Had a dream of a naruto twin au except for some reason the self insert naruto twin girl (kushinas hair and eyes, minato face, yk standard) had to go find a tokubetsu jonin or just a jonin for a class project
I'll call her Mikoto / Miko for now or something
So like class project, they're like 4 years old or 5, and it's one of those draw your family and talk about them scenarios and everyone's being mean about it to them bc kids are cruel
Obviously, being SI, she's already told Naruto and thought of a plan to get out of jail free but he wants to draw them despite it being an S class secret. So, of course, she indulges him. Dips out quietly as a mouse and politely asks at the shinobi desk for a Tokubetsu Jonin
By pure chance, one is literally there just going to get a mission. It's also one that, despite them being who they are, is rather neutral about them - we'll call him Haiiro. So he indulges her, "what do you need a tokubetsu for?"
Its serious, the way she looks at him (and adorable since she's a child trying to be serious), "I need a contract written up as a Promise." So he indulges her once more and she pockets the paper and holds her hand out to walk back to the classroom with him.
"We wanna draw our mama and papa-" she says having extracted The Promise, The Contract and Haiiro is internally like 'oh god' and she continues, "But it's a SECRET. SO, we need permission to DRAW THEM but not talk about them :)"
He is in. A situation. He technically accepted this as a mission. Even the shinobi desk ninja accepted it technically. (They didn't read what she wrote properly, she knows it)
So Miko owns that shit. Haiiro gets this feeling he's going to be... sought out more. He also needs to know HOW they know so he can tell the Hokage. But she's a kid so he can't just. Go shove her at a Yamanaka immediately. She looks him dead in the eye and says "so will you do it?"
Fuck it, he thinks, he'll do it, there'll be something funny about this. (Where the fuck is Hound, why isn't he watching her-)
So she slips back into class WITH this Jonin and the teacher is. Stunned. Confused. She thumbs ups naruto and he yells at her that, "Awesome IM DRAWING MAMA"
So she delegates herself to drawing Minato dutifully by looking out the window. If she draws him like a Shoujo man as only a 4 or 5 year old could that's even funnier.
Teacher is BAFFLED. Why is he here, when did the demons sister slip out. What is going on. Haiiro just says, "wait and see. Continue as normal."
So, teacher does. Kids are also curious but can't say anything because Teacher GLARES and gets things back on track. They start talking about their families. Ami gives a snide talk and side eyes Miko and Naruto during it. Sakura recites dutifully. Sasuke goes before them and extolls the virtues of his brother.
Then Miko and Naruto stand. "This is us," they point out, "and this is our parents." Haiiro is torn between laughing and crying. "We can't talk about them cause they're meant to be a secret so that's why I brought Mr Jonin here to let us do this-"
"Our mama was so cool, 'ttebayo!" Naruto says and starts talking about her hair and her face and that, "She was from UZU its so cool."
He wants to shut them up but he also. Doesn't. Bound by mission parameters, he'll claim. Fuck it, he's taking these kids home with him later, theyre SMART. He always wanted minions.
and oh no no what's she doing. She's pointing out the window then at her paper. "Yondaime. Thanks."
Class erupts into shouts. Lots of calls of liars. Naruto is beaming. Miko is smiling innocently, pocketing the paper.
Haiiro is so fucking dead. He laughs and laughs and laughs. He's filing adoption papers later.
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