The Url Says It All

My vent blog, and a place to tell my story 21 years old Tw for sh Torture, Psych, COCSA, Child abuse, Cult, and TTI survivor. Prof diagnosed DID RAMCOA isn’t real

[rosestraumablog]

Finally making a pinned post.

Frequent fronters:

O- she/he/they

A- he/him

E- he/they

J- he/him

S- she/her

Ez- she/they

DNI:

-terfs/ radfem

-ramcoa “survivors”

-minors

[creature-wizard]

A warning for trauma survivors looking for online support

You may have come across the acronym "RAMCOA", which stands for "ritual abuse, mind control, and organized abuse."

If you search the Internet for RAMCOA, you might come across a result like this:

If you click the link, you'll be taken to a site that briefly describes what RAMCOA supposedly is, with content like:

MC - Mind Control. A shortened form of TBMC, standing for Torture Based Mind Control. MC is also known as programming, where victims are repeatedly tortured starting at a very young age to intentionally cause a system of dissociated parts that function perfectly to suit the abusers' needs.

alpha : a base program, one of the very first implemented. it trains the victim's mind to accept every order given by handlers willingly. parts with alpha programming will often have no will of their own, and very little personality outside of following orders.

aiw : alice in wonderland. typically split into 3 different sections : black alice, white alice, and crazy alice. ideally, a system scripted with aiw would have all three. white alice makes sure the system forgets the trauma, black alice makes the system feel like theyll be a danger to others if they remember the trauma, and crazy alice makes the system think theyre making it up or going insane if they ever remember it.

Literally all of this comes from a conspiracy theory - specifically, the Project Monarch alter programming conspiracy. It was developed and pushed by far right conspiracy theorists. Most of what people run into specifically traces back to Fritz Springmeier, a man who claimed in the 90's that the fight for gay rights was part of a plot to enthrone the antichrist in the year 2000. The Project Monarch conspiracy theory was always adjacent to the Satanic Panic, if not a somewhat niche part of it. If you start checking citations, you will find many of these people citing Svali, a conspiracy theorist who gets a lot of her material from Springmeier. (Example 1, example 2.)

This is no accident. The term RAMCOA was created by the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISSTD), which was created by and for psychologists who believed in the myths promoted during the Satanic Panic.

The RA part comes from "satanic ritual abuse," which was coined by Dr. Lawrence Pazder of Michelle Remembers (cw for descriptions of horrible abuses) fame. Lawrence Pazder is the man who effectively started the Satanic Panic. It cannot be overstated that Pazder, now a known malpractitioner, was considered the expert on ritual abuse during this time.

The MC part comes from "trauma-based mind control," which was coined to refer to the alleged abuses inflicted in Project Monarch. Parts of this conspiracy theory that can't be traced back to Fritz Springmeier can usually be traced back to Cathy O'Brien and Mark Phillips, two other (really racist) conspiracy theorists.

Ultimately, the entire conspiracy theory is constructed from tropes that go back to The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion (a known antisemitic hoax), blood libel, and early modern witch panic.

Searching the Internet for RAMCOA resources, ritual abuse, or trauma-based mind control will always bring you to conspiracy theorists.

(Also, the term OEA, which stands for "organized extreme abuse," will lead you to conspiracy theorists as well.)

So yeah, if you're looking for support, be very wary of this stuff. It will absolutely not help you heal; just the opposite.

[foxboy-alone]

sigh

I'm gonna say something about RAMCOA as one of the first blogs to get big talking about it on here and you all have to shut up and listen.

if you've been on the system side of tumblr for a long time you've probably seen my profile photo before- that profile photo is a photo I took of myself in 2022 that I used as the icon for the blog bad-dogs-system. that blog had around 1000 followers and was at the top of all of the system tags for around a year.

I fully believed I experienced TBMC (trauma based mind control) and I talked about it. a lot. many other people started talking about it following my blog getting the attention it got. TBMC was not the only thing I talked about but I talked about it frequently enough that I believe I had an influence in the wave of people who would go on to believe they experienced TBMC.

