:)

You don't have to follow me. But it would be nice. I'm just me.

[roboco-san]

no smart appliances in this house. absolute fucking moron appliances only. my toaster is there to make bread hot not to tweet what time I ate breakfast or whatever the fuck

[cottagelf]

Smol gang here to tell u that everything will be okay!

[julia-famula]

snail gang

[babyanimalgifs]

Lorraine the fluffy chicken’s glow up! 

(via)

[pikaole]

Tit🐦

[ Patreon / twitter / insta / shop / society6 / teepublic / LINE store  ]

[elmobloop]

beetroot + her friend radish

[kuttithevangu]

Do you remember the grocery store, Mr. Frodo? It’ll be spring soon, and the Red Sox will be at Fenway; and the cafes will be putting tables on the sidewalk; and they’ll be cleaning out the boathouses on the Charles; and eating takeout from the Armenian grocery store. Do you remember the taste of takeout?

[g0ds-favorite]

[goruma]

ive tried opening my mouth and saying words before nd ive gotta say. im not a fan

[somanyofthekids]

I was talking to a kid in my daughter’s class today, and she said that she thought it would be fun to write a story about the Titanic, but with supernatural creatures.

So I said, “Yeah, that would great! What would the creatures do? Would they save the Titanic from sinking?”

And she gave me the most disgusted look. I have never seen a 9 year old face look so appalled.

“No,” she said, speaking very clearly so as to never be so grossly misunderstood again, “they’re going to eat the passengers.”

God I hope she lets me read it.

[countrytoads]

catfish simultaneously look like they possess infinite knowledge of the universe and like they just have the mii theme playing in their head nonstop

[countrytoads]

you see what i mean

[creepsandcrawlers]

they know everything but it all cancels out

[vesklerdraws]

angy meme but tangy

[itchycoil]

I have 2 “head” “cannons” …. They’re called my nostrils

[kuttithevangu]

Do you remember the grocery store, Mr. Frodo? It’ll be spring soon, and the Red Sox will be at Fenway; and the cafes will be putting tables on the sidewalk; and they’ll be cleaning out the boathouses on the Charles; and eating takeout from the Armenian grocery store. Do you remember the taste of takeout?

[g0ds-favorite]

[slavery]

when you unsuspectingly see your best friend at the store

[internalscorpio-deactivated2019]

why the fuck would this be my reaction

[slavery]

You must not have a best friend

[nyctosaurid]

human instincts

ghost detection

no one here knows you but they all hate you

go pet that large predatory animal 

[azuretheshitposter]

hit person with cardboard tube

[strangled-mangoes]

Slap someone with overly long sleeves

[personal-for-leaf]

The unbelievably strong desire to just scream

[because-im-freaking-greed]

clack tongs like crab

[atwotonedbird]

Hit yourself with cardboard tube

[khadij-al-kubra]

Pop bubble wrap