Quintessence

occultist thinking about how I know I'm thinking.. while high on drugs.

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

All grown up.

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

Getting well.. to be functional hopefully.

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

George Floyd Protests in Seattle a year or so ago. This hit home for me, maybe I will post the video so that you can actually are the fear in some of our eyes as we are just trying to tell a message while trying to avoid getting hit in our eyes by flashbangs.

[thisiselliz]

[davidmight69her]

Yung Lean

[99centst0re]

[pushthemovement]

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

Today's Thoughts From Inside The Drug Tent

Days don't pass anymore, they all blend together as if night and day forgot which order they go in.

I only work so that I can afford a place with walls to keep everyone away from me.

I'm desperate for silence when it's too quiet for me to think clearly.

I've betrayed myself three times this week already.

The first time was when I spent my rent money on white stuff that makes my heart shake.

The second time was when I decided staying up for one more hour wouldnt be too noticeable to my sleep schedule.

The third time was when I tried to talk to someone thinking I would be able to respond to them when they replied back to my pathetic "hey".

I am only alone because I forgot how to speak.

They said doing drugs was so childish and yet I've never had to grow up so fast.

I now understand the world and its caused me to harden around my heart and bury myself alive.

I haven't been able to breathe in almost a decade.

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

Your heart doesnt know where mines been.

I'll never let your heart go where mines been.

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

I was so high for April that I thought it was May and now that its May I'm just confused.

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

The drug store tent place set up a smoking tent so that people stop smoking around the shop.. so I took a video of it at 4 am. It's weird that I'm most comfortable in these places.

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

I can't believe a long time ago tumblr knew me as Meth Mary. Can I be called Blues Clues now? Lol

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

I can feel my skin clinging to my bones

My hair stands up to fight you too

All of me is present here but

We dont smile when we see each other like we used to

Your fingers dance along the pianos edge

The coffee this morning tastes different

You smell different

We dont get nervous anymore, we just get angry

And hiss between our teeth promises lifted

Your toes dance along the building's ledge

Do not ever call me weak

Do not ever say you love me again

Even my resilience has a limit

I make my coffee the same way every morning

But your kiss didnt stain my tongue before this sip

Maybe that's what it is

Your kisses taste like him

And it makes me sick to my stomach

My fingers are black from burnt spoons and

All of our shoes are missing their shoelaces

I wish I couldnt taste anything

I wish I could stop thinking

We lose everyone sometime.

I just didnt think I would ever lose you .

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

It's kind of weird sometimes to see how much I havent changed.. still doing drugs except maybe now I'm functional.. still completely alone.. still laying down counting how many times my heart beats harder than it should. The blue streams of my lifeline fading from my arm promising me promises that I have heard before.. I dont even know what to say to myself. I am not a bad person but for some reason at the end of the day, I just have other junkies who are just as lonely as me sprawled across the floor passed out half dead next to me.. with the same sad fucking story of being afraid to have hope in ourselves again. I cant tell you how many times I have let myself down and that hurts more than anyone else. I dont think I can try again but I also dont want to just submit to being the annoying 45 year old drug addict screaming at all the tourists that think Seattle is a pretty place to visit. But then again, I just got back home from picking up inside the jungle.. it's also interesting to see that I can just walk up to this tent being run by random brothers who are apart of a bigger operation and buy from them. They have pounds available all day and you dont have to call them, anyone can walk up and place an order. Seattle, everybody. We also are now allowed to use in public with no consequences so when I try to go to the blade (this block downtown that is overrun by drug dealers) and ask someone to buy from them, they like are smoking blues on foil right in front of cops like its chill. It still freaks me out. I'm a private person for the most part I guess.. how am I not dead yet. Also.. where are all the people that promised to never leave me when things got difficult.. why does that include everything except for drug addiction. I'm so sad..

[keepwastingprescriptions]

This is me now, bitches. #stillondrugs #blackgirlmagick #roughdraftwitchcraft

[roughdraftwitchcraft]

He's my best friend

[keepwastingprescriptions]

No Lectures No Sermons