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@royallyxlenore
PG-13 and don't look, that's the best I can give you. So you want me to take off a sacred part of my costume so you can leave your mother's cake alone? You drive a hard bargain, and one I will always relent to.
"Fine." Lenore immediately jutted out her hand in waiting, her gaze dropping from her father's features to what she knows will be a prized possession of hers, her fingers impatiently wiggling, "I promise that I'll leave Mom's cake mostly alone as a trade, now hand it over, Pops."
First, I definitely did not ask, and if I did, your mother would descend upon me for even daring. Second, I have enough compliments about my perky junk in my trunk to feel great about myself for the next year. Hmm... I would know what liquor I am pouring just by habit, but no one else would know what is what until it is too late. I approve.
Overprotective mothers, you're making the right call. Someone already has an inflated ego. Wait, wait, you're actually encouraging me to disrupt your business and not bothering to put a stop to it? Okay, wolfie, I'll switch the bottles too so you'll have no idea what's what. It isn't fun when you approve.
You forget the uncomfortable-ness of it when your ass looks as good as mine does in spandex. I would be agreeable to you causing trouble as long as it does not cause permanent defacing of my bar.
I'm sure that perky junk in your trunk attracts like some dumb mating call somebody like me wouldn't be impressed by in the least. In fact, it doesn't look that good, if you're asking my opinion which you totally weren't. What about switching the label of multiple liquor bottles?
And I am wearing a spandex jumpsuit. We all look ridiculous, but the key is to have fun.
Is it uncomfortable feeling the spandex ride up your ass crack or does it feel good? I'll only have fun until there's trouble to be had.
Ridiculous, no. The perfect scarlet witch, but I could always run and grab a different shirt and red jacket for you if you truly get tired of the corset. It would be more in line with the Ultron movie, too.
I appreciate a good scarlet witch moment, but not when your dumbbell older adopted brother stuffs you in the worst costume of the several said character wears. I'm tired of the corset, big mouth, but I'll make Aemon do it so he misses a good chunk of the party. Because he's a fucking idiot.
More like I couldn't say no to the little gleam in his eye in finding out that there was a costume party. I would trade with you if I could, Len.
Yeah, okay, fine, maybe that little gleam in his eye would make me accept whatever he wanted too. I'd rather be a Kingsman.
We will, but for now we're enjoying the night and keeping it PG-13. You look like you're not having fun yet, Lenny.
Keep it rated G for everyone and I won't stab a fork through my eyes. Not until I find my cup of tea mayhem. Hey, let me have that pink medallion you're wearing with the sideways K on it and I might leave Mom's cake alone.
I do love parties, even more so when I'm celebrating my beautiful wife.
Yuck, spare my ears and get a fucking room.
Parties were never really my thing, but dad was too excited about dressing up together that I couldn't exactly say no.
At least you willingly did a pairs costume with Dad. Aemon just threw mine at my face and expected me to stuff into it comfortably.
I look fucking ridiculous in this stupid corset.
I love the work I put into my businesses, but I would hate to keep my brothers in line or deal with their stupidity. Well, seeing as your sister is an adult, I really don't need to know her potential sex life, but I will note to be more specific in my requests with you, Lenny. That's the real play with anyone who thinks they're stronger: hit them with the unexpected. I suppose I need to track this god down eventually to make my threatening non-threat.
You were shockingly versatile multi-tasking, though, even I was impressed knowing you had me to deal with on top of your brothers' outrageous stupidity. Well, I'm a little brown-noser who needs to be in everyone's business so I can give them a hard time, especially my siblings. What I wouldn't give to see Alastor's face when you give him the old fatherly one-two punch and call him out on his gentlemanly bullshit. It'd be deliciously weird if he and Des ever got married and we became part of a god's family.
What can I say, I'm a survivor who loves to be spoiled. I'll thank him, but it was my fault, honestly. I have my father's knack for picking people apart with words, and I intentionally egged your brother on too far.
Take it from a cousin whose father holds an obscene amount of wealth, I know about spoiled. No, it probably wasn't the best idea poking the big burly idiot, but he may have had it coming. Shit, I keep reminding myself that I should be nicer to Aemon for his 'therapy recovery'.
You are just like your mother in that aspect.
Just don't let anyone else know how much of a genius I am, I would have to do more work than necessary. I didn't need to know that sort of information, and that's on me for not specifying, but I might hound him. He is a god, and there is nothing I can truly do to him, but I think a casual reminder of the fact that I funded the making of Kingslayer is in order, and can probably get Wrath to protect his niece's honor.
I thought you loved work with your bajillion businesses. Well, you asked about him and I provided what I consider necessary details for the man your daughter might be dating. Casually threatening a god with a weapon that could kill anything? Brilliant, incredible, ground-breaking, spectacular, iconic, totally unique, not ever been done before. He won't know what hit him.
Well, it is nice to know that the other me at least had a little bit of humor helping you out on occasion.
Shredding holes is too noticeable; you would want to remove every third stitch from his clothing so he wouldn't notice anything was wrong until he started moving, and then his clothes would just magically... fall apart. This god that your sister fancies, do you know anything about him?
You never could say no to me anyway.
Oh my god, you are literally a genius. Aemon is going to get so pissed when everything he owns is ruined. I might know...something about the god. Apparently, he's the Time God's son and horny as fuck. A real ladies man, but he sounded sweet in the texts I was reading. Are you planning to hound him? Oh, please tell me you will and embarrass the hell out of Dezzy.
Did you ever get help from your father in these... troublemaking sessions? I wouldn't mind a little harmless fun if you don't mind me being around.
You would on occasion when you weren't hauling the ball and chain that's the crown around. You'd even give me and Quinn ideas, so I can't deny you.
We could shred holes into Aemon's new clothes and dye his sheets pink, or we could steal Odessa's phone and text the god she fancies something completely wild that she wouldn't dare say to him.
I'm always a fan of watching trouble happen as long as it doesn't involve me, so go forth.
Coming from the girl who survived our uncle fucking up her shit royally, I can't deny family from their entertainment. Your husband also kicked my brother's ass, so thank him from me for not killing Aemon.
It's like I haven't created enough trouble and I'm itching like some addict.
