RULES OF CIVILITY

[rulesxcivility]

11 Personalities You've Probably Come Across on Twitter

You know we love lists here at Rules of Civility so we'll be breaking down the personalities you'll find on Twitter. And if you guys aren't on Twitter yet, get thee to a nunnery because Twitter is the best. 

Our list will make it even easier for you to judge the people you choose to associate yourself with, because what else is social media for?

1. THE OVERWHELMING VEGAN

A lot of vegans don't know this but you can actually be vegan without having to tell anyone about it. You can just be like "hey, no McDonald’s for me thanks" rather than "OMGAREYOUKIDDINGME YOU'RE ALL MURDERERS THAT POOR COW OMG HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU, YOU ARE ALL GOING TO HELL."

or we don't know, maybe there's a vegan rule book where you have to announce your vegan status at every possible opportunity? Right after the rule saying that you can't wear leather.

Now before some of you go American Psycho on us, we're only joking, hell hath no fury like a vegan scorned.

2. THE OBSESSIVE RETWEETER

Basically, retweeting to these people is like what crack is to Lindsay Lohan.

3. THE ONE WHO STILL HASN'T WORKED OUT HOW TO UNLINK THEIR TUMBLR FROM THEIR TWITTER 

  4. THE HOROSCOPE FANATIC 

Nobody cares that you're a Sagittarius and that life may have an unexpected surprise for you today or where your freakin' moon is positioned today, stop assaulting our twitter feeds with your NONSENSE.

5. THE "LET ME TWEET ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN I AM HAVING RIGHT THIS SECOND SO I CAN REASSURE MY FOLLOWERS OF MY OUTGOING PERSONALITY" PERSON

Don’t be this person; you’re better than that. Truly.

6. THE COMPLAINER

There is one girl on every timeline who's every second tweet reads something like "f*ck work/school/friends/fake friends/not having a boyfriend/my boyfriend/gaining weight/wearing glasses/my broken tv/public transport."

 Don’t be this person either.

7. THE CRYPTIC TWEETER 

If Samuel Becket had a twitter it'd probably resemble theirs. These tweeters are very vague with tweets like "empty" "tree" "leaf" "nihilism" 
"donut".......

Here's a tip: don't bother trying to decode what they're saying, we don't think even they know what they're on about.

8. THE LAMENTER 

Also known as 'nostalgia girl'. Expect lots of "I miss summer" "can't wait for summer" "counting down the days till it's summer again" tweets accompanied by gratuitous bikini shots.

9. THE COMMENTATOR 

Thanks to this person you don't ever have to watch a game, a tv show or bother to pay attention to anything in life again. Forget TiVo, the commentator has your back. 

10. THE AMBIGUOUS TWEETER

"so excited for today!"

WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU EXCITED FOR???????

11. THE FITNESS FREAK

Do you compulsively post photos of shirtless torsos or skinny legs? If so, this is probably you. Way to make the rest of us feel bad. "Just went for the best run!" ugh. 

P.S We've all been guilty of being at least of one the above so don't be too offended, it's only the internet. 

[rulesxcivility]

THE BEST SONG EVER?

Obviously, One Direction and their song-writing team are revolutionary in terms of song content. Their new single is, a bit presumptuously, titled 'Best Song Ever'.

Let's take a closer look.

Maybe it's the way she walked straight into my heart and stole it

You should probably go see your local GP and get that checked out, like, immediately.

Through the doors and past the guards just like she already owned it. I said can you give it back to me she said never in your wildest dreams

Your wildest dreams need a makeover if they focus on you getting back your bloody vascular organ. Gross.

/

We danced all night to the best song ever

So, the song is called 'Best Song Ever' and in the song they refer to dancing to 'the best song ever'... someone call Christopher Nolan because these are some Inception-esque hijinks. Does this mean that One Direction members dance to their own music? 

We knew every line now I can't rememberhow it goes but I know that I won't forget her

Good idea, you'll need to remember her face for the police line-up when they catch the CRIMINAL WHO STOLE YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS.

'Cause we danced all night to the best song everI think it went oh oh oh I think it went yeah yeah yeahI think it goes, oh

True. But this could actually describe a lot of One Direction songs. One Direction songs: 50% lyrical content, 50% na na's, oh oh's, whoa's and yeah yeah's.

Also, this describes me pretending to understand a person who is explaining street directions to me, "oh oh oh, yeah yeah yeah......."

/

Said her name was Georgia Rose And her daddy was a dentist

Braggy much, Georgia Rose?

Said I had a dirty mouth butshe kissed me like she meant it

Your dentist Daddy should've taught you better than that, #HERPES

I said can I take you home with me, she said never in your wildest dreams

She may be a boastful kleptomaniac, but she is consistent. As consistent as Harry Styles' butterfly tattoo.

/ Okay, I'm not going on with it because you get it. Now I'm going to go hit replay on the best song ever. 

[rulesxcivility]

a step-by-step guide to falling in love with a celebrity (or ‘how to ruin your own life')

spot your celebrity of choice in a movie or television show and briefly consider praying to a higher power for creating their particular strand of DNA.

use the nearest available internet-enabled device to spend the rest of the movie/episode googling the hell out of the individual. or yahoo-ing or… bing-ing, if you’re weird.

after deciding that nothing on their wikipedia page is enough to deter you from loving them with your entire body, mind and soul; embark on an image search and proceed to examine enough photos of them until you can pick out your future husband/wife (lol not) in a police line-up.

after saving a hideous amount of photos, make your way over to youtube to watch video after video featuring your chosen celeb. at this point you’re in way too deep especially if they behave endearingly in interviews e.g. bringing their dog with them to talk show appearances or having A BRITISH ACCENT.

make this person your phone and/or desktop background. good ol’ step five. this is the point of no return.

become convinced you share a deep connection with this PERFECT SPECIMEN and sabotage all your friendships by relating everything back to this celebrity ("we both love olives" “he enjoys jazz music, i like michael buble") and all future relationships by measuring everyone against them.

repeat.

*for your own mental health and safety always remember that when a celebrity says “of course i’d date a fan" what they really mean is, “a plebeian? no way."

source: getty images

[rulesxcivility]

The 10 Commandments of Selfie Etiquette

  1.Thou shalt always be sparing with amount of selfies you upload (this is definitely a case where 3 is NOT better than 1)

2. Thou shalt resist from hashtagging entire vocabulary, especially when it consists of phrases like #likeforlike #instababe #instadaily #tagforlikes #photooftheday

3. Thou shalt refrain from pulling duck faces 

4. Thou shalt not seek social validation from taking a selfie in front of a dirty mirror with an SLR

5. Thou shalt always keep thy mirror clean 

6. Thou shalt not use Thursday as an excuse to upload a picture of yourself from a week ago

7. Thou shalt always be cautious of objects, people and the general surrounding when taking a selfie - once it’s on the internet, it’s there forever. YOUR CYBER FOOTPRINT MATTERS MORE THAN THE AMOUNT OF LIKES YOU’RE GOING TO GET JUST BECAUSE YOUR HAIR LOOKS NICE IN THAT PHOTO

8. Thou shalt have gained the wisdom to avoid selfies upon reaching the age of 30 (I'm looking at you Kevin Rudd and Shane Warne)

9. Thou shalt keep captions appropriate. Your pre-clubbing selfie really doesn't go with that philosophical quote from Plato, think about it.

10. THOU SHALT ALWAYS HONOUR THY FATHER AND MOTHER. Honestly, don't be shameful. 

          HAPPY SNAPPING!

[rulesxcivility]

Hey MTV welcome to our BLOG

In celebration of the best thing the internet has ever given birth to (aka this blog), this post is dedicated to our prolonged uni break (no complaints), our boredom and lack of consistent employment. Movies are expensive, the shops are overrated and flooded with awkward bump ins with people we'd rather not interact with and well, hobbies are SO 2010. So we thought, being the smart and technologically orientated, independent women we are (kudos to steve jobs and 2nd wave feminism - respectively) why not try our luck with a blog, DUH. 

So enjoy x