when i was a child [like 5th through 8th grade especially] i was obsessed with the end of the world.
but! the most interesting way that played out was that for much of the 6th grade and the very beginning of 7th, i was plagued by the anxiety that i was the antichrist as in the Literal Bringer of the End of Days which is weird b/c at the time my mom and i were attending a very mainline wealthy-congregation methodist megachurch and at no time was i steeped in southern protestant apocalypticism like from family or whatever so the obsession w/ the apocalypse, who knows where that comes from, but the antichrist thing thats probably…idk if i had ever expressed that to an adult i would hope they would have directed me towards mental health services [but lets be realistic…]
idk anyway i dont think about it a lot but the year-long anxiety abt being, again, the Literal Antichrist is, like…honestly it was very traumatizing and it is so much a part of like the background noise of my life [like the static radiation from the big bang] and its something that i think would be worth exploring abt myself in greater reflection at some point



