I, and I cannot stress this enough, was deep in a delusion.

I. was. delusional.

my brain was on fire. I was in the middle of an episode of a form of encephalitis that causes psychosis without realizing it because I had not been diagnosed yet. my brain made me paranoid and I took the very real gaps in my childhood memories and spiraled on them until my brain settled on a story that did not happen.

looking back, things don't add up. my story wasn't straight because it wasn't real. there were glaring inconsistencies in my experience because I was responding to something that did not happen while I fully believed that it did.

delusions do that. paranoia does that. delusions and paranoia take grains of truth (I was abused, I was raised in a cult, I experienced religious abuse in that cult, I have gaps in my childhood memories) and twist them into an entirely different story. delusions and paranoia make you very prone to falling for conspiracy theories and what I fell for was a conspiracy theory.

I did not believe in a lot of the more obviously conspiratorial beliefs like the government being involved etc. but I still created my own organic conspiracy theory based on these conspiracy theories.

TBMC is a conspiracy theory.

(I'd recommend reading through these for more, I'm just talking about my own experiences 👍)

and it's not your fault if you fell for it.

when you have gaps in your childhood memory, as many people with DID do, it's natural to wonder what's there. many of us have experienced things like severe abuse, sex trafficking, religious abuse, etc. so we know that what's in those gaps is likely unsavory. our minds have closed those doors for a reason, to protect us, but that doesn't stop us from wondering what's behind them.

the TBMC conspiracy theory invites people to create stories about mind control inside of those gaps. it offers to explain real and well documented responses to trauma like trauma bonds between children and abusive caregivers as TBMC even though these responses are well documented in people with a wide variety of traumas.

when you are suffering you want to know why. you want to know why you feel the ways you do, why you do the things you do, and for so many people with DID these answers are missing. it is normal to want an explanation and TBMC conspiracy theories are so easy to use as a filler for those gaps because they are very versatile. almost every normal trauma response can be altered to be a TBMC response making the signs fit literally every single person with trauma and DID.

when I decided I experienced TBMC I was truly at one of the lowest points in my life. I was deeply depressed, I had just gotten out of the abusive home I grew up in and was experiencing that "I'm no longer in the original survival mode so here's survival mode part 2 electric boogaloo" shock, I was stressed with school, I had just picked up self harm, and of course my brain was on fire. I was suffering. I wanted a why. so I sat there and spiraled until I came up with an "answer."

"why am I so miserable and so out of control of my life?" and I decided that I had experienced mind control and that's why I was miserable and that's why I had no control over my life. I decided that instead of looking at the facts I already had: I was in a depressive episode (famous for making you miserable) and I have DID (famous for making you out of control of your life) I experienced some bizarre fantastical abuse with no proof behind it.

and I was so invested in my confirmation bias. once I started centering my identity around being a TBMC survivor I started looking for evidence that I was, in fact, a TBMC survivor. I started gathering evidence (I had a notebook) and using that to justify my claims. I took little things like thinking there was a basement in the church and confirming that there was a basement in the church that I had foggy memory about but made me feel bad to mean that I had been programmed in the basement of the church and had been forced to forget it. instead of asking myself "huh? I wonder why that place makes me feel bad?" I worked backwards because I was looking for evidence of TBMC.

in reality, I now look back and know that I'd try to hide there from church service frequently and my dad would hit me when he'd find me hiding there because he wanted me in church service. that's it. classic, standard physical abuse. I'd also try to hide in places like the library and the coffee house and the bathrooms and experience the same thing. no conspiracy there. it was just ordinary physical abuse.

there were so many pieces that were real. that was one of the hard parts. people in the online TBMC community that was starting to form would engage with me and encourage these delusions. I'd mention things like the [now former] pastor being caught selling CSAM and other people online would say "look! you're right about TBMC! that's evidence of TBMC right there!" even though christian pastors selling CSAM is not particularly out of the ordinary or proof of TBMC, it's proof that your pastor is a child predator

and I was so isolated. I found community online while I was busy being paranoid that my best friend was a mind reader out to kill me offline. I had just moved to a new city for university and the only person I knew there was my best friend from highschool.... who I thought was part of a separate conspiracy of mind readers that wanted to kill me. I didn't connect with many people because I thought I had a superpower of knowing who is and isn't a mind reader and many of the trans people on campus were mind readers.

