Have you ever found yourself to be in the middle of a casual scrolling session on AO3 to kill time, browsing here and there, not looking for anything in particular when all of a sudden, you caught sight of a you/character fic that from the very moment you laid your eyes on its first paragraph of chapter 1, you just know it's gonna be peak, fucking peak, like the kind of fic you only found once in a lifetime in every fandom, ever. So it lowkey got you freak out and qualming and tweaking because "oh my god this is happening, it IS happening!!!". The adrenaline rush hit you like a train because you're the kind of person who get off on a good little literary piece just the way neat meth work on first timer drug user. But you're so used to delay your happiness because for whatever fuckass complexes you have got with yourself, you're just not familiar with happiness being all up in your face. You feel like you have to wait/work for it to make yourself worthy of it and make the moment last because the progress of the work is like 8/?. On top of that you don't feel like you're in the right mentality setup needed for it, yet. Just like how people be saving their best dress for a dinner at an overpriced gaudy restaurant that worth a whole month of their salary but fiction version. So for the mean time you have to distract yourself with mundane, tedious tasks of everyday life just enough for you to actually temporarily forget about it for a while and wait for the memo of it to come back to you one day. Because it always did, that's how it is, this is not the first time you've been doing this. Because you find out that what's truly good and impressive enough will always find its way back to you, weaving through your thoughts at a random moment in your day, stopping you in your track, and make you go "Oh, that one... Now I know what I'm going to do tonight." and it's like the best fucking feeling ever like me or are your normal?