Disclaimer: This article assumes that you are the woman in a relationship with a man, where both parties have agreed to let you control his orgasms and erections (using a chastity cage), as suggested in my article on Motivating the Male. You both enjoy a decent amount of kink.
It’s no accident that the title of this article can be interpreted in two ways: It could mean releasing his penis from its cage, and it could mean granting him sexual release - as in allowing him to orgasm. This article is mainly about the latter interpretation, but these two rewards are closely related, and should be used wisely.
Let’s start with erections. A properly motivated man in near full-time chastity is a very eager creature. Being let out of his cage, especially if it is to have his cock and balls played with, just feels so good. What other men get to enjoy all day, every day - having a readily available penis - is a luxury for your man. Treat it as such, and remind him in no subtle ways how lucky he is to be let out for however many minutes you grant him.
If you love edging him or just playing with his penis, by all means unlock him every night, but you should be aware of the power that lies in denying him this pleasure. I’d also like to remind you that it can be quite enjoyable to play with a locked penis too - twisting the cage, squeezing his balls until he groans, roughly flicking a finger on his taut ball sack are all things I personally love doing while we lie in bed, just talking and fooling around.
We have settled on a frequency of about 1-4 times out of the cage in a two-week period. For us, this underscores the power I have over him in a nice way and makes him thoroughly enjoy every minute of freedom.
An even more potent reward (sorry, I couldn’t resist) is allowing him to have an orgasm. Every man is different, so you’ll have to monitor his mood and behaviour after being denied for different lengths of time, before settling on your own frequency. I can tell you that I give my husband an orgasm (of sorts) roughly every six weeks, but that’s just what works for us.
The more interesting question, to me, is how you go about giving him his orgasms. There are virtually infinite ways to do this, and I find that almost all of them are great fun, but for this article I want to share a run-of-the-mill orgasm for my husband. Sometimes I’ll make a big thing out of them, and do something really special, but most of them go something like this.
I’ll usually drop a few hints during the day in question, that tonight might be a special night for him, but apart from that I don’t like to give him any idea of when he’ll get his next orgasm. It keeps him on his toes and makes it more interesting for both of us.
After receiving my usual rounds of servitude after we retire to the bedroom, perhaps a little longer than most nights, I’ll have him lie on his back and sit on his face (with panties off), facing his body. This is something of a treat for him in itself, and I’ll often just sit there for a while, rubbing myself on his face and enjoying his tongue work on me while I twist his nipples and squeeze his balls. After a while I’ll release his cock and start playing with it.
However, I do not just jerk him to climax and let him ejaculate any way he pleases. That would be a waste of opportunity, not to mention a big stinking mess. I find it hugely important to assert full control over his ejaculations, for reasons I could write a long separate article about, but will only touch briefly on here.
We practice what is commonly referred to as ruined orgasms. It basically means that he is under strict instructions to let me know when he is nearing climax, at which point I’ll try to let go of his penis at exactly the point where he has crossed the point of no return, but before he starts pumping his semen flying through the room. If you time it just right, and have trained your man to lie perfectly still and resist the urge to vigorously pump it out (as his instincts will tell him to do), his full load will trickle out in a steady but relatively calm stream, making it easy to collect (more on that later). The great thing about this is that your man will be left feeling a strange mix of having emptied his balls but without the accompanying feeling of actually coming. If you have a sadistic streak, like I readily admit to having, this is great fun. Here he is, having been caged and denied for weeks on end, and when he is finally allowed to have his precious orgasm, it is totally and utterly ruined. Not only that, but he’ll still be aroused and not feel “spent” and tired like he would after a proper orgasm. It’s benefits all the way!
The last, but also very important, detail about controlling his ejaculations in every little way, is what happens to his semen. For the last seven or so years, my husband has hardly had a single orgasm without eating his own semen after he has been allowed to ejaculate. This serves many useful purposes, in addition to turning me on. One, it eliminates the mess - a huge plus in itself. Two, it pleases me tremendously to think about the fact that my man is a closed loop as far as semen is concerned. What comes out must go right back in! Three, it’s my symbolic act of revenge for all the girls and women who have felt obliged to swallow their men’s semen through the ages. Four, I find it very entertaining to think about the fact that when my husband is begging me to be allowed an orgasm, he is in effect begging me to eat his own semen - since he knows full well that the two are inextricably linked. In summary, I just love this part of it!
The mechanics of it are pretty straightforward. If you allow him to fuck you and come inside of you (are you sure you want to do that?), make him lick it out. For simple jerk-off sessions like the one I’m describing here, I keep a glass nearby and simply hold it below the tip of his penis as his semen dribbles out. Then, rather quickly, I climb off his face and pour the contents of the glass into his mouth - which is already open and waiting.
It should be noted that there is a HUGE difference in his desire to swallow his own semen before and after he climaxes. The difference is a lot less pronounced for ruined orgasms (another reason right there), but it is still significant. Speaking for my own husband here, he finds the thought of it a huge turn-on before he climaxes, still rather exciting while he is actually ejaculating, but rapidly moving into “hell no” territory with every second that passes after that. So I urge you to make him swallow the main load within 30 seconds to a minute after ejaculating.
We tend to move into cuddle mode right after he has come. but I’ll continue feeding him the drops that leak out in the next few minutes - he has built up a nice tolerance for it over the years - and I like to make it crystal clear that if he wants to continue having orgasms, it’s his responsibility to eat every single drop. I have zero tolerance for messy sheets.
You should try hard to make this eating-his-own-mess thing work - be forceful and make him understand that it’s important to you.
So that has been our basic routine for many years. Lately, I’ve also been experimenting with making him ejaculate without being let out of the cage at all. This is actually quite simple to achieve by using (for example) a Magic Wand vibrator on his cage for a while. Everything else is the same - the face-sitting, the ruined orgasm, the eating of the semen - but it feels like it is even more ruined and somehow more sad and pathetic to not even be allowed an erection when ejaculating, which I must admit to liking. It also makes it even easier to collect his semen, since his penis isn’t flailing about. We’ve had a lot of fun with this, and we both enjoy me taunting him about how there’s hardly any need to release him ever, now that he can both fuck me (using our strap-ons) and have his (very few) orgasms while caged.
I hope this has been useful to those of you who are new to this, and perhaps even to some who have been at it for a while. Many experienced FLR/femdom couples end up with an arrangement similar to what I have described, but as always there are countless ways to do it. Remember to take this for what it is - a walkthrough of what works for us - not a universal truth.
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