I was very lonely. I wanted to have people to talk to and the people I talked to also thought they were TBMC survivors! we all fed into each other. without people who knew me offline to fact check me I was weaving a fantastical tale that wasn't at all grounded in reality. because every single person I knew online was also deeply mentally ill we would vent a lot and point out to each other how we were right about our conclusions about TBMC.

perhaps the scariest part is how real it was. I fully believed that I experienced TBMC so I experienced the pain of it too, without it ever happening. it drove me much deeper into depression. I spent so much time dwelling on my trauma (and the trauma I did not have) that it became the center of my daily life.

and then.... it stopped. I received treatment for my underlying autoimmune disease and over the 3 months it took for my symptoms to die down I started realizing I was wrong. I started unraveling the pieces of my story and weaving a new one based on evidence. it has taken years to undo the damage of this conspiracy and I'm still doing it.

I didn't tell anyone about this. this is my first time mentioning it to anyone but I needed to get this off my chest. I see so many people talking about TBMC now that I'm returning to the system community and it pains me to think of how I've been part of this.

I'm sorry. I wish I could have known what was happening to my brain so I could have avoided sending so many people down a conspiratorial rabbit hole. it's honestly one of my biggest regrets even though I wasn't really in control of it.

I just hope this post can reach people questioning whether they're TBMC survivors and encourage them to ask questions about the validity of the idea of TBMC. not everyone who falls for this conspiracy theory is delusional but I do thoroughly believe that everyone is wrong.

I've been there. it's not your fault. it's not your fault but you should change now before it hurts you more.

reblogs ok

[foxboy-alone]

sigh

I'm gonna say something about RAMCOA as one of the first blogs to get big talking about it on here and you all have to shut up and listen.

if you've been on the system side of tumblr for a long time you've probably seen my profile photo before- that profile photo is a photo I took of myself in 2022 that I used as the icon for the blog bad-dogs-system. that blog had around 1000 followers and was at the top of all of the system tags for around a year.

I fully believed I experienced TBMC (trauma based mind control) and I talked about it. a lot. many other people started talking about it following my blog getting the attention it got. TBMC was not the only thing I talked about but I talked about it frequently enough that I believe I had an influence in the wave of people who would go on to believe they experienced TBMC.

I, and I cannot stress this enough, was deep in a delusion.

I. was. delusional.

my brain was on fire. I was in the middle of an episode of a form of encephalitis that causes psychosis without realizing it because I had not been diagnosed yet. my brain made me paranoid and I took the very real gaps in my childhood memories and spiraled on them until my brain settled on a story that did not happen.

looking back, things don't add up. my story wasn't straight because it wasn't real. there were glaring inconsistencies in my experience because I was responding to something that did not happen while I fully believed that it did.

delusions do that. paranoia does that. delusions and paranoia take grains of truth (I was abused, I was raised in a cult, I experienced religious abuse in that cult, I have gaps in my childhood memories) and twist them into an entirely different story. delusions and paranoia make you very prone to falling for conspiracy theories and what I fell for was a conspiracy theory.

I did not believe in a lot of the more obviously conspiratorial beliefs like the government being involved etc. but I still created my own organic conspiracy theory based on these conspiracy theories.

TBMC is a conspiracy theory.

