Dark chocolate is tasty.

Random, writery, rhythmy, tasty

[rouxtj]

The State of the Union...

D: Are we completely screwed as a society, or am I just pessimistic today?

Me: Answer: yes. #askingthewrongperson

D: #shouldhaveknown

[rouxtj]

"And for the record, not ALL guys are after one thing only. Just most...."

D

[rouxtj]

Question Without Answer

Me: Why is the day so long?

D: That I do not know

[rouxtj]

Not a Date

Me: [Redacted] would say, as long as I pay for myself, it's definitely not a date.

D: Ugh

Me: Is that not right?

D: How should I know?

Me: Ha ha ha ha ha...

[rouxtj]

Workin for the Man

Me: I'm bored. ...What are you up to?

D: Working for the ma'am

Man

Me: Or both.

D: Yes

[rouxtj]

C'est la vie.

D: So I recently hit it off with a young lady at salsa [dancing] last week. Guess what she's doing today?

Me: Ummm... *shrug*

D: Moving to MALAYSIA

#storyofmylife

[rouxtj]

"Well, if he's a Kirk guy, enough said."

D (on dating prospects)

[rouxtj]

If you're in your own office in a cold building, these could SAVE YOUR LIFE.

[rouxtj]

Middle Names

D: [Redacted] is gone now, so I'm back to lonely friendlessness. I can relate.

Me: Lonely Friendlessness is my middle name.

D: You have two middle names? Very progressive.

Me: Quantity over quality, I say.

[rouxtj]

So Many Reasons...

D: Why does life suck?...

Me: "Why does life suck?" Let me count the ways...

[rouxtj]

Liquid Faith?

Me: Oh ye of little faith...

D: Ye of little whiskey, more accurately

[rouxtj]

New Year's Eve Plans

D: So your plan is to play midnight tonsil-hockey with a stranger, eh? On one hand - scandalous. On the other hand - props!

Me: Oh no! Just a regular kiss. ...It's just new year's tradition. :P

D: Oh. Props withdrawn.

Me: ...Why can't I get props for being a decent female?

D: Half props

Me: ~__~

[rouxtj]

On the Greyhound Home

Me: We haven't left the dock yet & already I'm feeling homicidal. :S

D: Uh oh

Me: Lol. I guess I just don't like people in general. :P

D: Remember what you read in the NHB [No Holds Barred fighting] book...

Me: Right. I'll do my best to send them the way of Mr. Snowman.

[rouxtj]

"Secret Snowman" Domination (after the perfect gift)

Me: So how'd secret snowman go?

D: Success

Me: Congrats on your office victory! What will you do now that you've conquered the snowman?

D: I didn't just conquer him, I put him in a front face lock

Me: ...But he deserved it for being so secretive.

D: Snapped that carrot right off his face

Me: LOL! Did you make him say "matte?"

D: [no response]

Me: Obscure "Bloodsport" reference?

[rouxtj]

Not An Active Listener

Katana Guy: Do you know what haggis is?

Other Guy: Yes.

Katana Guy: (proceeds to describe what haggis is...)

[rouxtj]

Missed Opportunity

Me: I've never met a male model before. Kinda wanted to. XP

D: Well there's that

[rouxtj]

After D Passes Out, Drinking Over the Phone

Me: You soooo cannot handle the Templeton... But we both wish you a good night anyway! ^_^

D: Dominated. I request a rematch, however....

Me: That can be arranged. The champion is both willing and able...

D: I'm at least willing...