Autistic women are at a much higher risk of abuse and exploitation, especially sexual abuse and exploitation, and men know this. Their claims of wanting an "autistic gf" are not just from a place of fetishizing what they perceive as "quiet, nerdy girls" although that's certainly part of it. Many of them know that autistic women can be more susceptible to obliviousness to red flags or abusive behavior. Many autistic women are more likely to give benefit of the doubt; they can be used to people not giving them grace and can over-extend that goodwill to others, assuming the best in people’s intentions.
Men know they can show kindness to autistic women under the guise of wanting to be friends and then use that to their advantage to sexually abuse them. Many of them are also aware that autistic women may earn less money, and can thus be exploited financially as well. They hold their financial and emotional support (although they often do a poor job of this) of their partner over their heads to convince them the way they are treated is normal. As in, "I treat you like shit because I have to work harder to deal with you" etc.
This isn’t meant to insinuate autistic women cannot be cognizant of bad behavior, but this is the reality many autistic women face especially those with higher support needs. Just like they can be more likely to be scammed, autistic women are more likely to be victims of other exploitation via social relationships. It is unfortunate and all of this is to say that autistic women would do well to be on guard and realize that men who say they “really want an autistic gf” are often not saying this from a good place. You do not have to shut yourself out of forming relationships, but you should be wary.
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