(I'd recommend reading through these for more, I'm just talking about my own experiences 👍)

and it's not your fault if you fell for it.

when you have gaps in your childhood memory, as many people with DID do, it's natural to wonder what's there. many of us have experienced things like severe abuse, sex trafficking, religious abuse, etc. so we know that what's in those gaps is likely unsavory. our minds have closed those doors for a reason, to protect us, but that doesn't stop us from wondering what's behind them.

the TBMC conspiracy theory invites people to create stories about mind control inside of those gaps. it offers to explain real and well documented responses to trauma like trauma bonds between children and abusive caregivers as TBMC even though these responses are well documented in people with a wide variety of traumas.

when you are suffering you want to know why. you want to know why you feel the ways you do, why you do the things you do, and for so many people with DID these answers are missing. it is normal to want an explanation and TBMC conspiracy theories are so easy to use as a filler for those gaps because they are very versatile. almost every normal trauma response can be altered to be a TBMC response making the signs fit literally every single person with trauma and DID.

when I decided I experienced TBMC I was truly at one of the lowest points in my life. I was deeply depressed, I had just gotten out of the abusive home I grew up in and was experiencing that "I'm no longer in the original survival mode so here's survival mode part 2 electric boogaloo" shock, I was stressed with school, I had just picked up self harm, and of course my brain was on fire. I was suffering. I wanted a why. so I sat there and spiraled until I came up with an "answer."

"why am I so miserable and so out of control of my life?" and I decided that I had experienced mind control and that's why I was miserable and that's why I had no control over my life. I decided that instead of looking at the facts I already had: I was in a depressive episode (famous for making you miserable) and I have DID (famous for making you out of control of your life) I experienced some bizarre fantastical abuse with no proof behind it.

and I was so invested in my confirmation bias. once I started centering my identity around being a TBMC survivor I started looking for evidence that I was, in fact, a TBMC survivor. I started gathering evidence (I had a notebook) and using that to justify my claims. I took little things like thinking there was a basement in the church and confirming that there was a basement in the church that I had foggy memory about but made me feel bad to mean that I had been programmed in the basement of the church and had been forced to forget it. instead of asking myself "huh? I wonder why that place makes me feel bad?" I worked backwards because I was looking for evidence of TBMC.

in reality, I now look back and know that I'd try to hide there from church service frequently and my dad would hit me when he'd find me hiding there because he wanted me in church service. that's it. classic, standard physical abuse. I'd also try to hide in places like the library and the coffee house and the bathrooms and experience the same thing. no conspiracy there. it was just ordinary physical abuse.

there were so many pieces that were real. that was one of the hard parts. people in the online TBMC community that was starting to form would engage with me and encourage these delusions. I'd mention things like the [now former] pastor being caught selling CSAM and other people online would say "look! you're right about TBMC! that's evidence of TBMC right there!" even though christian pastors selling CSAM is not particularly out of the ordinary or proof of TBMC, it's proof that your pastor is a child predator

and I was so isolated. I found community online while I was busy being paranoid that my best friend was a mind reader out to kill me offline. I had just moved to a new city for university and the only person I knew there was my best friend from highschool.... who I thought was part of a separate conspiracy of mind readers that wanted to kill me. I didn't connect with many people because I thought I had a superpower of knowing who is and isn't a mind reader and many of the trans people on campus were mind readers.

I was very lonely. I wanted to have people to talk to and the people I talked to also thought they were TBMC survivors! we all fed into each other. without people who knew me offline to fact check me I was weaving a fantastical tale that wasn't at all grounded in reality. because every single person I knew online was also deeply mentally ill we would vent a lot and point out to each other how we were right about our conclusions about TBMC.

perhaps the scariest part is how real it was. I fully believed that I experienced TBMC so I experienced the pain of it too, without it ever happening. it drove me much deeper into depression. I spent so much time dwelling on my trauma (and the trauma I did not have) that it became the center of my daily life.

and then.... it stopped. I received treatment for my underlying autoimmune disease and over the 3 months it took for my symptoms to die down I started realizing I was wrong. I started unraveling the pieces of my story and weaving a new one based on evidence. it has taken years to undo the damage of this conspiracy and I'm still doing it.

