The sundance kid @rubbersoled-blog - Tumblr Blog

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Cat Mechanic : I’m actually called a Vet

Me : please check that there is enough oil in my cats engine

kakkapyllypylly

super-affection

what kind of snake is this

toni-hiatus

A vicious one

theironman

friend: you should watch that

me: i definitely will!

narrator: she never watched it

egberts

idk what’s funnier, pets with stereotypical human names like bryan and mckayla or pets with completely ridiculous names like hamburger and concrete

thelovers-thedreamers-and-me

counterpoint- both, one of each. “these are my cats, switchboard and gary.”

basketcasemp3

when you havent made plans for the future and then suddenly it is the future and everything didnt just magically work itself out

kayyybaee

Me. Asf.

baapi-makwa

avvocarlo

me coming home to my gamer wife and children: greatest of keks everyone, score any sick headshots today??? oh thank you honey I’d love a bowl of soda soup, please don’t get triggered if I don’t like it this time

down-with-capitalism

Zelda sweetie, you’ve hardly touched your Doritos. What’s got you so butthurt?

kurtstiel

this post is cursed

unsympatheticchemprof

fumblebeefae

systlin

So some dude got sent to the hospital with cyanide poisoning because he was eating cherries and decided, for some fucking reason, to crack the pits open and eat the meat inside.

“I didn’t think nothin’ of it. Thought it was just a seed.”

“Deep breath”

I SWEAR TO THE FUCKIN GODS…..

(cue 25 minutes of unintelligible yelling)

….and that is why being separated from our food’s origins and not knowing anything about botany is what is wrong with the world today goddamnit.

systlin

I bet some people would eat castor beans too. Or yew. Or just fuckin’ snack on some hemlock because it’s natural, man.

Fucking incredible.

systlin

LIKE IT TAKES SOME FUCKING EFFORT TO GET A CHERRY PIT OPEN FUCKING W H Y

arandomblackbook

Question: Is it the same with plums? I used to do that occasionally when I ate dried and seasoned Asian plums as a kid.

systlin

Yes.

Plum pits do not contain as much as cherry, but they do.

Do not eat stone fruit pits, people. Or bitter almonds.

They all have cyanide in them.

chesand

Oh boy, apricot kernels. The amount of people I see lauding those as a “cure for cancer” is… demoralizing. I can’t find it right now but I believe there was a mother in the past few years who was taken to court for child endangerment/neglect for feeding those to her very young child as a cancer treatment.

systlin

I saw this horror last year, and yelled for an entire hour.

To be fair, I bet if you die of cyanide poisoning the cancer won’t kill you.

dracota

I have been wanting to use these photos for months.

The recommendation is to only eat 3 in one hour. because that is just the most filling snack and of course they will stop at three.

But then they say DON’T EAT MORE THEN 10 A DAY.

It’s not even FDA approved. “may be toxic”.

systlin

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

beka-tiddalik

Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

Just because it’s food for another creature doesn’t mean it’s fine for you.

Best case scenario it’s like grass which is basically neutral- it’s generally not going to kill you but there’s no nutrition for humans in it, and enough will probably make you sick.

Worst case scenario it’s something like belladonna berries which taste sweet but will kill you stone cold dead.

Same for the wrong kind of mushrooms, other berries, leaves and barks. Before consuming, CHECK. If you can’t check, don’t put it in your mouth.

eeveedream

Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s good for you.

I’ve been saying this for so long, oh my gosh.

scienceshenanigans

^^As a toxicologist, I approve this message.

medschoolapplicant-deactivated2

found in a physics text book

johnskylar

Physics majors throw a lot of shade considering they’re still not sure where 95% of the universe is hidden.

bienmoreau

My brother’s (a graduated theoretical physicist) only response to this was “WELL NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE!”

Schrödinger’s boys

FUCK

What about cracking open a cold milkshake

crystalsoulslayer

As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison.