. just going out for drinks with the squad

avery: do you really even care about this

avery: about me?? because it doesnt seem like it