I didn't tell anyone about this. this is my first time mentioning it to anyone but I needed to get this off my chest. I see so many people talking about TBMC now that I'm returning to the system community and it pains me to think of how I've been part of this.

I'm sorry. I wish I could have known what was happening to my brain so I could have avoided sending so many people down a conspiratorial rabbit hole. it's honestly one of my biggest regrets even though I wasn't really in control of it.

I just hope this post can reach people questioning whether they're TBMC survivors and encourage them to ask questions about the validity of the idea of TBMC. not everyone who falls for this conspiracy theory is delusional but I do thoroughly believe that everyone is wrong.

I've been there. it's not your fault. it's not your fault but you should change now before it hurts you more.

reblogs ok

[sugarrbabies]

By pro-ramcoa, do you mean people who support ramcoa, or people who believe that it exists?

࣪ ִֶָ☾.Triantafyllos

I've answered this question before, but I've done some more research into what RAMCOA really is. Before, I misunderstood it. While I believe organized and ritual abuse is real, programming likely is not. I generally also find the community to be turbo toxic. It's also impossible to predict trauma responses, since each are highly personal and cannot be replicated the exact same way for everyone. The trauma can be real, but I do not welcome the RAMCOA community and prefer to keep it that way.

More sophisticated explanation of my thoughts below. This explanation has not been purely written by me, but by another friend of mine.

RAMCOA stands for ritual abuse, mind control and organised abuse. I do not deny that all of these things are real, but the RAMCOA acronym promotes a conspiracy theory that revolves around mind programming. It suggests that it is possible to traumatise individuals in a way that allows one to reliably predict and exploit trauma responses, which is simply not possible- trauma responses are highly individual and the same experience can be a non-issue for one person or lead to severe trauma in another. This notion of programmability of people has lead the RAMCOA community and its followers to encourage paranoia, make you search for memories that never existed and worsen your dissociation. Historically speaking, the RAMCOA movement stemmed from the satanic panic, and thusly has antisemetic origins.

[sugarrbabies]

By pro-ramcoa, do you mean people who support ramcoa, or people who believe that it exists?

࣪ ִֶָ☾.Triantafyllos

I've answered this question before, but I've done some more research into what RAMCOA really is. Before, I misunderstood it. While I believe organized and ritual abuse is real, programming likely is not. I generally also find the community to be turbo toxic. It's also impossible to predict trauma responses, since each are highly personal and cannot be replicated the exact same way for everyone. The trauma can be real, but I do not welcome the RAMCOA community and prefer to keep it that way.

More sophisticated explanation of my thoughts below. This explanation has not been purely written by me, but by another friend of mine.

RAMCOA stands for ritual abuse, mind control and organised abuse. I do not deny that all of these things are real, but the RAMCOA acronym promotes a conspiracy theory that revolves around mind programming. It suggests that it is possible to traumatise individuals in a way that allows one to reliably predict and exploit trauma responses, which is simply not possible- trauma responses are highly individual and the same experience can be a non-issue for one person or lead to severe trauma in another. This notion of programmability of people has lead the RAMCOA community and its followers to encourage paranoia, make you search for memories that never existed and worsen your dissociation. Historically speaking, the RAMCOA movement stemmed from the satanic panic, and thusly has antisemetic origins.

[theconcealedweapon]

If ICE are not Nazis, why is every single argument used to defend ICE one that has also been used to defend Nazis?

"Just obey them and they won't kill you."

Yeah, that was said about Nazis too.

"They're just doing their jobs and keeping us safe."

Yeah, that was said about Nazis too.

"But look at all these crimes committed by illegals."

Yeah, that was said about Nazis too.

[creature-wizard]

Why Project Monarch & Alter Programming Aren't Real: The Masterpost

With current events the way they are, it's more crucial than ever that everyone understands where the conspiracy narratives about cults practicing secret mind control techniques and conducting all of these ritual murders and tortures comes from, and how we know that all of this stuff is straight-up not real.

(To be clear, I am not saying that people's trauma symptoms aren't real, or that they weren't severely abused in some way. I am saying that alter programming is not actually required to explain anyone's trauma symptoms. People's symptoms are real, but special mind control practices are not the cause.)

The Basics

How we know false memories exist (and no, it's not because the FMSF says so!)

How Project Monarch fails the "Six Ways To Debunk Any Conspiracy Theory" sniff test

How the discovery of real cases of religious abuse, csa, government conspiracies, etc. actually weaken claims of Monarch-type programming

Recovered memory therapy from the perspective of former patients

The History

The Shared Origins of Reptilian & Ritual Abuse Conspiracy Theories

What the Project Monarch alter programming conspiracy theory is (and what it's not)

How the Project Monarch alter programming conspiracy theory developed

The Proponents

Cathy O'Brien - One of the first Project Monarch "Survivors"

Cathy O'Brien claims transgender is a mind control agenda

Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler: Two Of The Most Dangerous Conspiracy Theorists Most People Have Never Heard Of

Svali, a "survivor" cited by people like Alison Miller and Ellen Lacter, is a conspiracy theorist

Svali: An Underacknowledged Influence on Alter Programming Conspiracy Theories

Origins of the Five Steps of Discipline - it was made up by Svali!

Yes, Dr. Alison Miller is a conspiracy theorist

Yes, Dr. Colin Ross is a conspiracy theorist

Unwelcome Ozian copied Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler - see for yourself!

I just read Unwelcome Ozian's "Rules of Programming," and Oh Boy.

Other

Why the survey cited by Ellen Lacter is worthless and meaningless

How singlets can be misled into believing they have DID

Let's talk about The Symptoms(TM), and how they're a red flag for bullshit

Don't let people guilt trip you into accepting substandard evidence

How to explain to others that Project Monarch isn't real

Check your conspiracy theory. Does it sound anything like this?

Check your conspiracy theory part two: double, double, boil and trouble

Check Your Conspiracy Theory Part Three: Babylonian Mysteries?? In My Religion???

[slaydiva111]

It's so pathetic seeing endogenic 'systems' saying "well if you're gonna be anti-endo then you can't use endo terms anymore!!" If you're going to be an ableist little prick who waters down being a system, then you can't use the words 'system,' 'alter,' 'fictive,' 'factive,' and every single other TRAUMAGENIC term that you've taken for yourself.

Endos love to play the victim so much, they get all angry when you use the term 'plural' but then they go and use terms that not only are made for ACTUAL systems, but that are used in MEDICAL settings (such as introject). MEDICAL SETTINGS. FOR PEOPLE WITH DISORDERS. THAT ARE RECOGNISED MEDICALLY. AND CAUSE THEM PAIN.

It's like when neurotypical people steal the words 'overstimulated' and 'vocal stim.' Those aren't terms that are made for you, because you literally don't experience those things if you don't have those disorders. Endogenic systems do not experience DID/OSDD and therefore should not be fucking allowed to use MEDICAL terms made for ACTUAL systems that are CLINICALLY recognised to have a TRAUMA/DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER.

If you don't have DID/OSDD, you can't have alters. You can't have fictives, you can't have factives, you can't have prosecutors, you can't have protectors, you can't have littles/syskids, you can't have memory holders and you absolutely fucking CANNOT under NO circumstance have persecutors. You just want an excuse for your pathetic behaviour.

[rainyloreinfinity]

So far from what I have learned, not much yet, saying that you are pro endo means that you believe that DID can occur without trauma.

That is horribly inaccurate. DID only occurs as a result of trauma. Think of it this way, if it makes sense then great but if it doesn't then move on.

