i'm a free bitch, baby

It's your favorite fashion queen, Lady Roxy. Tonight I'm going to talk to you about how I feel being stuck in a hellhole of uncultured subhumans who wouldn't know what high society was if it bit them on the ass. Did I mention that this place is haunted? That's right, my little monsters, call the priest because I'm going to need an exorcism if I have to stay here another day.

[deusangelus]

The First Encounter (Open to Elijah's Group)

[fantomes-and-gore]

Yeah, Einstein, how the hell are we going to do that? Walk up to it and ask nicely?

 It’ll take too long to find out a weakness. Let’s just stab it in the eye. Or its heart, if it even has one.

[roxy-musique]

What if it's just a misunderstood creature? What if all it needs is a little bit of love? Maybe when you kiss it it turns into a handsome prince? You know, like Beauty and the Beast? I don't know, I'm just throwing things out there!

[deusangelus]

The First Encounter (Open to Elijah's Group)

[fantomes-and-gore]

*follows Elijah into apartment* Alright then, we’re not leaving this place until we have a coherent plan on how not to get killed. Suggestions, anyone?

[roxy-musique]

I think we should just stay in here. It's not going to look for us in here, right? Right?

[deusangelus]

The First Encounter (Open to Elijah's Group)

[childofaghost]

I think it’s coming after us!

[roxy-musique]

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Run!

[deusangelus]

The First Encounter (Open to Elijah's Group)

[fantomes-and-gore]

Holy shit. It’s - it was…uh…

It was huge…and glowing red with horns and I swear, it breathes fire. Something like this. It was at the end of the hallway, looking the other way…but I think it might be coming here right now.

[roxy-musique]

So basically we're going to die. Fantastic! Let me just fix my hair so I can leave a pretty corpse behind.

[deusangelus]

The First Encounter (Open to Elijah's Group)

[fantomes-and-gore]

A little peak wouldn’t hurt. We have to know what we’re up against.

H o l y  SHIT.

[roxy-musique]

What?! What is it?

[deusangelus]

The First Encounter (Open to Elijah's Group)

[fantomes-and-gore]

Well, fuck. I heard it, too, coming from over there.  *grips rusty scissors in hand* Elijah, do we attack or run?

[roxy-musique]

I know I don't have much of a say in this, right, but I think we should fucking run for our lives.

[therealelijames]

You have a very stereotyped imagining of what a psychiatric session is like…

[roxy-musique]

Don't try to tell me that isn't what happens.

[therealelijames]

Yeah, I’m sure. I think you have a few delusions you need to work through. I can help you, if that’s what you want.

[roxy-musique]

Ew, no way! I'm not going to sit on your stupid couch and tell you about my childhood.

[therealelijames]

No, that’s news to me. Maybe you’re a bit crazier than I initially thought.

[roxy-musique]

Don't mock me, shrink. I'm for serious, there's bad voodoo here. This place is a Satan-infested hellhole.

[therealelijames]

Well, to be honest, I aspire to be what you call a ‘shrink’. I’ve been studying psychology for a while now. 

Why don’t you just leave now? What’s stopping you from getting back out there and making yourself great again? And what have you been doing holed up in a place like this anyway?

[roxy-musique]

Honey, you must be really out of the loop. No one is able to leave this place. We're trapped like rats by ghosts or some shit. Or haven't you heard?

[therealelijames]

Wait wait wait… You’re Lady Roxy? The famous fashionista with a case of histrionic and narcissistic personality disorders? I heard your career was down the toilet. Everybody thinks you’re dead, the papers said no one’s heard from you in ages.

[roxy-musique]

A case of what? Ew, you sound like a shrink. I hate shrinks. 

So everyone thinks I'm dead? Good. Then maybe when I get out of here I can start all over again under a new name and rise to the top without all of those nasty rumors weighing me down.

[siliconesaline]

[roxy-musique]

It wouldn't be the first time someone's accidentally time traveled around here.

What? This happens a lot? Great. Now I have to worry about being randomly transported through time, as if things weren’t bad enough.

[therealelijames]

Truth be told, you’re the first person I’ve met here so far and I am not getting good first impressions. 

[roxy-musique]

Too bad, loser. Do you even know who I am? I'm Lady fucking Roxy! I don't need to impress you or anyone.

[roxy-musique]

Hell if I know! You disappeared for a few months, you tell me what happened to you.

I don’t fucking know, goddamnit! Fuck, look at you, you look way worse than you did the last time I saw you. Do you think I just skipped all the time somehow?

[therealelijames]

I haven’t been here for more than a day, I really don’t know what you’re talking about.

[roxy-musique]

Well, I guess you're useless then. Where is everybody, anyway? Someone needs to tell me what the fuck is happening.

[roxy-musique]

Ah, well you're back from the dead. Nice to see that.

Why, if it isn’t my number one fan. You better explain what happened to me before you get my foot up your ass.