DID only shows up in childhood. Why? A child's mind is fragile, you can think of it as being like china or some sort of porcelain doll. Imagine throwing that doll across the room and it lands somewhere. When it does, it shatters into many many pieces. Each piece represents an alter. Due to trauma, their mind fractured.

I wonder if some people that claim to be pro endo think that yelling isn't traumatizing. That to them, if it is not 'significant' then it isn't trauma. Hate to break it to you but almost anything can be considered traumatizing. You can't tell someone with DID or any sort of disorder that resulted from trauma that 'it wasn't trauma'. Or that it wasn't that bad. Or it's not that serious.

If you don't have DID then you have no say in what happened to them as kids. You have no right to tell them that they weren't traumatized. Claiming that DID can occur outside of trauma is factually incorrect but also you are brainwashed. There have been people who claimed to have DID and then later explained that they don't but claimed it for attention. I fear that you have fallen for that.

Unless some boatloads of actual studies prove otherwise, DID only occurs due to trauma. Do not make light of their experiences.

[antiendosafespace]

Just went through the pro endo tag for about 15 minutes blocking everyone in the latest posts and omfg. they pretend they're harmless but most of the posts were so creepy and also pro-rq, I'm not surprised but fuuuck. Endos PLEASEEE stop being so god damn weirddd. Its 2026 just go and learn how to RP or something tf

Endos would benefit so much from just roleplaying. Like...roleplaying is not that hard boo, just roleplay

[theloverscrypt]

She dissociate on my identity till it disorders.

[sysfreak-official]

developing a system is like making toast. hear me out on this one.

sure, there are multiple ways you can make toast. you can use a toaster, a grill, a pan, an oven, even a flamethrower if you like it REALLY toasted. but you know what all of those methods have in common?

they all require heat.

if you have no heat source, you can't make toast. sure, you can use a sharpie and scribble on bread to make it *look* like toast, but it's still bread. it still isn't toast without the heat.

developing a CDD (aka system/plurality) is the same way. trauma can look vastly different, but it's all still trauma. abuse, neglect, bullying, it does not matter. trauma is required for the formation of a system just like heat is required for toast.

endos can try to look like systems all they want. they can use a whole box of sharpies trying to pretend they're the same as us. but at the end of the day, they're still bread and we're still toast.

[sayingshitatp]

”I asked chatgpt” oh yeah? well i asked my parts and they told me to kill myself.

[hopeful-recoveryy]

People who self harm only for attention are just as valid as people who self harm for any other reason.

Seriously.

Parents often make the mistake of dismissing their child’s self harm as “attention seeking” when it’s otherwise.

But what always gets me is that, even if a child is harming themselves solely to get attention, that is a huge problem they need help for!

If a person has to go as far as to cause physical harm to themselves in order to gain what they feel as the proper amount of attention, that is someone who needs help ASAP.

No matter the form, no matter the severity, no matter the reason, self harm is a sign of severe distress that deserves immediate, intense attention.

And no one will ever convince me otherwise.

[hazedxg0]

DID symptoms that people don't talk enough about

The cycle of forgetting and then re-remembering trauma memories

Constant depersonalization and derealization

Feeling as if you're stuck living someone else's life

Failure to plan for the future because nothing feels real + losing time

Thinking a flashback is over when you've actually just dissociated away from it, and having it resume as soon as you stop dissociating

Dissociative stupor/trance

Alexithymia

Identity issues outside of alters

Inability to connect with other people

Being unable to tell if you've healed from a past problem/trauma or if you've just dissociated away from it

Not learning from past mistakes because of amnesia and dissociation

Feeling nothing psychologically despite physical shaking, racing heart, nausea, crying, etc

The extreme disorientation + identity confusion that comes with co-consciousness and co-fronting

Somatic flashbacks

Being triggered by your own DID symptoms because you know the only reason you're experiencing any of this is because of what they did to you

[debarked]

trauma so bad my coping mechanisms have names and pronouns